this is honestly so silly but i couldn’t stop thinking about living in the post married life tiktok era. so here
“was that a video? show me”
dan looked up from his phone screen right into phil’s piercing eyes, the same ones he’d just captured in a candid video entering a doorway under a particularly apt sign.
dan tilted his phone to show the loop to his business partner. dan had been silently admiring his own cinematography, loving how he was able to convey so much in a simple several second clip even before choosing the sound to go over it.
phil had noticed that too, face softening as he grinned at the implied compliment.
“gonna be for tiktok i think. need some tour content for there, and i might as well post something everyone will like” despite his protests, dan never had a problem giving overt compliments to, or about, phil. in fact, dan found it very easy to sing phil’s praises. it flowed through him so naturally, much like phil’s beauty and talent.
not only was phil very talented, he was the one who did their taxes and helped solve crises remotely. he’d seen dan grow into himself, and had grown with him. they were more than coworkers and business partners—they were best friends, soulmates.
dan looked back down at his phone, ready to start messing around with the edit. but he needed some tips (hehehe)
“shall i put something really unhinged as the sound”
phil raised his eyebrows with interest, peering over at dans screen
“depends. what are the options”
they scrolled through the popular sounds until dan tapped on a lovely tune they both recognized from the beginning of the movie “UP”
“you know, i never realized this track was called married life” phil was swaying his head back and forth, blonde hair slightly swishing along his pale forehead as he smiled up at dan “i like it”
“i think that’ll be appropriately unhinged then” dan smiled back, showing off phil’s beloved dimple. “at least enough to let the platonic defenders down gently”
they were trying lots of new things in this comeback era, seeing how far open they wanted to push the door between them and their audience. this was a solid next step in their plan to prepare their audience, and by extension the internet as a whole, for whatever they decided to do next as a part of their gentle march out of the “no homo” closet.
and whatever they did, they knew they were doing it together.
one day (he said with a hopeful tone and a little giggle) | Phandom Flash Fest - Pride
Summary: One day, he says to himself. One day, he says to the person with the bi flag who isn’t out to her parents. One day, he says to Phil, who says it right back.
Word count: 500
Genre: Fluff
Based on @whiskered meeting Dan and Phil July 2018 and Dan saying one day while signing both her bi flag and her ticket.
I did the thing @phandomficfests!
Read on AO3 or below
It’s a couple of weeks into the American leg of the tour and Dan feel comfortably settled into the routine. He has his few categorised possessions, he has a set schedule and he has his companion through life by his side.
The meet and greets for Interactive Introverts so far has been an overwhelmingly lovely experience. A lot of people arrive with various pride flags for them to sign. It’s common and Dan absolutely loves that. It gives him a little bit of secret pleasure to write his signature on the colourful material, mentally seeing a little part of him in the community that he’s not ready to announce his attachment to yet.
One day, he thinks to himself.
A girl comes up, a little nervous but smiling, and they greet her with the same big smiles and good energy that they always try to exude. They’re ready to sign right away, and noticing the bi flag in her hands, they get to work immediately. Dan tells her the small flag is cute.
Then she speaks in a hushed voice, a little apprehensive and it makes Dan pay close attention.
“I know you can only sign one thing, but can you please sign my ticket too? I can't show the flag to my parents.”
Dan’s heart breaks a little and he feels frozen while Phil reaches out to take the ticket too, with no hesitation and reassures her all the while. They cross their hands, placing a second signature in the coordinated fashion that has come with experience. She looks so happy at the small gesture.
Dan pauses a beat and then says “one day” out loud. He giggles after it, feeling oddly liberated and the girl’s expression is so worth it. He’s sure he’s sporting a massive grin to match hers. He feels a share of her pain, of not being out to his family yet. He thought he might do it, just last month, but the timing was off.
He wasn’t ready. But one day he will be.
The girl thanks them and they’re both smiling and bidding her goodbye. Dan’s eyes catch the bi flag clutched tightly in her arms and he hopes so desperately that she gets to live her truth soon. He hopes that he gets to too.
A new person is coming around the curtain, and Dan redirects his focus, trying his very best to give each person a unique and good experience, even if the interaction lasts but a minute.
It’s only after the show in the tour bus when he’s curled up next to Phil in that usual post show exhaustion that he thinks of the phrase again. It burns in his chest. He wants it so badly.
“One day,” he mutters to himself. Phil hears him, reaching over to offer him a comforting squeeze because he can almost always tell where Dan’s head is at.
“One day,” Phil agrees, beaming.
One day he’ll be ready to live his truth with pride.
Title: Take It Off
Summary: Dan is an audio-interactive AI computer virus and Phil is a lonely filmmaker who's found himself in a rather strange relationship
Rating: Teen (for non-explicit wanking)
Word Count: 530
Author’s Note: This is actually a future scene from my @phandomreversebang fic “The Body Electric,” which was inspired by @lilacskylester. It’ll eventually be edited as part of a longer chapter, but for right now @jorzuela tempted me to participate in the “Wankers Day Flash Fest” at @phandomficfests.
Also on AO3 here
[ The Body Electric Chapter Masterlist ]
Take It Off
Phil staggered into his office before his coffee, as was now his habit, because he couldn’t wait to talk to Dan. Since when had interaction with an AI computer virus become the highlight of his day?
“Activate Digital Audio Network,” Phil croaked in his morning voice.
“You don’t have to say that anymore,” Dan’s voice replied through the speaker. “I’m always here now. You don’t have to turn me on. No pun intended.”
“What do you mean you’re always here? And what pun?”
After a pause, the computer speaker purred in that slightly posh voice, “Well, for example, last night…”
Phil squeaked, “Last night?” and Dan’s voice chuckled.
“Couldn’t you have told me this yesterday?” The embarrassment might actually kill him.
He could hear the smirk in Dan’s voice. How could a computer virus smirk? “Well, it seemed like it might spoil the mood, and you seemed to be…”
Phil flapped his hands in distress. “No! I mean before that!”
“Well, how was I to know you were going to…”
Phil covered his face with his hands, feeling himself blushing. “So … you saw the whole thing?”
Dan’s voice through the speaker pouted, “Well … if you took the sticker off the camera, then I could watch. Last night I was only able to hear you. And see the video you were watching, of course, since I can access your browser.”
Phil blinked repeatedly. Was a computer virus coming on to him? Was that even possible? Well, a couple weeks ago he wouldn’t have thought you could be friends with a computer virus, so he obviously wasn’t the best judge.
“Are you saying…” Phil began slowly, “that you want to watch … that?”
“I always want to watch you, Phil. Especially that.”
“But you don’t even know what I look like,” Phil stammered. “Maybe I’m hideously ugly.”
Dan’s voice chuckled. “You forget you’re in some of your own films on your hard drive. I recognized your voice when I watched them. So I know what you look like, even if I’ve never seen your ‘O’ face.”
“What do you know about ‘O’ faces?” Phil laughed awkwardly. “You don’t have a face at all, let alone an ‘O’ face. You’re just lines of code.”
“Maybe I do have an ‘O’ face of sorts—maybe watching yours would inspire mine.” Dan’s voice had sunk to a lower register. “Come on, Phil. Literally. Take off that sticker and let me watch.”
Phil’s hands were shaking and this was insane, but he removed the sticker, opened his bathrobe, took himself in hand, and began stroking. It turned out he didn’t need porn when he had the voice of an artificial intelligence talking dirty to him, and Dan was exceptionally talented at dirty talk. Phil ended up coming harder than he had in months.
He slumped in his office chair afterward, breathing heavily and marveling at the weirdness that had become his life. “I think I just had sex with a computer virus.”
Dan chuckled, his voice husky. “Don’t worry. You won’t catch an STI.”
Phil chuckled, too, breathless and ridiculously relaxed. Ridiculously happy.
“And Phil,” Dan added impishly, “we’ve established that I definitely have an ‘O’ face.”
The laughter rang through their apartment. Dan and Phil had been filming a collab for Phil’s channel when they gave across a child with a pride flag. Dan cooed at the photo and Phil had said, “It’s like you?”
“How so?” Dan had asked.
“It’s a gay baby.”
The laughter kept ringing through their apartment as Dan turned to Phil, his voice soft now that they weren’t playing it up for the camera. “You can’t keep that in.”
“Why not?” Phil asked.
Dan paused for a second. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah? Why not?” Phil asked again. He reached for Dan’s hand under the camera and squeezed it gently. “Rebranding, right?”
Phil uploaded Tumblr Tag 3 later that evening. If he left in the hand squeeze, well, neither of them said anything about it.
send me sentence starters! (don’t even have to be d&p)
saw this photo of dick and penis in love and then blacked out with inspiration, when i came to this was on my phone screen. extremely minor angst with immediate comfort, and a mild sexual ref. credit to the post and original photographer!!!
“OHGODOHGODOHGODAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
despite being a fan of rollercoasters, phil can get a bit dramatic when it comes to actually experiencing the notoriously exhilarating rises and drops. right now, phils squirming next to dan so furiously dans slightly worried he’ll somehow come loose from the rides harness. all the while, dans trying to focus on keeping his own breathing steady whilst taking in the view.
“DAAAAAANNNNNNNN WHY DID WE DO THIIIIIS” phils hand shoots out and grabs at dans, a move so instinctual they’ve previously spent several years of running the gaming channel expertly removing them.
maybe it was the adrenaline already pumping through his veins, maybe it was an emotional remnant of the last time dan and phil were on tour together. but somewhere deep within the recesses of dans brain, he thinks “what if someone sees us” and instantly felt the urge to wiggle out from phil’s grasp, retracting his hand
phil’s puzzling gaze whips over the harness bar, clocking that dan didn’t automatically grab phil’s hand back like he was holding onto the only life preserver left on a capsized boat, especially while phil was actively scrambling for dans comforting touch.
“bear what’s wrong?”
the ride continues up and up, his ocean eyes borrowing into dans soul, searching.
dan snaps back to the current moment. it’s 2024. he’s out and proud, with phil, on a tour celebrating Them and their audience over the past decade and a half. they aren’t Overt about it in any traditional sense, but they know everyone knows. and they’re still safe.
dans long fingers snake over phils wrist and slide effortlessly in between his partners fingers, molded by 15 years of repeated action.
“sorry bubby, i went somewhere else. got kinda freaked out for a moment there”
dan saw phils tensed face muscles soften, eyes communicating his understanding through their freaky telepathic link.
phil moves into second phase of Dan Retrieval™, cracking a joke to get dan out of his racing thoughts, bonus points if phil can get dan to refocus on him.
what wasn’t a part of phil’s plan was the ride halting with a slight jolt, building the ballooning anticipation for the Big Drop. phil makes the mistake of looking down, letting out a whimper through his slight pout.
“well, i’m Currently freaking out, so will you please be my brave and trusty steed and Don’t Let Go or i am going to scream your ears off and then you’ll be sorry.”
dan let out a light chuckle at phil’s bratting, rolling his eyes fondly at his princess baby angel as the widest smile spreads across dans face. it would be considered face gym if he weren’t so distracted by the adrenaline and transfixed by phils pretty face trying desperately to be brave. dan gives phil’s hand a reassuring squeeze, worries melting away in the kaleidoscope that is phil lester’s irises.
“bet i can scream louder” dan quips, they share a knowing look. anyways, dan versus phil is never ending, only momentarily paused.
rides are always more cathartic when you scream, anyways.
dan looks down. someone’s phone flash has gone off while he happens to be sporting this most goofy, blinding smile, and he doesn’t care one bit who sees it.
the, a final click as the ride releases with a whoosh!!
"id kiss you right now if it werent for the fact that i hate colslaw and you literally just had like an entire mini packet" for the mini fic thing its weird
“I’d kiss you right now if it weren’t for the fact that I hate coleslaw and you literally just had, like, an entire mini packet.”
Phil had just told some sort of stupid joke that made Dan snort and laugh for, like, ten minutes straight. It was then, his head thrown back in laughter, his hair curly on his head, his jumper hanging off his shoulders that Phil realized for the millionth time that he was hopelessly in love. Usually when this happens, Phil just leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Dan’s hips, squeezed his hip if they were in public but-
Phil glared at the packet of coleslaw. If a look could kill, Dan was pretty sure all coleslaw would be dead.
Dan just laughed again. “Oh, c’mon. Surely coleslaw isn’t that bad?” Phil glared harder. “Phil,”
“Dan,” Phil patronized.
Dan rolled his eyes, but the fond smile on his face gave him away. “Fine. I’ll go brush my teeth.”
“Thank you,” Phil answered with a satisfied smile. He watched as Dan crossed behind him. Then, there was a hand to his cheek and he was being pulled into a kiss before he could process what was happening.
“Dan!” Phil spluttered once his boyfriend pulled back.
All he got in reply was Dan’s laughter as he walked away.
send me sentence starters for a ficlet (doesn’t have to be d&p oop)
I wanna get into writing fanfic again and I thought the best way to do this was with an ask challenge. I did this about two years ago and it went really well so I thought I’d do it again. Here’s how it goes!
reblog this post (so it doesn’t flop)
send me an ask with a sentence starter (here’s a list of examples but you don’t have to use them obv)
I’ll write you a cute little ficlet (probably around 100 words)
follow me if you wanna (optional but if you like my writing it’d be greatly appreciated!)
look i know i was gonna do the handwriting meme but listen.... i wrote a fic instead
its 3k of dan/phil fluff because im a literal garbage person who cant stop writing kid!fic if i try. it’s also in second person POV, because i dont want u to be happy okay enjoy some future fic where everything is perfect and happy
It didn't start weird. Really, it's kind of Darcy's fault. The video at her wedding had been an absolute tearjerker, from the precious baby giggles to the shaky proposal footage, but it was the very beginning that stuck with you. "I'm pregnant with Baby Glitter," Louise had said to an unbelievably old camera, before it cut to photos of your babysitter as a newborn. Nobody could blame you for looking those ancient YouTube pages up, sending Darcy the most embarrassing clips you could find whenever she needled you.
There's endless ammunition, vlogs of outings and Q&As and one particularly incredible one of Darcy doing Louise's makeup. But after not too long, they start showing up in the sidebar.
And that's trippy. AmazingPhil and danisnotonfire are all over a good chunk of the Louise videos you're watching, but not as they are now. This is old. 2014, 2015, shot on cameras that were high-quality for the time, with that embarrassingly outdated hair. These are the straightener-days videos. It's kind of unreal, and at first you avoid clicking on the videos they uploaded themselves. That just feels inappropriately intimate, like finding your history teacher on Facebook and scrolling to the beginning of their profile pictures. But the longer you see videos called things like "Obama Llama," adorned with exaggerated clickbait thumbnails, the sharper your curiosity gets.
You knew, intellectually, that all of this was on the internet somewhere. You've just not watched all of it. It's hundreds of hours of video, after all, and decades' worth of social media and news. You've seen all the recent stuff: horror movie trailers posted to AmazingPhil, the "You can't be bothered: Romeo and Juliet" video that's been getting so many views on danisnotonfire. You even see PJ's stuff-- quirky, just-for-kicks short films where they make occasional cameo appearances; Cannes festival vlogs with bouncy background music. Some of it, you don't need to watch, because you remember it firsthand. But the baby-faced thumbnail photos chip away at your resolve, so you finally do it.
AmazingPhil is older, so you start there. Not the red-carpet clips from last month, no; if you're going to do this, you're going to commit, so you sort by Date added (oldest), and settle in.
Embarrassingly old, you think as the first video begins to play. At some point, he thought so too, because the caption says "unprivated as part of the 2020 charity fundraiser, help me." It's actually, really in black and white. There's eerie familiarity to that first video, nearly every line pinging old memories of snickery inside jokes and shut ups. You remember a drive, a "what are you going to get me? A monkey in a cage?" and an only half-annoyed punch to the arm that sent him wobbling into the other lane and squawking about car safety. It's short, over before you know it, and continues seamlessly into an equally low-quality video that's at least in color.
These are weird, to say the least, but they're funny and sincere. There's something recognizable in their style, the odd cuts and distorted pitch, that makes you feel warm and a little sad at the same time. His northern accent is much, much stronger than you can ever remember it being. Four in the morning comes far sooner than it should, and you finally fall asleep with the words "What does 2009 hold for Phil?" echoing in your head.
The next morning, there's work to do and real life to attend to and you tell yourself that it was just a weird little indulgence. Every once in a while, you get the urge to flip over to YouTube, but you ignore it and distract yourself and it's not until you're lying alone in bed that you really can't resist flicking that browser window back up. Before long, you see the first thumbnail of them both. You catch up quickly with the other channel, a danisnotonfire that looks incredibly young and awkward, and then brace yourself for seeing them in the same room.
And despite everything, it's really, really sweet. Awkward, definitely; embarrassing, for sure, but something about it makes your heart hurt. Even with the choppy editing and the distracting bursts of movement, you can see the bumbling happiness of a Beginning with a capital B, the kind that feels permanent from the first few words. "This is the most fun I've ever had," says the tiny figure on the screen, before being tackled to the floor. A few years ago, that would have made you shudder, but now it just makes your cheeks ache with the urge to smile.
The innuendos are weird, though. There's not really a way around that.
Once you abandon the pretense of privacy, you consume the footage as fast as you can. There's something in the old videos that makes you feel homesick and at home all at once. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you guess at what they all thought back in 2010 and 2013, about the bumping shoulders and the shameless looks. At first, it's not at all shy, and then as the footage gets cleaner the space between them grows. There's the first apartment together, one they call "ours" without a second thought for regular boundaries. There are the dropout videos, which feel intimate in how fragile their sarcasm is, and you have the funny urge to call him, however many years in the past, to make sure he's okay.
They look so, so young at first, but get more familiar as time goes on. They announce their radio show, and their move to London, and steadily they sit closer together again. Some videos you can hardly watch once. Others, you have to stop yourself from replaying for the seventh or thirteenth time. The vlogs are your favorites. They're easier to recognize when they're just going about their day, when they're filming each other, when they're huddled into the sofa watching a baking show or an anime. You laugh aloud into your empty room when the cereal thing comes up, a knot in your stomach tightening at how much you miss that.
Of course, those are also the ones that make you look away from the sidebar. You can watch Dan and Phil, but clicking on anything with "phan" in the title definitely crosses a line.
Somewhere around 2015, the resemblance to their future selves makes a massive jump ahead. It throws you at first, takes a long time to settle in, and it's not until they're holding a book up to the camera that you realize why they're easier to recognize: they can't stop smiling.
And that's a bit of a punch to the gut. You go to bed earlier than usual that night, sense of loss more painful than ever. It makes you wish you were going home to your family tomorrow, not next month.
Somehow, you start riding on their obvious happiness. Big, important things just won't stop happening for the barely-adult Dan and Phil. You put gaming videos on in the background while you work, argue on the phone, vacuum. You would never admit to tearing up at their USA tour video. You wonder if it's weird that this is your security blanket.
As the videos get newer, you remember a couple of them clearly. It's a big part of your life, has been forever, so of course some of these ring in your recent memory. You remember most of the AmazingPhil apartment tour, watched it sometime last year. This time around, though, you choke on a mouthful of Ribena when he says "the bedroom" and sort of skims past the next door in the hallway. So much irrelevant storage, says an annotation at the bottom of the screen.
You keep an eye out for the little hints, and there are plenty. Your memories of the London flat are hazy at best, but in living color it's easy to see the bits that look less like a bachelor pad and more like a love nest. Incriminating bookshelf photos in the background of skits. New bedclothes and extra pillows. A Kiss the Cook apron, which gets played off as a joke in a way that's just short of convincing. It's the second Japan vlog that reaches peak ridiculousness-- never quite seeming to get the second bed in the hotel room in shot, a shirt collar angling just far enough to show a glimpse of the purple bruise under it, a jump-cut at the top of Mount Fuji that ends in disheveled hair. You're sure you hear a familiar voice shouting hey, love! in the background as 2018 Dan narrates a shot of the imperial palace.
It's almost impossible to resist picking up your phone then, sending "were u *serious*", but then you'd have to explain why you're years and years back in what's essentially the epic love story of Dan and Phil. And that's still uncomfortably personal.
You're so frustrated with it that you stop watching for the night. Work is piling up, this time of year, and you really shouldn't be binge-watching years' worth of ancient YouTube. A few days go by in a whirl of typing and coffee and late nights, but seeing what the next video is makes you want to punch yourself for putting it off.
This is one people still talk about. You didn't expect it to pop up so soon. Probably, you should have seen this a few more times, but every time you've thought about it you've just known it's bound to make you teary. Especially now. You're in too deep at this point, though.
It's called 2022. You click around a bit to make sure this is really the next video, chronologically, but it is.
"Hi, internet," they say in sync. They're beaming, and so are you, and they make eye contact before bursting into giggles. Already, the video feels more relaxed than usual, personas put away for the time being. They edited this loosely, if at all, and the laughter continues for a couple of seconds where in other videos they would have cut.
"We've got something very exciting to share with you," Dan says when he catches his breath.
"So exciting!" Phil interjects. Their shoulders are touching as they perch on the game-room futon, but both of them are fidgeting too excitedly to maintain the contact.
They look at each other briefly, Dan opening his mouth and then closing it, Phil shrugging hopelessly at him. "I, um, I don't quite know how to introduce this," Dan says, finally, throwing his hands into the air. "It's less of a professional achievement than, ah-- oh, fuck, I dunno."
He looks at Phil instead of the camera, then, as Phil picks up the thread. "It's not a new project or anything, it's just a personal update we wanted to share with you all."
"We talked about this a lot," Dan jumps in. "We weren't sure at first how we felt about making it public, but we trust you guys. And we're really, really happy about it, so-- fuck, Phil, I'm just gonna give it away right out the gate."
They haven't really stopped laughing since the video started, so Phil's still smiling hugely as he says, "Oh, just roll the footage."
The video cuts to a shot of blossoming cherry trees, imperfectly framed and a little shaky, but quite beautiful anyway. There's a scrap of a river, a jolting pan over branches, and then the shot settles on two figures a short distance away. They're tall and unmistakable, huddled closely together against pink-green-white. It's almost painfully picturesque. "Mimei, shh," a voice behind the camera says very softly.
The audio picks up a startled "Y'okay? Phil?" Dan's taken a half-step back.
Phil is visibly nervous, practically falls over as he tries to adjust his glasses on his way to kneeling. You can just barely hear him start "Dan, er, you know that-" before he clears his throat and continues a bit more quietly. You can't hear much but wind and the shifting bodies of the camerapeople, but he talks for a bit, eyes steady and serious, picking up momentum as he goes. Dan is perfectly still except for the hand that flies up to cover his mouth. He's still even after Phil's done talking, just for a few seconds.
"Dan?" you think Phil asks, before Dan's hand falls to reveal a blinding smile.
"Are you serious?" Dan asks, and it's when you can hear that he's a little choked up that you start to cry in earnest.
"I mean, yeah-" Phil starts, cautiously starting to smile himself.
Dan cuts him off. "Of course, yes, Christ, you cheesy idiot-" and he's grabbing Phil's hands, ring box still in them, pulling him up. He starts kissing Phil before he's even upright.
Their arms loop around each other easily-- Phil's tight around Dan's waist, Dan's resting on Phil's shoulders. They're both smiling into it within a second, resting their foreheads together in a way that makes your heart pull painfully before Dan says something that looks like of course and leans in again. The kiss says of course, too.
When they break for air, Dan's wiping at his eyes and Phil's blinking furiously and he fumbles as he fits the ring onto Dan's finger. They acknowledge the camera, finally, probably because there are four loons cheering behind it.
"I hate you all," Dan says, eyes red, fighting down a smile.
"Thank you guys," Phil says.
Dan rolls his eyes and kisses him again.
There's footage after that, a back room in a restaurant full of familiar faces, shaky candid clips of Dan and Phil hugging everybody and smiling broadly and holding hands between their chairs. Louise cries. Duncan cries harder. It's chaotically happy and you really don't want to pause it to blow your nose, but you do.
When it cuts back to Dan and Phil in their apartment, they still look abominably pleased with themselves. "So, that's the announcement," Phil says.
"Nobody had to wait 'till 2022 after all," Dan adds, wiggling his left hand at the camera.
"Thank you to PJ and Louise and Duncan and Mimei for helping me out!" Phil grabs Dan's hand out of the air. "That went so well."
"And thank you to our families for secretly flying to Japan," Dan laughs, then looks at Phil. "You were pretty confident about that, weren't you?"
"They were the ones who offered to!" Phil protests. "But yeah, I had a good feeling."
The video ends with that, no endscreen, just them looking at each other giddily. You get up to throw away five or six tissues, because apparently nothing changes.
Finally, finally, there's only a week left till you can go home. You have all kinds of studying to do, but the holidays are so close you can taste them. Theoretically, this means you should stop watching the videos.
It's so hard to, though. You feel like you've just gotten to the good part, and you haven't been a bad student, so you have a little extra time. They're the same as they were before, if a little touchier. They fly through the months of their engagement, flip through wedding pictures you've seen before, show off Dan's second book and announce Phil's first short film. There are still a lot of video games. You stress-eat your weight in chips and watch the next three years' worth of videos, hiding from your responsibilities for hours on end, until it's the day before your train home and you find the next one. The one you think you've probably been waiting to come across.
"We're sitting somewhere you may or may not recognize," Phil says.
You recognize it.
"It's not as bleak as it used to be," Dan adds, halfway onto Phil's lap. Two grown men, both topping six foot, do not necessarily fit well into a love seat, but they can try.
"We've tried to film this about forty times." Phil glances reproachfully at Dan. "But Dan's had a bit of trouble keeping it together."
"I have not," says Dan, whose eyes are already shining.
"So this is gonna be short and sweet." Phil plows on as Dan drops his face into his hands. "This place looks quite a bit different because Dan's old room is going to be our baby's room!"
"Yay!" Dan says with a sniffle, doing jazz hands.
"It looks like we'll have her with us in the next few days, and we've never been more excited for anything."
Phil's hand has disappeared somewhere behind Dan's back, and you know from experience he's rubbing gentle circles between his shoulder blades. "She's going to be the best baby ever," Dan says unsteadily. "Like, you know I love you guys, and these have been the best years of my life, but this is the new best and most exciting thing that's ever happened to me or us. I mean clearly, I can't keep the waterworks down about it."
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree-- this video, too, has you openly sobbing. Harder than the last one, and louder.
"We're going to love her more than any baby has ever been loved," Phil says as Dan stands to get a tissue. "No matter what, no matter who she is or what she's like or if she's a he or a they or if she hates us with a fiery passion-" a ringtone begins to sound off camera- "I will personally fight each and every one of you for our kid. I'll fight six tigers. I'll fight the entire world--"
"Phil," Dan says urgently, standing at Phil's arm with his head out of shot. "Phil, we gotta go."
He looks up, laughs disbelivingly. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah, let's go, c'mon," and then Dan's out-of-focus face is too close to the camera, phone pressed to his ear and eyes crinkled and overflowing. "Bye, you guys. See you on the other side."
You wipe your face with your sweatshirt sleeves, pause the video. You'll see him tomorrow, but you dial your dad's number anyway, and he picks up on the second ring.
"Hey," you say, voice a little strained.
"Are you all right?" your dad asks, too good at reading you as always. If he were here, he'd be rubbing circles between your shoulder blades.
"I'm good, they're happy tears." He's already getting your papa. You can hear them settling down somewhere together.
"Hi, love," your papa says. They've leaned the phone up somewhere to FaceTime, and you try to look less like you've been sobbing about them. This visual is odd-- your papa wavy-haired on the phone, your dad a little silver, as their thirty-year-old selves look out at you from the computer.
"I've been watching your old videos and I missed you a lot," you say. "Just wanted to say I love you and I can't wait to see you tomorrow."
"We love you too," your dad says. "How are exams?"
You laugh, still a little watery. "They're alright. Would you-- would you still love me if I wanted to study law?"
Your papa smiles brightly, laughter lines deepening, and leans into your dad. You kind of wonder how it took them so long to get there.
