#post-con depression

[brinara]

Me: I'm ready for the sweet embrace of death

Family: So how was the con?

Me: It was fantastic, actually.

[magiciancelemis]

Dear friends--

I feel hideous

For all the times I’ve shown my ugly, raw emotions

I feel like I’m unworthy of friendships anymore

Friendships that revolve around my passions -  art, music, cosplay, anime

I mean well in all my actions, all the deeds I’ve done for our friendship

I’m sorry for being so, so human to you

My anxiety is pushing my limits

Please forgive me

Only through reality, in the flesh, should you see me in this state

When can I say goodbye to you, one last time--

[princesshildaofhyrule]

I really just want to be with all my friends again..

[maddiewilliamsxoxo]

MUNDAY/Camp Anime

I had a really great time at Camp Anime 2K15

I got to see my beautiful Kuro and my Beautiful Gakupo. It was an amazing weekend and I met some amazing people. <3 

[godshank]

Post G-Fest Be Like

Fuck.

[foxilery]

I’m experiencing post-con depression

More Uta (Tokyo Ghoul) art would make me feel better. I have money. Let me commission yoooouuu 

seriously though. I got a gorgeous sketch of him done yesterday. didn’t realize you could commission people there until too late. huge regret. huge. massive. btw I like traditional art I can hold in my hand and be like ‘woooooooow’

[winonaflammery]

I’ve had a hard time connecting with people for a long while, but I feel like it’s getting worse lately, and it’s killing me. I’ve always been rather shy, but every year I go without making a new meaningful, close connection, I close myself off a little further, and it just gets harder and harder to actually trust people. I want to be able to talk to people freely. I want a friend I can message in the middle of the night if I’m having a heavy crying fit and need someone to talk to. And yet, I’m always afraid the people I’m talking to are silently judging me, or just jutting along because they’re too polite to say anything, so I keep quiet.

It’s always especially bad after a con. I love cons. I feel welcome, like I belong. All the others there are as weird as me. It’s wonderful. And yet, they always also make me feel worse, and it’s especially apparent after I get home. I see all those people making new friends for life, large groups of friends hanging around, friends who’re so close they can tell each other everything, and it brings all my insecurities back full force. And even the relaxed con-atmosphere cannot make my shyness go away enough so as to make me able to make proper friends. Even there, I’m still afraid people will find me odd if I try to initiate a conversation. So I don’t.

I put on a smile, but it’s really all a facade. Because the solitude is killing me, and yet I know it’s of my own damn making. But I cannot help it.

[rikadoodle]

Headed home from a long weekend. Took plenty of pictures, so I will be posting them once I get home! Goodbye Anime Matsuri, until next year!