#polyamory-relationship

[itripoly-blog]

Introducing A Child To The Entering Member Of A Triad. ‘The Before Story’

I don’t want to say that I've been avoiding this topic but more so that I've been collecting my thoughts about it. With that being said I will start but telling you a bit of my personal situation. I have a four year old daughter. I’ll be referring to her from this point on as Buttercup which is the nickname I've been calling her since she was born. For some reason I think of Persian buttercup flowers when I talk about her.  Anyways, Buttercup is not biologically King's child but he's been around her since before she could crawl so in every sense of the word “father”, he is hers. Buttercup has seen Honey for short moments here and there, one in which she decided she wanted to share one of her Halloween peeps with Honey.

       Honey and I have talked about a few times in depth about Buttercup. Honey currently doesn’t have any children but given her profession and having a much younger sibling she is no stranger to kids. I am thankful for this but I have spoke with her about it since it will be a bit different because she will be from the parenting side of it all and she will soon be around Buttercup constantly. From what she expressed she is comfortable with that thought yet maybe a bit anxious about it. As everything else we have decided to take it one day at a time and play it by ear. I constantly get questions about this such as.. What will you tell your daughter, how will or do you introduce her to your daughter, what will your daughter call her, don’t you think that will confuse her and many many more. My only response to these type of questions is.. I don’t know, This is something new for ALL of us. But what I can tell you is that Buttercup is smart, accepting, and loving towards all people. She wants for nothing more than for everyone to be happy and to be friends with everyone.  

    So far my only plans when it comes to Honey and Buttercup is to slowly introduce them into one another's lives. Yes, for the time being she is being introduced as a close friend and Buttercup says that Honey is very nice but as of the future we don’t know what that may hold. It’s hard to say what Honeys relationship with Buttercup will become at this point. I could say that I only have hopes that they will be friends but I can already see more. I see them being able to get close one day and a nickname for Honey could develop at some point that has more meaning to it showing the closeness between them. I was only asked this question once by a stranger I explained the situation to but it did take me back for a moment that I had to think about it but.. I was asked “why wouldn’t she be called mom, would that bother you?”. I thought about it and my conclusion was no, It wouldn’t bother me but that's not something you put on someone or something you train your kid to do. Just the same as with King when he asked for the chance to be called dad I explained to him “If you sign up for that role you must understand that no matter what happens between you and I that dad will always be your role”. If Honey and Buttercup develop a relationship as such I will have no problem with that as long as Honey is willing to sign that life long commitment as well.

   I am going to rant for a moment so please excuse me. Something I am firmly against and can not stand is when a new man is introduced as a child's “daddy” every week. I think it's damaging to the child and a big issue that is overlooked by desperate women nowadays, ‘end rant’. Thank you for baring with me thru that but now back to the topic at hand. As I said before hand Buttercup is smart girl and all she cares about is everyone's loves one another and loves her so I have no concern about any of this. I think that every situation is going to be different and will need to be approached in a way that is appropriate to it. Something that everyone needs to consider is that this will be one of the subjects you will experience biggest conflict in. You will receive a lot of hatred about raising a kid in a polyamory environment. Something you need to remember is, There is always someone that will be judgmental of how you raise your kids. It doesn’t matter if you are in a monogamous relationship or a polyamorous one. As a parent all you can do is know that you are protecting your child, loving them, and showing them what human kindness truly is.    

@  }~~>~ Baby

[itripoly-blog]

A Big Happy Thanksgiving! 

We wanted to say happy thanksgiving from our family to all of yours! Hope you all get stuffed with delicious food and enjoy the good company today!.. Unless you normally try to avoid your family, Then I hope you eat fast and get the fuck out of there. <3 <3 <3

[itripoly-blog]

The Flour That Never Dies.

A Special Day For Honey - By Baby

Approaching the holidays and being the first round of holidays with Honey I wanted to do something a little special. King and I had talked and knew we wouldn’t be able to be together with Honey for Thanksgiving so we decided to have one for just the three of us. I didn’t want to stop there though, I had decided I wanted to make sure I had everything to make a full thanksgiving dinner but I also wanted lace table cloth, candles and flowers. In short, I wanted this to kind of make a show of my feelings towards Honey. So, I got all the food and started to mentally chart how long everything will take and what I can prep the day before. Go to the store but of course they didn’t have a few of the things I needed… And that's when the “fun” started.

 I had to cook the whole day to make sure everything was done by that night she should would be arriving for our weekend together. Knowing this I didn’t really have time to run into town but knew King had to work that day. The night before, I told King a list of things that I would need him to pick up when he got off work. (Let me take a moment from the story to tell you something about King. King… Has memory issues or as I call them “Gaming and not really listening” issues :P). The list of things I told him I was going to need was Wine glasses since we only had two, tin foil for cooking, and flowers for the center vase.

 While cooking on the day she was suppose to arrive I text King to tell him not to forget the tin-foil or the eggs would get hard. I figured that would be all the mention needed for him to get the list of things I asked for. Oh, how wrong I was. King arrives from working baring nothing BUT the tin-foil. Of course i'm not happy, I had been up from early morning cooking and cleaning, I hadn’t been able to shower, and my OCD was never happy with the house. Being upset I facepalm and he knew I was upset. Being he just worked 8 hours and knowing I was displeased the moment he walked thru the door had upset him.. The fight was on!

I’ve told you all we’re not perfect. We back and forth for a moment before I throw up my hands like “fuck it” In my mind day was ruined because he didn’t want to go out and I didn’t have the time. We exchange bad vibes before he ask what I wanted. Then we argue about the fact he had only known me wanting tin-foil, He had no memory of the other items. In a fit from being poked at I say “You know I wanted a flower” he puffs up and takes off to the store.

 After shaking the anger off I get up and start cooking again. King shortly returned from the store although I never turn to look at him while at the sink, until I hear a loud thud from behind me. Upon turning around I see one bag with what looks like a triangle of white in it. I look for a moment before I can put it together…. he got me.. Flour? Flour! he went to the store and got me flour when what I was looking for was a flower. I pick up the empty turkey pan and buried face into it before a slow chuckle escapes my lips while I was thinking “I wanted a flower and he got me flour!” he quickly turns to ask what the hell is so funny in this serious time of being displeased with one another so I had to explain to him that flower/flour which he seemed to think was pretty funny himself.

 I decided to work with what I got. We had pre made plans that he take Honey to the store for something easy to grab while I pulled the table into the living room, set up the candles and placed the food on serving trays to put on the table… And of course this meant our floury flower as well. It was to both of their surprise when they came home to find the lovely set up with the vase in the middle and the bag of flour topping it. We all had a laugh and ended up having a wonderful night, eating our thanksgiving dinner together and watching a movie.

[itripoly-blog]

King helping Honey with her pally set up, We didn’t end up taking alot of pics since we were all so sick but they were just to cute for me to pass this one up.

[itripoly-blog]

If a person only wants to kiss other people without being emotionally attached is that still polyamorous or is that something else?

Honestly that is a hard call, I’m unsure but i’m sure there is some type of term for people who are just sexually attracted to kissing many different people. Normally kissing will turn into something more. I would still follow the same basic rules when it comes to poly though. Make sure its something that you are both ok with and only then would it be alright to move forward with whatever it is you wish to practice. I wouldn’t feel right telling you it is or isn’t Polyamorous sense kissing is something you share with everyone you care about parent, sibling, kids, grandparents, and partners so there for its more so a general base of showing love and affection. There isn’t a rule book to being poly, and there is no wrong way to go about being poly. Even if its not a emotional interest its still in some way is a physical one, which could fall under the pretense of poly. I still won’t make the call, and believe its something for the said person to truly decide in the end.  

@ }~>~~ Baby

[itripoly-blog]

Hi ah, my girlfriend recently told me she thinks she might be polyamorous and not being so myself that kind of scared me. However I want to be able to be open and supportive of her because I love her. Do you have any advice for coping with this? My main worry is that she won't love me anymore if she dates / has feelings for someone else too.

From my point of view, poly is something you either can or can’t do. Some people just can’t. If that’s something you can’t do, you should talk to her about it. The best thing about true poly is that everyone involved is consenting to and enjoys the relationship(s). One of the most important parts of any relationship between any amount of people is open and honest communication, which admittedly is tough at times, but so necessary.I hope this answers your question and Baby may have more to say later. I wish you and your girlfriend the best of luck and love!

~Honey~

The only thing I really want to add to what Honey said is research. Do a little research on everything that is poly. It can be scary when you don’t have the knowledge to support you. When a lot of people are first faced with Polyamorous they are terrified of it because its this whole new scary world. Being afraid of losing ones partner is always the biggest worried among people. Look back to the meaning of Polyamorous, it is the ability to love more then one person at a time. The best thing you can do if you do allow her to explore into the world of Poly is meet anyone that can be a partner. Until you meet them you will blow that person up in your head as the perfect flawless super model that is out to get you but in the end this isn’t the case. Has Honey said keep communication strong. Also don’t ever feel as though its something you have to do, Its beautiful you want to support her but always find a medium so you can both be happy. Best of wishes, Let us know if you have anymore questions.

Baby.

[itripoly-blog]

In your triad, do you have kids? If so, what ages? We have two boys and I wanted to ask how yous manage them during your times of intimacies. Ours are at the age where they are clinging to T and making it impossible to for her to be a part of our triad. Any tips or advice?

Answered by Baby.

Yes there is one kid, She is four. She is biologically my child and although she is not biologically King’s child he has been there before she could crawl. We don’t really have a issue with it because of where we live. My sister lives next to us and my mom across the street, and she is a kid that always wants to be on the go. She has met Honey but they haven’t been able to be around each other a lot. Although that might be changing very soon but I still don’t predict any problems. Honestly, if it were me I would treat the situation like as if I were starting a new relationship with a single person. Maybe create a “adults night” to where you three could spend time bonding together. Not knowing the age of the kids its hard to say but I would surely enforce bed rules. Some people feel as though when they are taking time for their self’s they are neglecting their children when this isn’t the case. All the time is kid time but at night around bed time should be a time for you and your partners. Its your down time to relax, watch a movie, or maybe play a game or simply chat. Also its the time to get out all those naughty little desires of kinky fun time :D. I didn’t see if you three live together, if not I know that can make your window for such time a bit smaller. If not when she visits  that is either a grandparent time or as I said if you don’t have that type of family support you could interview baby sitters that could very least provide you with at least 6 hours for bonding/play time. If you have issues getting the kids to following the sleep schedule (like bed by 8 in their own bed) I suggest approaching the kids as a family, all three of you get them tucked in with kisses and maybe take turns reading a few stories. Not only will this help them in going to sleep faster with comfort but with all three of you there it will help them learn that they don’t have to be dependent on T. This too will help her greatly between balancing children and a new(ish) romantic relationship. I hope this helps a little!    

[itripoly-blog]

Behind the scenes of our post.

What The Hell Are We Really Doing?

I thought it would be fun to kinda give everyone the rundown on what we are doing. So, here's a little bit about what's going on in our heads with the blog as well as the process we take to post to you. Mostly Honey and I work on the blog. As you can see with the post I do a lot of the writing while Honey does a lot of editing and makes sure that you fine folk are able to understand my gibberish. Together in doing this we make a good team because I think it gets both of our strong points. Honey does write as well, you should be able to tell who writes the post as well put a marker in the details telling you who it is by. I’m also thinking of a system that will show you that a certain post is a reblog of our own blogs. King really hasn’t got into the blog has much. as far as writing and blogging goes it just isn’t his cup of tea but he happily answers questions and gives his thoughts and opinion on things. I think it has been a fun experiences for us because it also gives us a good insight to what's going on in our partners heads. In these blogs we really want to give you that insiders look about how we operate, how we deal with our everyday polyamorous life, and help maybe give you hints and tips on things that could help in your on poly adventure…. And if we can be jackasses and offer a few laughs along the way i'm down for it.

things we look forward to doing! 

We're looking forward to posting some pictures and once the blog picks up a bit i’m trying to brainstorm some games that we can play with the poly community. As well we want to do a bit more on everyday discussions on polyamorous. We want to be able to take you along as we deal with rejection, coming out to friends and family (which all already know),and something exciting that might be coming up but for the time being it's a secret ;). I have a lot of friends online since i’m a gamer and they’ve all been support even to the point where they are helping create and design different symbols/art for us to post on the blog and maybe just use in general on other sites! *happy dance* there is someone i’ve been trying to get ahold of lately that does advanced symbol creation and art and if I can convince him to help me with a few things then there will be some very interesting things we will be able to post. Thank you to everyone that decides they want to follow us in this journey as well as all the support and love we’ve received from friends, family, and even surprisingly a lot of strangers. From the bottom of all of our hearts you mean so much.