my mother made me do this
(I am afraid of
a wall of)
(so much noise)
that wall is going to fade behind
when I reach the walls and go inside
but there will be no guards
in there
will be nowhere to hide
…will the teacher love me?
I am scared of the men they sent for protecting me
from themselves
these marshals look familiar
…not sure I know what that word on the sign means?
but I am sure I'm sure what they mean for me to see
I have never met these men
that act like they are protecting me
not sure I know what a US marshal is
but I am sure they weren’t my daddy's friends yesterday
I am supposedly here to learn
and I am sure learning something
I won’t be celebrated today
or tomorrow
these thoughts shouldn’t be in my mind
I don't even think about how
I’m just a baby, a child!
it's just something I have to do
my mom wants me to go to school
but these men scare me
and all these people are going to hurt her
who will be there once I’m inside
to stop anyone from doing a murder
Tylertown
is loud, the sound
is a crowd of death threats gathered around
crowding the fence
mama, daddy, that sound is intense it's like wind that I can see
rising falling breaking stabbing throwing rotten
- maybe the teachers will be nice?
I don't know - that in 60 years my smile will be so warm
so forgotten
so wise
so measured
civil
educated
practiced
elevated
celebrated
but today is just a storm
behind my smile I know
they’ll nurture it, it will grow
this hate will cultivate and stay
seventeen year cicadas,
there are no US marshals back at home
Sports Afield!
desegregation
books and pencils
destination: William Frantz
blackboard, chalk
White Citizens Council
versus Barbara Henry
versus William Frantz Elementary
US marshal doesn’t hold my hand
tomorrow dad loses his job (at a gas station)
grocery says no, no food, get out
go away
ain't gonna be desegregation
from now on and until then
…this is a murderer nation
presses both its muscles
allllll right here
right on me -
I will smile and they will smile and welcome me
and say “thank you”
in sixty years
maybe
but, for today,
a classroom alllll by myself.
but, integration
and demonstration
all lives mattering
and history and
Brown versus the Board of Education
murder and maiming and battering
imprisonment and disillusion
(understand that deadly hate is not mere confusion)
all the threats
are all still here
you buy my smile
in sixty years
(it still won't stop)