So...life update
A few things.
1. We finally got our roof fixed. Woo-hoo, we did it. Well with a lot of help of course but we did.
2. However, we still need to get the interior done. Which means my room is still uninhabitable. There's black mold and still a big hole in the ceiling. We have someone to do the interior but it might take a little while since the room has to be completely cleared out. Meaning I still don't have a space of my own, im still sleeping in the living room.
This...is exhausting. My whole existence as of late has just been exhausting. Even on my days off im tired emotionally and mentally and I don't really want to do much. Im not saying I'm doing terribly, but I'm not doing the absolute best either. Its hard to find inspiration to write, create, or rp when your whole existence is exhaustion and you don't really want to do anything.
On top of that I don't feel im getting everything I want out of Tumblr. This isn't to say that I don't like Tumblr because I do. This has been my main place to go for years now. I can't even remember when I first started here lol.
But I honestly don't know what to do. My inspiration is incredibly low but I don't want to stop RP-ing altogether. I just wanna be given some time to get my inspiration back. Not helping matters is that I only connect with a few people on here and its not that fun anymore. I can count on like one hand how many friends i have on here. Its even worse when you're too anxious to reach out to try and talk to people.
I don't know why but I find a lot people on here to be kind of unapproachable. But not because I think people on here are assholes or anything, oh no! Far from! It's mostly because I think a lot of them are like super talented and stuff, and I feel I don't deserve to interact with them if that makes sense. I generally don't believe in "leagues" but I find a lot of people id like to write with are kinda...beyond me, if that makes sense? I know this is purely a me thing and im trying to work on that. No easy feat im afraid.
All this to say im not dead, but more like dormant. Im exhausted, especially mentally. My focus has been on trying to get by, and plus I have trauma surrounding the holidays which also doesn't help. I'll probably be taking a break for a short while, I really just wanna get my life in order.
Thanks
