#poetry2018

[goditsher]

111: it keeps on happening

from my notes (2018)

In your arms, I want it to be my home again. The warmth, the comfort, the scent, the feeling. The way it wraps around me at random times. The way you look at me when I overthink. They way you rub my back, whisper to my ear. "Things will get better, keep the faith." It calms me. It soothes my spine. I just want to be with you just like in our past. I want you to be my home again. But my home isn't with you anymore. And I hate it. Fuck that. That's messed up.

My home today doesn't want to be my home. He doesn't want me as much as I want him. Maybe he's just my pit stop I had to make,   to take me where I truly belong. And I can't hate him for that, all he did was love me, genuinely. I can't be with someone who wants me, But not enough for me to stay. It's not always about how much I want him. How about me? I deserve to be wanted too. His past wasn't even a threat, not like you. His past is what brought him to me, And I can't hate him for that.

His substance was the best part about him. It's funny that I didn't know his face, But his soul was enough to want him. I want to know him naked, his fears, his tears, His broken pieces, his darkest phases, His weaknesses, until his dreams. But he didn't want me that enough. If I want to go, he'll let me go. That's how easy it is for him. And that sucks. I hate that feeling. In that state, I feel worthless. Empty.

It's clear now, maybe he was just stuck with me. He just want the idea of me being there. He was just bored and all. He needed someone to take care of. He just want the benefit of me. He needed someone who'll want him. He's just like you, you want me to be there. But not enough to make me stay. He needed me, but never wanted.

Hindi pwedeng gusto lang akong manatili, dahil gusto ko.

Maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe I didn't deserve to be loved. Maybe I'm not worth it. I have no value. They were right, nothing's safe worth the dive.

To you, thank you for giving me the feeling of being loved. Everything that happened between us, was perfect. I love how the scratches was made. It felt real and sure. P, please be happy. It breaks my heart seeing you breaking. Enjoy the ride of love. I'm always here, all ways. Love her ‘til it aches no more.

-jar 10:07 am Book 18 Chapter 12 Page 18 12/18/18

I just knew; I knew this has to be in one of these pages of letters. I knew I would blog this here. I also knew that this is meant to the fire. It's meant to be burned — turned into gray ashes. This is the first poem I wrote about him. Glad that I've saved this. This would remind me of how I started growing, loving, and believing in him. Although this is about two different people, this screams a remarkable trace from the past that I'm keeping forever. 

 9:41 pm 021721

[sugarlandbabygirl]

Nature’s Way

Day after day, Nature casts her own type of enchantment. Even if she is not always kind, or "fair", according to mortal perceptions. Whatever she takes, she will always return, in one form or another.

[whimsybrain]

From now through the 31st, I’ll be posting my favorite poems I’ve written this year 😊. Tagging them as #poetry2018

They were a pleasure to write and I hope you’ll join me in reading them over once more before we dip our pens into the new ink of the new year.

[lotuscarroll]

• sunrise outside my window a song repeating in my heart lingering on thoughts of you distracted by thoughts of me my bed becomes warmer than the morning sky just five more minutes • #sunrise #poetry2018

[bleufeenix]

Poetry Shenanigans - Kindling

Kindling

Maybe one day, Some day, You’ll burn the same way I did, To learn the lessons I learned. Maybe one day, You’ll feel, The cost of actions, The weight of words. Oh who am I kidding, You’ll never learn, You’ll never feel that fire, That raged and burned, Smoldered, smothered and snuffed out, Parts and pieces of me, Unto the point of no return. You’ll never see the scars, Thickened and branded, Upon this tainted soul and heart. Oh indeed, Who am I kidding? For you’d have to be human, To learn, to feel, To rise above it all, To heal, As opposed to the sorry excuse, Of Carbon, Hydrogen and Oxygen, You’ve come to be.

SJ

[apologeticdartthrow]

An Almost First Lover 1/14/18

You tried to protect me the only way you could,

By protecting yourself first off.

That make it fucking worse, you know?

Now I feel so crossed.

When you’re young

Everything feeling like love

Until you meet someone

That just can’t be overcome.

I didn’t get it at first,

I think I misread the signs.

Now I’m starting to listen

Every time the clock chimes.

[sugarlandbabygirl]

The Freedom of Youth

Honeysuckle sweet summer breeze Old apple trees and scraped knees Youthful innocence in full bloom

[sugarlandbabygirl]

An Ode to Allergies

Varying sneezes for different occasions, One for that dastardly seasonal pollen (at least the flowers are beautiful), Two for pet dander (but we love them any way) Three for the heavily overused perfume (oh, how thy stings the nostrils), And, as always, there's plenty of snot to go around.