#post naboo

[val-aquenta]

Here for the angstpril prompt: Nightmares

Here on ao3

The moment kept repeating, even bleeding into his everyday life. When he slept, he heard the soft snarls of the zabrak sith paired with the quiet huff of surprise from Qui-Gon. He saw the red saber go into and then through Qui-Gon, the tip poking out of his back. When he woke, he could swear that he saw the bright red flashing in the corner of his eyes. 

“Mr. Obi-Wan? Are you ok?” Anakin asked, startling Obi-Wan for a moment. He had sworn that… that… nevermind. 

“Sorry, sorry Anakin. My head is in the clouds today.” Anakin blinked, large eyes, oh they were rather adorable, looking at him questioningly. “My head’s not with me right now.”

“But… it’s on your shoulders?” Anakin asked, head tilting sideways. “Has it been cut off?!” Anakin sprung forwards, small hands reaching out to him. 

Obi-Wan chuckled, holding Anakin’s hands gently in his. They were rather small, he noted. “No, don’t worry. My head’s on my shoulders.” He wondered on the best way to try and explain to Anakin. “Just not thinking in the present.”

“Oh. Lost in thought?” He asked eagerly. He was always so eager and ready to ask for information, often firing off questions faster than Obi-Wan would answer. 

“Yes.”

Anakin hummed softly, hands squeezing at Obi-Wan’s fingers. “Well… what’re you thinking about?”

“Just… stuff.” He finished lamely, looking at Anakin to see the unimpressed stare. “Well, I guess I’m thinking of Master Qui-Gon.”

“Oh really? He was really wizard.” Anakin said, following as Anakin continued moving down the hallways to their quarters. “I liked him a lot.”

Obi-Wan nodded. “Yes he was.” They trailed off into silence. It wasn’t exactly awkward, but it was nothing like the comfortable silences he and Qui-Gon had before Naboo and their disagreement. Qui-Gon was not a silent man, but he enjoyed simply sitting and experiencing life, often finding time in the morning for meditation before he watered his plants. Obi-Wan was quite quiet then, too in awe of his Master to do much outside of meditate with him or prepare breakfast and, by the time the awe had gone, Obi-Wan was not one to ask questions so often like Anakin. Melida/Daan and other debacles had also made him quiet around Qui-Gon, prefering to follow the man’s lead rather than proposing his own. 

They reached their quarters, entering and having dinner. Anakin ate an extra fruit, he seemed to enjoy them a lot, before he was off to bed. Obi-Wan always found himself quite surprised by the silence of the rooms after Anakin was asleep, his rather loud and bright presence filling up the empty places Obi-Wan did not really know how to fill. Obi-Wan sat down for a long night of studying. While secondary education was not strictly necessary for Jedi knights, nor was it necessary for civilians, Obi-Wan wanted to finish his course. He was on his final year before Qui-Gon had died and had to repeat due to him missing out on large chunks of the course. He was almost done, the final exams being the only thing left.

Time stretched on as he read on sources and took notes, standing every now and then to stretch and retrieve a cup of tea or go to the bathroom. It had been around two hours before the first flash made itself known in the corner of his eye. It was green and red meeting violently. He turned quickly and only saw the emptiness of their quarters. The speeders outside whooshed past. Obi-Wan blinked a few times before hesitantly turning back to his reading. That was when he fell asleep, curled up on the couch, a throw blanket warming his legs and a half-dull datapad strewn on his lap. 

The world was bathed in red. The small circular room seemed to pulse in red, almost like a heart pulsing as it pushed blood in and then out. He had been too slow. The shame burned low in his gut. He sniffed a bit and tried to get his breathing under control. The two opponents circled each other, exchanging brief clashes. Obi-Wan was past the point where he thought Qui-Gon invincible and he could see that the man was exhausted. His eyes followed them avidly. There was a moment of silence before another clash of blades. He counted, only a few more seconds before the barrier lifted. More silence and then another quick clash. Qui-Gon broke it off, stepping back. Five more seconds… They went for another clash. The zabrak pushed his double sided saber up, the hilt smashing against Qui-Gon’s face, dazing him. Obi-Wan watched, horrified, as the blade sunk into the man’s unprotected stomach. He could feel the pain pulsing against his own mind, felt it as though to some degree, someone had sunk something deep into his gut. 

He cried out. The zabrak turned to him, only it wasn’t truly the zabrak anymore. It was… him? “We did this.” He… it spoke? Obi-Wan stepped back, only to be reminded of the shield behind him stinging his back. “You were too slow. Unpracticed. Unskilled.” It rattled off, dispassionately, his tone indifferent. Obi-Wan shook his head. That was not true, he had done his best, had tried his hardest to reach Qui-Gon. “Did you, though? Or were you still angry that he had chosen a runt from Tatooine over you.” There was a sneer pulling it’s face into a horrid look, one he hoped never graced his own. “You… wanted this. Wanted to punish him.” Obi-Wan shook his head, saber lit in his hand. He… he loved Qui-Gon despite the man’s flaws. He had apologised to him. Qui-Gon loved him too. “No. He was my Master.” The other Obi-Wan laughed and midway through the laugh grew deeper, transformed into the rough baritone he knew. Their surroundings changed until they were in an empty Council chambers. 

“Was I? You were weak. Powerless compared to Ani.” Obi-Wan had never heard Qui-Gon’s voice this way. Even his calm and emotionless tone from when he was younger was not as bad as this anger at him, this hate towards him. “I gave you up, Padawan,” he spat the title out, “I didn’t want you.” Obi-Wan’s eyes welled up with tears. He’d… known that. Qui-Gon had seemed to be so ready to dispose of him, especially early on. To be reminded of it again was painful. “I died because of you.” Qui-Gon placed a hand on his shoulder. “Murderer. You should not even be a Jedi for what you’ve done. You should be expelled, put in prison, left to rot.” 

“Master… please. I couldn’t-” Obi-Wan tried to cut in, wriggling away from the hand on his shoulder.

“And now you think you can teach? What idiocy.” Qui-Gon looked away huffing incredulously. “We’ll be lucky if Anakin isn’t dead by the end.”

“You asked me to teach him.” Obi-Wan countered hotly. 

“My mistake.” Qui-Gon answered. “You know it’s your fault. You know it. Just admit it.” He growled out. Obi-Wan’s mouth opened to contradict him, but nothing came out. His arms wrapped around his shoulders. He shuddered. “I knew it. Weak. Pathetic. Waste of my time.” Obi-Wan’s head bowed down in acceptance, his heart burning as though Qui-Gon had reached into his chest and grabbed it. He blinked, moisture falling slowly down his cheek. “It should have been you.” That… that rung true in his own head. He wished occasionally that he had run forwards instead of Qui-Gon. That he had died and his Master survived. Qui-Gon stood, frozen it appeared in front of him, a silent statue of contempt and anger. He risked a glance up before darting his eyes back down, shame rising quickly. He did not deserve to.

Obi-Wan blinked awake, feeling moisture on his cheeks. He rubbed at his chest as though that might alleviate the terrible pain there. As he breathed in, he found himself shuddering, on the brink of dissolving into sobs. He didn’t want to wake Anakin though. He’d already ruined so much for the boy and for Qui-Gon and for the Jedi and the Republic and everyone. He sat there until morning came and Anakin’s waking presence could be felt. At least, he hoped he wouldn’t fuck up breakfast too.

[inkognito97]

How about an Au in which Obi-wan, in a response to his own feelings of inadequacy and Anakin’s comments about wishing Qui-gon had survived to be his master, attempts to become Qui-gon. I mean the beard, the hair, the negotiation skills, the mannerisms and affectations…they’re ALL Qui-gon’s. But after Anakin overhears a council member talk about how they haven’t seen the real Obi-wan in a long time, Anakin does some serious reflection and wonders if Obi-wan didn’t die that day on Naboo.

@jennablackfox

Anakin had not been sure about the beard and the long hair at first. It had certainly looked… different and he WAS quite jealous that he had to endure this horrendous hair cut, while Obi-Wan was able to let his hair grow. But something about the changed appearance, made the man look more… well more. He looked older and wiser. The hair just added to that part. Obi-Wan was not the skinny young man Anakin had first encountered, he had become a teacher in the blonde’s eyes.

But what the blonde Padawan could not - and most likely never would - understand, was the man’s taste in tea. That stuff was horrendous, especially the way the older male drank it, namely without anything against the bitterness of the herbs. It was just terrible. Anakin had tasted it on his Mater’s cup and he had forced himself not to spit it out right then and there. He had only received a raised eyebrow for the grimace he had made, but without a comment, the older Jedi had gone back to enjoying his drink. 

In fact, the ginger haired male did not seem to be a man of much words, unless they were on a diplomatic mission. Then Anakin was usually spectator to his Master’s skill. It was astonishing how easy he could intimidate the people, by just standing with his arms in his sleeves and hood drawn over his head. He was not tall by nature, but in these moments, he looked like a giant. One cold gaze of him, could quieten a loud debate, though his presence alone was usually enough to bring peace.

Another thing that defined Obi-Wan, was his tendency to make a greenhouse out of their shared quarters. Anakin would sometimes joke that the older Jedi was trying to turn him into a plant too, it usually earned him an amused smile and if he was lucky, a friendly pat to the shoulder. And not to forget the incident with the three Convorees’ chicks the man had brought back to the temple. Their nest had been destroyed and the birds would have died, at least that is what Obi-Wan had said, when he had returned to the transport with three animals hidden in his robes. He just seemed to have a tendency to attract pathetic lifeforms that needed his help. Sometimes Anakin was not so sure if they were all as safe as Obi-Wan said they were and sometimes Anakin felt like one of the pet projects too, but then Obi-Wan would put his hand on his shoulder after a good training session and all the doubt was gone. 

Despite the man’s oddness and his tendency to loose his robes, Anakin was glad to have such a skilled and well respected Master, even though the man seemed cold and distant sometimes. He simply enjoyed being the Padawan of the Sith-Killer, as Obi-Wan was called and every time that name came up, it was said with awe and astonishment. 

It was only during a walk from one of the more secluded meditation gardens back to the apartment he shared with Obi-Wan, that Anakin’s view on his Master drastically changed. He had not meant to eavesdropped, especially not since it was Mace Windu and another Council member, whose name the Padawan had forgotten, talking. He had intended to keep on walking, when suddenly, he had heard his Master’s name had been said and his curiosity had been spiked. 

“Master Yoda still refuse to sit down and have a talk with him?” the unknown Council member said.

“Indeed,” this was Mace Windu’s voice. “He thinks that Obi-Wan needs more time to heal, but if you ask me… I am not sure he will ever heal, not without help. Adi, I see a dark future for him, if he continues like this.”

The female Jedi, who Anakin assumed was Adi, nodded in agreement. “It’s been too long since we saw the real Obi-Wan, not this… pretender.”

“You have noticed it too then?” Anakin wondered what they were talking about and he carefully took a step closer to the door so that he might catch every word that was being uttered.

“Of course. The signs are hard to miss, don’t you think? He is practically BECOMING a second Qui-Gon Jinn. This is not healthy.”

The dark skinned Council member grumbled and gave a curt nod. “Thank the Force that he is not as openly defiant as his old Master had been, though something tells me that it can only be a matter of time.”

“Mace, he already IS defying the Council and the Jedi Code… is just subtle about it.” A sigh escaped the female Jedi. “I am deeply worried about him.”

“Me too…”

Anakin had heard enough. On stealthy feet he moved away from the door. Only when he was sure that he was far enough away not to be heard, did he run to the Rooms of a Thousand Fountains. The Fountain Room would be crowded at this time of the day and therefore Obi-Wan would not be there. Anakin knew that his Master liked his privacy and lived a rather isolated life, therefore it was the perfect opportunity for Anakin to sit down and think about what he just overheard. It was not a daily occasion that two Council members were so deeply worried about another Jedi. Also, what they had said had left strange feeling in Anakin’s chest.

When he had finally reached his goal, the blonde Padawan did not hesitate to climb upon one of the larger trees. He might not be able to kneel on the branches, but he could sit there without being spotted. It would be enough for a light meditation.

Was it true what he heard? Was this really not Obi-Wan? Anakin wondered if everything he thought he knew about the man that he called Master, was a lie. He should have known that it was too good to be true, then again… was he not at fault too? It was HIM, who had told the ginger haired male over and over again that he missed Qui-Gon. He had not thought about Obi-Wan’s own grief… Anakin suddenly felt sorry for his Master. Obi-Wan has lost someone dear to him on Naboo, but the Padawan wondered, if he didn’t die a little too on that day…

[inkognito97]

Can I prompt some Qui/Obi fluff please? Post Naboo?

He should be sleeping, Obi-Wan knows that, but he cannot help it. He had come so close to lose the most important person in his life and he would not, COULD not leave his side. Even though the healers were threatening to sedate him or throw him out permanently. Obi-Wan could just not bear the thought of not being there, when Qui-Gon woke up again. He did not want to abandon his former Master, especially not when there was so much left unsaid between them.

It was deep in the night, when Obi-Wan awoke. It was funny, he had not even realized that he had fallen asleep in the first place. He regretted it now however. The chairs were not very comfortable and the way his neck had been bend with his head near Qui-Gon’s hip, had caused some pain and stiffness. it would not go away anytime soon, Obi-Wan was sure of it. He was about to silently curse, when something else came to the front of his mind. What had awakened him?

Blue-green eyes narrowed and he instinctively looked at the bearded male. Qui-Gon’s eyes were still close, but a brief glance towards the countless monitors he was attached to, told Obi-Wan that it could only be a matter of time until the older male would fully awake. Childish glee erupted in the young Knight’s chest. Technically he was still a Padawan until the braid was cut off, but Obi-Wan had postponed the ceremony so that Qui-Gon would cut the braid that also belonged to him.

A groan escaped the Jedi Master and he moved his head a bit. His large hand clenched and opened a few times, as if he was searching for something. Without thinking about it, Obi-wan grabbed the other’s fingers and wrapped his own around them. Almost immediately did the injured man settle again. Slowly, midnight blue eyes blinked open and they immediately settled on the ginger haired male next to him.

“Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon breathed out and he struggled to raise the hand that Obi-Wan had previously held. He did not come far and the former Padawan decided to take mercy on the injured man. He took the large hand between his own and pressed it against his cheek, similar to the brief caress on Naboo.

“Welcome back,” his voice shook a little, but Obi-Wan did not care. He had sat nights and days next to the long haired male, washing and taking care of him. Sometimes he had been joined by Master Yoda or Windu and quite often he had been joined by Anakin. 

He and the boy had talked. Obi-Wan had apologized or his words, even though he still thought that the boy was dangerous. Then again, everyone with much power was.

“Obi,” it was obvious he wanted to say something, they way his eyes saddened said it all, but an ugly cough interrupted him. 

Obi-Wan immediately jumped into action. He pulled the wounded man into a sitting position and steadied him, knowing that the man would not be able to steady himself at this point. When the coughs had stopped, he gently lowered Qui-Gon back onto the pillows and he stood to retrieve a glass of water. He helped the Master to drink slowly.

“Thank you,” his voice sounded better now.

For a moment neither male said anything. The only sound in the small room was the steady beeping of the heart monitor.

“Master…” Obi-Wan began, but he stopped, when he saw the pained look in midnight blue eyes.

“Am I really?” Qui-Gon asked, before the ginger haired male could ask what the matter was.

“Of course you are,” the younger male sounded scandalized and he kneeled on the mattress, which allowed him to bend down and to rest his cheek against Qui-Gon’s. The man’s beard was a little scratchy, but Obi-Wan did not care, not even when he pressed a loving kiss against it. “I missed you.”

Qui-Gon grimaced and fought against the tears that were threatening to spill from his closed eyes. “After all I have said and done?” He could not believe it.

“Of course,” Obi-Wan answered without any hesitation. “Of course we need to talk… but for now, I am just glad you are alive, that you have returned… to me.” That was very much the truth.

A gentle and slightly trembling finger caressed a freckled cheek and the owner of said cheek smiled. Things weren’t perfect, but he was confident that they could get better. They just needed time and the Force knew, they had a lot to spare.