Janus paused, staring a moment at human skin on the back of his right hand and the faint blue lines pulsating beneath the skin. It was sharp contrast to the olive-y scales that covered the other half of his body. He sighed glanced away for a moment before taking another breath and going back to peeling the loosen scales from his middle arm.
"Whatcha thinkin' about, Jan-Jan?"
Janus half glanced over his shoulder to where Remus sat, dutifully avoiding eye contact and carefully peeling Janus's back. "Nothing," he answered.
"Good thing you're not wearing pants," Remus taunted. "They'd have gone up in flames with that one!"
Janus sighed. "Remus-"
"I'm just saying no one sighs 15 times in 20 minutes and not have something on their mind. Hold still, let me get behind your ear."
Janus sighed yet again and let Remus pushed his head down to clear away the shed skin there. "No, I suppose they don't."
"You can tell me to stick a sock in, but I know you better than to believe you when you say nothing's wrong, Janus."
He almost sighed again, but stopped himself. He didn't want to add to Remus's count. "Since when are you so insightful?" He questioned, a biting edge to his voice. A hand rubbed up and down his spine, and Janus tilted sideways, knowing Remus would catch him.
"We both know the answer to that," Remus answered softly. "What's wrong, Jan-Jan?"
"You're going to make fun of me."
"I'm gonna make fun of you whether you tell me or not, you little tree snake. Might as well spill the beans."
Janus chuckled faintly, his head still rested on Remus shoulder. "I suppose that's true. I don't like my skin. And it's bothering me more tonight than usual."
"Well, that makes sense. You're shedding-"
"No. The human skin. I don't like the human skin. It feels...wrong. Like an ill fitting costume." He tilted one of his left hands back and forth on the dim light of the cave and watched the light dance across the slightly iridescent scales. "These are beautiful. This?" He held up a right hand next to it. "This dull. It's like a mask I didn't want to be given. It's constraining. I don't like it."
"I do," Remus replied. "I like both sides of you."
"Of course you do. You're my best friend, you're obligated to say those sorts if things."
"I'm also not a liar," Remus retorted with a smirk. "When have I ever done any of that softening the truth for other people's feelings?"
Janus smiled faintly. "Fair enough, I suppose."
Remus kissed his head. "You ready for me to skin for face?"
Janus rolled his eyes. "So much for that touching moment."
Remus giggled and lightly jabbed Janus in the ribs. "Lay down so I can pull your eye out too."
Janus scowled. "I'm so glad I have such a thoughtful friend to help me with this uncomfortable experience," he deadpanned and laid down with his head in Remus lap.
"Lucky too!" Remus chirped "Now hold still, Two-Face."
Janus closed his eyes and tried not to think as Remus peeled back a layer of scales and use scissors to carefully separate it from his human skin. Deep in his chest there was an ache and he wished the scissors were not necessary. The unpleasant snipping sound aside, it would just be better if all of him was scaled. Perhaps it would look monstrous to some, but to him, they were beautiful.
It wasn't that he saw the human half of himself as ugly, he was very fond of his similarities to his Whole, but perhaps it was the distance that Thomas had put between them that made it feel...like those features didn't truly belong to him.
The thought made him frown. He didn't want to lose his scales if Thomas accepted him. To Janus his scales were a reflection of his purpose, his human side was a disguise of it. He loved Thomas and loved his connection to him, but the human half of his face, the side that looked most like Thomas, was uncomfortable to look at some days. Janus sighed. He doubted it was something he'd every fully be able to put into words.
He opened his eyes, suddenly noticing the lack of the sound of scissors. Remus looked on him with a gentle expression.
"Just waiting for you to be ready for your eye."
"What would I do without you?"
"You're clever enough, you'd figure something out. Or. Yknow, just get infected shed build up and have to find someone else to skin you. Ready?"
"Not really, but if I must be."
Remus carefully held Janus's eye open by the outer edge and found the edge of the eye cap on inner corner and peeled it out with practiced ease.
Janus let out the breath he'd been holding in his chest and Remus thumbed little circles on his temple.
