#positivity tips

[knucklesex]

Instagram: selfcarewithwall

[smiles-advice]

***Self Care***

⭐️Try to clear your schedule a little to make time for yourself

⭐️Eat regular meals, with other people

⭐️Don’t stay in bed all day, no matter how much you may want to

⭐️Log out of all your social media accounts if its making you feel worse

⭐️Just get dressed. Change from one pair of pjs to another

⭐️Go to sleep at a reasonable time, don’t stay up all night

⭐️Try to go on a walk. It can be for five minutes or fifty, just get outside

⭐️Listen to some music. But only music that’ll make you smile

⭐️Try some herbal teas (so many different ones that are supposed to help with so many different things)

[citroentje]

A big note on self love

For the last six months, I’ve been travelling to Australia to work on myself.  When I booked the flight, I had just quit my job. It wasn’t just the job itself that I hated, it was the entire industry I was in. Marketing felt unethical, capitalistic and very empty. It’s total bullshit. When I booked the flight, I never really felt at home in my apartment. On my own, above a fucking bar, in a big city. When I booked the flight, I just turned 24 and I still hadn’t been kissed, which caused a lot of self-hate and doubt. I expected to get my first kiss when I was 14, not ten years later. And to top it all off: when I booked the flight, I just turned 24, and I wasn’t able to celebrate my birthday because I didn’t have any friends anymore to invite.

All those pillars that usually build your life (work, friends, love life, hobbies, a home); I saw them all crumbling down. All at the same time, right before my eyes. I got very depressed and I cried every day. It felt like the ticket to Australia was the only light at the end of the tunnel. 

During my travels, I had a lot of time to think about those pillars. What was it that needed to change? What were the aspects that I did like about my job? What did I miss in my apartment? How could I possibly make new friends?

Yesterday, I got back home. I feel like I found a sense of direction for most of those pillars. But I realized that the biggest thing that needs to change is me. When I talked about myself to other people, I noticed how insecure and negative my words were. I used to hate it when people preached about self love, and to some extent, I still do. It’s great that you love yourself, but don’t shove it down my troat. However, I learned that self love is not the same as narcissism. And I sure as hell could use some of it.

Below are some personal insights, some of which might help you too. 

SOME PERSONAL INSIGHTS 

Job

When it comes to my job, I think I might want to become a jeweller. Because the more I thought about it, the more sense it seemed to make. 

- First of all: making jewellery is very creative, and that’s what I really want to do with my life. To work with my hands and create something new and beautiful and luxurious. - Jewellery can be very meaningful. I would love to make the rings for your wedding, design a personal necklace or fix your beloved grandfathers watch.  - It’s sustainable, especially when you compare it to cheap fashion or technology. People don’t throw away their silver and gold.  - Jewellery is gonna stay, especially if the rich keep getting richer. Also, people will never ever buy their wedding rings at H&M. So hopefully I won’t have to worry about the robots taking over.  - I can be my own boss and not have to deal with managers, consultants or stupid ass meetings anymore to not talk about stuff I don’t care about. - Yes, becoming a jeweller is way below my intelligence and education. Try to get over it.   

Home 

- I need roommates. I hated the quiet house and lack of contact with my neighbours.  - I need to live somewhere close to nature. I want to be able to walk in the park, go to the beach or cycle in a forest. - Speaking of which, I want flowers in my house. - And music. I always forget to turn on the radio.  

Friends + Love Life

These are the ones I found to be most difficult. Even in Australia, where you meet new backpackers every single day, it’s hard to find friends that will actually stick around. But I do have some ideas: 

-  Find a teamsport. Yoga was all fun and games but there were not a lot of bonding or common goals involved.  - Same with hobbies.  - Make a habit of sharing your food. Free cupcakes every Monday morning or something. Everybody loves food. - Literally ask for it. If you have a single friend who is very social, ask him/her if he/she knows anyone else that might fit you.  - Go to places where you can easily meet new people. Book a few days in a hostel for no good reason. Look for activities and festivals in your area. Be open when doing so. - Anyone is a possible friend. Don’t write people off too soon.  - Superficial relationship are relationships too. Small talk is talk too.  - What is it that you like about your friends? Is it their intelligence, their humour, their care, their selfconfidance? You might want to look for that in new relationships too. 

Self love

- You may not even believe in it, but count your good karma. Is it simply very fortunate that the sun shines on your birthday, or did you do something to deserve it?  It helps you to count your blessings and take some credit for it too. - Your brain loves change. Redecorate your room, visit a new city and look for anything that stimulates your brain, like a museum or street art. Break your patterns: eat something different for breakfast or take another route to work. New stuff makes your brain very happy.  - Search for transcendentic experiences. Look at the stars and feel small. Watch the sunset and feel connected to the universe. See a skeleton of a dinosaur and ponder how old the Earth is. Think about that time when you were in a limestone cave/cathedral and they played an acapella version of Hallelujah in the dark and for a full second you believed God existed. If it makes you quiet, it’s probably working.  - Take self love seriously. Look for blogs, videos, apps and write about it. If you want to change, it really starts with your mindset and beliefs. If you don’t believe in it, it won’t work. - After that: practice, practice, practice. If you want to be more social, try to speak up every now and then. If you want to be more cuddly, try to touch people a bit more often. Practice makes perfect.  - Meditate and use self hypnosis. Again, if you don’t believe it’ll work, it sure as hell won’t. All hail the placebo effect.  - Write down what’s awesome about you. Writing about self love is not narcisissm. It’s about making your thoughts more graspable.  - Be creative. Put your feelings into a piece of art and look for inspiration, like visiting a museum or looking at street art.  - Last but not least the cliché stuff: turn on music, wander around nature, find a new hobby, blah blah blah. 

[positivepastel]

How to stay Positive 🐝

1. Be yourself. Live authentically. To quote Dr. Suess, “There is no one alive that is you’er than you.” Don’t try to be someone you’re not to impress people. You will always be happiest when you are being your true self.

2. Contribute to the world in any way that you can. Maybe for you that’s picking up garbage on your way home from work, or giving money to a homeless person on the street, but you will become a more positive person if you are giving back.

3. Be grateful. Acknowledge how fortunate you are and be thankful that you have simple things like heating, food, and shelter. If you are grateful you will always be able to think more positively.

4. Be optimistic. So maybe you missed your 10:30 showing of Beauty And The Beast, are there later showings? Can you plan a rain check? Wouldn’t coffee be nice instead?

5. Surround yourself with positive people. Odds are, if you spend your time with negative people you’ll become more negative. When we are around positive people we become more positive ourselves.

6. Don’t be discouraged. You will never fail until you stop trying!

7. Be a realist. Everyone has their bad days, everyone. Lest,  I remind you that Walt Disney, J.K. Rowling, and Steven Spielberg, were all rejected before they ever succeeded.

8. Be like Elsa and let it go. Okay so Elsa may not have been the most positive person at first, but by the end of the movie she learned to make a positive out of what was once a negative situation! Don’t hold on to anger, fear, or hurt. Keep moving forward and forgive others and yourself.

9. Help someone else. It’s so easy to make someone’s entire day. Compliment someone’s new clothes or hair cut, hold doors open for people, smile at strangers and share inspirational quotes with friends. You will feel so much happier and positive if you make someone else feel that way.

10. Kick fear to the curb. Stop letting “what if’s” control your life. Be brave and trying something new, or do something that might scare you. Doing something is always better than doing nothing; you might just surprise yourself!

11. Stop and smell the roses. Appreciate everything around you: sights, smells, music. When we don’t take time to breathe we become stressed.

12. Put down those chips. Junk food might make you feel good for a moment but it will only make you feel unhappy down the road. Swap a milkshake for a smoothie, Soda for a glass of water or a cup of green tea, ice cream for a fruit bowl and so on. We can actually eat a lot more raw foods than processed foods without gaining weight or feeling bloated.

13. Get out there. Make plans! Stop scrolling through instagram and snap stories feeling bad about yourself because it’s a Friday night and you’re at home. It’s always nice to stay in every now and then but it’s also enjoyable to get out into the world and socialize.

14. Get your beauty sleep. 7 hours minimum to function and 8 ideally. It’s impossible to be positive when you’re cranky from not getting enough z’s.

15. Exercise. Find the exercise for you. Maybe it’s swimming, hiking, cycling, yoga, dance, or basketball. Working out will make you feel powerful, happy, and accomplished.

16. Don’t compare yourself to others. Other people’s beauty does not take away from your own. Yes, Sarah from math class has a really nice smile…but have you seen yours? Wow.

17. Accept yourself.  Change what you can change and love what you can’t.

18. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Take yourself out of the situation. Is this really a big deal? Will it affect you tomorrow? What about next week? Next month?

19. Be empathetic. Your friend just cancelled your plans for the evening because he is feeling too anxious. What can you say to show him that you’re accepting of his situation? Can you offer up an alternative plan? People want to spend time with people who are kind and accepting of them.

20. Accept that life isn’t linear. There are always going to be ups and downs and that is absolutely normal! You just have to ride the wave  instead of letting yourself drown.

[smiles-advice]

⭐️How to love yourself⭐️

💛Focus on you. Put yourself first.

💛Take care of your body. It is your home, your temple, so worship it yourself.

💛Remove negative comparisons.

💛In fact, don’t compare yourself to anyone, you are you and you are beautiful.

💛Drop toxic people. It’s the thing no one wants to do, but see the first tip.

💛Eat well. It goes alongside taking care of your body.

💛Spread love and kindness. If you do good for someone, you’ll feel so much better about yourself.

[smiles-advice]

Start your day happy:

😁Plan your outfit the night before.

😁Drink water once you’ve woken up, before you drink anything else.

😁Sit down at a table and have an actual breakfast.

😁Don’t use technology until after you’ve had breakfast. Give your mind some time to wake up without a screen.

😁Make your bed. This way, you’re starting your day off with something completed.

😁Always brush your teeth. Not only is it hygienic, but you’ll feel a lot better knowing your teeth aren’t funky and your breath is fresh.

😁Try some yoga or simple stretching.

[nobelcoachingandtutoring]

We spoke before about the power of thoughts. When you encounter an obstacle on your way, you can look at it as trouble, plunging into the negative mindset, or you can choose to see it as a challenge. Once we start seeing things as challenges, we have more motivation to overcome them, and we tend to believe in our abilities more.