unfortunately the porn i was going to write is now 30 pages of slow burn so thats how my life is going right now
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unfortunately the porn i was going to write is now 30 pages of slow burn so thats how my life is going right now
💥️If the only thing you practice is appreciation, your LIFE would improve in ways you never thought possible. -Abraham Hicks
I did it. I beat Elden Ring. My first soulsborne, and now I can be a grumpy elitist gamer backseating twitch chats around the world. Jokes aside I really enjoyed the game. It was a little comical how easy the last couple fights were after I trained in Malenia’s gravity chamber, but that’s how it goes lol. Final boss was gorgeous too even if it was kind of out of nowhere.
Here's a psa about depression okay
I've had this fucker for 11 years, 8 years officially diagnosed and I've been on antidepressants for 7 years. I've been in hospitals and care homes for 4 years and I'm now fostered (even though I'm an adult wow cool) because of how unwell I got, and in December, I almost lost my life. Lately, I've been relapsing. I've had days where I've been screaming and sobbing with the agony of just existing. You can't see it, but sometimes depression is just THAT painful.
Here's the thing: today, I experienced half an hour of feeling content and dare I say...happy. That sounds like nothing, I know, but the point is this:
I felt happy.
You haven't always felt this low. You are capable of feeling positive emotions - you felt them once, and they will creep their way back into your life. No matter how bad it gets, you have the capacity to feel okay again, and you will. I never thought I'd ever experience happy again in my life, and today I did. It was half an hour and perhaps that's the only half an hour I'm getting this year, but that half an hour is HOPE.
Today I went to work and I met my coworkers and boss and they were all neat and I was happy and saw a teacher from high school who remembered me and was actually really happy to see me and said he was using one of my projects as an example three years later. And I cooked food, really cooked for lunch And I gave my dog an impromptu bath because he dashed the door and got into poison ivy ;-; And I took care of myself before bed instead of just plopping in And Ive been taking my medication regularly for the past few weeks And the people around me are kind and I'm more or less comfortable And I'm getting better. I think. I hope so. I really hope so. I hope this isn't another temporary kick. I need to be healing. I really need to be doing better.
Feeling a lot better now, actually.. Thank you Naru. I hope I didn't drain you if you see this. 🫂🫶😭
It's been a very long time since I've felt like I'm allowed to have a friend offline.. And I realized a lot during our conversation. I realized I've felt crazy for the better part of my relationship. I've been making myself smaller to make them happy because at some point they did become my FP.
It's time to make myself my FP.
I will NOT cry while editing photos I will not