#pine tree cities

[askaphmaine]

Maine: What did you do at the meeting today?

Augusta: Learned about dragons.

Maine: You all learned about dragons?

Augusta: I learned about dragons. I don't know what everybody else was doing.

[askaphmaine]

Maine: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad. I just want to know.

Lewiston: I did. I broke it…

Maine: No. No, you didn’t. Portland?

Portland: Don’t look at me. Look at Augusta.

Augusta: What?! I didn’t break it.

Portland: Huh. That’s weird. How did you even know it was broken?

Augusta: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

Portland: Suspicious.

Augusta: No, it’s not!

Bangor: If it matters, probably not… Cape was the last one to use it.

Cape Elizabeth: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

Bangor: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Cape Elizabeth: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Bangor!

Lewiston: Alright let’s not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Maine.

Maine: No. Who broke it?

Peeks Island: [whispering] Maine, South’s been awfully quiet…

South Portland: Really?!

Peeks Island: Yeah, really!

…

Maine: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now, they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

[askaphmaine]

Portland: Told Houston I like him. He said he’s unsure and needs to think about his feelings for me

Augusta: How long has he been thinking?

Portland: 3 years

(Source: Twitter)

[askaphmaine]

Augusta: Maine, remember how you said if I used a chainsaw unsupervised I’d hurt myself? Well, you were wrong. I hurt someone else.

(Source: The Simpsons)

[askaphmaine]

Augusta: PORTLAND, FUCK OFF. AND BY FUCK OFF I MEAN FUCK OFF RIGHT BACK HERE AND LISTEN, YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK.

(Source: Homestuck)

[askaphmaine]

New Hampshire, to Maine: So where you from? Heaven?

Portland: Yeah, she's a ghost. She died fifteen years ago, just like that pickup line.

(Source: How I Met Your Mother)

[askaphmaine]

Portland: Do you realize we haven't argued for 15 seconds?

Augusta: It was 20, shut up.

(Source: Saved by the Bell)

[askaphmaine]

Portland: Have a safe trip!

Augusta: I have no say in the matter.

Portland: Die then.