#pointless posts since 91

[daitheflu]

hi im an absent parent from this blog. sorry, baby.

i think last year i had a lot of optimism underneath all my fear. this year i have a lot of skepticism and cynicism underneath all my fear.

things are just...worse? 

hAlp.

[daitheflu]

how do people do confidence?

i feel like i have an okay self esteem but sometimes i become so sure that if people meet me or see parts of me, they will be immediately disgusted.

so how do i get confidence? how do you attain that?

[daitheflu]

so im leaving to mexico tomorrow for my sister's wedding on saturday. im co-maid of honor and im pretty excited. more than i thought id be. it should be really nice. its on the beach at sunset on saturday.

hope its a nice trip. see you on the other side.

[daitheflu]

i am in the midst of the best non-relationship relationship. no effort or thinking too hard, do what i want.

this is like everything i had envisioned. just wish i still had my dorm.

[daitheflu]

i think i need to stop and just be grateful more often. over the past two months, a lot of things have gone my way. not everything ofc, but a lot of really good things have happened to me. or atleast things that i am thankful for experiencing or being a part of.

i need to start being happier. im usually content, which is fine, but goddamn there are some things i should be downright happy about.

so thanks j-dog, waheguru, random particle in space, whatever. thank you

[daitheflu]

i hate getting excited about things that may not happen, but something good may happen in july, something ive been waiting for my wholeeee life, so im crossing my fingers. im nervous/mad excite

ps - this is about an animal, not like im getting a sex change or something a bit more profound

[daitheflu]

last friday to this previous last friday was just a fucking good week.

im in such a good place right now mentally, physically, emotionally.

and its all gonna go in the shitter after the next two weeks cause im gonna panic about graduating.

but two weeks feels so far away. and im just doing goooood. and i wanna appreciate this cause i dont appreciate enough.

[daitheflu]

im listening to chauffuer by deftones and im eating chinese food and its my spring break and i have a date tomorrow and everything feels okay right now