general ethan nakamura hcs ✧ ethan x gn!reader
genre. sfw / fluff + obligatory angst that comes with all ethan fics #sorry
✧ ethan is mature in the sense that he always sees the bigger picture.
✧ people tend to go to him when they need an argument mediated
✧ ethan will always, albeit reluctantly (he's still a little socially lost, okay?), help whenever he can
✧ however, ethan is immature in the sense he believes everything can be solved with equal outcome
✧ he can become blind to the nuance of it in the name of fairness
✧ ethan usually knows when to stop, when the bite is bigger than he can chew. but there's just those moments that leave him stumped— if this person did this to you, why can't you do it back? it all boils down to moral reasoning. ethan's morals are good, but his execution is certainly questionable.
✧ i stand by idea that ethan is NOT an introvert. he is an ambivert !! . ethan is also a liiitle bit awkward. more so than the average teenage boy. words don't come naturally to him, but it's not like he doesn't want to speak. he does— gods he does. he just has trouble putting his exact thoughts into words.
✧ branching on that idea, ethan is very blunt
✧ even with his partner! this man is honest, but not brutally so.
✧ ethan with his partner isn't some fairytale 'grumpy becomes soft'. sure, he's less likely to call you stupid, but he will absolutely call you stupid if he deems it necessary.
✧ however, because ethan isn't the best with words, he has to find other ways to show his love
✧ he is the BIGGEST acts of service/quality time kind of guy
✧ don't get me wrong he will cherish every gift you give him. it doesn't matter how stupid or ugly the thing looks, he WILL wear it. just try him bro there's literally only 2 things he won't wear and that's the color lime green and adidas merch
✧ he gives you gifts on special occasions but he's kinda bad at it. his gifts compromise of either just generic things or something you mentioned passively once.
✧ it's usually the things he does for you to make you feel loved
✧ after a long day of training, you find your body sore and aching. it was a damn difficult duel, going against the percy jackson himself!
✧ you'd say you held your own pretty well — but not without sustaining your own injuries , because that's percy jackson for you.
✧ buuuut then you remembered you had been assigned stable clean up before the day ended
✧ great, another chore.
✧ but upon arriving to your stables, you find pretty much everything tended to. there wasn't a thing eft to do for you.
✧ ethan isn't there, but you know him well enough to know that he was the one behind it.
✧ ethan doesn't need recognition for the things he does for you. seeing you well rested the next day is more than enough for him.
✧ slightly related — ethan is a neat freak
✧ he would literally kill anyone trying to mess with his space in the hermes cabin. he has the CLEANESTTT space in that cabin.
✧ it's okay if it's you though, just make sure to put it back, ok? <3
✧ oh gosh
✧ let me get into tender moments with ethan
✧ it takes a while for him to be comfortable with intimacy
✧ not a shocker but he's not big on PDA
✧ mainly because he believes that of all people, he is the one who deserves you the least
✧ why would he accept and so brazenly show off your affections if he doesn't even deserve it?
✧ you, so warm and forgiving and he, the son of revenge? it sounds just as unlikely as it feels
✧ he REQUIRES comfort. he'd hate to say it but he needs you to reassure him physically and verbally.
✧ tell him how beautiful he is, tell him how proud you are of him, tell him that everything he does is worth a thousand universes and more
✧ please recognize his efforts. he does so much that goes unseen it's actually crazy
✧ spoon him. doesn't matter if you're big spoon or little spoon. when you big spoon, he feels like it's okay to be human sometimes. he doesn't need to be the perfect balance of a demigod and a mortal— he can just be ethan. when you little spoon, it's like giving him the trust to protect you no matter what you guys face. giving him your vulnerability and trusting him with it.
✧ even then, it would be hard for him to believe. he's pretty insecure, especially about his physical appearance — he doesn't like his missing eye when he thinks about you. usually he doesn't care about it all that much, but he's afraid you'll find it gross, maybe leave him for someone with two working eyes.
✧ KISS HIS EYEPATCH. he melts. he'll cry (he probably won't, but maybe after a really difficult day he might). kissing his eye patch is his achilles heel. no need for a dip in the river styx when he has you, making a weak spot only you have access to
✧ love is such a concept to him
✧ he gets it but he doesn't
✧ it's just hard. loving ethan nakamura will be hard
✧ the constant reassurance can tire you out, because how much can you say before you start sounding like a broken record?
✧ his absolute insistence on balance and fairness will undoubtedly become grating at some point
✧ then comes the occasional absences that soon become far too frequent.
✧ he won't tell you why. it's like he's put up walls between you two.
✧ you accuse him of so many things, because you have not an inkling of what he does when you're not around. what else are you supposed to think when all he does is deny but never explain?
✧ if it's not anything, then what is it? he's just lying at this point...
✧ it's awful. it hurts. it hurts him just as much as it hurts you. he can see how badly you want to understand, but he's simply not letting you in
✧ but then comes the day where it's too late to let you in
✧ when the secrets already out
✧ and the only one who isn't angry at him — but rather betrayed — is you.
✧ the only one who ever took the time to see him and love him and cherish him to make him feel like a real person... doesn't recognize him anymore
✧ you claim not to know ethan after finding out
✧ it kills him on the inside, it really does
✧ because he so badly wants you to know he still loves you, he still kept all the bracelets and the necklaces and the patches for the holes in his shirt. he kept every piece of you because he knew he's lost you
✧ he wants to scream and shout but nothing comes out. it's just him and all the memories of what he once had
✧ he realizes his insistence on balance backfired on him. he weighed too heavily into one side and now he's lost it all
✧ though do know that no matter what
✧ he loves you.
✧ even as he stands on the opposite side of the battle, he loves you
✧ and as he falls, the voices in his head dull. it's just yours, and all the things you've said to him. the soft words of appreciation, the gentleness of your recognition. he internalizes it all, even months later. in the last moments of his life, he believes you. he finally feels peace.
but you live. you're forced to mourn the loss of your first and last love not only once, as you walked out of his life,
but twice as you watch him hit the ground.
