This might be taboo to say on a body positivity blog, but I'm losing weight intentionally.
While I'm not on it *now* (im in the states and on vacation so it'd be unreasonable to try), it was working pretty well.
I'm going for a straightforward calorie deficit. Try to have my activity higher than intake, give or take a bit, don't go lower than a certain amount.
And honestly? Accepting my body as it is, was the ONLY way this was going to work. My motives couldn't be "i fucking hate myself and need to change to be acceptable". My motives were "my snoring is unstoppable and I've tested and tried everything except for losing weight. It causes me pain when I walk too far because of thigh chafing, and back pain sucks" I don't want to be skinny after, hell, I like my soft and curvy self. Going to the actual "healthy" weight according to Bullshit BMI would mean my tiny ass would fly out the window if you hit a bump on the highway.
Being kinder, and loving my body means that I can take it slow, take it at my own pace, and not beat myself up on a day where my goals aren't achieved (i have three. 10k steps a day, 3L of water a day, and stay under some type of deficit. As long as 1/3 is achieved, I'm happy. If 0/3 is achieved, hey i can try again tomorrow. Were it not for fat liberation philosophies, I'd be having breakdown after breakdown).
I can be at this for a month, noticed I've lost 7 lbs and instead of going "WHY AM I A FAILURE I NEED TO GO HARDER ABOUT THIS" i can say "neat! That's about the rate I wanna be going!"
Staying on these body positive and fat liberation spaces made me say "hey, the difference between "good food" and "bad food" is awful. I'm gonna succeed, but I'm not going to cut out any food that makes me happy." I can say "alright, I'm cutting it close to my limit, but fuck it, I'm still hungry so I'll make myself a snack, because listening to my body is more important than numbers".
Losing weight will not make me more worthy. I am worthy at whatever weight I am. For those who it matters to, I'm pretty damn hot, no matter my weight. It will not make me immune from health issues, and this doesn't have anything to do with morality. My health status, if it changes, will be because I'm active and hydrating more, not because of the number on the scale.
I just want less thigh chafing without remembering to put deodorant or some shit on my thighs. I want to not snore while I'm in bed with my fiancé (and yeah sleep apnea apparently isn't it, got it tested). I want less back pain when I'm standing at a till for 4.5 hours, even if I've got the world's best shoes on. It's not health reasons, it's inconvenience reasons.
But I could never be successful about it until i disentangled fatphobia from weight loss. Until i stopped saying "these foods are bad, these foods are good", I was always going to fail. Until i stopped believing I was worthless because of my fat, until i stopped saying "I need to lose weight and do it now because I need to be hot", it was never going to work.
There's still things I need to work on, I'm not totally cured, and maybe some days the ED's gonna influence. Hell, idk if this weight loss attempt will stick, and be successful once I get to my goal weight. But even as someone who's trying to lose weight, fat liberation is so important.
Because without the idea that being fat is totally okay, I'd be unable to enjoy myself in the times where it's absolutely unreasonable to count calories. I'd have my goal as "stick thin" and not "how I look now, just less chafe". By the end of this, I'll still be medically overweight.
And btw I still believe in Health at Every Size. Your weight has no fucking impact on your worth, your health, your beauty, ANYTHING.
