“Albany, we need to talk.” Albany glanced up at New York in concern. He couldn’t think of anything that he had done to warrant such a serious tone. Had New York found out about him locking NYC out last week? Even then, that was a common occurrence between the two.
“Of course, Lance. Is everything alright?” New York sighed, adjusting his glasses.
“Due to various...circumstances, you’ll be attending another meeting as a New York representative.” Albany nodded.
“Alright. Who will I be meeting with? And will I be getting an actual reason for the choice?” He watched New York’s normally calm demeanor vanish, replaced with nervous movements and a distinct lack of eye contact.
“You’ll be attending a Maine state meeting. Everyone, other than Maine herself, think they should be more open in meeting with people from other states.” Silence. Albany slowly folding his hands in front of his face, feeling dread rise up. Maine meetings were notorious for refusing outsiders. No one had ever met any of the representatives, outside of Maine, Augusta, and, rarely, Portland. Hell, no one was even sure when they occured. Augusta and Maine gave no information and became even more closed off when asked. Portland just laughed.
“I see. Well, if nothing else, it will be an interesting experience.”
When he agreed to the meeting, Albany assumed it was a joke or trick. He thought that he’d show up to an empty capital building and would just go home. So when a brunette girl with blue-green eyes approached him, he wasn’t sure how to react.
“Bonjour! Are you the representative from Albany? I’m Ena! If you would follow me, we can finally start the meeting!” With a kind smile, Ena lead him through the building, past what appeared to be a shop, and up a set of stairs before stopping at a pair of doors. “Word of advice, whatever you hear, just roll with it.” She patted his arm. “Alright, chaton de- Oops!” She giggled. “Ignore that!” As she pushed the doors open, Albany winced at the sudden yelling.
“Cape! Tell Bangor to go suck a dick!” A short-haired girl waved her hand towards an equally furious man.
“Cape! Tell Bath to grow the fuck up!” Ena ignored the two, turning back to him.
“I know I introduced myself as Ena but I’m the representative of Cape Elizabeth. Please, just call me Cape!” She turned back to the various teens yelling over each other. “Where’s Augusta? Shouldn’t he be running the meeting?” A tan boy sitting near the front snorted.
“Where do you think, Cape. Asleep behind the desk up front.”
“Thank you, Lewiston.” Cape walked up to the large desk facing the representatives. Calmly, she shoved the chair in, eliciting a loud yell from behind it. The tan boy, Lewiston, made no attempt to hide his laughter, though a much louder laugh easily overpowered him. As Albany glanced towards the sound, it spoke.
“Cher petit frère, le temps de se réveiller! Votre chaton est en visite! [Dear little brother, time to wake up! Your kitten is visiting!]” Portland slammed his hand down, roaring with laughter. Glancing at the desk, Albany noticed Augusta finally standing up.
“Ne l'appelle pas comme ça. [Don’t call him that.]” He sighed as the rest of the Mainers shared a smirk. “Okay, okay, let’s get to work. Albany, sit where ever you want. Hell, you can shove Portland out of his seat if you want.” Cape smacked the shorter boy upside the head.
“Non! Do not drag poor Albany into your silly infighting! He can sit by me.” Cape motioned him to follow her as she went to sit beside Portland.
“Alright, alright. Where were we? Before Portland got annoying.”
“Portland’s always been annoying!” Leaning forward, Albany glanced down at the girl sitting beside the aforementioned boy. She caught his eye, turning to fully face him with a grin. “South Portland. No, I was never part of Portland. I was part of Cape Elizabeth, chaton de Aaron.” Albany gave her a questioning look, which she pointedly ignored. He had never heard of an ‘Aaron’ and didn’t really speak any French, so he wasn’t sure what she had called him, though it was the third time someone had referred to him as ‘chaton’.
“As much as I agree with your comment on Portland, South, can you please shut the hell up?” Augusta hissed, dropping into his seat with a hand over his face. “Est-ce que les idiots ne peuvent pas me taquiner maintenant? [Can you idiots not tease me right now?] And can someone please give me a real answer?”
“The merge.” Augusta threw his hands up.
“Merci! Thank you! Who said that?”
“Calais.” The group chorused.
“Good, still pissing off the French with that name, by the way.” The boy in the back gave a thumbs up. Albany slowly raised his hand. Cape leaned over, giving him a concerned smile.
“Chaton de Aaron, what are you doing?”
“I, uh, have a question?”
“Soooooo ask it?” South leaned past Portland, the duo sharing a confused look. He blinked, slowly lowering his hand and glancing at Augusta.
“Just shout it out?” Augusta groaned slightly.
“Well, yeah. That’s what we all do, chaton.” Augusta suddenly spun around, pointing at the group, who looked ready to riot at the word. “NOT A WORD, YOU FUCKS!”
“Um, what’s the merge about?” Cape blinked.
“Oh, um, the twin cities of Auburn and Lewiston are voting on whether or not they should become a single city.” She explained.
“It’s not the first time it’s come up.” Augusta continued. “They’re already jointly referred to as LA, like the city in California.” Albany nodded.
“Oh, alright. Thank you.” He glanced over at Lewiston, who looked beyond annoyed.
“Yeah, can we not?” He called out, giving a redheaded girl a glare. Albany noted her nameplate stated ‘Auburn’. “Can it be thrown the fuck out? I refuse to live with her. She’s a big enough annoyance across the river. I’d rather die than be stuck with her every day.”
“Why you little-!” As the girl threw her chair back, Augusta used a gravel to regain everyone’s attention.
“No fighting. You break it, you fix it. Lewiston, I recognize your request and I agree.” With that, he threw the papers into the air, spinning in his chair. Albany felt his mouth drop open. Weren’t they going to discuss anything? This so called ‘meeting’ was complete anarchy!
“You okay, chaton de Aaron?” Portland questioned, leaning over to close his mouth.
“Are...are you all taking this seriously? I mean, shouldn’t you been discussing things? None of you seem to care at all!” He looked around wildly. “In New York, everything is discussed, no matter how small!” Cape gave a small whistle.
“Well, you aren’t in New York right now, are you, chaton de Aaron?” Bath hissed, slowly rising. Bangor adjusted his glasses.
“She’s right. You’re in Maine now, chaton de Aaron.”
“My name is Albany, you know.”
“Oh, we know.” Portland smirked, glancing up at the Maine capital.
“Mon chéri, what Bath and Bangor are trying to say is-” Cape tried to speak, only to be talked over.
“What I’m tryin’ to say is, no, we really don’t care.” Bath stuck her tongue out at Cape’s glare.
“Mon amour, our people decide what happens, not us.” Augusta explained, laying his head down on his arms. “These meetings just serve as a way for Maine, bless her bitchy and family-loving nature, to force us to spend time together. We don’t take it seriously at all.” For the first time during the meetings duration, the room was completely silent.
“What...what did you just call him?” Portland yelled out as multiple people fell out of their seats due to laughter. If a riot was going to happen before, it was happening now. Augusta hid his face, audibly screaming into his arms. Albany rubbed his face.
“In English, please!” He finally snapped, glaring at everyone. Portland snorted.
“We may be laughing and making fun of him but don’t be fooled. We respect and care about Augusta a lot more than we care about your feelings. Augusta can translate when he feels like it. Je ne suis pas sur le point de gâcher sa confession et je me battrai contre quiconque tentera. [I'm not about to ruin his confession and I'll fight anyone who tries.]”
“J'aiderai. Donc, personne n'est autorisé à traduire. Cela comprend vous, Ena. Je t'aime comme nous, nous ne sommes pas si cruels. [I'll help. So no one is allowed to translate. That includes you, Ena. Love you as we do, we're not that cruel.]” Lewiston continued, giving Portland a nod. Cape just rolled her eyes.
“Eh bien, je n'avais pas prévu de le lui dire. [Well, I wasn't planning on telling him.]”
“I’m not kidding about the English thing.”
“We know, chaton de Aaron. We-” A door slammed open.
“Oh, you’re all still here? I assumed you’d all be gone, leaving Aaron asleep somewhere.” Albany felt his mouth go dry. Maine herself strode forward, seemingly not noticing him. “Why haven’t you all fled? I mean, that’s not a bad thing but-”
“Yes, Ena?” Cape pointed at Albany as the taller woman turned. “Oh, hello. You’re Albany, yeah?” He nodded. “Well, I hope they treated you okay.”
“Who’s Aaron?” He blurted, causing a few people to choke on their drinks. Maine simply raised an eyebrow.
“What were they saying?” She calmly demanded.
“Um, chaton de Aaron?” She snorted, looking around.
“Really? Really?” She spun around, just in time to watch Augusta slide under the desk. “REALLY?”
“Um, miss?” She spun back around, looking amused. “What does that mean? And who is Aaron?”
“Augusta is Aaron. Google the rest. If you all want to tease someone, do so when they can’t hear you. Any other questions, Albany?”
“No, I’ll just try and google everything.”
“BIEN BAISE-MOI! DEVINEZ, JE VAIS MOURIR! [WELL FUCK ME! GUESS I'LL DIE!]” Augusta yelled from his hiding place.
“Actually, how about I translate. What all do you want to know?” Maine smirked, much to Albany’s fear.
“Um, ‘chaton de Aaron’, ‘mon chéri’, and ‘mon amour’?”
“‘Chaton’ means ‘kitten’. They’re calling you ‘Aaron’s kitten’. ‘Mon chéri’ means ‘honey’. It’s a common thing for us to call people. And I’m sorry, what was that last one?” Maine leaned forward, watching Albany carefully.
“Mon amour? Augusta called me that and everyone went crazy.”
“Unsurprising. I’ll give Augusta five hours to translate it himself before I do it. Meeting adjourned” With that, she left the room, followed by most of the representatives. Ena, paused, motioning for him to wait.
“You might want to hang around.” She whispered before glancing at the desk and grabbing both Portlands, dragging the two outside, scolding them. Albany slowly walked over to the desk. Standing in front of it, he shifted slightly.
“Albany, I know you’re still here. Can you come over?” Albany swallowed thickly. He moved around it, leaning down to look in the leg area. As he did, he felt something soft press to his lips. Jumping back, he watched Augusta climb out, bright red and rubbing his mouth against his arm. “Does that translate it enough?” The smaller capital moved quickly to leave, though he barely got anywhere before Albany grabbed him.
“No, I don’t think it did. Perhaps you can translate it again for me?” Augusta stuttered, taking half a step closer to the taller boy.
“HELL YEAH! OBTENEZ QUEL, PETIT FRÈRE! [HELL YEAH! GET SOME, LITTLE BROTHER!]”
“FUCK OFF, PORTLAND!” Augusta spun around, waving his fist at the other city. Watching Cape try to keep the two from murdering each other, Albany sighed happily. He would never understand the Mainers.
