Introducing A Child To The Entering Member Of A Triad. ‘The Before Story’
I don’t want to say that I've been avoiding this topic but more so that I've been collecting my thoughts about it. With that being said I will start but telling you a bit of my personal situation. I have a four year old daughter. I’ll be referring to her from this point on as Buttercup which is the nickname I've been calling her since she was born. For some reason I think of Persian buttercup flowers when I talk about her. Anyways, Buttercup is not biologically King's child but he's been around her since before she could crawl so in every sense of the word “father”, he is hers. Buttercup has seen Honey for short moments here and there, one in which she decided she wanted to share one of her Halloween peeps with Honey.
Honey and I have talked about a few times in depth about Buttercup. Honey currently doesn’t have any children but given her profession and having a much younger sibling she is no stranger to kids. I am thankful for this but I have spoke with her about it since it will be a bit different because she will be from the parenting side of it all and she will soon be around Buttercup constantly. From what she expressed she is comfortable with that thought yet maybe a bit anxious about it. As everything else we have decided to take it one day at a time and play it by ear. I constantly get questions about this such as.. What will you tell your daughter, how will or do you introduce her to your daughter, what will your daughter call her, don’t you think that will confuse her and many many more. My only response to these type of questions is.. I don’t know, This is something new for ALL of us. But what I can tell you is that Buttercup is smart, accepting, and loving towards all people. She wants for nothing more than for everyone to be happy and to be friends with everyone.
So far my only plans when it comes to Honey and Buttercup is to slowly introduce them into one another's lives. Yes, for the time being she is being introduced as a close friend and Buttercup says that Honey is very nice but as of the future we don’t know what that may hold. It’s hard to say what Honeys relationship with Buttercup will become at this point. I could say that I only have hopes that they will be friends but I can already see more. I see them being able to get close one day and a nickname for Honey could develop at some point that has more meaning to it showing the closeness between them. I was only asked this question once by a stranger I explained the situation to but it did take me back for a moment that I had to think about it but.. I was asked “why wouldn’t she be called mom, would that bother you?”. I thought about it and my conclusion was no, It wouldn’t bother me but that's not something you put on someone or something you train your kid to do. Just the same as with King when he asked for the chance to be called dad I explained to him “If you sign up for that role you must understand that no matter what happens between you and I that dad will always be your role”. If Honey and Buttercup develop a relationship as such I will have no problem with that as long as Honey is willing to sign that life long commitment as well.
I am going to rant for a moment so please excuse me. Something I am firmly against and can not stand is when a new man is introduced as a child's “daddy” every week. I think it's damaging to the child and a big issue that is overlooked by desperate women nowadays, ‘end rant’. Thank you for baring with me thru that but now back to the topic at hand. As I said before hand Buttercup is smart girl and all she cares about is everyone's loves one another and loves her so I have no concern about any of this. I think that every situation is going to be different and will need to be approached in a way that is appropriate to it. Something that everyone needs to consider is that this will be one of the subjects you will experience biggest conflict in. You will receive a lot of hatred about raising a kid in a polyamory environment. Something you need to remember is, There is always someone that will be judgmental of how you raise your kids. It doesn’t matter if you are in a monogamous relationship or a polyamorous one. As a parent all you can do is know that you are protecting your child, loving them, and showing them what human kindness truly is.
@ }~~>~ Baby

















