I like the idea of Steve already somehow knowing he’s bisexual. He just neglects to tell Robin because she’s a lesbian and probably doesn’t want to hear about all his boy problems, he goes to Nancy for that. Steve knows it’s weird, he just doesn’t really care. Nancy likes boys and therefore probably prefers to talk about them.
Robin is trying to probe and see if Steve likes men and Steve just constantly deflects. It’s like a funky little gossip relay, Robin runs back to Eddie and they’re both frustrated at Steve’s unclear answers.
“He just shrugged at me! THAT’S NOT AN ANSWER!”
Eddie just screeches in response, frustrated.
…
Steve runs back to Nancy and complains about how oblivious Eddie is to his flirting.
“I asked him to go on a date and he just goes ‘sure, I’ve been meaning to see that movie, mind if Dustin comes too?’ NANCY, WHY IS HE SO STUPID?”
“I don’t know, at this point, anything short of asking him to bend you over probably won’t get his attention.”
Steve groans and continues to paint Nancy’s nails.
…
Eventually this boils over when Nancy and Robin are at an Upside Down party get together. Nancy decides to talk about the only thing they have in common, Steve.
Nancy gestures to Eddie and Steve who are both pathetically red faced as they talk.
“Why don’t those idiots get together already, Steve’s crush is getting pathetic?”
“Steve has a crush on Eddie!?”
“Yea, you’re his best friend, don’t you know this?”
“No.”
“Oh shit.”
Nancy whistles, “STEVE, EDDIE, ASSES OVER HERE.”
They come running like shittlily trained dogs scared shitless of the scary lady with a gun.
“Steve, say what you want to say.”
Steve cringes, gesturing vaguely towards Eddie.
“Yes, to Eddie.” Nancy confirms, prompting Eddie and Steve to face each other.
“Wanna bend me over?” Steve says hesitantly, like he’s questioning his own question.
“NOT LIKE THAT!” Nancy scolds, smacking his arm.
Eddie stands there, absolutely shocked, jaw dropped and eyes bulging. After about 30 seconds, he wordlessly and vigorously nods.
Steve grabs his hand and leads Eddie into his house.
“WHAT THE FUCK STEVE, THERE ARE PEOPLE HERE?”
Steve flips Nancy off and enters the house. The people outside can still see them as Steve strips off his shirt and then they disappear around the corner of a room.
AN. I actually accidentally convinced all my friends I was a lesbian because of this. Half my friends were dudes and the other half were lesbians or bisexual, so I only talked about girls. I had people trying to convince me I was a lesbian, 10/10 would recommend, very entertaining, they got very heated and started yelling at me about how I was a lesbian.
Here’s a crack flash fic (exactly 1000 words at that) that I wrote while drunk last night. Enjoy.
ao3
~ 🔞 mildly nsfw 🔞 ~
Never Have I Ever
“Never have I ever…” Robin’s devious eyes shot towards Eddie with evil glee. “Sucked a dick.”
Eddie, of course, huffed and took a swing of his drink with a sardonic bowing gesture of his hand. Which then became a rude hand gesture—a bird for a bird, as he’d like to call it when he flipped her off—as he leaned back on his hand where he sat on the floor with both Robin and Steve. Nancy, Jonathan, and Argyle had commandeered the couch with toothy grins, finishing their odd shaped circle in Steve’s living room.
As the only other officially out member of the Older Party, especially one who was not quiet about his adventures in Indy now that he knew the rest of them were safe, no one was surprised by Eddie’s drink. Neither were they surprised when Nancy, Miss Priss Prim and Proper, did not drink.
Steve would have shared a commiseratory look with Jonathan if Jonathan and Argyle weren’t busy exchanging a shrug and tapping their cans of beer together before taking a twin swig of their own. Which, honestly, also wasn’t surprising considering the whole situation between them, Nancy, and Eden.
Though, less Nancy nowadays.
Anyways, Steve would have shared that look were it not for the aforementioned events, as well as for the fact that he was too busy taking his own swig of his drink.
“Oh, gross, dude!” Steve and Robin exclaimed at the same time as Eddie’s beer and spit sprayed over where they were pressed together on the floor, shoulders and upper arms basically fused into one, after the metalhead’s mouthful of beer shot out immediately after Steve’s drink.
“What!” Eddie’s wheezed, staring bug eyed at Steve.
Steve gave him a trademark bitchy look as he wiped off Robin as Robin wiped off him. “Say it, don't spray it, asshole,” he snarked.
While Eddie still stared at him with a gaping mouth, Nancy just shrugged. “Tommy,” she answered his question, like it was old knowledge. Which, to be fair, it was to the others. Well, the others except Argyle, who just looked at Steve, shook his thumb and pinky at him, and gave an approving nod.
“Don’t forget Eric,” Jonathan pointed out, causing Steve to snap his fingers and shoot him a finger gun motion.
“Oh yeah, your old coworker at The Hawk,” Steve laughed. “Forgot about him. I wonder what he’s up to nowadays. Maybe I should give him a call.”
“Didn’t you say he had a small penis and an even smaller personality?”
Steve frowned. “Oh yeah,” he repeated, though much more glum. “Really just a…two dimensional dude. No substance. In any aspect.”
“W-wh-wha—” Eddie continued to stammer, staring at Steve like he’d never seen him before. “Since when are you queer!”
Steve’s nose scrunched up. “I’m not queer.”
“You literally just said you sucked two dicks and thought about doing it again with one of them.”
“Three.”
Eddie blinked, looking over at Robin. “What?”
“Steve’s sucked three dicks,” she said with a roll of her eyes like he should know this already.
“Who else’s dick has he sucked?” Eddie exclaimed, though it was muffled his knuckles he was biting down on in what looked like anguish.
Jonathan raised his hand with a shrug. “We figured it’d complete the whole situation between us,” he said, indicating Steve, him, and Nancy. “I sucked his dick too.”
“And how is that not queer!”
“Sheesh, Munson, haven’t you heard about sexuality being fluid,” Robin grimaced, rubbing her ear from his shriek. “If people don’t want to label themselves as queer, you shouldn’t force it on them.”
“Yeah, dude. Way to conform to a sexuality binary,” Steve huffed.
Eddie looked fit to combust. He spun around towards Argyle and pointed an accusing finger at him. “Have you had your dick sucked by Steve?”
“Nah,” Argyle sighed. “Stevie and I unfortunately aren’t like that.”
“More’s the shame, buddy,” Steve said with a sigh and a wave of his own beer can.
“Is there a dick you won’t suck,” Eddie grumbled, before adding under his breath. “Besides mine, apparently.”
Steve blinked. Though it was obvious Eddie hadn’t intended to say it loud enough for anyone else to hear, the alcohol already in his system made it just loud enough for exactly that.
A slow smirk settled over his lips as he brought his beer up for a drink. “Never say never, Munson,” he teased with a wink over his can, causing Eddie to choke. “Your turn, Eddie.”
Eddie, still staring at Steve with wide eyes and a flushed face, audibly gulped before giving a full body shudder. “Jesus H. Christ,” he mumbled to himself, though once more it was heard by everyone. He shook himself, cleared his throat, and shot Robin a glare.
“Fine. In that case, never have I ever munched pussy,” he said back, sticking his tongue out at her, which she returned before taking a swig of her drink. She then immediately high-fived Steve with perfect coordination despite their inebriated state.
And that would have been that, except…
“Oh, come on now!” Eddie exclaimed, looking thoroughly done with life as everyone else took a swig too. And that was everyone.
Nancy just gave Eddie her own little smirking smile over the rim of her can as she took a drink. She wiped her lips with a small shrug. “Just the once. Though…” Nancy’s smirk and gaze turned towards Robin. “I’m always open to a second time.”
This time, it was Robin who flushed pink with a small squeak.
Steve grinned and leaned over to high-five Nancy next. “Hell yeah,” he said.
“Is there anyone in this group who isn’t queer?” Eddie groaned.
“Dude,” Jonathan frowned. “Steve already said he wasn’t queer.”
“Yeah, man,” Steve sighed with a roll of his eyes. He paused then, sweeping his gaze over Eddie once more. “By the way, did you want to do the dick sucking tonight, orrr…”
Eddie let out another muffled scream into his hands.
“Where are Jon and Argyle?” Steve asks Nancy. The rest of the group gathered around the table for their weekly group dinners.
“Jonathan said that he has a lot of work to do, and Argyle is working closing. Said they would try to come later if they could.” Nancy sits at the table, acting as if the information doesn’t bother her.
Steve doesn’t buy it. “I thought Argyle never closed on Fridays.”
“I don’t know,” Nancy shrugs, annoyed. “Maybe he’s covering for someone. It doesn’t matter, so just eat.”
Steve still doesn’t buy it. Jonathan will always use their hangouts as a break, so his eyes don’t try to kill him. Argyle values friendship too much to take a shift during one of their hangouts. If what Steve knew about them was right, though.
But, he decides to ignore it, and eats dinner.
The next week, however, something like this happens again. It’s not an everyday thing that the group gets together at the coffeehouse after work to talk, some can’t justify buying coffee five days a week when they can just make it themselves. But today, everyone is there. Everyone except for Jonathan and Argyle.
“Isn’t it weird that they aren’t here?” Steve asks, mainly to himself. He’s sitting at the bar, bugging Eddie while he’s on shift.
Eddie shrugs, passing a drink across the bar to a customer. “Maybe they’re busy again. Didn’t Jonathan shoot like four wedding in the past two weeks? That’s a lot of editing.”
“But he would bring it here. Especially since Argyle would get off shift,” he looks down at his watch, “an hour ago. They would come in here together and chill with the rest of us.”
“Don’t know man. Maybe they just wanted to stay at home. The weather is kind of shit today.”
It’s never stopped them before. Something else is going on.
The next time it happens, it’s on game night. He asks Nancy if she’s heard from them and gets shut down immediately. Something about the both of them needing to work. Nothing else.
When it keeps happening, Steve starts to get more and more suspicious. Everyone else seems unbothered. Blind to the excuses that mean nothing, and continue on with their lives. When Steve knows that they are hiding something.
He decides to bring it up again when him and Robin are making dinner. Trying to use both their heads to figure this out without Nancy shutting him down immediately.
“You don’t think they finally,” Steve makes a motion with his hands, indicating that they are together.
Robin glares at him from the kitchen. “Probably not, Jonathan’s demi, remember.”
“That is not what I meant,” Steve says, partially annoyed. “I just meant like, dating. What if they are dating.”
“I would hope they would tell us if that actually happened. We’ve listened to too much of their suffering to not know.”
Steve stares at the cutting board. Not so sure about that. “I think Nancy knows something.”
“Here we go,” Robin groans.
“No, Rob, seriously. Like every single time I ask, she shuts me down almost immediately. With the same excuse. Jonathan is busy editing, or has a shoot, and Argyle is working a closing shift. I’ve never known Argyle to have this many closing shifts in his life.” He turns to her, hoping to see that she sees what he sees. “Isn’t that a little weird?”
“I guess,” Robin goes back to stirring the vegetables in the saucepan. “But maybe their rent got raised and they had to pick up a few extra shifts. Wouldn’t be that surprising.”
Steve is still not convinced. “Maybe.”
A week later, the group was planning on going to see a movie. Some weird horror movie that Nancy and Eddie love, but will probably traumatize both Steve and Robin. Normally Jonathan and Argyle would come along and laugh at how unrealistic it is, but they bailed again.
They’ve been bailing for about a month now, something was definitely up.
Steve stands in line to get the popcorn, letting the rest of the group go into the theater to get their seats. Hoping that Eddie is able to save a seat next to him for Steve.
Out of the corner of his eye, Steve sees two people who look familiar. After thanking the guy behind the counter and turning toward his theater, he sees it. Jonathan and Argyle walking in with their tickets. They make eye contact with him, looking caught.
“Well, there you guys are,” Steve says, trying not to make it weird. “I feel like I haven’t seen you guys in weeks.”
“Uh, yeah,” Jonathan says. “Just been really busy with work, that’s all.”
Steve nods, going alone with the lie. “Yeah. I’m glad you guys were able to make it tonight though. Unless, you know, you came to see a different movie.”
Argyle opens his mouth, going to say something. Jonathan nudges him with his shoulder, shutting him up. Argyle presses his lips together in a forced smile. Eyes wide.
“Yeah. We were just going to get some popcorn, so why don’t you go into the theater, and we’ll meet you in there.”
The smile that forms on Steve’s lips is one of pure joy. “I don’t mind waiting. It might be easier to carry all this shit to the theater.” He takes a glace down and sees their hands clasped together. “Four hands are better that two, so.”
“Four hands?” Argyle questions under his breath.
Jonathan looks down at their hands, and pulls them apart.
“You guys weren’t going to see the same movie, were you?” Steve questions. Feeling smug.
“No, we weren’t,” Argyle blurts out. “We were going to see this comedy together because we’ve been dating for a few months now.” He immediately slams a hand over his mouth.
“A few months,” Steve says much louder than he should.
Jonathan starts looking around. “Dude, quiet down.”
“Sorry.” Steve lowers his voice to whisper shout. “A few months. I thought you were just dating for a few weeks.”
“You knew we were dating?”
Steve snorts. “You two are not as subtle as you think you are. Always missing hangouts conveniently at the same time. It’s really rude to cancel on your friends to go on dates for your secret relationship, by the way.”
“We’re sorry,” Argyle apologizes. Looking like he’s going through multiple emotions at once. “We just have been busier with work so the only times we’ve been free to go out are the days we would hang out.”
“You’re not going to tell everyone, are you?” Jonathan asks, hand rubbing at the back of his neck.
Steve shakes his head. “No, it’s your thing to tell. I wouldn’t do that. I just miss you guys. I am still going to gloat about being right, they just don’t need to know what about.”
“Thanks, dude.” Argyle finally calmed down back to one emotion.
“We really appreciate it.”
“I have to go, the movie’s about to start. Have a good night, guys.”
Steve turns and head to the theater. He finds the rest of them and sits between Eddie and Robin. The popcorn immediately getting pulled from his hands.
“What took you so long?” Robin asks over a mouthful of popcorn.
“The line was long,” Steve says. This was going to be fun.
Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or taken off) @slowandsteddie, @annieofhearts, @cacdyke, @ubpd, @captain--low,
Steve and Robin walk into the coffee house after work. Nancy, Jonathan, and Argyle already sitting in their spot. Robin sits next to Nancy on the couch while Steve flops into the armchair.
“How was the first day of school,” Nancy asks Steve.
Steve groans. “I have three Gabriels in my class and all of them want to be called Gabe. And two of them have a last name that starts with H. Then the fire alarm went off because Beverly decided that popcorn was the perfect lunchtime snack. Three moms tried to hit on me when I was doing car line, and I think one of the kids was sick. So that’s about to be spread around my classroom.”
“That’s,” she starts, trying to find something positive to say. “I have nothing, that sounds like shit.”
“I could never be a teacher,” Robin sighs into the couch. “I didn’t like kids that much to begin with. And after the things you tell me, never.”
“I don’t know,” Argyle pipes in. “It could be fun. And very rewarding.”
“I could totally see you being a kindergarten teacher,” Steve suggests.
The group does a vague nod in agreement.
“For anyone wondering how my day was,” Robin perks up. “I had a very nice conversation with this Italian man. He’s opening up a small bakery with his wife and wanted someone to go over the contracts with him. He’s bringing me some pastries as a thank you when they get up and running.”
The conversation about work continues for a bit, each of them sharing how their day was and destressing.
“Where’s Eddie,” Steve eventually asks. He’s normally here by this point.
Nancy starts laughing. “Oh just wait.”
“What,” Jonathan looks up from his laptop. “Did we miss something?”
“Like I said,” Nancy continues to laugh over her coffee. “Just you wait.”
Like speaking of him suddenly made him appear, Eddie walks out of the backroom of the coffee house. With an apron tied around his waist and a pencil behind his ear. He heads over to an empty table with a wet rag, wiping it down.
“Oh my god,” Robin whispers with surprise.
“Is that Eddie, working?” Argyle questions. “Here?”
Nancy nods, her laughter getting louder. “Yes.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Eddie working,” Robin comments. “It’s like watching an animal out in the wild.”
“I can hear you, you know,” Eddie groans. Shoving the rag in his apron pocket and walking over.
Robin smiles. “I meant you to.”
“How long have you been working here?” Steve asks.
Eddie shrugs. “A few days now.”
“I thought you were working on being a tattoo artist,” Jonathan says. Taking a break from editing photos on his laptop to invest in this conversation.
“That I am. But I needed to shut down my Etsy page for art commissions, because people were being a bunch of dicks, so now I’m down one job. So I got another. Because rent is fucking expensive.”
Nancy makes a gesture with her hand. “And that’s with it rent controlled.”
Eddie makes a gesture toward her. “Also, I blew all of my savings moving out here, so I am trying to build those back up.”
“Aw, look at you being financially responsible,” Robin teases. Poking Eddie’s arm.
“You’re growing up,” Nancy eggs on. Feigning wiping away tears.
Eddie rolls his eyes. “You guys are the worst. I knew it was a bad idea getting a job here.”
“I don’t think I ever envisioned you being a barista,” Argyle notes. “Bartender, yes. Barista, no.”
“Well, I work the late shift too. So I am both of those things.”
“Oo,” Robin turns around on the couch. Standing on her knees to see him better. “Do you get a discount? Can we abuse it?”
Eddie shakes off her hand. “Yes, I get a discount, no you cannot abuse it. I sort of need this job, so I’d rather not get fired. It says strictly in the rules that I cannot use it for friends.”
Robin falls back down, defeated. “Boo, you’re no fun.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Eddie walks away behind the counter. Cleaning off the counter and starting to make someone’s order.
“I’m going to go get something to drink,” Steve says, standing up. “You want anything, Rob?”
“Just a green tea. Not feeling coffee right now.”
Steve nods while going over to the counter. Sitting down at one of the stools. “So, you work here now.”
“I thought that was already established.” Eddie hands off the drink he was making to the girl further down. Coming to stand in front of Steve.
“Is that why you couldn’t come over last night? You could have said that.”
Eddie shrugs. “I didn’t want you to know, quite yet. Thought you wouldn’t really like how much I bounce around jobs.”
“You’re not though. You have a job, you just needed a second one. No shame in that.” Steve leans further across the bar. “It also helps that I find bartenders to be really hot.”
“Steven,” Eddie gasps. “I am at work.”
Steve smirks. “I know.”
Eddie shakes his head. “Did you want anything, or are you just here to flirt with me?”
“Only if flirting with you gets me a discount. Otherwise, I’ll just take my business elsewhere.”
“Is that really all I am to you?” Eddie starts making Steve’s usual drink order. Waiting for the espresso to brew.
“And Rob wanted a green tea.”
Eddie nods, pouring some hot water into a glass and adding a tea bag. “How was work?”
Steve rolls his eyes. “Don’t even get me started. The first day is always hard.”
“Oh, I bet.” Eddie steams the milk, adding it to the top of the espresso and drizzling it with caramel.
“And I just can’t wait until I get to hear all of the single, and not so single, PTA moms throwing their cheap pick-up lines at me.” Steve says that with a leading tone. Hoping that Eddie takes that in the direction he wants it to.
Eddie slides the drinks across the bar. “That something they do,” he says, with a lilt of jealousy.
“Every year. Without fail.”
“Any way I can help with that?”
“Come over later and find out.” Steve gives him a flirtatious smile. “What do I owe you?”
Eddie waves his hand. “It’s on the house.”
“I was joking before. Seriously, what so I owe you.”
“And now I’m being serious. I get a free drink a day that I can give out to a friend, so consider that covering Rob’s, and then I am personally paying for yours.”
“What was it about needing to save up money?”
“That doesn’t apply to you, sweetheart.” Eddie leans over the bar a little bit, palms pressed into the edge of the counter.
“Steve,” Robin yells from the couch. “I thought you were getting us drinks.”
Steve rolls his eyes. “I’m paying next time, no arguments.”
“Whatever you say so.”
He walks back over to the group and hands Robin her tea.
Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or taken off) @slowandsteddie, @annieofhearts, @cacdyke, @ubpd, @captain--low,
Remember this crackfic I wrote while drunk? Well this one I wrote high. Technically I started this one before that one but finished it last. Whatever.
Enjoy my intoxicated thoughts.
Now an ao3 series.
Also the ao3 curse got me so bad it leaked over and started affecting my friend so I’ve been away from tumblr for a bit. I’ll return to the regularly scheduled programming (hopefully) soon tho. So keep tagging me in things, I’ll get to them as soon as I can!
~ ~ ~
Three to Tango
Steve giggled as he pointed to one of the bullet points on their notes. “Oh my god, here, right here. What if we make them think you guys hooked up? When you left to find Murray.”
“Why do I have to be a cheater,” Nancy huffed, but Steve could tell by the gleam in her eyes that she was already concocting how it might go.
“Because it’s fucking hilarious, Nance,” Jonathan grinned. “After knocking Harrington out, I also now get to sleep with his girl? Imagine the drama.”
“I still think this is all incredibly sexist, by the way,” Nancy continued to complain even as she jotted down the idea. “Like a girl is just some prize to be won.”
“Technically, if you think about it, this narrative is all about your female autonomy and sexual liberation,” Steve pointed out as he leaned back into his corner of the couch.
“Jon, you need to stop lending him your mother’s feminist literature,” she sighed. “Everyone’s supposed to think he’s just a vapid jock.”
Jonathan didn’t even bother to disguise his laughter as Steve put on an exaggerated confused face, nose curled up as he looked around and up.
“I don’t even know what a book is?” Steve said, though the lilt of his intonation made it sound like a question. He broke character when Jonathan threw a balled up piece of paper at him.
“What you don’t know about is a mother.”
“Ouch, Jonny, this is why we would never work out.”
“Stow your crocodile tears, Steve,” Nancy said with a roll of her eyes. “You and Jonathan didn’t work out because despite you being a raging, flaming homo, he’s asexual and has taste.”
“Says one homo to another!” Steve gasped, mock offended as he sat up to clutch at his chest. “Et tu, Brute?”
“It’s your dick that turned me gay,” Nancy deadpanned.
“And me asexual,” Jonathan added.
“Wow. I have a magic dick. I should get hired at a conversion camp and offer to fuck all the gay dudes.”
“Slut,” both Nancy and Jonathan said at the same time, in the exact same tone and cadence.
“Back to your idea though, Steve,” Nancy said, tapping the end of her pen on the scrawled line. “All jokes aside, it does have merit,” she grinned. “That would be a perfect place to have this love triangle of ours switch sides. It will keep the gossip going for a while and then you’ll graduate.”
“Still can’t believe you purposely tanked your test scores,” Jonathan laughed as he high fived Steve. “You know your dad would have corroborated your story with you if you told him the truth.”
“Yeah, well, he never told me he and mom were each other’s beards either, so I’m allowed to fuck with him for a while.”
“Anyway,” Nancy broke in. “Murray will certainly corroborate with us if we wanted to spin it that way. That old queen lives for drama.”
Steve paused. “You guys ever think Hawkins is like…way more queer than it seems?”
“Everywhere’s more queer than it seems,” snorted Nancy. “We can tell people we broke up.” She snickered then and pointed at his still healing face. “Could tell people I can’t be with a dude who loses all his fights.”
“Hey!” Steve protested and pointed a finger first at her and then at Jonathan. “You know we agreed that Jon would win that fight. It makes for better gossip. Plus, it took the spotlight off of us searching for the demogorgon.”
“I will say,” Jonathan sighed. “Nothing quite hastens a sexuality crisis like interdimensional monsters.”
“That, and fucking someone that on paper is perfect for you making you realize that the opposite gender just doesn’t do it for you.”
Jonathan shot Steve finger guns. “Or the same gender,” he said with a lopsided grin.
“Okay so, Jonathan and I fucked at Murray’s,” Nancy intoned, once more drawing them back to the discussion on hand about their little beard ruse the three of them were playing.
And like, it wasn’t all a lie. Steve and Nancy had tried to be a thing. Steve had fucked girls before, had dated girls, but none of it had felt quite right. He figured he just wasn’t as into them as they were into him and didn’t look too deeply into that. Until Steve and Nancy had sex and both of them realized with horrifying and startling clarity that they were both the gayest motherfuckers they knew.
One couldn’t be queer in Hawkins, however, so after catching Nancy and Jonathan in her room together, after actually talking to her and him and realizing that all three of them were confused and didn’t want to pretend about their feelings while people were missing, they jointly came to this idea of a fake love-triangle to keep people off their backs.
Nancy would be going back and forth between him and Jonathan which would keep them from being questioned about who they were dating, both because Nancy and Steve realized they didn’t want to date the opposite sex and Jonathan discovered he didn’t want to date any sex.
Maybe it was a deflection from the worry about the—soon to be discovered—demogorgon, but they all decided that it would be hilarious to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes and they needed a little levity to survive the stress of the unknown. And it soon developed into a genuine and utterly comfortable friendship between the three of them.
Of course, then they learned of everything else going on and they decided they needed the comfort of this joke more than ever. It was around the time that the Hargrove-Mayfields came to town that Steve learned about his own parents being a beard relationship and it made him want to double down on the ditzy meathead jock persona he’d crafted so expertly in annoyance at being kept out of the loop.
It definitely made sense in hindsight, but it also affected Steve’s life, his views of his place in their dynamic, and it probably would have made him feel less like an unwanted burden if he’d known he wasn’t some accident or a controversial way of saving an unfaithful marriage. Or the current belief that he was just there to sell their own lie.
Anyway, Steve was graduating soon, and they figured it would keep people from harassing Nancy if she had a boyfriend still in school with her, and then Steve could claim heartbreak for why he stopped dating for a bit. If he was lucky, he could get a really embarrassing job and act like a dork to keep girls from regaining interest in him.
“Honestly, it’s pretty genius,” Jonathan commented. “It makes perfect sense too, especially after your guys’ supposed fight at Tina’s. What was it you called Steve?”
“Bullshit,” Steve laughed in answer. “God, I don’t want to compliment a fucking racist, but it really was perfect timing that the Hargrove-Mayfields came to town when they did. I was getting so tired of doing keg stands all the time. I needed someone else to want to be top dog.”
“Too bad he didn’t get eaten by a dog,” Nancy darkly muttered.
“I think even Dart would have drawn a line at finding racists delicious,” Steve drawled. “But all right, you guys shared something at Murray’s, and I am the heartbroken boy who graciously steps aside to let your true love or whatever take place.” He grinned at his two best friends. “Breakups kickass.”
Jonathan smirked at Steve then. “You gonna go get some pain relief from your little crush?” he teased, causing Nancy to crack up when Steve flushed bright pink.
“Shut up! I don’t have a crush,” he muttered, crossing his arms with a pout. “He just has pretty hair. And eyes. And lips. And tattoos. And—”
“Darling, you’re drooling,” Nancy laughed, poking Steve in the chin, causing him to huff and wipe his mouth.
“You’re one to talk. Didn’t you almost run into a pole when band let out and that scrawny girl stumbled out?” Steve quirked his brow as Nancy now flushed a bright pink. “That’s what I thought.”
Jonathan rolled his eyes. “I’m so glad I’m not a slave to baser instincts.”
“Mary, I’ve read your Premise zine submissions. They’d make the devil blush,” Steve drawled, though Jonathan preened rather than look any kind of embarrassed.
“Thank you,” the other boy smiled. “I’m working on a new one, wanna read it?”
“God yes.”
And so the unlikely trio shook hands, ready to spread the most heartbreaking breakup for Steve and the tawdry affair of, what they’d begun calling it, Joncy. Stancy was dead. Long Live Joncy.
The next summer, in a mall restroom:
“I’m sorry, you’re WHAT? And you call yourselves Stoncy????”
~
Bruh I don’t even know about this one. I was high af. If you see any typos, no you didn’t.
When Steve opens the apartment door, Robin, very suspiciously, hides something behind her back. Music blaring through the apartment. Much louder than she normally likes to keep it.
“What did you do,” Steve sighs. Seeing right through whatever act she is trying to play right now.
Before she can even start to explain herself, Eddie opens the door. Forcing Steve off to the side. “Alright, so I was looking into supplies, and it looks like we need a heat lamp-. Oh, hey Steve.”
He quickly shuts his phone off and shoves it into his back pocket.
Steve nods, skeptically and a little pissed. He takes off his bag and sets it on the counter, crossing his arms to look at them. “What did you both do? Apparently.”
“Nothing,” Eddie tries to play off. Not successfully. “Why would you think that?”
“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “Maybe because you came in saying you need a heat lamp, and now are acting weird. And the fact that Robin’s very clearly hiding something behind her back.” The song changes to something with a lot of bass, making the floor start to shake. “Could we turn down the music please, we’re going to get a noise complaint.”
Robin reaches out, very awkwardly, to grab her phone and turn down the music. One of her arms never leaving behind her, and her feet staying rigid in one spot.
With the music turned down, Steve can hear the gently chirping. “What the fuck is that?”
“Just must be part of the song or something,” Robin lies.
“Yeah, part of the song,” Eddie agrees.
Steve moves around the counter, coming closer to Robin. Slowly starting to walk around her. Robin spins in a circle, keeping her front to Steve’s. Steve jerks to the right, making Robin force to her left. The chirping getting slightly louder.
“Careful,” Eddie exclaims, concerned. “You’ll hurt them.”
“Them?” Steve says, surprised. “There’s more than one?”
Robin sighs, giving up. “Please don’t be mad.”
“Kinda late for that.”
She reveals what was hiding behind her back. A cardboard box filled with a small layer of straw. A small chick and a duckling sitting amongst it. Both of them now staring at Steve. Curious.
“Where’d you get those?”
“The pet store,” Robin fills in like it’s no question at all.
“A pet store that suddenly sells chickens and ducks,” Steve exclaims. “In the middle of the fucking city.”
Eddie is nervously rocking back and forth on his feet. “We might have gone a little out of our way. We saw an add on Instagram, and just went for it.”
Steve pinches the bridge of his nose. “You are worse than my students sometimes. Is there a return policy?”
Eddie gasps. “You would make us return these gentle creatures? How dare you?”
“We are not people that can take care of these kinds of animals. Not here! They need a coop, and grass, and places to walk around. Not an apartment with fake wood flooring.”
Robin looks down into the box, reaching a finger out to gently pet the chick’s head. “But we could try. And then when they get unhappy, we could find a nice farm for them to live on. We could give them a better home than where they were.”
“I thought you said you got them at the pet store.”
“The pet store,” Eddie draws out, “might have been a bit misleading. Technically, we found them outside of the pet store. In a much worse cardboard box.”
Robin looks at Steve with wide eyes, almost pleading. “They were calling out to us, Steve. They were so sad.”
“So sad,” Eddie adds.
“And helpless.”
Eddie moves behind Robin, adding to the pleading. “So helpless.”
“What did you want us to do, leave them there?”
“In the cold? The rain? The snow?” Eddie accentuates each question in rising volume and dramatics.
“It’s August,” Steve questions.
“Doesn’t matter. They were abandoned so we graciously took them in. Now you are being mean and want us to give them away.”
Before Steve can get another word in, the door opens again. Argyle coming through with a happier than normal expression. “Guys, I’ve been thinking. How about Cheese and Quakers for their names?”
Robin and Eddie both gasp excitedly at the suggestion. Looking down that the animals with bright smiles.
“Great, now they have names.” Steve opens his phone and types a quick message. Nancy coming through the door quickly after.
“What’s this about a chick and a duck?” She asks before noticing the box in Robin’s hands. “Oh no.”
“Oh yes,” Steve says. Very annoyed.
Jonathan shuts the door behind him. “You brought in strays again?” he questions toward Argyle.
“How’d you get here so fast?”
“Saw you leave with that look in your eye, and thought it was no good. So I followed you.”
“Sometimes I hate the fact that you know me so well.”
Jonathan crosses his arms. “I’m guessing they have names already, too? You were always the best at those.”
Argyle, very dramatically, moves to stand next to Robin. Gesturing to the box with his arms. “Meet Cheese and Quakers.”
“Don’t get attached,” Steve interrupts. “We’re returning them.”
Robin, Eddie, and Argyle all snarl in disgust.
“There is no place to return them, Steve,” Robin snaps. “We found them on the side of the road, remember.”
“Who leaves a random chick and duck on the side of the road,” Nancy questions. Still catching up on the whole ridiculous story.
“And why were the three of you together,” Jonathan continues the questions. “Without us.”
Eddie crosses his arms, rolling his eyes. “What? Three friends can’t hang out with each other without the rest of the group?”
“Wait a second.” Steve pulls out his phone and looks up an add on Facebook. “Was this the road you found them on?”
He shows them a flyer for discounted chicks and ducks located at a house on the edge of the city. Something about more eggs hatching than was necessary.
“We’ve been made,” Eddie not so subtlety whispers toward Robin and Argyle.
“How’d you know about that?” Robin asks, still trying to stick to their story.
Steve puts his phone away. Getting the energy of someone who’s about to prove a point. “I saw you looking at it last night. Didn’t think you would actually go through with it though.”
Robin gives a sad shrug. “They just looked to cute, and they were really cheap.”
“And then she might have sent it to me, and I might have encouraged it,” Eddie adds.
“And then they both sent it to me, and the plan was formed,” Argyle finishes.
Nancy asks to see Steve’s phone again. Looking at the flyer. “They’re nonrefundable. What’s the real harm in letting them keep them?”
Steve looks at Nancy betrayed. “I thought you would be on my side about this.”
“Look at them right now.”
Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan look at the three surrounding the box with the small animals. All looking half in love with the birds and saddened by the fact that they might have to give them up. Jonathan lets out a big sigh before moving to go stand by Argyle.
“I don’t see a real reason why they would have to give up the birds.”
The three of them look toward Jonathan with excitement.
He holds up a hand to lower that. “As long as you get them the proper equipment, feed them the proper food, and deal with the angry neighbors if that chicken turns out to be a rooster. All that shit.”
Nancy thinks for a second before walking over and standing next to Eddie. “I think it would be easier for all of us if we just let them keep them. There’s much less moping involved.”
Steve crosses his arms, betrayed by his friends. But he looks at the ones now connected with these birds, and feels himself start to crumble. There’s not much he would reject when it came to Robin. And she’s looking at him with those puppy eyes that he hates because of how much they manipulate him.
“Fine,” he concedes. They let out a small victorious shout. “But, you have to decide what apartment they stay in, and if you want to move them around. And more importantly, keep the birds out of my bedroom.”
“Those,” Eddie points at Steve, “are reasonable conditions. Welcome to the family Cheese and Quakers.”
This whole thing ends with all of them actually going to the pet store. After Robin and Eddie convince Nancy to help them with their research about what supplied they need. A list is made, and they get everything. Setting up a little enclosure for the birds with a heat lamp and a small amount of food. And some things that were probably meant for hamsters, but they thought would be cute.
Robin gets the first rotation, setting up the birds on the kitchen counter. They squeak happily until they fall asleep well into the night. Robin is staring at them lovingly while Steve is getting glass of water before bed.
“You seriously can’t hate something that looks so adorable,” Robin says to him, gesturing to the birds.
He has to admit, they are pretty cute when they are quiet. “I really hope that chick isn’t a rooster.”
“Yeah,” Robin winces. “We did not think about that before buying them.”
Note: Sorry for not posting one of these in a while. I took a short break in posting all together but needed time to think of ideas that weren't pure angst (or ones I did before in another fic). So, if any of you have some funny ideas, feel free to throw them in my asks. Even if it's just a one line joke, it'll give me the inspiration for something.
Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or taken off) @slowandsteddie, @annieofhearts, @cacdyke, @ubpd, @captain--low,
Eddie walks up to the apartment completely fine. Cause why wouldn’t he be fine. It’s not like he’s done anything to move this situation further. If there’s a situation at all. Steve isn’t required to like Eddie back just because Eddie likes him. And so what if he walked past him going on a date with a guy that has a shocking resemblance to Eddie. That was perfectly fine. Normal. Allowed.
Eddie is perfectly ok with the fact that Steve has a dating life. Totally really ok with it.
It’s not like Eddie hasn’t been seeing people casually. In dark night club bathrooms and badly light apartments. Not on dates though. He can’t bring himself to go on an actual date, even if it’s been a year since his last relationship ended. Probably more than that now. But every time he sees a guy he’s somewhat interested in, he just can’t get it to the dating part. Always ghosting the people on dating apps or suggesting a quick hookup.
He lets out a dramatic sigh when he opens up his apartment door. Hoping to find some sympathy. Even though he knows he will just be met by sarcastic remarks on how he just needs to go ask the guy out. Like it’s that easy.
But this time, his sigh is covered by the sound of a blender.
“Dude,” Argyle’s voice booms through the apartment. “You made it just in time for fajitas.”
“I could use a fajita right now,” Eddie says as he pushes himself off the door. “What’s in there?” He points to the blender.
“Margaritas,” Nancy answers as she’s pouring it into glasses.
“Give me that.” Eddie grabs the blender out of Nancy’s hand as she finishes pouring the second margarita, finding a straw and sticking it in the blender. Claiming whatever is left as his.
Nancy huffs. “Hello, that was meant for all of us.”
“I just walked past Steve meeting someone for a date.” Eddie explains, now pacing around the kitchen.
“Here we go again,” Argyle whispers to Nancy as he plates up the fajitas.
Eddie continues to pace, trying to get as much alcohol in his mouth as possible. “It’s the same guy he was talking to last week. I know because he showed me his picture. This guy is so similar to me it’s insane. I’ve been spiraling trying to figure out what it means, or to tell him about it, but now they’re on a date and I can’t do anything about it.”
“Well, you could,” Nancy interrupts his spiraling tangent. “You just have to ask him out.”
“But what if he says no? What if he never wants to see me again and then I’ve ruined our entire friendship. And then it’s weird between us, meaning it’s weird between you guys because we live together, and it’s weird between me and Robin because she lives with Steve. And it would be weird between you and Robin because of it being weird with us and now it’s weird between us because I made it weird between you and Robin. Then it’s weird between all six of us because it’s weird between the four of us and it’s all because of me. So not only have I ruined one relationship, but I’ve ruined five.”
“Don’t you mean six,” Argyle asks, trying to keep up. He and Nancy share the same confused expression, not quite sure who Eddie’s talking to or about half the time.
Eddie just brushes him off. “No, I wouldn’t ruin whatever the thing is between you and Jonathan. That can’t be touched by me directly and I have never been more thankful for that.”
Argyle shrugs. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”
“Has something changed between you two?” Nancy asks, sipping her drink, and taking a seat at the table.
“Not really,” Argyle sighs. “It was just all of a sudden something shifted between us. He started to be more distant than he normally is, and I don’t know what to think about it.”
Argyle finally makes himself a fajita and shoves it into his mouth. Eddie sits down, a good portion of the leftover margarita in the blender now gone.
“And there was nothing to cause it?”
Eddie groans, mouthful of food. “This is so good man.”
“Thanks. The only thing I can think of is his mom called a few days ago. But she calls all the time, so I don’t know what happened. He’s just been weird ever since.”
“Is that why he’s not here?”
Argyle shrugs. “I guess. Just said he wasn’t up for it tonight, I didn’t want to push.”
“Did something happen with Will, that sometimes makes him distant?”
Eddie perks up. “Who’s Will?”
“Jon’s younger brother,” Argyle explains. “Some stuff happened back when Will was in middle school after their parents got divorced so Jon’s really protective over him. But he’s been doing fine now. I don’t think anything would have changed recently.”
The apartment door opens before Eddie can ask any further questions.
“Nancy,” Robin interrupts their conversation. “You have got to see this guy Steve is going on a date with, it looks so much like-,” she notices Eddie. “Oh, hey Eddie.”
“I already know about this guy,” Eddie mocks while shoving more food in his face.
Robin glares at him. “So you’re drowning yourself with food and alcohol. Great. Also, how dare you guys have fajita night without me.”
Nancy shrugs. “You said you were going to go out, you knew it was fajita night.”
“Yeah, that’s on me,” she pulls out a chair. “I need someone to convince me not to cancel my date.”
Eddie and Argyle share a side glance.
“Why would you cancel it?” Nancy asks.
“Cause I haven’t had a decent date in months. Every time it just doesn’t click, and we never see each other again. Which is fine, I just want something to stick for longer than a night. Is that so wrong?”
Argyle shakes his head. “I don’t think that’s wrong. You’re looking for something more serious, that’s normal.”
“I guess. I just can’t help but feel like something’s wrong with me, that’s why no one ever wants to stick around that long.”
“No,” Nancy assures. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You just haven’t met the right person yet, and that’s ok.”
Robin’s phone dings. “Oh, she’s here. I’ll see you guys later. Save me some fajitas.”
When Robin closes the door behind her, she opens up her chat with Steve.
Robin: You’re plan of making Eddie jealous is working, he’s currently drinking a blender full of margaritas and stuffing his face with Argyle’s fajitas
Steve: :0
Steve: Their having fajitas without us, how rude
Robin: That’s what I said
Steve: But also, good cause this date is not going well
Robin: You’ve been out for twenty minutes how can it have gone south that fast
Steve: He hasn’t asked me a single question about myself and keep calling me Spence
Steve: Like that’s not even close
Robin: Ew
Robin: You should leave
Steve: Can you give me a fake 911 call
Robin: I would but I’m about to go on my date
Robin: You know who you should call
Robin: Eddie
Steve: That actually might be fun
Eddie’s phone pings. “Shit, Steve needs a fake 911 call to get out of his date. What should I say?”
“That you’re drunk and desperate and he should come back so you guys can finally break the weird tension you have,” Nancy teases.
Argyle snaps his fingers. “Tell him I got so high and ate an entire fried chicken then went into a food coma so bad someone thought I was dead again.”
“Again, that’s happened before?” Eddie stares at Argyle confused.
“I get a really bad case of the munchies. Especially after I visit back home in Cali.”
Nancy winces. “Yeah, I remember that trip. You were out for over eighteen hours.”
Eddie calls Steve.
“Eddie, I’m kind of busy right now.” Steve says through the line. Eddie can hear the voice of his date continuing to talk while Steve’s on the phone.
“Yeah, yeah I know,” Eddie acts. “It’s just, Argyle got this real strong strain of weed and he’s pretty high. He ate an entire fried chicken by himself and then fell asleep. I’m kind of scared, he’s breathing weird and shit, I just need someone else to come sit with me to make sure he’s ok.”
“Oh, that’s sounds bad. I’ll come over. Be over in a bit.” Steve hangs up the phone.
The next morning, Eddie is taking out the trash as Steve is on his way to work.
“Oh Eddie, I just wanted to thank you for getting me out of that date yesterday. Really appreciate it.”
Eddie shrugs. “It’s no problem. Lord knows I’ve been on plenty of bad dates. What was it?”
Steve sighs. “Just kept talking about himself and called me by the wrong name. Like, my name isn’t even that hard. Shows that he just didn’t try.”
“Ugh,” Eddie winces. “That’s the worst. I’m sure you’ll find someone that actually gives enough of a shit to learn your name. Oh wait, hold on.” Eddie quickly drops the trash down the shoot before running back into his apartment. He comes out with a plastic container in his hands. “I sectioned off some of Argyle’s fajitas from last night. Robin wanted us to save her some, but I made sure there was enough for you too. Thought you could have it for lunch or something.”
Steve takes the container with a smile. “Thanks. I love it when Argyle cooks.”
“They were so good, can’t believe I’ve never had them before. Apparently next month are enchiladas.”
“Remind me not to make any plans for that night.”
“Will do.” They stand there in an awkward silence for a minute, just staring at each other. “Well, I don’t want to keep you. Have a good day at work.”
Steve gives him a smile again, one that makes Eddie’s breath catch in his throat. “I will. Thanks to you.” He holds up the container still in his hand. “See you later.”
Eddie nods before heading back into his apartment. Tempted to just open the door again and ask Steve on a date. Do something about this. But can’t. Not yet.
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Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or taken off) @slowandsteddie, @annieofhearts, @cacdyke, @ubpd, @captain--low,
“Ok, I’m not sure what I was expecting to happen in the end,” Ryan explains as they leave the theater, “but it wasn’t that.”
Nancy laughs. “It was a stereotypical romcom, they were always going to end up together in the end.”
Ryan and Nancy walk down the sidewalk. Ryan’s hands shoved into his jacket pockets while Nancy’s are at her sides.
“I just think that she was much better with the other guy. They had way more chemistry.”
Nancy nods with another laugh.
They come to a stop outside of a parking garage. Ryan turns toward her. “My car’s in there,” he points awkwardly to the garage.
“My bus stop is right over there,” Nancy points across the street.
Ryan lets out a nervous huff. “You know, we didn’t really get to talk much tonight. With seeing a movie and everything. My parking’s for the whole night. And there’s this nice ice cream place around the corner that we could go to. If you wanted to.”
Nancy smiles. “Sure.”
“Sure?” Ryan looks generally surprised. “Sure, yeah ok. It’s this way.”
He leads them across the street and down one block. Turning at the corner and halfway down, there is a small ice cream shop. They walk in, a family and one other couple at the tables. But otherwise, it’s empty. Nancy looks at the options, debating which to choose. While Ryan immediately knows what he wants and asks the employee. One scoop of vanilla and one cookies and cream. Making sure to note that they needed to be rung up together but were in no rush.
When Nancy chooses the honey vanilla flavor, Ryan beats her to register to pay.
“You know I can pay for us at least once,” Nancy jokes. She instead pulls out a few dollars and slides them into the tip jar.
Ryan laughs. Taking back his change and dumping it into the jar as well. “It was my idea, so it’s my money.”
Nancy walks over to the table in the corner. “So, I need to plan the next date and then I get to pay?”
“Yeah,” Ryan stutters. There’s been a nervous energy with him all night. “That would work.”
“I promise I don’t mean anything by this question, I’m just generally interested. Why are you so nervous? We’ve already been on one date.”
Ryan sets down his ice cream, rubbing his palms on his pants. “I’ve been on what seems like hundreds of first dates. It’s down to a routine at this point. But as far as second dates go, there’s only been a few. And most of those times, it never went anywhere else, and I was back on the app the next morning.”
Nancy nods, showing that she’s listening.
“I get that’s just how dating can be, sometimes. Especially through dating apps. But I just want something that lasts more than a week or two, you know?”
“I do.” Nancy stares down at her ice cream. “I kind of gave up dating for a while for the same reason. It was just horrible date after horrible date. So I gave up.”
“What made you try again?”
Nancy sighs. Debating how much she should tell. “My best friend, who also lives across the hall from me, got a new girlfriend.”
“Oh,” he says. With a mix of shock and concern.
“There’s nothing there, I promise. Back when we were in college, there was a phase where we both liked each other but didn’t know. Part of me kind of always harbored those feelings for her, but it was time to finally let them go. Whatever we could have had was over, it was time to recognize that.”
“And you though going on a dating app would help with that?”
Nancy lets her hands fall into her hands. “That makes me sound like an asshole. I swear that I didn’t agree to go on a date with you just to get over my stupid feelings. They played no part in deciding to go on a date with you.”
Ryan reaches across the table and gently pushes Nancy’s hands out of the way. “I believe you, for what it’s worth. We’ve all been there at some point.”
“That makes me feel a little better.”
“I appreciate you being honest with me. I,” he pauses. Taking a deep breath. “I really like you, Nancy. You’re probably the best person I’ve met on one of these apps.”
Nancy smiles. “Same here.”
They fall into a comfortable silence. Finishing their ice cream and heading outside again. When Ryan goes to shove his hands into his pockets again, Nancy stops him. Taking his hand into hers. They walk back to the street where they would need to part ways. Nancy waiting for the bus and Ryan crossing the street to his car.
“Would it be ok if I drove you home?” he asks. “It’s dark and way better than a bus.”
“Yeah, that would be ok.”
She follows him to his car and directs them to her apartment building. He finds a spot down the street and parks. Planning on walking her to her door. With full explanation that she can tell him no.
Instead, she rolls her eyes and gets out of the car. Waiting for him to get out. He does, stumbling over his step a bit.
“So, for our next date,” Nancy talks as they walk up the stairs. “I was thinking that we could to this Mexican place I love.”
“Yeah, that sounds great.”
“And it’s my idea so my money, right?” She stops in front of her door. Facing him.
He laughs. “That was the deal.”
Inside of Steve and Robin’s apartment, Robin is staring through the peephole. Having heard Nancy come back and got curious. That’s all, curious.
“What the hell are you doing?” Steve asks. Looking unenthused.
Robin shushes him. “Nancy is back from her date. She’s talking with the guy outside the door.”
“Let me see.” Steve pushes Robin out of the way, looking through the peephole. “Oh, he’s cuter in person.”
Robin slaps his arm. “Don’t encourage this.”
“How am I encouraging this? I’m behind a door, she can’t hear me. Also, it’s too late for that. I was there for the pre-date crisis.”
“And she still went out on the date?”
Steve shrugs. “Yeah well, she seemed to really like the guy. Argyle even did his weird stalking thing he does and found nothing bad. He checked out.”
Robin pushes Steve out of the way again, looking through the peephole once more. “Oh no, she’s doing that face. You know that face.”
“I am well aware of the face.” Steve leans up against the wall next to the door. “Why is this bothering you so much? She’s allowed to date if she wants to.”
“I don’t know,” Robin groans. Letting her forehead thunk against the door. “She just deserves so much, and she’s been on so many dates and none of them have been good. I’m just . . . looking out for her. That’s all.”
Steve hums, disbelieving. Pulling out his phone.
Steve: I think Robin is jealous of Nancy’s new guy
Eddie: Oh wow, what a shocker
Eddie: Do you not remember the two-hour long pity session she conveniently had after Nancy had the first date
Steve: They’re out in the hall right now, Robin can’t stop looking at them through the peephole
Eddie: Can’t she just pretend to take out the trash like a normal person
Steve: Are you going to go do that now?
Eddie: Yes
Eddie: I need to see this guy in person
Back in the hall, while all of that was ensuing, Nancy and Ryan were saying goodbye. Not exactly making any moves toward it. Until Eddie opens the door, with a half full bag of trash in hand, interrupts it.
“Oh, hey, Nance. I didn’t hear you get back,” he says, nonchalant. Looking over at Ryan with fake shock. “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Nancy sighs, catching onto Eddie’s play. “Ryan, this is my roommate Eddie.”
Ryan holds out his hand. “Nice to meet you, man. Nancy’s told me about you.”
“Same here.” Eddie shakes his hands. “I’m just gonna, thank you.” He steps in between them to head down the hall to the trash shoot. Leaving them alone again.
“I should get going,” Ryan says, pushing his hands into his pockets again. “It was really nice to see you again.”
Nancy smiles. “Yeah, it was. I’ll text you later when I’m free.”
“I’ll be looking for it.”
There is a break of silence. Expectation in the air. Ryan shrugs in the direction of the stairs. “I’ll see you later.”
“Oh my god.” Nancy stops his from walking away. Grabbing his face and pulling him down. Pressing a kiss to his lips. He’s shocked for a second, before pressing into it. “Have a good night,” she says after pulling back.
Ryan steps backward, a blush covering his face. “Yeah, uh, yeah. You too. I’ll text you later. Yeah. Bye.”
He turns to walk down the hall while Nancy snorts to herself. Eddie comes back around the corner with a teasing smile.
“Don’t even start, Munson.” Nancy walks into the apartment.
“Oh, I wasn’t going to say anything.” He closes the door behind them. “I was just merely observing.”
Nancy glares at him while taking off her earring. “Observing?”
“He seems nice,” Eddie teasing tone.
“He is nice.”
“Is he a good kisser?”
“There it is.” Nancy walks to her bedroom. “Night.”
Eddie leans on the back of the couch. “No, I wanted to do the after-date gossip.”
“Maybe tomorrow.” She closes the bedroom door.
Eddie sighs, pulling out his phone to see many new texts from Steve.
Steve: Holy shit, she kissed him
Steve: Robin is not taking that well
Steve: She’s trying to play off her jealousy as protectiveness
Steve: Maybe we should warn Nancy about the tirade she’s going to get tomorrow about the dangers of kissing random men
Eddie: I don’t know, the guy was pretty respectful about it
Eddie: He was smiling like an idiot when I passed him in the hall
Eddie: And Nancy seems happy about it
Steve: This is going to be both entertaining and a pain in the ass
Eddie: Agreed
Eddie: I take it Robin isn’t going out tonight then
Steve: Sadly not
Steve: There goes our plans
Eddie: Damn, I kind of really want to kiss you right now
Steve: You know
Steve: No one is ever in the laundry room this late
Eddie: I could do some laundry
Steve: Meet you there in twenty
Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or taken off) @slowandsteddie, @annieofhearts, @cacdyke, @ubpd, @captain--low,
