System mapping is the process of making a model of your system in some way.
Many systems make system maps. A system list is a system map in one of its simplest forms, but there are a lot of other kinds of system maps that people might make to get more information. Some system maps might show internal structure and lines of communication. Some show relationships or opinions. Some show common themes and differences between system members. Etc.
There's really no wrong way to make a map. What matters is that the map is useful to you- it should give you information that helps you work with your system better. It might give you a better understanding of why your system works the way it does, or it might tell you who might need support or who might need to work on establishing communication.
Communication
Sometimes, it can be useful to map out who in your system can talk to whom. This is a very simple kind of map to make, and it gives you useful information about your system that ranges from "huh, these two can't reach each other" to "there's a gap here- are we missing someone?"
Lay out every known system member on a piece of paper. If two people can talk to each other, draw a line between them. If the communication is one-way only, draw an arrow. If two people can't reach each other, don't connect them. If two people can reach each other indirectly but you don't know who's linking them together like that, draw a line with a gap in it.
You might also add dotted lines for weak or unreliable communication, or other kinds of lines for other special cases.
Relationship
It can be helpful to know how different system members get along (or don't). Relationships in a system can be mapped with something similar to a shipping diagram, and looking at the resulting map can make it very obvious if someone is overall liked, disliked, rejected, etc. It can also point out interesting patterns in who gets along and who doesn't.
Draw your system members arranged in a circle. Then, draw color-coded (or otherwise coded- make a key) lines between members that like each other, dislike each other, or have other important opinions about each other.
Structure
Sometimes, drawing the arrangement of your system can teach you how to work with it better.
If two people feel close to each other (e.g. they may have unusually easy communication, common interests or themes, common issues, etc.), then draw them close together. If two people feel far apart (e.g. poor communication, lots of differences and disagreements, don't really understand each other), then draw them far apart.
By the end of this, you have a map that shows you which people are clustered together and which people are disconnected, rejected, or otherwise pushed away. This can be very useful when trying to bring any cast-out people closer to the rest of your group, as it can make isolation very obvious.
You can also map other aspects of system structure. For example, you might consider mapping the relationship between the different places that people can occupy in your system (front, back, etc.):
This kind of map can be very abstract sometimes. We have a few structure maps that we've made over the years, and they probably don't make a ton of sense to people that aren't in our group, but they've helped us a lot.
You might also consider mapping associations. What colors are associated with your system members? Do they have common themes or imagery? Does everyone associated with the color green have a hard time talking to people associated with blue? Are powerful people usually associated with certain species?
Timeline
Sometimes, it can be helpful to make a timeline of important life events that happened to your group. If you have guesses about when some people showed up or changed, then putting those dates on the timeline can give you insight into what those people might be dealing with.
Content warning for trauma, suicide and egocide, and general unpleasantry if you read this one. We censored the most sensitive parts (and those we'd simply prefer to keep private), but it's still heavier than the other maps in this post.
Headspace
If your headspace is possible to map, then sometimes mapping it can teach you something about your system. It doesn't have to be very detailed to help, nor does it have to be entirely logical.
We don't have the one headspace map we've made in easy reach, unfortunately, and it's out of date. That said, conventional land mapping tricks will often work for places in headspace. Recreating headspace in a game like The Sims or Minecraft is also an option.
If multiple places overlap, then consider making a pop-up map or otherwise representing that overlap- it can be useful information. Likewise, if parts of headspace correspond to parts of your body or parts of your system, then it can be helpful to make a note about that.
Adapting for Large and Complex Systems
Larger systems may not all fit on one piece of paper. Complex systems may not fit on a 2D surface at all- there might be layers involved that need a 3D surface. System mapping still works for these cases, but you may need to approach it a little differently.
Try mapping your system's subgroups instead of individual people.
Try making multiple maps for different "regions" of the system. Consider including information on how those maps connect together.
Make good use of color coding and keys to pack more information into a smaller space.
Try mapping by using digital drawing programs and tools. A digital canvas can be much larger than a physical one.
Try mapping in 3D. Make a sculpture, stack sheets of paper, fold the paper, use the back side, draw a 3D shape, and experiment with other ways of arranging the map to better reflect your situation.
Use multiple kinds of map. Each map is likely to have part of the overall picture, and looking at them together is likely to give you useful information about how it all fits together.
Finally: system mapping is not required. It can be helpful for some systems, but it won't work for everyone, and some systems find that it harms them or makes their lives harder to live. If mapping doesn't work for you, then that's okay- there are plenty of other ways to get to know your system better. Do what works.
Hello! I'm Ardyn, and I decided to make this guide because after talking to many systems, I've come to realize that moving from a near medianhood to a full multiplicity may encourage better function for certain systems. For us any identity blurriness brings a lot of pain that has been aided by further separation and amnesiac barriers. Before you put an awful judgement on this, remember that healing is different for everyone, and breaking down barriers isn't best for everyone. This is up to the system, there is no guilt on wanting to do what is best for your system.
RADQUEERS DONT TOUCH
This guide will hold many different exercises and ideas that have been taken from tulpamancy and my own experiences.
first I'd say get situated with identity grounding and also following the "The Body is a Car" exercise within these sources
Identity Grounding
Guide to Switching
Building up Distinction
Separate Journals/Diaries
A seperate journal or diary that nobody can write in but that headmate is a good way to help a headmate build up their identity. They will be able to write down their own experiences and their own feelings, and this seperate space gives reinforces the idea that they are ultimately apart from you.
Separate Accounts with a Separate Feed
Something that pushed for the blur was having similar feeds, seeing my interest would push me to the front and cause issues for Vincent. He ended up making his own account on reddit where he is able to join subreddits that appeal to solely his interest, and it would help keep him at front instead of pull someone else.
Distinct Hobbies
encourage your headmates to pick up hobbies that are not something you may be interested in, hobbies give way to individuality as now they may seek others who share that hobby or spaces online that appeals to that hobby.
Different Clothing and Ownership
Assign different clothing and other items to headmates, let them pick out their own jacket and may they be the only ones to wear that jacket. Let them have their own perfume, let them have their own bag, let them have their own keychain for the car keys. This won't just give you that barrier, but also can be used as a form of identity grounding during a blur. When in blur, you will be able to tell whose fronting based on what clothing makes you feel more yourself.
Different Friends
This option may be more difficult, but it works very efficiently. Let your headmates have their own friend, I mean it. Giving them someone outside the system that they themselves can solely talk to is absolutely perfect in giving that split. Interacting and communication outside the body and encouraging unmasking will do wonders.
Drop Part Language
If you really want to encourage separation, you will have to drop the idea that you are all pieces of another. This is however a preference, speak to your headmates about it. Speak to them about terms they may prefer, maybe customized role names, let them be themselves. Push to yourself too that these are different people, not parts of you. But like I said, if parts language isn't an issue for you, then you might not have to change after all :P but I recommend it for this all to work.
Identity Separating Exercises
Now as you have pushed the formation of these headmates, now it's your goal to start separating them more and more through these exercises
Remember: Fake it until you make it
Being consistent in these exercises will be great, but you also have to make sure you believe that they are working. Plurality is very much a brain game, you have power over yourself and the more you believe these separations the more they will be. Some of these exercises are purely for pushing the belief, I recommend having a collection of proof on your plurality to refer to whenever you get doubtful.
I also recommend joining a tulpamancy community such as a discord or reddit, even if you don't practice tulpamancy, these people have so much trust in themselves and the process that it starts to rub off on you.
Separation Meditation
If you are able to visualize and even after doing all the above you still feel like your headmate hasn't fully left you, this exercise may be useful. In this meditation, you are to visualize the headmate in front of you. Then repeat "___ is a separate person from me" repeatedly for however long you like once a day.
Discussions
Speak to your headmates, ask questions about their lives
Here is a good source on that
Preface It’s often difficult to find things to talk to your tulpa about, especially when you’re just starting to work on vocality, or your t
The best route to take is to discuss opinions and specifically focus on what you disagree on, this will reinforce in your mind that this person is not you, this person does not agree with you, this person has their own opinion. Focus on those ideas until they really settle, and maybe also record these disagreements in your proof collection.
Affirmations
If you are a bit too busy for these things, constant affirmation throughout the day are both simple and helpful. Here is a good list
"__ is a seperate person from me"
"the system has entirely different and seperate people"
"___ is real and a seperate person"
"the system is noticeably distinct"
at first it may feel silly, but like I said, fake it until you make it. These will reinforce ideas.
Building Up Amnesiac Barriers
This may be more controversial, but for us these barriers help a ton. I would like to say that we already had blackout amnesia to begin with, but these exercises made them "worse". There are many reasons why a system may want to have higher amnesiac barriers, ours being privacy and independence, try to avoid judgement on this decision. The Switching Guide above also has an exercise that will push lost time.
"Cancel Recall"
When a memory from another headmate tries to seep into your thought process, immediately cover that memory and say to yourself "This memory isn't mine to remember". Perhaps visualize a door closing on it or a lock appearing on that memory. Mentally assign that memory to the correct headmate and move on
Affirmation
Affirmations that may help these barriers can be used situationally, just whenever you try and remember a time another headmate fronted think "No, I don't remember"
Headspace Tools
If you have a headspace, try using creation. Imagine cutting memory ties off with everyone else that can only temporarily be connected when agreed upon by both parties. Maybe also set up a headspace memory lock system.
Using Remnants left behind
When I say this I mean use something such as text messages a headmate left behind and when scrolling through them, focus and think "This wasn't me, I don't remember typing this".
Memory Redirection
Most times it's harder to push a memory away than just redirect it. When redirecting memory, for example you start to remember something another headmate did in meatspace, recite "that wasn't me, what did I do during this time" and attempt to recall your time within the headspace instead.
FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT, REMEMBER THAT
what do you guys think? any changes we should make? we would love to hear how this guide impacted your system!
A very quick disclaimer here: This is based on my own experiences as a Caretaker with the kids we have had and currently have within our own system. Some of, or even many of these things may not hold true for other systems.
Written by; Bronya (Admin, Archivist, Caretaker)
[GUIDE BELOW THE CUT.] [WARNING: VERY VERY LONG.]
Topics covered below;
Some Miscellaneous Basics
Getting to know your SysKid
Caring for your SysKid
Caring for your SysKid - Headspace Specifics
Navigating SysKids and Trauma
Okay, with that out of the way! Dealing with SysKids can be challenging, just like dealing with outside children, though with a few extra challenges because these children are in a system and that can make just about anything challenging at times!
Each SysKid can bring their own unique challenges, so there's no real "every SysKid can be handled like [x]" type situation here. The very first step to learning how to care for your SysKid(s), however, is to get to know them!
Their interests, their dislikes, and for lack of better phrasing, their maturity level. Do not expect your SysKids to always be 100% like their age group. Remember, they have a much older brain now, so for example, your 4 year old SysKid may have a wider understanding of things than, say, a bodily 4 year old might. That doesn't mean they won't still react to those things like a 4 year old would, though! Another 4 year old SysKid, however, may be a lot more similar to a bodily 4 year old. There's no way to tell for sure until you interact with and get to know them!
Our system is both Polyfragmented and Gateway, which means I have seen many SysKids come and go, and we currently have quite a few as well!
Some of them behave more like their age group than others, some seem to fluctuate between an age group (for example, one of them is in the 4-6 range). Some SysKids are nonverbal or some form of altverbal.
Unless otherwise specified by your SysKid, it's absolutely okay to treat your SysKid like an outside kid- as long as you aren't rude or patronizing about it. Yes, I know, "why would I be that way to a kid", but unfortunately I've seen this happen.
Syskids also have their own various boundaries and capabilities. We have a few SysKids who are able and allowed to front alone, provided we are at home.
This isn't plausible for everybody, of course, due to various personal situations the system may have at home, and not all SysKids are able to front on their own anyway.
There are also systems who cannot control their switches which can lead to a SysKid in front alone, and to all of you, you are not a bad person for ""letting this happen"", it isn't your fault if you can't control your switches. Tips for you& include leaving notes for your SysKid if need be (we have a personal discord server we often use for this, for example, which has exclusively us in it), or letting close, trusted friends know about the SysKid in advance so they can help if they're able and needed.
In the case of the two SysKids we allow to front on their own, we know they are responsible/"mature" enough to follow the rules we've set for them without needing to be reminded/regularly enforced/etc.
These rules are pretty basic and by large focused entirely upon their safety:
Who they can and can't talk to, discord servers they can and can't talk in, websites we know are safe for them vs websites we aren't sure about or know have inappropriate ads on them that occasionally manage to worm their way past our adblockers.
We also make sure they know, at all times, SysMates they can pull to front or call for help when or if they need it. For us, this includes myself, the Protectors, and a few others who are either Caretakers or have good parental or caretaker-y inclinations. This is something that, while they've both teasingly told us we don't have to keep reminding them of, we often keep reminding them of before or while they front.
"So, how do I get to know my SysKid(s)?"
Find out what they're interested in and spend time with them! Spending time with SysKids is very important, in my experiences. This may include playing with them in headspace, depending on your systems headspace situation, or even watching movies with them while fronting together!
Some SysKids may be shy- they may open up more as they get comfortable around you, but they also might not! If your SysKid is shy, you may need to approach them with more caution and gentleness than other SysKids might require. Some SysKids may not adjust as quickly as others to their new surroundings, either.
Think of... Getting a new pet, for example. They don't know you, your home is new to them, and that can scare them. You have to get them to warm up to you slowly; no rushed movements and soft attempts to initiate play times, etc.
Running with this same analogy, some new pets don't have a problem with any of that, and are in fact just excited to see all their new surroundings and meet all the new people around them!
SysKids have as much variation! For explanation on why I went with this analogy, I know a lot of folks do not have experience with children outside of Systems, for any number of reasons (not having younger siblings, never babysitting for others, etc.) and getting a new SysKid can be just as unique and even as challenging an experience as getting a new pet!
"How can I care for my SysKid?"
One SysKid can have a different set of needs than another, so the answer to this question can vary quite heavily. However, a few examples I can give are:
1. Spending time with them! This can range from coloring together to watching a movie with them! If you live with another system who has SysKids or live with somebody who is comfortable interacting with SysKids, you could even arrange playdates with them.
2. Giving them snacks or treats while they're in front, or even in headspace if your headspace functionality allows for this. Everybody's headspace is different, and some don't have a headspace at all, so this may not be possible outside of front and that's okay!
3. Like the above, depending on your systems headspace situation, this one may not be possible outside of front. However, this one also depends on your SysKid! Some SysKids can get grumpy after a little while without sleep. If you have multiple SysKids, this can get a bit challenging because you'll be trying to arrange multiple naps at once- not everybody is going to want to lay down at the same time.
4. Depending on your systems communication and the verbality of your SysKid (we have a kid who can only say one word, for example), you can also ask your Kiddo what they need or would like to do.
Obviously with this one, you may have to use your own judgement. We've all been kids at one time or another, and SysKids are often no exception to the "wanting to do things they see 'big kids' doing" mindset.
And of course, as with any SysMate, do not force your SysKid out of their comfort zone. This can be damaging to any SysMate (and your relationship with them), so of course it can be just as much if not more so with SysKids. If it's a situation where it's something the body needs that the SysKid is uncomfortable doing and your fronting situation allows you to: do it yourself or have another SysMate do it unless your SysKid has expressed wanting to become more comfortable with whatever it is.
For example, several of our SysKids are uncomfortable with things like going to the bathroom! That can seem like a weird, simple thing they "should be able to do", but keep in mind they are a child and your body isn't. That's a big difference! We are typically able to do fairly fluid switches, so we are able to switch the SysKid out of the "Main Seat" so to speak to do this for them, or "with" them if they've said they want to be more comfortable with it.
"What about in headspace? Do I need to watch them all the time? When should I check on them? Etc."
For me personally, I'm usually with most of our SysKids a good portion of the time. Of course, some of them have other SysMates they'd rather be with most of the time or spend time with sometimes, and that's okay too!
We usually try to keep an older SysMate with all our SysKids, but depending on your headspace, this might not be absolutely necessary.
For us, our headspace is not only incredibly large (an entire world in it's own right, at this point), but dangerous. Even a lot of older SysMates use the buddy system when traveling outside the main city just in case they run into more dangers at once than expected.
If your headspace is safe enough for your SysKid to be alone, it's still a good idea to check in on them! How often you should check on them probably depends on your SysKid's age and how they behave! For example, particularly chaotic SysKids may need to be checked in on more than SysKids who aren't quite so chaotic, just to make sure they aren't getting themselves into any trouble.
If your SysKid is usually fairly loud and there's a period of silence, that'd be a good time to check on them! If your SysKid is usually pretty quiet, you may need to use your own judgement for when to check on them! For example, you might be anxious about leaving them alone if they're pretty quiet, so maybe you'll feel more comfortable checking on them every 5-10 minutes or so.
And of course, if you hear them getting angry or crying, etc. that would definitely be a good time to check on them! Chances are they tripped while playing, can't get a toy to do what they want it to/can't figure out how to get it to do what they want to, or even messed up something they were drawing or coloring.
Personally, when I'm leaving our SysKids momentarily unsupervised for any number of reasons, I check on them anywhere from every 5-15 minutes, varying depending on amount of noise they're making and what kind of noises they're making, but it's important to keep in mind that I'm watching several SysKids at any given time!
To help myself stay organized, and because we have an entire city so this was a plausible option for me, I run a sort of kindergarten-daycare type thing within headspace! All our SysKids have an older SysMate they live with, and not all of them need or are interested in keeping up with any sort of solid education within headspace, so it more or less functions as both!
It's also possible your SysKid might not want to be left alone at all, maybe just at first while they adjust or even indefinitely, and that's okay too! A lot of kids don't like being left by themselves. In this situation, having them hang around another SysMate they like would be a good idea if you aren't sure who to put your SysKid with in this case.
In any case, if you are checking in on your SysKid, it's important to remember that you're not just making sure they're okay! Seeing you check in on them, whether you say this or not, reminds them that you're there for them and to help them/to care for them.
It's also important to remember that your SysKid might try to convince you to sit and color or play with them for a while during one of these check-ins! If you have the time to sit with them for even just a few minutes, I recommend it! It might not seem like much, but in my experience it often means a lot to them and can strengthen your bond with them.
"How do I navigate SysKids and Trauma?"
This can be challenging. Whether it's your systems own traumas, the SysKid getting stuck in front with somebody in a bad state of mind (it happens! front can be finnicky and disagreeable at times, even for those of us who can usually control their switches), your SysKid having ExoTraumas of their own, or even your SysKid being a Trauma Holder!
An important thing to remember in these situations is that, despite the trauma, your SysKid is still a kid! They may not fully understand the trauma they're experiencing (or witnessing). It can be hard to explain things to them if they're asking about it, and you may not even feel comfortable explaining it to them. In this case, it's absolutely okay to try and boil it down in a way a kid might understand- like adults often try to do with bodily kids.
Obviously, Trauma can be likely to stress your SysKid out pretty heavily. Like with older SysMates, coping skills will be helpful for them. Because this is a kid, these coping skills may be pretty different. It can include giving them their comfort item if they have one (for example, a favorite blanket or doll), playing their favorite movie and watching it with them, holding them while they're scared or upset, and comforting them (I usually go with soft "shh" noises and "it's okay", while reminding them that I'm here for them and they aren't alone. Also, just listening to them the same way you would a friend! They may not make as much sense in some cases, but they appreciate having an ear just as much!)
In the case of systems with trauma, avoiding putting your SysKid in situations you know triggers the rest of you because of that trauma as best you can is a good idea!
For a personal example, due to one of our own traumas, we are very Hydrophobic. Things like Showers and Baths are nearly impossible for us most days, and we never get out of them without anxiety attacks or bad dissociation. So even the SysKids who have said they "don't mind" taking a shower or bath through the body do not get to do this.
Some days we have a hard time even drinking water, so on those days we either make sure whatever we're drinking isn't water when the SysKid/s front, or we don't let them front that day.
Again, we are usually fairly in control of our switches, so this works for us, but things may be more complicated to navigate for other systems depending on the nature of their trauma/s and fronting capabilities.
Since that is not our situation, I will not try to make assumptions for how you can navigate your situation if this is how things are for you- given more information, I could certainly try to give you advice, however this is a random tumblr post, and I almost definitely do not know most of those reading this!
Ending notes!
For now this is all I really have, though I can always edit or reblog with more at a later date if need be! If you read this far and have any questions or comments, you're welcome to leave a message on this post, send us a DM, or drop an ask in our inbox! We have Anon turned on as well, for anybody who gets anxious about asks that are off-anon, etc.
Hi hi! Can we perhaps ask on how to switch/force a front? Our recently discovered plural friend(s?) asked us how to do it and we.. Didn't really knew how to reply bc most of the time our switches are involuntary/we switch immediately the moment something gets out of hand.
We were hoping on some answers to help them out, please and thank you!
We have written an article on exactly this that you may find helpful, but I'll also answer the question in this post, as the article could use an update.
First, a note on the experience of switching:
It's worth noting that switching doesn't always feel like trading places. Some systems do experience switching that way: they might feel like they "step out" and someone else "steps in". Other systems do not experience their switches this way.
You might experience switches as becoming the other person rather than trading places with them. You might notice your own preferences, behaviors, etc. changing in patterns without feeling like you left control- your sense of "I" stays the same, but everything associated with that "I" shifts. This can still be a switch.
Some systems (including us) experience both "trading places" and "becoming" switches. It can vary depending on the situation and the system members involved. Not all systems even switch in the first place (even in medical contexts! P-DID is a thing). Switching is a learnable skill, but you are not alone if you find that you are unable to do so.
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Strategies for Switching on Purpose
Voluntary switching is a skill. It's not one that we're exceptional at, but we've learned enough to be able to pull it off as long as other factors aren't involved- an external trigger will still typically overrule our own efforts. There are certain tactics we can use to try to cause or influence a switch despite that.
Literally just ask them
Our most-used trick is simply asking someone inside to come into control. Sometimes, this is all it takes.
I suspect that some of the efficacy of this comes down to having practiced other methods first, but we do find that asking "backseat drivers" to come forward or push us out of front is more effective for us than trying to let go of control directly. If someone is particularly stuck in control, then they might ask the entire system to help push them out of front (which may or may not work, but it certainly seems more effective than asking only one person to help with this).
As with many things, having good cooperation makes life easier.
Allowing
Choosing to leave control also sometimes works.
It's difficult to describe the feeling of intentionally letting go, but I might compare it to the mental motions you make when falling asleep. It's more a matter of allowing than trying. The more effort that you expend trying to make it happen, the less likely that it actually does happen. It's a mental motion of becoming passive and waiting as opposed to trying to go anywhere. The rest happens on its own.
I would strongly recommend having the consent of a system member who wants time in control before doing this. Dropping out of control without warning can be very disorienting for everyone else, and it may or may not suck someone into control unexpectedly. We only drop out without advance warning in emergencies where not doing so would put us in serious danger.
Memory and Mimicry
A lot of switching guides are aimed more at the "trading places" experience of switching. This trick seems to work best for switches that feel like "becoming"; it's one of our own preferred strategies for those situations.
First, decide who you're going to try to switch with. If possible, get their consent (in advance is better than nothing- see if you can check with them in a shared journal so that they know to expect this). We've given each other blanket consent to switch as needed, but it may be good to get more explicit agreement when trying to switch on purpose for the first time.
Try to remember the sensations of being that person. Where do they sit in your body? How do they hold themselves? How do they tend to feel (mentally and physically)? Vividly remembering or mimicking these experiences can sometimes push you towards actually being that person. We've found the following observations helpful:
Areas of tension and relaxation
Areas of pain or numbness
Resting expression, facial sensations
Body language tendencies (big movements, curling inwards, etc.)
Head sensations (foggy, heavy, tired, muted, etc.)
Strong opinions
For example, Red is easiest to summon by remembering how our eyes and shoulders feel: when she's in control, they feel more focused and broad, respectively. She also has a tendency to lift her chin higher. If I wanted to trigger a switch to her, then I might focus my eyes more, pull my shoulders back and out, raise my chin, and try to replicate aspects of her most recent mental state as best I can (What was she feeling? What was she thinking about?). Breathing out as I start trying to mimic someone also seems to help, though I'm not entirely sure why.
Different body parts may work better for different system members. Take some time to notice how each of you feel in your body and experiment with that. If you're unable to remember how other system members experience themselves in your body, then you may want to ask your system to write down information on this for you.
Dissociating and Associating
In cases where switching feels like trading places, you might be able to think of it as trading your attachment to your body with someone else. As you detach, they attach.
Detaching is dissociation. You likely know the mental motions for dissociating already (and if you don't, then you may be able to learn them by paying attention to how it feels to unintentionally dissociate. Please don't set off dissociation that interferes with your life on purpose to see what it feels like).
Associating is the opposite of dissociating. Associating intentionally may or may not be something you're familiar with, but a good way to practice this is using grounding exercises. Engaging with your senses, reminding yourself of information about the present, and leaning into the world around you can all be thought of as associating with your body and the world.
When you switch, the person currently in control dissociates. They detach from the world, your body, etc. At the same time, someone else associates with these things. If you can learn to do this on purpose, then that process can be used to switch intentionally.
Visualization
This is another strategy that tends to work better if you experience switches as trading places- think of it as a visual metaphor for dissociating and associating that can make that process easier. It also requires some form of sensory imagination, though it likely could be modified for conceptual imagination.
Imagine that your body is a suit, mech, or other container. You are inside this container. Visualize your arm inside its arm. We tend to imagine it as a colored ghost-arm or gas.
Notice that when you wiggle a finger, your body's finger moves, but your finger is distinct from its finger. See if you can imagine moving your finger without your body's finger moving. Imagine that separation.
When you have a good sense of your own fingers inside of your body's fingers, slowly pull your arm out of your body's arm. Take off the suit. Notice how it feels without you inside of it. This is likely to be a strange feeling, and it may take some practice to get here without that strangeness sucking you back into control. Let it be strange. Observe it from a distance. Detach.
Allow another system member to do the same process in reverse: ask them to move their arm into your body's arm, putting the suit on. Let them move its fingers, then the rest of it. Your body's fingers are now their fingers. Your body's arm is their arm. Again, this step may take some practice before you're able to sustain it for more than a moment or two.
You may or may not have traded control over your train of thought during this process. If you haven't, then trading mental control can be approached in a similar way.
Imagine that your brain is a mech. There is a pilot's seat. Whoever is in the seat has control of your main train of thought. You are in the seat. Notice that.
Ask someone to sit down in the seat with you and notice what it's like to share that space with them. Ask them to notice what it feels like as well. You are both in the seat, both in your center of thought, both present. This can be a very useful place to be, and I might suggest practicing it further.
If you'd like to fully switch out, then get out of the seat, leaving your system member alone in control. If you are having a hard time leaving the seat, then you might ask your system member to push you out of it. Allow them to take up more and more mental space until you are not in the center of thought anymore. This can take some practice.
Your system member should take a moment to notice how it feels to be alone in the seat. You are not at the center of noticing anymore. They are.
This was the first method that we learned to voluntarily switch, and we do still use it when sharing control- it can be very useful for allowing someone else to control your arm without fully switching out. It seems easiest to learn when starting small and building up. Trade control of a single finger first and practice sustaining that. Add more of your body as it becomes easier to maintain that trade.
Associations
Some methods don't care how you experience your switches. This is one of them.
System members generally have things that they associate themselves with. These things might include colors, activities, people, concepts, objects, emotions, opinions, and more. When they are around, these things are more present in your mind.
You may be able to "summon" someone forwards by surrounding yourself with these associations. Being around their things makes it much easier for them to be around. This means that learning what each person is associated with can give you a list of potential switch triggers for them.
Ask your system members what they like. Ask them how they think of themselves. Ask them what makes them feel like themselves. Their answers might give you ways to call them forwards.
Music is our go-to associative tool. We each have our own playlists, and playing someone's music is an easy way to pull them forwards or hold them in place. I suspect that this works as well as it does because each of us has noticeably different music preferences, but making playlists may still help if you have similar tastes so long as there are different songs for each of you. Try to minimize overlap if you build playlists for this.
Dealing with the Situation
There is often a very good reason for someone to be in control, and exploring that reason may help open space for someone else to come forwards.
What about your environment brought that system member forwards? Is there an ongoing need for them to be present that you haven't considered?
Is there something that needs to be processed by that specific system member? Are they best-suited for the current situation in some way, or do other system members lack the skills needed to deal with it? Does the situation remind them of something else?
Have they had a lot of time in front lately? Sometimes, spending a lot of time in front makes it harder to let go of front. This can be worked through, but it means that you may need to put in more effort to force a switch than you otherwise would. Balancing front times can help prevent this in some cases (though that does require some degree of switch control- these things take time to arrange).
Let it Be
You might become a master at switching on purpose. Even then, you will sometimes still have no control over who is around. Things happen. You might have switch triggers that override your ability to control switching. You might have a harder time using your strategies in chaotic environments. You might just have an off day where it's not working.
It's okay if you don't have full control over switching. Switching on purpose often takes time and practice, and even with that practice, sometimes a situation takes fronting out of your control.
Let it happen and roll with it. Fighting a switch tends to lock things down instead of letting the switch pass naturally (and fighting it may leave you with a nasty headache). Letting an unwanted switch happen is sometimes the fastest and easiest course of action, and planning for the unexpected can be very helpful in dealing with that.
