“Hey hunter out of your two siggniffs who do you love more”
1.fuck off
2.

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“Hey hunter out of your two siggniffs who do you love more”
1.fuck off
2.
Self destructive act #1 +Rambling Vent
Getting all wet and hot with him in mind but having sex with my physical man to the thought of the other one. I could easily just grab a vibrator and do my business and not hurt anyone in the process.... actually...I'm just going to make up an excuse and say I'm not feeling well. I'll just take care of myself when he falls asleep.. but still....it doesn't change the fact that I'm thinking of someone else....should I feel bad for having these thoughts??? It's so indulging but so wrong. It's only wrong if I look at it that way right? But wouldn't it be incredibly selfish to think it alright to believe that my head is my safe space where no one can see but me?...but that could also be a bad thing bc I'm highly self critical and I'm just going to consider myself an evil person no matter what I do.
This is why therapists drop me:
Me: I’m trans Therapist: *head explodes* Therapist: How have you been? Me: *thinking:well, that’s hard to say because I’ve been 5 different people this week....how do I word this?* Um.....up and down Therapist: How do you feel right now? Me: *thinking: well, maverique me is pretty chill, but guy me is freaking out* Um....I dunno, a lot I guess.... Me: I’m genderfluid Therapist: What does that mean? Me: My gender changes. To me it’s kinda like being different people at different times. Therapist: Sounds like that could be a personality disorder Me: I’m asexual right now Therapist: Are you sure? Depression can cause low sex drive. Me: I’m aromantic right now Therapist: What is that? Me: I don’t have any romantic attractions and I’m not interested in them Therapist: Are you sure you’re not just afraid of getting hurt and don’t want to be close to anyone? Me: I’m polya Therapist: What’s that? Me: I have multiple partners Therapist: How many? Me: 2 right now Therapist: Why do you feel the need for two partners? Me: That’s how it worked out. It’s how I’m built I guess Therapist: Do you think you’ll ever commit to just one partner? Me:.......probably not.....I don’t particularly care to if I happen to love or be attracted to multiple people Therapist: Don’t you see how that could contribute to depression? Don’t you think there’s someone out there you could be monogamous with? Therapist: It seems like you’re very fragmented, maybe we can work on integrating yourself and creating more stability Me: *thinking: so you’re basically saying “Let’s try to make you not fluid!”* I never said I was fragmented, just that I’m not just one person... Therapist: That sounds like a personality disorder Me: *sigh* Me: I’m gender neutral right now Therapist: I don’t understand, weren’t you a guy last week? Me: Yes, I told you I was fluid Therapist: Oh that’s right! Speaking of that, have you heard anything about this personality disorder called. . . Me: No. Just no. *hangs up on call-in session*
having crushes on 4 people at once and knowing you shouldn't ask any of them out because it's not fair to them....Deepest sigh