Thinking about Zack getting so uncomfortably stuffed that he gets really really bad hiccups and he needs desperately needs Madire to rub his tummy because she’s the nurturing one ❤️ I really like Zack and Maldire’s dynamic because she’s usually such a man hater but she has such a soft spot for him and now I’m thinking they maybe don’t even have sex and it’s more just straight kink with them?
Lulubell likes to take care of him too but in a lot more of a sinister and selfish kind of way. Like Maldire takes care of him because it makes him feel good but Lulubell likes to take care of him because it makes HER feel good I think that’s the big distinction.
Did I mention the girls are psychically linked and that’s why they both like him??? I’ll have to explain that lore in another ramble.
Just lore stuff I’ve been thinkin about I’m too tired to draw but my creative juices are still flowin yknow what I mean?
Quick life update (11/22/20): My girlfriend and I have been together for just over 9 months (9 months and a day lol, I forgot our anniversary was yesterday) and we recently became a polycule! We’re a vee- she is dating both of us but I am not dating the other person. I love our little family so much and I can’t wait for it to expand <3
I’m also trying to woo this boy that’s in some of my classes lol. Wish me luck!!
Very freeing to be in a weird, queer polycule where you’re all autistic and platonic/romantic/sexual feelings get blended and mixed up. Like, we’re allowed to love the way we want and go against societal norms for what a family looks like. There’s no pressure to love a certain way or stick to some standard.
Tell us about the polycule stuff! I'm sorry that it didn't go well. I never hear about them ending well..
its ok!! as always.. word vomit... under cut
so. ill call one dairy and one mauve for the sake of the story lol
me and dairy had been friends for YEARS. we meet in 2019, and we had bene apart of the same online friendgroup during most of that. in around 2021/2022, i had a queer platonic partner (imagine like. platonic dating) and dairy asked me if i was okay with them asking my qpp to be in a queer platonic relationship with them. i said yes but was very upset by it but didn't tell them. a few months later, that qpp i had left discord and just vanished from the internet. me and dairy grew closer with this, since we were both platonically dating the person and going through the same hurt of dealing with them leaving. we became close friends with this.
now, mauve. i met mauve in around january of 2021 and (in my opinion) immediately clicked. me and mauve started dating in february of 2023, and i had a crush on them for a month or two beforehand. dairy was one of the biggest reasons i asked out mauve, them encouraging me the whole time. the relationship was good, no real issues other than communication but we got that fixed pretty quickly.
in june of 2023, mauve asked me if we could start a roleplay of my special interest. i said yes and because i was close with dairy at the time and i got them into it, i asked if they were okay with dairy joining. despite them both kinda hating each other at this point, mauve said yes.
we became a trio of sorts, but i started suspecting mauve of liking dairy multiple times and kindly asked him about it, where he said no.
in april of 2024, dairy told both me and mauve that he grew a crush on both of us. i was honestly very conflicted but just went with whatever mauve wanted, and mauve accepted on both of our behaves since i was at band practice and busy that day. immediately after that, dairy used an amount confession bot in a server with mostly my friende in to talk about getting about both of us. he said very kind words about mauve, complimenting him for his looks and writing skills. all i got was a joke about my type. this is the first of many instances where i was sidelined for mauve.
a few days later of us getting together, something relating to my csa happened. my assaulter had found my instagram, viewed my stories and i had a dm request from her. this caused me to spiral, and dairy was never there for me. due to this and dairy's constant favoritism of mauve, i talked to dboy a lot about it. he told me to break up with them in a very blunt way, saying he couldn't see this go well in any single way. i ignored him. i also talked to my closest friends at the time, and they gave me the same answer and they told me that they never liked dairy. that they were too mean, not empathetic at all and that he seemed like he thought he was superior to them due to him being a year older.
i was constantly ignored when i was venting and i was never asked to call with either of them. dairy very clearly just preferred mauve over me, and the only way i could get attention was by sending selfies of myself for a cheap compliment.
a few months go by and tensions grow, to where one of my friends (ill call them pencil) dm me. i dont like pencil at all, especially during this time so i was sending the screenshots to both mauve and dairy to clown on pencil. they tell me how none of my friends like mauve and dairy, how theyre worried about me and how even from their pov i seem sidelined. i didn't tell mauve or dairy how i spiraled and 'talked shit' about them to my irl friends, and dairy became very upset over this. i apologized many times, where they 'forgave' me. i also apologized to mauve and he immediately saw where i was mentally and actually forgave me.
a bit later, dairy asks me and mauve to take a break from the relationship. he cites that it has to do with my jealousy and how my friends dont like him, and how he felt he damaged me and mauves relationship. i said he didn't and that he didn't need to apologize but respected his choice. he then says i did damage how he saw me romantically and that it wasn't my fault. i go ahead and break up with both dairy and mauve but we all agree to stay friends.
ok now that we have the lore , my crash out thoughts about it
IF YOU CANT HANDLE DATE A MENTALLY ILL PERSON DONT DO IT. IF YOU KNOW YOU ARENT POLYAMOROUS AND ONLY WANTED TO BE WITH ONE PERSON(MAUVE) JUST ASK ME LIKE HOW YOU DID IN 2021. DONT STRING ME ALONG AND CALL ME THE 'PRETTIEST PERSON' YOUVE MET AND DEADASS ONLY CARE WHEN I SEND MIRROR PICS OF MYSELF. i have the BIGGEST insecurity ever of being second due to always being second, and this just REINFORCED IT SOO MUCH and ohh my lord i could make 100 more posts about dairy.
me and mauve are back together though so who really fucking won 🤭🤞
