#pie rant

[satonpie]

Why am I so shy to talk to anyone ever on here?? I always feel like . Too inadequate and Weird ™️ to be liked this SUCKS!!!

Sorry to sad post on horny so much lately, I’ve been feeling so weird since the gender stuff…

[lazicepie]

Anyways. Also thinking about eldritch horrors. And just how much can I actually breach into psychological horror, but just with, an actual entity. Like imagine the angels from evangellion, yeah hmm. I don't know if I would classify them as elritch horrors since the most of them are relatively comprehensible to my little inhuman brain. Giant polygonal thing that shoot lazar beams? Uh. Yeah that makes sense.

{ minor kirby spoiler below? }

However. Cosmic horror. That's fun.

Because my little brain has not developed enough to actually comprehend the size of the earth. Like whatttt? I travel a few km on foot everyday and it's so little distance like sand on a beach?! And you just expect me to look up at the suddenly changed sky of gaussian blurred red cloud of ??? and not question how it would look if it was actually visible to me? Oh boy! What about dimensional horrors? Something beyond our current dimension can hide in a whole other dimension and not bother with me, or they can and I wouldn't know!! They could flip me ??? and I would. ???

Like uh, popstar galaxy from kirby, Zero perhaps. ??? Giant fucking eyeball that's the embodiment of negative feelings that can only be defeated by positive emotions?!! Wow! Incomprehensible!

[littlemystolemypie]

going for my french test wish my luck guys :’))

[satonpie]

Okey I really need to sort this whole gender thing out genuinely

Does wanting to be a girl but only for sexy horny kinky stuff is that fetishizing? Am I fetishizing . Being a girl? Because I think??? I’m genderfluid but I really only feel ‘girl’ in the context of like horny fantasies and stuff . Like I really want a pussy but only so it can be eaten out and it makes me feel so so so so so icky because am I really genderfluid or am I just Hypersexual to the point where I just wanna experience everything? Fuuuuck man

[satonpie]

Wtf? What is this? Why? I’m not getting a new phone just to use Tumblr this is BS

[lazicepie]

<- trans.

Alright with that established. Hi, I'm Lazice Pie. And I had been dysphoric about my voice for shit knows how long. And me, at the prime and delicate and mind blastingly weird brain at 14, seeked for a better voice. Because any voice that is unfamiliar to my own, were seen as better at the time.

There had been various results, biding with a strange persistence that I can never achieve now, I have a pretty decent range, though I'd never be able to compete with a trans-woman opera singer, I can at least lower my voice by pure sheer fucking will, to that speech I'll be able to decieve as if I'm a cis guy for a sentence. Though that's a whole ass tensing nya.

You see. Yet for all this time, I was still in my comfortable range for almost all of my day to day speakings, with exceptions being role-calls, and one off interactions with like shop employees. Though this range variates with who fronts (source: source samples, double in booyaa!.) it's still all within this flesh prison's physical muscles.

LIKE. I CAN'T JUST NOT SHOW WHAT I MEAN FOR Y'ALL.

BUT what I'm trying to say for ALL of This.

The results of my voice training made me a cartoon character.

[lazicepie]

AHAHAHAHA. I AM OKAY!!!! ALL I'VEEE LOST IS THIS ONE LITTLE THING THAT I NEED!!!!@ I'LL JUST HAVE TO CHECK THE SECOND PLACE. TOMORROW. COM'ONNN PIE. YOU'RE NOT LOSING THAT THING TO MERE INCOMPETENCE!!!! IT IS YOUR ONLY ONE. AND KIRBY FUCKS IS IT EXPENSIVE!!!!! :DDDDDDDDD

[littlemystolemypie]

KNOWING THAT MOOMINVALLEY SEASON THREE IS DROPPING SOON JUST CURED MY FUCKING DEPRESSION