Hello! Could you possibly write a Phan x reader (polyamorous relationship cause I rarely see it) and the reader is depressed and kinda suicidal so Dan and Phil just take care of them all day. Like tell them why they're amazing (cute sticky notes idk whatever is fine) and take them out and just make em happy and feel worthy. Very fluffy! You don't have to write this if it's too triggering and/or if you're against polyamory. I'm just sad and this stuff always makes me happy. Chao!❤
Requested by anon:
Could you pleeaasee write an imagine where Dan and Y/n have a cute date night at home with dinner, movies and cuddling, etc and then they put music on and 'Perfect' by Ed Sheeran comes on and they slow dance in the living room and with their foreheads pressed together and just really fluffy stuff then Dan says everything he loves about Y/n and he proposes at the end of the song?? Sorry that it's so specific! thank you! <3
I let out a big sigh as I continued to apathetically browse Tumblr on my laptop, not really even enjoying what I was doing. I was just trying to distract myself not to dwell on my negative thoughts.
I stirred in my bed, lying in a different position, and feebly kept on scrolling through my dashboard. I couldn’t wait to go to sleep.
Then a knock came on the door, surprising me. Even though, honestly, I should have expected them to check on me. Truth was, I had almost forgotten I lived with Dan and Phil.
“Come in” I replied tiredly, sitting up slightly to look at the door.
“Hey, Y/N” Phil stuck his head and stared at me.
I noticed how he frowned when he saw me, his eyes filling with concern.
“Hi, Phil”
“You alright?” He asked me, trying to keep an upbeat tone in his voice.
With a sigh, I put the laptop away and properly sat up. Phil cautiously walked into the room when he noticed this.
Since I wasn’t really saying anything else, he sat down in the bed with me.
“We haven’t really seen you for like two days other than bumping into you on your way to the bathroom or something” His beautiful blue eyes pierced me worriedly.
“I have been feeling… well, pretty depressed” I was so tired that I didn’t really care telling him the truth. I just wanted to feel better.
I could read the genuine sadness in Phil’s eyes in response to my words, but he still kept a cheerful attitude when he replied.
“Why hadn’t you said something? You know we’re here for you” His hand tenderly rubbed my upper arm in a fond gesture.
I just shrugged, not really knowing the answer. When I was like that, I was pretty lost and didn’t really know how I felt. I was just so dull and passive.
“Well, we’re gonna get you to smile, you’ll see” Risking it a bit, he leaned forward and kissed me in the cheek. “Dan!!”
As he called out to the house, hoping to receive an answer, he stood up from the bed and offered me a hand. I felt too lazy and couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed.
“Yeah?” Finally, it came Dan’s voice from somewhere in the house.
“Y/N is sad!” Phil replied loudly, so he could hear him. “Come here and help me put a smile on this cute little face!”
I rolled my eyes at his attempts, still finding them endearing. Phil was also so bright and so nice, it warmed my heart.
“Wot?!” Dan exclaimed in outrage, and we could hear him racing toward us.
Phil chuckled at his endearing gesture while I waited for the inevitable.
When Dan arrived to our room he was gasping for air as he had run so fast, the goofball. I would have smiled if it weren’t for that mood I was rendered in because of my stupid depression.
“You’re sad?! I thought you were being lazy and wanting to be alone with your movies and stuff” He sighed, not too happy about such discovery. “Is your depression acting up again?”
“Yeah…”
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“I don’t know…”
The two of them were there, watching me worriedly, and they were so determined to help me. It was so sweet, but I couldn’t expect less dating them both.
“Wanna go play videogame or something?” Phil offered with a kind smile.
“I guess…” I shrugged again, not truly feeling like it but knowing it would do me some good.
Besides, Dan and Phil always managed to cheer me up. I never understood how they did it, but after spending a few hours with them I felt so much better. They made me so happy.
I guessed I was too focused in my own negativity to remember. Or to even think about going for them for help.
“Let’s go!” Dan took me by the arm and somehow pushed me onto his shoulder.
“Dan!” I complained as he carried me outside the room.
“Be careful!” Phil yelped in a high-pitched voice, stretching his arms out just in case I fell, prepared to catch me.
*
They tried distracting me with videogames, movies and anime, but it didn’t quite work. I couldn’t really focus enough to enjoy any of those activities.
Using it as a last resort, we were watching Friends, knowing how great that show was. It always filled you with great vibes and made you laugh. Good enough, I guess.
The three of us were cuddling in the couch, me being in the middle so I was in the receiving end of both their cuddles. Phil comfortably rested his head on my shoulder and cupped my hand with his, a gesture that surely meant to reassure me by giving me some affection. Dan copied him as well, taking my other hand and intertwining our fingers together.
We laughed a little when, in the TV, Joey pushed Ross into the refrigerator and blamed him of breaking it. That show was so light-hearted and funny that it somehow managed to raise my spirits a little.
Feeling comfortable and slightly better, I leaned into Dan and rested my head on his chest. Phil didn’t lose time to wrap his arms around me and fondly nuzzle my neck as Dan placed an arm around me.
We didn’t speak as we watched TV, we didn’t need to. We were comfortable, and for the first time in days it was finally starting to feel like I could allow myself to smile a little. Because I was content right there and then with them.
All of a sudden, Dan suddenly gasped. I could hear his heart speeding up a little since my ear still rested over his chest.
“Have you eaten anything today?” When I looked up at him, I noticed how he stared at me gravely, eyebrows knitted in concern.
“Y/N, please tell me you have” Phil separated himself from me, but his hand refused to leave mine.
“N-Not really…” I admitted in a whisper, ashamed to confess it.
It was just that when I felt like that it was so hard to accomplish simple tasks as such. Eating, drinking water, showering… all those things felt like a world to me when all I had the energy for was lying down in bed.
Not to mention that my upset stomach wouldn’t really accept food.
Gently sitting up so I wouldn’t fall without his support, Dan then stood up. He dedicated me a determined glance as he pointed his finger at me.
“Phil, you spoil the fuck out of Y/N” He told us in his jokingly important voice. “And I’m gonna make dinner!”
“Dan, you don’t have to” They were definitely spoiling me, actually cooking for me.
“I’m gonna!” He was already on his way to the kitchen.
Knowing him, he would also make my favorite meal even if it took him forever.
While Dan was gone, I looked at Phil. His kind blue eyes were piercing me lovingly, it made me think of how much they both adored me. Perhaps if I was worth their love, I couldn’t be that much of a mess as I thought to be.
I managed to smile a little, warmed by the idea that they were trying so hard to cheer me up, to take care of me and remind me how much they loved me.
To do anything in their power to make sure to look after me when I didn’t look after myself, to distract me and be there for me. That alone meant the world to me.
“You already know this, but…” Phil mumbled, eyeing me carefully as though what he was about to say was delicate. “You can always talk to us, if you need to vent or cheering up or anything”
“I know, Philly” Endeared by his further efforts, I held his face and pecked his cheek amorously. “Thanks”
He then displayed a cute smile, even if his pale cheeks had turned a light rose tone. It was adorable when he blushed.
“Want a marshmallow?” Phil suddenly said to avoid embarrassment and to divert my attention from his blushing.
To my surprise, that precious boy pulled out a small bag of marshmallows from his pocket as though he carried it with him at all times. I always knew he had a sweet tooth, but that was ridiculous!
“Phil…” I laughed, shaking my head at the silly scene.
He then let out a strange noise, a mixture between a shocked gasp and a happy high-pitched squeak.
“Dan!” He was overreacting, but it was great seeing how he celebrated my improvements. “Y/N smiled! She’s laughing!”
“Wot?!” A yell came from the kitchen, and we soon heard feet stomping as his enormous stature ran across the house to get back to us again.
Seconds later, he stood at the door of the room, watching us with a twinkle of joy shining in his brown eyes.
“Mission accomplished!” Phil jumped to his feet and high-fived him.
Even if they missed and made a fool out of themselves. I couldn’t tell if that was deliberate or not.
“Does that mean you’re gonna stop being nerds?” I affectionately asked them, trying to convey my gratitude.
“No!” Phil replied in his outraged high-pitched voice.
“It is still our duty to spill you to the maximum!” Dan took my hand and gently pulled at it until I was standing up from the couch. “Come here!”
“I’ll keep cooking, be right back!” Before he left, Phil kissed me in the cheek.
Gallantly, Dan placed an arm around me and took my hand and began to slow dance with me.
“Thanks, Danny” I gladly snuggled closer to him, hiding my face on his shoulder and enjoying the warm closeness.
“Don’t mention it, Y/N” He left a tender kiss on my forehead that made me giddy.
*
Having eaten, hydrated myself and being spoiled, it felt livelier. Dan and Phil’s cares had greatly improved my mood and seemingly belittled my worries and insecurities. They were still there, but with those two boys around they didn’t seem as important anymore.
Somehow I ended up lying in the couch, with my head resting on Dan’s lap as he tenderly caressed my hair and with my legs up on Phil’s as he absently tapped his fingers against them.
Thanks to them, I was experiencing a comforting calm and peacefulness that I hadn’t in days. My anxiety used to drive me crazy with distressing thoughts and this feeling of being unable to breathe. But right then I sighed happily.
“You know what you could use now?” Phil mumbled, his eyes directed to yet another episode of Friends in the TV. “Some fresh air”
“Very fresh air, actually” I replied jokingly. “We live in London”
Dan and Phil exchanged a hopeful glance because of my little joke. Those two nerds, being so happy that I felt in the mood to make a joke.
“You’re right” I mumbled as I lazily stood up. “But just a little walk, I’m kinda tired”
“Yeah, just enough to get you some fresh air!”
“Or some direct sunlight” Dan teased us, knowing it would be cloudy.
I briefly gave them a kiss before I went to get ready.
As I walked to my room, I noticed there was something in my door that wasn’t usually there. A small green sticky note with Phil’s messy handwriting.
Curious, I picked it up and read it.
‘Hi, Y/N! Get ready to read the things we love about you…’ I turned around the small note to read what was in the back. ‘I wanted to tell you in person, but Dan knew you would be all flustered so…’
That comment earned a chuckle from me, because I realized they were right. I would feel overwhelmed and stupid if they rambled about those things in person. But it was an adorable idea, and one that definitely made me feel better.
I opened the door and let out a small laugh when I noticed there were sticky notes all over my bedroom. Dan and Phil must have sneaked in when they were ‘making dinner’.
The closest one to me was on my bedside table, a blue sticky note with the number 1 scribbled on it with Dan’s handwriting. I picked it up and turned it around to read the first compliment.
‘Your amazing smile! Are you kidding me? That bright, genuine wonderful smile that can bring world peace! *heart eyes*’
I was very glad that they decided this method instead, because I would never see the end of it if they were telling me all those things to my face. I would blush so hard that their teasing would end me.
In the headboard of my bed there was a yellow one that read ‘Number 2. Your eyes are so warm and friendly and beautiful!’ with Phil’s handwriting.
The number 3 was written by Dan, stuck on my desk, and it said ‘I swear, Y/N, the sound of your laughter is so pure and precious that it purifies the darkness of my soul’ in an orange sticky note that made me laugh.
As I got changed, I kept on reading these cute little notes. And feeling happy and blessed with each one.
*
They were waiting for me out of my room, already dressed and ready to go out. They were so lovely, it was so heartwarming all they were doing for me that day. And always.
“Ready?” Dan asked me with a warm smile plastered in his lips.
There were hidden mischievous smile on both their faces as they tried to pretend like they didn’t fill my room with adorable little notes.
I nodded and hugged them both tightly. I lingered on the embrace for quite a while before we left the apartment, feeling lucky that I had those two wonderful boys that I could call boyfriends and that would always be there to cheer me up. To make me smile.
requested by anon ; Hi :) now that Dan and Phil are moving out of their appartment, could you write something where they become your new neighbours? Thank you
A/N : I know they don’t really moved to an apartment (i think) but let’s go with it for the sake of the storyline c:
The apartment next to [Y/N]’s had been empty for a while, something that was rather odd for a building in London. Not that she didn’t mind to have the floor to herself. [Y/N]’s downstairs neighbors hardly ever were home, so she could turn up the volume of her stereo just a tad more.
But one day [Y/N] got rudely disturbed while she were watching her favorite TV-show. Loud screams and groans were heard from the stairs.
‘For fuck sake, Phil,’ She heard a guy say, followed by another guy laughing – probably Phil.
‘I can’t help it!’ Phil said, still laughing. ‘We’re both way too weak for this, Dan.’
‘Oh, talk about yourself, will you. You’re the one that had to take all this bullshit stuff with you.’
[Y/N] had a hard time to not burst out laughing, since the conversation was pretty hilarious. But at the same time she did want to open up her door and yell at the guys for interrupting her Netflix binge watch.
But she decided to eavesdrop for just a little bit longer. Judging by their voices, they were around her age. But you never could be too sure.
So [Y/N] took out her earbuds, pushed away her laptop from her lap and onto her bed.
‘It’s not bullshit! Those are all memories from my videos.’
‘Whatever, just lift up the box again.’ It seemed to stay quiet for a bit, until she heard them run down the stairs again. That went on for a bit, accompanied with occasional cursing and screams. She did hope they weren’t that loud at night.
And what did the one guy mean with … videos. [Y/N] could only guess what was meant with that.
The cycle of silence, shouting and running down the stairs was repeated for a few times. [Y/N] was still not sure if she should open up the door or stay inside the safe space of her apartment.
But, a loud BENG pushed her over the edge and made her walk towards her front door. When she opened up, she saw two guys standing in on the stairs, a brown box between the two of them.
‘Eh, excuse me, but what the fuck are you two doing?’ [Y/N] asked loudly so they would understand and hear her.
The guy with the brown hair turned his head since his back was facing her, and the one with the black hair looked up.
‘Oh, hi!’ The last one said. ‘We’re, eh, we’re moving in. Sorry to disturb you. We’ll be done soon.’
‘Soon? Ha, wouldn’t count on that since somebody can’t lift for shit.’ The one with the brown hair said.
‘What?! That’s not true! You just don’t have any coordination!’
‘Oh, but –‘
‘I hate to disturb your lovely conversation, but you two know that there’s an elevator, right?’ [Y/N] said, pointing towards the steel door where the elevator was behind.
‘Oh God.’ The one with the brown hair said, softly shaking his head. ‘That’s just great.’ The guy with the black hair just started laughing, making [Y/N] smile too.
‘Welcome to the building.’ She grinned. ‘I’m [Y/N], by the way.’
‘Well, hi, [Y/N], I’m Dan, and that there is Phil.’
‘Nice to meet you,’ [Y/N] grinned again. ‘Need some help getting those boxes up?’
‘If you don’t have anything else important to do,’ Phil smiled. ‘Because then yes, please!’
‘I was just binge watching a show, so it’s fine.’
‘I think we’ll get along just fine,’ Dan laughed. ‘C’mon Philly, let’s get this box up the stairs.’
They got the box up the stairs, and then [Y/N] went downstairs with them to get the last couple of boxes with the elevator. Dan and Phil both couldn’t understand how they’d missed the lift, but [Y/N] found it very entertaining.
When all the boxes were in their apartment, they invited [Y/N] over to thank her by paying her pizza, they all ate together.
At that moment, [Y/N] knew she would get along just fine with her new neighbors.
Erik to Mme Giry: here.*shoves something in her hands* after all these years of succesfully helping at hiding my presence from people who would want me dead I thought you deserved a consolation prize.
Mme Giry: ...is this a dvd?
Erik: Yep.
Mme Giry: ...a dvd called "Leap"?
Erik: *nods enthusiastically*
Mme Giry: and why would you give me this?
Erik: I thought seeing a movie about a really talented ballerina whose dreams are shattered because of an accident and is then forced to spend the rest of her life taking care of an opera house and teaching ungrateful brats the same thing she can never do again would somehow appeal to you.
Mme Giry: ...
Erik: they even put a devilishly sassy, better looking version of myself. You definitely have to see it.
WARNING: Pretty damn fluffy and cuteness overload, you’ve been warned! ;)
The silence was killing me. But what was even worse than the torture of the emptiness that filled the room was the fact that Y/N’s eyes wouldn’t leave me.
For fuck’s safe, I was probably blushing like a teenage girl!
“Can you stop staring at me?” After a long pause, I finally gathered up the courage to speak up.
I cautiously glanced at her and saw something that warmed my heart and deeply embarrassed me at the same time. The way Y/N was looking at me.
My friend was looking at me like I was the sky during the night, filled with the beautiful stars that light it all up. Like I was the most wonderful thing in the world. I could read her mind at that moment, and I knew how adorable she thought I was.
“Why are you so shy all of a sudden, Dan?” That bloody smug smirk plastered on her soft lips was so attractive that it soothed my anger.
And I was determined to keep on seething until the embarrassment eventually disappeared, but she was making it hard for me.
“I just kissed you in front of the whole world and expressed how adorable I think you are!”
“Could be worse” My friend wiggled her eyebrows, making a dramatic pause. “You could have kissed me in the lips”
“That’s enough” My whole face exploded in an obvious flush, so I immediately stood up.
I was already halfway to the door when she held my hand. Not my arm, not my wrist, not my shirt. My hand.
It took all the self-control within me not to intertwine my fingers with hers. Even though I never had the conscious thought that it was what I wanted to do until her hand held mine.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to actually harass you” Her playful and smug tone finally faded away to be substituted with an apologetic and gentle one. “I just found it so endearing that I couldn’t help but to tease you a bit”
There it was again, the silence and the stare. Even if knew any hints of playfulness left the environment, and there was only room for fondness.
It made me uncomfortable to admit my feelings, even to myself, so I rushed to pipe up and break the silence.
“It’s your fault anyway” I didn’t even know what I was saying anymore, all I could think about was the feeling of her hand against mine, and it was too distracting.
“For being adorable?” When Y/N friendly raised her eyebrows, I finally relaxed.
We had been friends long enough to understand non-verbal language, and I knew her demeanor was her way of telling me it was all okay. I didn’t need to feel ashamed for what I had done, because she had enjoyed it.
Another pause. But at least this one was comfortable, it didn’t suffocate me.
We looked at our joined hands, and it was her who intertwined her fingers with mine.
“Let’s talk about it then” Her lips beautifully curled up in a grin that I couldn’t resist.
I nodded quietly and followed her as she gently tugged at my arm, swinging our hands as we went to sit down in my bed together.
I looked at her, knowing I was giving her the same look she gave me before. One full of love and adoration, with fondness and tenderness. Just then did I find myself wondering in which way.
“Do you… do you have a crush on me?”
“I don’t know...”
“Just answer the question, Dan: yes or no. I won’t get mad or anything”
“I honestly don’t know!”
“Then we’re screwed” She sighed, leaning her head on my shoulder and hiding her face in my collarbone. Her hand never left mine. “Because I don’t either”
“Well shit” Even though my heart was racing and thumping against my chest, I preferred to pretend like her response didn’t affect me that much.
Just play it cool. She might like you back... but you don’t even know if you like her in the first place, you twat!
“Phil was right…” Y/N uttered absently, heaving a content sigh.
“I’m not gonna be the one to tell him, though” I chuckled, making her let out a hearted guffaw that was music to my ears.
Every time Y/N laughed that adorable and contagious laughter of hers, a precious puppy was born.
But yes, our friend Phil was definitely right. He was always saying how close we two were, even for best friends, that it was weird. We didn’t even know why people kept mistaking us for a couple, but now that I thought about it I could understand the missunderstandings.
Phil would walk in on us cuddling and watching a movie like we were lovers. Me holding Y/N close to me, absently playing with her hair while commenting on the movie. Her nuzzling her nose against my neck –which, for the first time in my life, wasn’t weird. Y/N was the only person in the world that could touch my neck and it didn’t feel like it was being invasive. Other than, maybe Phil –and sleepily answering me.
It wasn’t the first time that she fell asleep on my arms either. Or that I carried her to bed. All those things came so naturally to us…
I made her laugh because it was literally the most beautiful sound in the world. She insisted on spending more time with me because she missed me whenever we were away, despite of the fact that we lived in the same house.
Oh god, we were totally dating and we didn’t even know! We just thought of those things as innocent signs of platonic affection, but… what if they weren’t?
We were probably too close for too long. We probably spent way too much time together. We probably knew each other too well. We probably were developing a huge crush that we passed as a special friendship.
Why was that, there and then, the first time I actually felt butterflies in my stomach when I held her hand? We had done so many times before, playfully or absently, but we had.
Maybe it was the first time we consciously did it.
Before I could either eat my head or convince myself that my feelings for her weren’t just purely fraternal, I felt her lips caressing my cheek ever so gently.
“What…?” I slowly looked over to her, wondering how long was I quiet for. “What was that for?”
Y/N shrugged and looked down, apparently calm. But she was blushing, and she then giggled in an adorable way.
“Just testing something out” Was her timid response.
“You missed” I perked up before I could think twice. “My lips are down here”
Oh, how the tables had turned. Now I was the one to be all smug staring at her while she violently blushed, cute and embarrassed.
Stupid of me, I fell in my own trap. I found myself craving the touch of her lips, so I leaned in as fast as she did. Needless to say, it resulted in a giant flop.
Eager to kiss each other, we had flung ourselves to the other’s face. Too eagerly.
Instead of our mouths meeting, it was our noses which bumped into each other.
That was it, that was the definite cringe fest. I was already shutting my eyes tight, knowing that it was hard to fuck up worse. I could already see that event going deep into my memories, staying there etched in my brain until I eventually blocked that shit.
But I opened my eyes, pleasantly surprised, when Y/N laughed at our awkward and silly encounter. She found it cute and funny.
I smiled in relief, seeing as she didn’t think I was a total loser. And I actually chuckled along with her.
“Real smooth, Y/N” I teased her, trying to keep up that amazing mood.
“Me?!” She exclaimed, outraged even though she was laughing out loud. “It wasn’t my fault!”
“I’m gonna try it again” I announced, reluctantly letting go of her hand to gently hold her face instead. “And this time I’m gonna kiss you on the lips!”
My serious tone made her laugh even more, despite the fact that it wasn’t my intention. Truth was, Y/N had always been giggly anyway. All the more reason to give her a little push and keep her happy.
I gingerly pulled her face closer to mine, just as I tried to close the distance by leaning in myself. But just when I brushed her lips with mine, she smiled on my mouth and pulled away.
“Y/N!” It actually made me quite mad, because I had been so close to kiss her just to be snatched from the opportunity.
“Sorry, I’m sorry” She covered her face in an attempt to drown her laughter. “It just was hilarious, we were so sexy and serious and…”
“How do you expect us to find the truth if we don’t even kiss to test it?” I fondly chuckled as I observed her.
But I knew it would only get worse, develop into an actual laugh attack, unless I did something about it. And I was craving her lips too much to let that happen.
“Stop laughing, you nerd” I firmly settled my hands on her waist, taking a huge risk –yolo, right? –and attracting her towards me with as much passion as I could possibly gather.
She squeaked in surprise as our fronts touched.
When our lips finally met, I felt how I relaxed from a tense posture I didn’t even realize I was having. So did Y/N, who melted in our embrace.
If we had doubts before, any traces of those were soon gone. It was undeniable, unmistakable.
The heat that came over me, the butterflies intensifying inside my stomach, the desire to have her even closer despite our mouths being connected, the immense wave of affection that rushed through me as I thought of her.
I didn’t know how long we had been kissing for, I lost track of time because it felt so good to pull away. All I knew was that I needed to stop for oxygen, and she was breathing heavily as well when we broke away.
Almost as in a silent understanding, our foreheads rested against each other as we smiled. I dedicated her the sweetest and most loving grin I could do.
“Well, it’s definite” Y/N gently backed away to look into my eyes, shoving a tuft of her hair behind her ear. I had never seen her so… flirty. “I’ve got a crush on the meme lord”
This time it was me who laughed, not really expecting such sentence to come out of her mouth.
“Meme lord, huh?” I squeezed her sides mercilessly as I held on to her hips. “Is that way to call your boyfriend?”
I could see the shock in her eyes, which was what made me realize of the word I had just used.
Wow, Dan, you realize you like a girl and kiss her once and she’s suddenly your girlfriend? How more painfully awkward can this get?!
“I shall call my boyfriend whatever loving pet names I want” Came her witty remark, to my surprise. As though she was consenting, she was agreeing that she wanted us to be a couple now. Which was fine by me. “You dork”
Instead of it sounding like a loving insult, it sounded like an actual compliment from her lips. How could just one person hold so much adorableness?
Still taking her by the hips, I tried to swing her around to sit her in my lap because I just wanted to have her even closer. It was all in good fun, we were being playful and cute. Until I freaked the fuck out.
Y/N was not ready for me to sway her around, because she squeaked very loudly and held on to my neck for dear life.
“Oh my god!” I screamt at the top of my lungs, thanking whatever superior forces above that Phil wasn’t home to hear it. “Y/N!”
I was quick enough to move her onto the bed instead, because she would have heavily fallen to the floor otherwise. But I just basically threw her to the mattress in pure terror, in a frantic and completely unconscious movement.
“Are you okay?! Y/N, I’m sorry!! I didn’t mean to… oh God, I’m so sorry!!!”
I should have expected it, knowing this girl, but she curled over herself and started having a laughing fit. Much to my relief.
“You utter nerd” I softly slapped her in the leg as I recovered from a heart attack.
“Oh, Dan…” Y/N mumbled as her laughter slowly died down after a while. “Nice reflexes”
Realizing why I did that stupid thing in the first place, she took the initiative to sit in my lap herself. Once there, she hugged me and hid her face in my shoulder.
Hers were shaking with the remnants of the laughter that still made her giggle a little. But her arms around me were warm and comforting, reminding me that even with yet another fuck up, Y/N was all on board.
If my awkwardness didn’t make her uncomfortable and instead it made her laugh, I considered that a win.
“I feel so bad, though” I mumbled, still a little traumatized from almost accidentally killing my new girlfriend. “Are you okay? Did you hit your head or something?”
“No, I fell in the bed perfectly fine” She said against my shirt, sending shivers down my spine since her breath filtered through the fabric and tickled my skin. “I’m fine, don’t worry”
“Are you sure?” I laughed a little, hurriedly wrapping my arms around her once I realized I should be reciprocating the embrace. “I feel like I need to buy you a drink to make up for it all”
“Nice callback, Danny” Y/N finally showed me her face, with a bright smile to light it up.
“I feel like I ruined the moment” I frowned, genuinely worried, making a face to correct myself. “Moments”
“No, you just made it more special” I could tell by her tone that she meant it, that she wasn’t just saying it to make me feel better.
“Aw” I amorously squeezed her against me, treasuring her touch and how she snuggled closer into me when I did.
I just held her, I hugged her tight.
I was hugging my actual girlfriend, who moments before was my closest friend who happened to be a girl.
What even had just happened?!
Wooo! This took forever to write, but I finally had the motivation and inspiration to finish it! Sorry to keep you all waiting, but thank you so much for the feedback because it’s what mainly pushed me to write a part 2 for you guys! Here was the demanded sequel to ‘Liveshow’, I hope you all loved it as much as the first one <3
A/N: I got this idea from this post, from the @imaginedanandphil blog, which is really good! :D Also, written in Dan’s POV!!
Summary: Dan is in the middle of a liveshow when Y/N randomly decides to be loud on the other room and distracts him. Until she ends up joining him, with unexpected results.
For fuck’s sake. Y/N was being so loud in the other room, she was probably playing a game and having a rage fest because of it. Or fangirling about something. One thing or the other. Maybe even both, something to do with feels.
But since I was in the middle of a liveshow and couldn’t exactly do much at that moment, I resolved to just roll my eyes and grin at the camera with a resigned chuckle.
“Y/N is being so noisy” It was kind of distracting to hear her, even if I tried to focus on the people on the chat. “Rude…”
I grinned and held a finger up while I quietly listened to her. At that very moment, she was squeaking and then shouting some gibberish.
“Oh, yeah” I laughed in amusement. “Typical Y/N”
I briefly glanced over to the screen and read some comments, trying to read something out loud and maybe reply to something. But just then Y/N loudly hit something repeatedly and made me lose my focus again.
“I’m just gonna text her” I shook my head as I grabbed my phone. “At least she didn’t ally with Phil this time”
They knew Phil and Y/N would sometimes purposely ruin my liveshows by being rambunctious little shits. It was a thing we had going on, sometimes I would mess with them while they’re in the middle of a liveshow as well.
“Sup, Y/N?” I said out loud as I typed the words to text her. “Can you not? Trying to do some bants with the lads”
Then I hit send and looked up to the screen again. Everyone was going crazy about my friend, so many comments about her. I chuckled at the sight.
“’Please bring Y/N’” I read out loud. “’Tell her to come’, ‘ask her to join in!’”
I was about to reply to all that and tell the viewers that she wouldn’t feel like it and I didn’t want to bother her really. But then my door swung open and when I turned around, I saw her standing there.
“I didn’t even mean to be loud, I’m sorry!” My friend seemed so worried that she had pissed me off by accident. “I just got so angry playing!”
I didn’t get why, since she would purposely piss me off on a daily basis. So I laughed out loud, deeply enjoying her face expression.
“What were you playing anyway?” I asked her in a high-pitched voice as she came in.
“Witcher 2!” Y/N exclaimed angrily. “The controls get on my nerves sometimes and it’s infuriating”
I just chuckled and motioned to the screen and webcam as I still looked at her.
“Well, join me if you’d like” Then I turned around as soon as she walked closer and sat at the edge of the bed next to my chair.
“Okay…” She quietly said, standing there with her hands restlessly laying on her lap.
“In case any of you guys don’t know, this is my friend Y/N!” I happily announced. “She’s appeared in some of mine and Phil’s video, you surely remember her”
When I took my eyes away from the webcam to look at her, I noticed how she was fidgeting, bouncing her leg or fiddling with her own fingers.
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…” She kept mumbling to herself, so low that I could barely even hear.
“Are you actually nervous?” I asked her, grinning in amusement.
To cheer her up, I messed up her hair fondly seeing as it was taking her a bit to answer.
“I’m so afraid I’m going to embarrass myself on the internet” She told me in a whisper, to which I rolled my eyes.
“Fuck’s sake, Y/N” I placed a playful hand on her shoulder, softly shaking her around. “You’re talking to me about getting embarrassed on the internet?”
Relaxing a bit, she finally chuckled.
“Right, sorry” Y/N kept nibbling on her bottom lip. “It’s just we’re live and can’t really edit it out”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine” I had fallen off chairs on liveshows and so many other crap, it was embarrassing but not the end of the world. “Let’s answer some q’s, shall we?”
Y/N sent a determined head nod my way, to which I friendly winked an eye to her.
“How did you meet?” I read a question that was being asked in the chat and started laughing.
I had forgotten how contagious my laughter was for her until the moment she chuckled and it developed into a more natural and relaxed guffaw as well.
“Okay… tell them, Dan” She encouraged me.
“Right, so…” I grinned widely and looked at the webcam. “You all know I’m literally the most awkward person in the world, right?”
Y/N then chuckled again and hid her face on her hands as she began having a mild laugh attack. She was definitely thinking back to that moment, and I didn’t blame her. It was so stupidly awkward and cringe worthy.
“It was awful” She whined in between chuckles.
“I swear it was like in a bloody cheap romance movie or something” I started to say, licking my lips absently. “Since I’m so big and wasn’t looking where I was going, I bumped into her”
“Which is strange, seeing as he never leaves the house” Y/N was definitely feeling more comfortable, because she was straight up roasting me.
“Rude” I quickly muttered before I kept narrating. “And of course, I knocked Y/N onto the floor”
The both of us just started laughing.
“You major nerd”
“And so” I continued, merely acknowledging her loving insult by glancing at her for a second before I set my eyes back on the webcam. “I of course freaked the fuck out”
“You should have seen his face!” By that point, Y/N was almost crying from laughter. Her voice was high-pitched as she wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “And I wasn’t even angry or anything”
“Oh, but I felt terrible” I assured, nodding vehemently. “So I apologized non- stop and pulled her up, asking if she was okay, and still saying ‘sorry’ like a bloody parrot”
“Dan… he-he” Y/N wanted to add something, but was laughing too hard to form any coherent words.
“But yeah, we introduced ourselves and that’s how we meet”
“The nerd offered to buy me a drink or something to make it up for me since he was feeling so bad about it!”
“Moving on” I chuckled, reading the chat.
Everyone was commenting about our story. Saying it was hilarious, adorable or very silly. The three of those options were correct.
“What music have you been listening to recently?” I read a comment out loud, but couldn’t get the username since it got lost in the ocean of comments in the chat.
“A lot of videogames soundtracks, actually” Y/N replied, comfortably leaning on the bed as she recovered from her laugh attack. “Mainly Final Fantasy VII, Kingdom Hearts and Undertale”
“Same” I sweetly grinned at her.
“What about you, Dan?” She smiled back at me. “Anything else?”
“Muse, actually” I told her, turning back to them and looking into the webcam as if it were obvious. “The last album is brilliant”
Someone had made the mistake of bringing Muse up in the chat, and so I was rambling and fangirl about it for a while.
However, something made me stop. I felt something touching my hair very lightly, almost in an unnoticeable way. I then heard a muffled chuckle and before I even turned around I knew it was Y/N.
“What…?” I began saying, when I saw her giggling.
“I’m sorry!” Y/N whined between fits of laughter. “I started to mess up your hair, but I didn’t really want to upset you and…”
“What’s even happening?” I laughed a little, observing her in amusement.
“I just…” She was just having another laugh attack, which I found adorable since she provoked it herself. “I just stroked your hair carefully with one single finger and it was hilarious”
I couldn’t help but to laugh a little as she completely lost it and burst out in loud guffaws of laughter. She got so silly and giggly sometimes.
“Please don’t tickle me” She begged me as she wiped her eyes from more laugh tears. “I didn’t even do anything”
She knew me really well. Whenever she jokingly annoyed me I would retaliate by tickling her. And it was hilarious because Y/N was extremely ticklish.
“You can’t tell me what to do” I replied coolly with a shrug, starting to tickle her immediately.
“No!” She hid her face on my shoulder and squirmed around as I laughed evilly and kept poking her sides. “Stop it!”
It was even funnier because she started talking in a high-pitched voice and acting like an adorable puppy or something.
“Danny!” Y/N held on to my hands to try and stop me, but failed miserably.
“Do not touch my hair!” I tried to appear serious for comical purposes even if I couldn’t keep a straight face and began laughing so much I had to stop.
Just on time, though, because when she started squeaking I knew she was on the verge of breaking down. It wouldn’t be the first time that Y/N would throw herself to the floor and softly laugh as she recovered from the tickles.
Instead, she just kept leaning on my shoulder, breathing heavily and still giggling softly.
“Daaaaan” Y/N said with a high-pitched voice, trying to tell me off.
But it just caused a genuine guffaw of laughter from me. When she looked up at me with a cute pout I couldn’t help myself.
“You’re so adorable” I couldn’t hold back the urge to hug her tight and kiss her in the cheek.
It was like when you see a kitty or a puppy, get cuteness overload, and actually implode. Just that with a person who happened to be one of my best friends.
But then I actually realized what I had just done. The fact that I had been so affectionate to wrap her in my arms, bring her closer to me and actually kiss her. I had just kissed Y/N, oh my God!
“Um…” I mumbled in awe, not knowing how to act anymore.
“Did you just kiss me, Dan?”
My stomach squirmed even more and my eyes opened wide when I remembered something. We were still live, and everyone on the internet had just witnessed that horrible embarrassing and intimate moment.
I immediately let go of Y/N and threw myself to the computer like my life depended on it.
“Thanks for hanging out with me guys, see you soon!” I panicked as I ended the liveshow and recovered from the ten heart attacks I was going through.
Hi! Could you do a phantom imagine where the reader has been their friend for a long time and they finally introduce her and do the whisper challenge and all the fans love her :)
“Ugh, I’m so nervous!” I exclaimed, taking Phil by the shoulders and shaking him.
He chuckled a little and kindly patted my arm.
“It’s going to be okay, Y/N”
“Where’s Dan?!” I whined, getting impatient, when the butterflies in my stomach intensified. “Dan!!”
“I’m coming!” He yelled back from his room.
“Oh my God…” I stirred around, so nervous still.
I was super excited about Dan and Phil wanting me in a video with them, but I couldn’t help to freak out a little as well.
I mean, after all I was finally going to appear in my friends’ videos after just watching them for so long. It felt exhilarating to think about it, but slightly terrifying as well. Mainly because people would judge me, probably think that I wasn’t as funny and great as Dan and Phil were.
Their fans were definitely very passionate about them, and I could understand why. I was a fan myself, apart from a friend.
“Sorry” Dan mumbled, plopping down in Phil’s green and blue mattress with us and quickly fixing his hair. “I’m ready”
To show us how ready he was, our friend pulled out a determined and hilarious face as he clapped his hands.
“Okay” Phil cleared his throat and stood up to set up the camera.
“Is everyone ready?”
“Yes, Phil, let’s do this”
“No!”
Both of them turned their heads at me, slightly concerned but somehow amused.
“We’re gonna do it anyway” Dan tilted his head a little, almost evily. “Phil?”
The dark haired boy shrugged and turned the camera on. Then he sat between us again.
“Rolling!” He announced happily.
“I hate you…” I mumbled under my breath, even though a part of me wanted to get over with it as fast as we could so I could breathe again.
“Hey guys!” Phil began, waving his hand at the camera to greet the future viewers.
“Hi” Dan waved as well and deliberately bumped his shoulder against mine subtly to encourage me.
I just managed a friendly smile that probably turned out awkward and horrible.
“I’m here with my friend Dan, who you all know by now” Phil began, and I internally dreaded that moment because I knew I was to be introduced next. “And our friend Y/N!”
“Say hi, Y/N!” Dan exclaimed in a tone that obviously wanted to mock me.
“Hi, Y/N” I sassed him, pursing my lips together to avoid laughing at my own lame joke.
He slammed his hand against in forehead in response.
“Just so you know, Y/N is very nervous since it’s the first time she’s appeared in one of our videos” Philip began to say, making me turn my head to him in reproach for announcing it. “So please write something nice about her in the comments so she sees how lovely you all are”
“Aww” I grinned in spite of myself, already feeling a little better about it. “That was so sweet, Phil, thank you!”
“Nerds…” Dan whined playfully, earning a nudge from me.
“So as you can probably tell by the title of this video” The host kept saying, motioning upwards where it would appear for them. “We’re playing Whisper Challenge. Do you want to tell everyone what it is about, Y/N?”
I blushed deeply and my eyes grew wide in fear with all the attention, so I shook my head quickly.
“Nope” Hell, I was never so shy around anyone, that wasn’t fun!
“I’ll do it” I saw with the corner of my eye how the brown haired one rolled his eyes. “We’ll be putting these headphones on”
Dan tossed them in the air and caught them nimbly, showing them to the camera. He then put it over my head with a smirk only to take them off a second later.
“And we’ll make up a phrase to say to whoever wears them while very loud music plays”
“So basically we have to read each other’s lips”
Trying to loosen up, I winked at the camera after that last sentence. But right after I did I felt stupid for doing so, regretting it since it probably wasn’t even funny.
“I don’t know why I winked” I chuckled to myself, probably blushing again.
“You winked at the camera?” Dan and Phil laughed, and the first mockingly winked at it too, doing a horrible but hilarious face.
“Fudge off” I complained, shoving him a little and scowling. I was pretty much like Dan when it came to expressing myself, and I knew Phil didn’t want us to cuss on his videos.
But as a result of my resentful comment he laughed out loud. I chuckled a bit too when I realized how silly it had sounded and Phil joined me.
“Can you edit this out, Phil?” I begged him, embarrassed.
“Oh, please, don’t!” Dan sighed softly, still under the effect of the laughter. “It’s bloody brilliant!”
“Please let’s begin!” I made a goofy face on purpose and stared at the camera, taking the headphones away from Dan’s hands without averting my gaze.
I put the headphones on and glanced from Phil to Dan and back to the other.
“Let’s put some sick beats in there for you, Y/N” The latter connected them to his phone and put a song on.
“This is my jam” I tried to focus in the music and the actual game and not in the camera that was recording our silly entertainment. I just tried to pretend that I was hanging out with my friends and being silly and goofy as usual.
But it wasn’t too hard since the song was one I liked, which I was sure Dan did on purpose to help. I began singing it timidly.
I saw them moving around and pointing at each other and gesticulating, but I only paid more attention when Phil tapped on my shoulder. I turned to him, guessing he was beginning.
I squinted as I tried to read his lips, but it was so hard to. And for some reason he was smiling, which made it a bit harder. When I noticed Phil was staring expectantly I guessed he was done.
“Anne is really sharing her art?”
“I said Dan is creepily staring at us” Phil finally revealed, so I looked at my left and squealed when I saw him.
Indeed, our friend was being silly and staring at us in a weird way that startled me. I laughed a little when I realized I had basically squealed like Phil always did.
“Pass it on, Y/N” Dan took the headphones from me and grinned as he put them on.
“Um…” I pursed my lips as I tried to think of a sentence to tell Dan.
I glanced at Phil, almost seeking advice, and the adorable and pure smile he gave me reminded me how adorable he was and inspired me. I shouldn’t have anything to fear having them with me anyway.
“Phil is a real life unicorn” I tried to move my lips slowly and to enunciate a lot so Dan would have it easier.
“Aaaw” Phil placed a hand on his chest and made me smile.
Dan took a moment to think it through and then spit out what he thought he ‘heard’.
“Feel this pie unibrow?” Not only his guess, but his perplexed expression were both hilarious.
Phil and I cracked up as a result, nudging each other in laughter.
“What was it?” Our friend frowned, baffled, as he took the headphones off.
“Phil is a real life unicorn”
“Bloody hell!” He exclaimed, rolling his eyes slightly, but laughing in the end. “That is not what I heard at all”
“The unibrow part, though” I held my stomach and patted Dan’s shoulder as I kept on loosing it. “You tried”
Phil still chuckled in the background happily.
“Okay, Phil” Daniel gave him the headphones with the loud blasting music. “Your turn”
“Are you telling him?” I asked my friend, positioning myself behind them so they would have more space to be face to face.
“Dan is telling me?” Phil shouted over the sound of the music playing in his ears.
“Whoa, Phil” Dan chuckled and motioned for him to keep it low.
Phil made a face and lowly apologized, chuckling after.
The brown-haired boy then nodded his head and licked his lips as he thought of something.
“Today I am pretty moody” Dan winked an eye at the camera as an inside joke, probably in reference to his latest video in which he almost blinded himself.
I let out a loud guffaw as I got the pun. Mad-Eye moody? It was so lame that it was awesome.
“I may have tutti frutti?”
Dan cracked up with that characteristic laugh of his that always infected me with laughter as well.
“What? Oh my God, Phil!” He glanced at me and I wanted to tell him something, but I was laughing too hard.
Very excited and hopeful, the dark-haired boy took the headphones off and glanced from the camera back to us.
“Did I get it?”
“Not even close”
“Today I’m pretty moody” I repeated for Dan, earning a sad pout from Phil.
“I almost had it, though!”
“No, you didn’t, Phil!”
“Tutti frutti?”
“Shut up... Y/N, your turn”
*
When Phil turned off the camera I sighed in relief because it was finally over.
It hadn’t been as terrible as I thought, but I sure had been pretty nervous.
“You survived!” Dan patted my shoulders. “Are you okay?”
“I’m still shaking” I chuckled nervously, showing them my hands. “I’m not even joking”
“Wow” He replied, placing a friendly hand in my back. “Poor Y/N”
“Group hug!” Phil basically lunged at us in a bear hug, but it made me smile so I didn’t complain at all.
The three of us squeezed each other in that super hug, our cheeks touching and Phil squealing in content with Dan chuckling at his silliness.
“Just so you know, Y/N” The first one mumbled. “I tweeted that we were going to film a video with you and everyone was super excited”
“What?!” I urgently broke the hug, needing to pick up my phone and go over to his Twitter.
“Not only him, but so did I!” Dan cackled evilly.
I gawked in surprise and excitement and read so many positive tweets. People kept saying how eager they were to see it, begging for them to tell when it would be up, how much they loved me, how they couldn’t wait to see more of me. Whoa, I was shocked in the best way possible!
“Aw” I placed my hands in my chest, near my heart, in fondness. “You guys are so sweet…”
I hugged them again, and we lingered in that group bear hug for a while.
Hiii!! Can i have a Dan Howell imagine with the prompt number 22 or 6? Thankss ❤️❤️❤️
Dan Howell #6, 22
Let me know if you like it! xxPrompts:6. “I thought you loved me”22. “You never really loved me, did you?”
It had been months. Months of this unsure feelings and insecurity. How do you know when it is over? Did he just not find her attractive anymore? Was he bored of her? Y/N had always been someone who knew what she wanted and she had refused to hold onto people that weren’t worth her time. She never had problems with letting go, but then there was Dan. Dan Howell, he was different. Phil had introduced them 3 years ago and they had just clicked. Y/N was basically Dan and Phil mashed into one person, she could be a bundle sunshine, or she could be laying on the floor with an existential crisis. She had immediately fallen for those brown eyes, his sarcastic nature and odd sense of humor. He had accepted her for who she was and he made her feel special. He had this way of looking at her when she was talking so intently that it made her feel like she was the most important thing in the world. It had taken a year and a half of video games, take-out, youtube videos, shipping and late night talks while scrolling through tumblr before Phil pushed them together. Phil had been able to see how much they liked each other, he was the person they both went to about it. He was probably the biggest (ship name) shipper in the whole phandom, and there were a lot of people who shipped them. It was something he had always teased the two of them about ever since the first video the three of them made together and the fans started asking if she was dating Dan. After not being able to take it any longer, Phil went and confided in their friends, everyone from Zoe Sugg to Louise and PJ. They had arranged a “get together” dinner, but no one had shown, but Dan and Y/N. When they came back to the Phan flat, they saw everyone sitting there waiting expectantly. It was one of these situations where they both believed the other was too good for them, therefore, they said nothing about their feelings. When Y/N and Dan asked why they didn’t show up, everyone had exchanged looks. Y/N could still remember the exasperated look on Phil’s face when he shouted at them, “Because you love each other! You are meant to be! I see it, they see it! Why can’t you both just admit it already? I’m tired of you both coming to me to talk about it!” She knew she would forever be grateful for Phil because Dan was amazing. She loved him more than anything, but everything had changed the last 4 months. She had moved into the Phan flat 6 months ago, after their 1 year anniversary. During their anniversary date Dan had given her a box with a key, he had told her how he had talked to Phil and they wanted her to move in. Y/N couldn’t picture anything better, she was being given the chance to move in with the love of her life and her best friend. It had been great for the first two months, they were the best two months of her life, she was waking up wrapped in Dan’s arms every morning and was able to spend most of her time with them between her work. Date nights were the best because he no longer had to leave her at the door of her flat, late night talks were more personal and she felt like she was falling in love all over again. Then it seemed to change overnight. It felt like Dan was a stranger to her. There were no more late night talks, or date nights. He no longer begged her to stay in bed with him instead of going to work, he didn’t hold her as tight as he used to and affection was less frequent. They started fighting, they fought or ignored each other more than anything else. She wanted things back the way they used to be, but maybe her effort wasn’t enough. A voice in her head taunted her, maybe she wasn’t what he needed anymore. Couples grow apart and fall out of love. How much longer could she keep fighting for someone who didn’t seem to want to be fought for? Her heart ached and she knew that it couldn’t just go back to normal. She was tired. She was tired of fighting. She was tired of arguing over little things, tired of waking up alone and sad. She was tired of putting Phil in the middle and relying on him to hold her as she cried. It wasn’t fair. Phil Lester was one of the happiest, most caring and lovable people in the world. He didn’t deserve to be put in such a situation, he shouldn’t have to choose between his two best friends. She couldn’t continue to fight with Dan about them or whether they had changed or not. She had to let go. No matter how much she loved him, she couldn’t do this anymore.
Y/N stood up from the bed she shared with Dan and grabbed her bag out of their closet. With tears in her eyes she started packing some of her things that she knew she would need. She only had two hours before Dan and Phil were to come home from Radio 1. It took a lot of restraint and tears, but she only grabbed the necessities and stopped herself from taking anything that was Dan’s or would remind her of Dan. If she was going to do this she knew she had to do it while she had the strength. Y/N took one last look around the room knowing it would be the last time she saw it until she would be able to get the rest of her stuff. She didn’t know when she could be able to and so much of that stuff were things she shared with Dan. He could have most of it, she didn’t want memories of how the best thing in her life changed. It was a room that held so many memories, her favourite place in the flat. She had persuaded Dan to make a collage of memories and put it on the wall when she first moved in. It held the fondest memories in their relationship from photos of her, Dan and Phil, to photos with fans and pictures from a photobooth. This was where they had their first time together, where they made their first video together and where they spent hours laying in bed talking about their future together. Y/N hadn’t even realized she was crying for the second time today until she felt the wetness on her cheek and felt a few tears drop onto her shirt. She quickly tried to wipe them off and compose herself before walking out of the room she used to share. Dan and Phil had just entered the flat as Y/N walked out of Dan’s room and down the hall. They both stopped in their tracks seeing her with a suitcase and solemn look on her face. Her make-up was slightly smudged and she looked tired. Phil just knew right away what was happening and his heart sank. Despite everything he had hope they could get through this. He had spent the last three years watching them slowly, but surely fall in love. Dan had never looked at anyone the way he looked at Y/N and though Dan had been a spork, or better yet an ass recently, he knew Dan was still in love with Y/N. He hated seeing how much Dan’s actions had hurt Y/N, but every time he confronted Dan about it, he would avoid the situation. Dan wasn’t even willing to tell him what was wrong and as much as it annoyed Phil, he accepted it. He tried to encourage Dan to be himself again and confront the issue, but he couldn’t force him to. Phil loved having Y/N around so much because she evened them out, she reminded them to be their best and she supported them no matter what. She kept them grounded and if there had ever been a moment where it seemed like the youtube fame had gone to their head, she knocked sense into them. She adored the phandom, even when they said bad things about her. She had a heart of gold and she deserved the world. She may have been the strongest person he had ever known, she could only handle so much and he could see this was slowly breaking her down. He wished she could stay, he wished it hadn’t come to this and they could just forget. But he also understood that she was hurting, he held her enough as she cried over Dan and he knew that she couldn’t take much more. She knew her self-worth and no matter how much she loved Dan, she needed certain things in a relationship and she hadn’t received anything the last few months. It wasn’t healthy for any of them to go on like this. She hadn’t smiled as much the last 4 months, she didn’t glow the way she used to. He wanted Y/N to be happy again, he wanted her smile back and if leaving would make her happy, he would respect it, even if he didn’t like it. It was awkward. Everything was quiet as they all looked at each other. Dan and Phil both still wearing their shoes, still damp from the rain as they stared at Y/N as she held her bags feeling uncomfortable, with her shoes on. It was obvious that she was leaving. Dan was confused as he looked at her. She hadn’t told him she was going anywhere, yet she was standing right in front of him, holding her bags, her make-up smudge giving the impression she had cried at some point and she was avoiding looking at him. It almost felt like he was punched in the gut when the situation finally sunk in and he was unable to breathe. Panic set in as he opened and closed his mouth a few times. She was leaving. This was the love of his life, the girl who made his heart beat really fast, the one who understood him like no other and made him feel loved. The one he knew he couldn’t live without. “Where are you going?” His voice sounded odd to him. He couldn’t help but wonder if she saw the panic in his eyes as he spoke and if she noticed how hard it was for him to get the words out. “I think we both already know the answer to that, Dan.” Her voice, as beautiful as it was sounded distant and cold. He could see the heartbreak in her beautiful (Y/E/C) eyes and it was something he never wanted to see. “No. No I don’t.” He denied it. He had to deny it, he couldn’t face the truth. He refused to. Maybe if he denied it enough she would stay. “I’m leaving. I’m leaving you, Dan.” Her voice seemed to waver and he saw tears in her eyes. His heart seemed to fall to his feet at her words and he could almost hear it shattering in his ears. “Why?” The words fell from his lips and he immediately regret it. He knew why. He had been a terrible boyfriend. He had spent nights listening to her cry herself to sleeping knowing it was because of him and he did nothing. He let his fear, insecurities and the hate get to him. All this time he kept thinking that she would wake up one day and realize he wasn’t enough for her, or realize she could do better. He gave in to the side of him that believed the things people were saying about her; him not deserving her, her loving Phil, her using him and that she would never love him for him. She was leaving him because of him. He could finally see the broken pieces in her eyes. He finally understood how much he hurt her, it took him this long to realize how much she actually loved him. This was the first time she had ever completely threw down her guard and it was the first time he ever saw tears slide down her cheeks. He finally saw how much his actions affect her and these last few months had pushed it too far. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be with you anymore. I can’t even call this being with you, because for 4 months we haven’t even actually been together.” She finally let out the words she had been holding in for weeks. She couldn’t hold in the tears not matter how hard she tried and she could feel the wall she spent years building crumble apart. “I can change.” His words shocked her, she didn’t want him to change. She loved him for him and if he changed, he wouldn’t be Dan. She didn’t want him to fake something for her just because she was falling apart in front of him. “No. Don’t. We can’t keep forcing something that’s not there. I can’t keep doing this. All we do is fight and it is exhausting both of us. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.” Both of their hearts broke a little more at her words. Dan hated the way she said it. She had to still love him, didn’t she? Forcing something that’s not there? They had to still love each other. She had to still love him. “I thought you loved me. I thought you would fight for us, you promised you would always fight for us.” His voice sounded hollow to everyone in the room. “IT’S HARD TO FIGHT FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T WANT TO BE FOUGHT FOR.” Her voice echoed throughout the room making everyone speechless. Y/N was never one to raise her voice. “Dan, I’ve spent 4 months fighting. I promised to fight for us, I just never promised to fight you. I’m tired of the sleepless nights. I’m tired of fighting with you, tired of crying and feeling weak. I never believed in love until I met you and you gave me hope. I actually believed in a happily ever after. I miss how it used to be. I miss playing video games while cuddling and our date nights. I miss the stupid youtube videos we made together, where I spent 90% of the time looking at you in awe. I miss our conversations late at night. I don’t know what happened to us and I don’t know what changed in your head or why, but I can’t live like this. I just can’t.” His heart felt heavier with each world. He loved her so much and she was right. They couldn’t live like this, but he didn’t want her to leave either. “I love you.” In that moment she saw how panicked Dan was behind him tear filled eyes. Her heart ached as she wondered if possibly the fans were right and she was just a phase. Maybe he had just grown used to her and relied on her. What if he relied on her so much he didn’t know how to live without her and that is why he stayed? Maybe those three little words weren’t true. She had been nothing, but kind to the Phandom and yet there were still some that were incredibly cruel. She had been able to ignore them as long as she had Dan, but recently someone of the comments had been able to get through her stone wall as it cracked. “That’s the thing Dan, recently I’m not sure if you actually do.” Dan looked like she just slapped him across the face. “What?” He barely breathed the words in his shock. Did she seriously doubt that he loved her? “Maybe the fans were right, maybe we are two people who confused lust with love. I never questioned if you loved me until it felt like you didn’t. Is what they are saying true? Did you just rely on me too much to let me go, or did you just need a distraction and I was the perfect person to do that? Was I just a prop to show that Phan isn’t real? Was I just a challenge to you and once I finally fell in love with you, you realized I wasn’t what you wanted and you were done? You never really loved me, did you?” Dan had never really seen the hate or comments his fans made get to her, but now he could see how much it wore her down. She was just as insecure about it as him, yet she had believed in him and tried not to let it control her. She had been strong enough to ignore it, she ignored it for him. His actions made her doubt and he hurt her. “Y/N, love please it isn’t like that at all. I love you, I swear.” She shakes her head as she tried to get past them, but Dan wouldn’t let her and he tries to wrap his arms around her. Y/N jerked away like he burned her. “Maybe you don’t. Maybe this whole time you’ve loved the idea of me. The idea of a girlfriend who gets along with most of the fans, one who is friends with Phil and can handle what you do. I don’t know anymore. The only thing I know is I can’t do this. I can’t keep ripping myself apart for you.” “Please” Never had Phil or Y/N heard Dan sound so broken. Dan stepped towards her and cupped her face before bringing his lips to hers. He wasn’t sure if he did it in hopes that the feeling would make her stay or because he needed to do it one last time. The familiar tingling and butterflies was there mixed with both of their salty tears. Y/N quickly pulls away and steps back leaving Dan standing there looking heartbroken. “I am so sorry” Her voice came out as a whisper before she spun around and ran to the door. “Y/N.” Phil panicked and started trying to get her to come back. She was too emotional to drive, but he couldn’t leave Dan alone while he chased after his best friend. Dan looked so heartbroken as he fell to the floor in desperate sobs. He lost her.
