I do have a question:
cw (please ignore this if you are not feeling up to it): threats of violence, or at least creating a violent environment while still not physically harming anyone; as well as mentions of emotional and psychological abuse in the general sense.
Does it count as violence when someone slams doors in a rage, or threatens to smash things on the floor? I am pretty sure it does, or at least is a weird grey-area between psychological abuse and threatening physical abuse. Like, most of the time it was just* psychological and emotional abuse that cycled through, but some rare and specific episodes it came to applying physical force to inanimate objects (or threatening it) as well.
*It is not lost on me how messed up this looks.
On a lighter note, thank you so much for everything you write about, it has helped me a lot. The lists you make are straightforward, informative, and are honestly very validating. And then a lot of the paragraph-based posts you make are just... really helpful.
Firstly, hank you so much for putting up all of the content warnings! That is a very responsible and considerate way to talk about distressing topics, and not a lot of people remembers to do it.
Secondly, you're right, it does! Slamming a door, threatening to break things or coming close to breaking something/hitting you, is a form a physical intimidation, threat, and a sure way to let you know that this person really, REALLY wants to hurt you! They're saying "give me any excuse, and it will be you next. Disobey and it will be your head next."
It's terrifying, and a tactics of control. This will make sure you're aware that violence is very close, and that if you make one wrong step, they're ready to seriously injure you. It will also cause long-term anxiety if you have to keep living with this person, because now you know they absolutely want to hurt you. It will not feel safe living next to them, and it will again, cause you to walk on glass around them, in fear you might provoke them, and you will not dare to say no or to establish any boundaries anymore, in fear of violence.
This is abusive, and very common tactics of people who want to gain control via terrorism of their family members, to keep their housemates in fear without overtly doing anything criminal. Physical intimidation and threats are harder to prove or justify as an abusive act, so it's very pervasive! But it is an act of abuse, and I'm so sorry you've been subjected to it. It had to feel awful. The aura of people who do it always feels murderous. Normal people don't do this.
Thank you for all of your kind comments! I'm so glad my writings are helpful.
