#pratt jacob

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Pratt: I think Jacob likes me.

Deputy: what? Why?

Pratt: he called me a dog and he loves his wolves.

Deputy:

Deputy: Staci, this is not-

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Jacob and Staci literally:

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Me reading Jacob/Staci fanfic where both of them are extremely traumatized but there's horny level that can meet my needs

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OK JUST HEAR ME OUT.

Deputy x John, but Deputy reveals themself as a powerful demon that was just having fun and randomly brakes ropes in the confession room

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My life if farcry5 never existed:

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My first post probably should be something cool but guess what? I'M TALKING ABOUT JOHN'S TRAUMAS RN because he's my Roman Empire

Just imagine a hot scene between John and Male Deputy where deputy does something wrong and accidentally hurts John, so he asks him to stop and deputy DOES stop and John is actually stunned and this dialog happens

John: why did you stop?

Deputy: uhhh because you asked me to? You're alright?

John: because I... Asked you too?

Deputy: yes? What's the matter?

John: I don't know. No one ever stops when I ask.

Deputy:

Deputy: *screams in traumatized boyfriend's boyfriend*

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Hi guys I never used Tumblr for real but I got super obsessed with far cry 5 so from now on I'll be shit posting about this game and call Jacob Seed my husband (sometimes John) (I'm flexible Semper Gumby bitches) because this is fucking Tumblr and no one can find me here (if you actually know me in real life BLOCK me this page is my embarrassment) (Dream, you're fine, thanks for always listening my voice messages about John Seed buddy)

2025 update: I relapsed into DC after being out of the fandom for about 6 years. Everyone is doomed. I still love and will occasionally but more rarely post about fc5

Facts about me you should know:

— My name is Alex

— My last name is actually Seed because Jacob and I are married

— I'm not fluent in English and this is YOUR problem

— I'm writing stupid songs about stupid people who broke my stupid heart

— Live laugh love Noah Kahan

— I once lied to my parents that I messed up with buying tickets on a train and this is why I'm late for like 27 (woopsie) hours but in fact I went to another city where I wasn't allowed to go because tf?? I wanted to and no dad I don't give a shit about bombs falling there why would I?

— If you're still struggling to guess where the fuck am I from according to the last fact well I'm Ukrainian

— If you support the terrorist state, you are NOT welcome here

— I love prunes. That means I'm old and you know that.

— Okay if someone is worried I'm actually 20. Kids don't follow me it's for your own good

— I'm bisexual and this is why my husband is occasionally one of the Seeds boys (except Joseph kys Joseph) and my wife is the sister- ok I'm gonna shut up rn (no I love talking about myself). 2025 update: still married to Jacob. That'll never change. Occasionally glancing over to Kate Kane.

— If you wanna text me cuz well you know I'm cool and you wanna be friends DO IT I'll probably answer and we'll be talking about far cry/dc for hours

— I am the eldest sibling of the batfamily. I can show you adoption papers.

— Jason Todd is my precious baby no one touch him

— I have a plushie that looks like something between a cat and a bat and its name is John Seed

— I ship Jacob and Pratt (god forgive me). 2025 update: I ship Ghostbat (god forgive me)

— I'm Joseph's hater okay let's set it straight HE'S GUILTY FOR MY BABY'S DEATH

— When I'm billionaire I'm making far cry 5 series and playing deputy

— Yeah I'm actually a theatre kid so this IS my dream work.

— Sharky is my beloved (and in fact my fav character)

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So. I see all Seeds siblings as bisexual, but here's what I think about their preferences:

Faith prefers women

Jacob prefers men

John doesn't have any preferences. It's good enough if it's moving

Joseph prefers being a piece of shit