several days’ worth of entries
I fell down on the job this weekend so here’s a bunch of things in one. Technically I only need three but I feel bad about flaking so here are FOUR THINGS
Pet (2016, dir. Carles Torrens)
Do you know what happens to a great white shark when you put it inside an aquarium? It bashes its brains against the glass. Every time.
I took a chance on a movie I’d never heard of before and I’m really glad that I did. The first fifteen minutes of this movie were so excruciatingly awkward that I almost bailed, but I stuck it out, and it ended up being more than worth it. Pet presents itself as a fairly predictable “man likes woman, man stalks woman, man kidnaps woman and puts her in a dog kennel when she rebuffs his affections” story but it isn’t really about that. I would even say that the title doesn’t really represent the spirit of the whole movie; it’s more fitting for the last five minutes than it is for the whole story. Ksenia Solo is fantastic as the kidnapped woman Holly. Dominic Monaghan does an all right job but Solo acts circles around him.
Parasyte by Hitoshi Iwaaki
This is another one that I keep thinking I’ve recommended but I haven’t. Parasyte is a landmark work of sci-fi/horror. It’s Invasion of the Body Snatchers meets Animorphs meets Venom and it has enough wild body horror to satisfy even the most bloodthirsty gorehound.
The premise of Parasyte is that a bunch of parasitic alien beings—not unlike the alien symbiotes in Marvel comics—have landed on Earth with the intent of conquering the planet. They’re supposed to take control of human beings by slithering into peoples’ ears and replacing their brains, but one of them fucks up because the intended host is wearing headphones. That’s how the taciturn high school student Shinichi ends up with an alien parasite in his right arm. As you might expect, hilarity ensues. Shinichi and his live-in friend Migi develop an interesting rapport that makes Parasyte worth reading for more than just all the teeth and eyes.
Night of the Demons (1988, dir. Kevin S. Tenney)
This is a qualified recommendation. Like a lot of 80s horror movies, Night of the Demons suffers from a surfeit of male gaze-y, homophobic, prudish horseshit. For example, there is an extended, largely pointless closeup of one female character’s underwear. You get the idea. Even with that, however, I really enjoyed this movie. The makeup is phenomenal and it actually managed to surprise me a few times. There’s a scene involving a tube of lipstick that’s genuinely shocking and upsetting. Basically, a bunch of dirtbag teens throw a Halloween party in an old abandoned funeral home and find themselves possessed by demons. You might be surprised by who makes it out alive. I know I was!
Creep 2 (2017, dir. Patrick Brice)
A while back I tagged some screenshots of this movie insisting that I was going to write about it, but I never did. Well. Creep 2 absolutely rules. I think it actually improves upon the original. Giving the central serial killer a more dynamic filmmaker to play off was a really good choice. Also, Mark Duplass gets totally naked, but his female costar (the MARVELOUS Desiree Akhavan) does not! At least, not on screen. I found it a refreshing and somewhat shocking subversion of the horror movie “laws of nudity.” Please know that when I say naked I mean his entire dick and balls are on display. If you are dick-averse you may want to avert your eyes as soon as Mr. Duplass walks into frame wearing a towel. Anyway, it’s a good movie. Check it out on netflix.
