#idiot4idiot

[eddiesilverstar]

the face of a man who knows he's about to throw hands because of his idiot husband:

the idiot husband:

[classicalpaca]

Ever since Eddie was released from the hospital, Steve has been avoiding him like the plague.

Not that Eddie expected them to strike up a great friendship or bond over their trauma like blood brothers or something (Eddie imagines telling Steve: get it? because my blood was in your mouth, haha...ha), but it gets to a point where, at the very least, he wants to thank him for saving his ass from certain death.

But these days, every time he gets close to the man, he looks like he's seen a ghost. At Family Video, Steve pushes Robin to the front of the counter the moment Eddie enters, then stumbles into a life-size cutout of Tom Cruise in aviator glasses before disappearing into the back room. Or that time when they accidentally bumped into each other at the grocery store, and Steve just left his cart in the middle of the aisle before sprinting to the exit. When Steve picks up the brats from Hellfire, he doesn't even get out of the car, just honks and honks until the whole throttle of kids climbs inside his bimmer with agonized groans.

Eddie, out of his depth here, asks Dustin, "What do you think Harrington would like to receive as a thank-you gift for saving my life?"

And Dustin, clearly not interested in giving this topic more than a couple of his brain cells' attention while reading his newest X-Men comic, answers, "Flowers, I guess. At least that's what he picked up for Nancy whenever he messed up."

Eddie grimaces at that. He can't imagine handing Harrington a bouquet of roses, not that he even has the budget for it.

But there is a place just south of Forest Hill that he knows has a large field of wildflowers. He ends up there that afternoon, and spends several hours finding flowers that he imagines look similar to those you would find in a real bouquet from a fancy florist.

When he's finally satisfied with the colorful collection, his hands are rubbed raw and pink from cutting them at the stems, and it's getting dark. He finds a rubber band in his truck to keep the flowers bound together, then heads to Family Video.

He doesn't make the same mistake as usual, but waits in his truck until he sees Robin and Steve at the doors instead. They're in some kind of deep discussion while they close up based on the way Steve's hand flail about.

Eddie jumps out of the truck, yells, "Harrington!" realizing a moment too late, he sounds unhinged and like he's trying to murder the guy.

Steve freezes the moment he sees Eddie, then he turns to Robin, whispering urgently into her ear. Robin hisses something back, shakes her head, and pries her arm out of Steve's hold.

"That's on you," she says before walking away, ignoring the pleading look in Steve's eyes.

She throws Eddie a grin when she passes him by.

"Hi, Eddie," she says, "got him finally cornered, huh?"

Steve is pressed up against the glass door behind his back, stands as straight and narrow as if he's a soldier waiting for a command.

Eddie huffs a frustrated breath. "What's up with your attitude, Harrington?"

"Attitude? What attitude?" he squeaks, having intense eye contact with the devil printed on the shirt covering Eddie's chest. He's acting insane. And that's saying something coming from Eddie.

Eddie sighs, rubs his face with his free hand, then pulls the flowers from behind his back.

"Here," he says, pushing the bouquet between them. "For you."

Steve looks a little bit like he was struck by lightning. His hair is always standing up, but it seems as if the whole situation has electrified it even more, his cheeks turning ruddy, his mouth open in a small gasp, his eyes wide.

"Uh."

"Take it," Eddie says, losing his patience, then realizes that this is probably the worst thank you anybody has ever received.

"I- I thought you didn't mean it," Steve stammers, eyes flicking up to Eddie's for just a second before he has to look away again.

Eddie frowns, tries to think very hard about why Steve would think Eddie's thank-you would be anything but genuine.

"Of course, I mean it," Eddie barks, bites his tongue, then says a little gentler, "I mean, duh, how could you think I don't?"

"Oh," Steve says, his entire face burning red. He carefully takes the flowers out of Eddie's hands, still looking anywhere but at Eddie. "No, I just mean- I mean I would get it. If it was just a joke. Like you know, how you laughed right after I agreed to your... uh, proposal. Like, haha, ridiculous, don't fret, Harrington, obviously I'm not serious."

Eddie is lost. He can't remember ever laughing at anything in Steve's presence, nor having a conversation in which Steve agreed to any kind of proposal. Eddie hums, scratches his chin, then says something that makes no sense, but that a whirring, humming part inside his chest insists he says,

"I mean, I was not not serious."

Steve ducks his head, presses his lips into a thin smile, skin flushed to the point that Eddie thinks he might burn his fingertips on Steve's cheeks if he touched him. Eddie's brain still hasn't caught up with his body's reaction to the whole situation, he just knows that whatever Steve is assuming, he wants him to keep assuming it.

"Okay," Steve finally says. And then he looks at Eddie, and the entire world narrows down to that pretty smile on Steve's lips. There's no Family Video, no parking lot, no smell of wet asphalt and exhaust.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, okay. I mean, I already said so that day in the hospital, but I know you were probably high on all those painkillers, and then you were... laughing, so- I thought, you know what, it might be for the better, right? I mean, there was that whole crisis you threw me into for the last few weeks, but it was just a joke, right? Haha? Steve got the wrong idea again. Not that I'm holding a grudge, or that it would make me-"

"Flee as soon as you see me?"

"Yeah, I guess I did that, huh?"

"Right," Eddie says, carefully arranging the puzzle pieces Steve's laid out for him about painkillers and conversations in the hospital, proposals that were agreed to, and jokes that were made afterwards. His brain feels like it was dipped in molasses, though, and everything makes just kind of sense, but also it really doesn't.

"You're not joking right now?" Steve asks, gesturing around with the flowers. "These are-?"

"Serious flowers," Eddie replies, because that's one thing he knows for sure. "I picked them myself." He lifts his hands, shows off his blistered skin in the spare light.

Steve's nervously chewing on his bottom lip, glancing around the dark, deserted parking lot, and next thing Eddie knows, he's leaning in, and Eddie's mind implodes with a certain, blinding kind of clarity that has him shake in his boots.

It's not even close to how he thought his thank-you flowers would be received, but he takes it, oh, he so fucking takes it. He kisses Steve back just for a millisecond, but Steve laughs against his mouth, and Eddie's heart drops into his stomach. Maybe that's the joke now? Is Eddie the joke?

But Steve doesn't pull away, keeps smiling into the kiss. "I've never been wooed before," he snickers.

"Oh?" Eddie croaks because that's all his brain can provide.

"I like it," Steve says, then leans in to kiss Eddie again, but better.

[the-inspector-jones]

Eddie's been flirting with Steve for so many months that he sometimes forgets why he started. It couldn't have just been about that little furrowed spot between his eyebrows, or the exasperated half-laugh he often let's out before he can reign it in. There has to have been a better reason. But, on moments like today, where Steve is easy and calm, langurous at the bar, he honestly doesn't remember. Which is his own fault. He probably should have been more on guard.

"Can you grab another beer for my boyfriend too, please?"

And Eddie can't have heard that right. "Wait. S'cuse me?"

"What? Oh. Sorry. Partner?...lover? I guess we can decide on titles later."

"You could have just asked me to stop teasing you, man. No need to be a dick."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I should have asked what you wanted to be called."

"What are you fucking talking about, Harrington?

"You know. Labels. Now that we're dating. It's all good, I'm not attached to a specific word."

Eddie's mouth blurts, "We're dating?" without permission.

Steve looks at him like he's lost his mind. "What are you talking about, Munson? We've been out like fifteen times! Or. Sorry, is this some sort of plot for me to like...ask you? I just assumed because you kept coming out with...wait, I'm seeing where I went wrong here. Sorry. I guess we should have talked."

"Talk about what! What dates??"

He doesn't mean to yell, but he's spinning on error codes now and he needs the joke to end. And soon.

"What do you mean? We went to the movies on the weekend! We've driven to Indie for comic books twice. We went to the baseball game just last week."

"Steve you're just listing times we've been alone! We're alone all the time. The kids are busy. We went grocery shopping yesterday."

He shrugged, shaking his head at the apparently obvious. "Yeah. I know? That was a great date."

Eddie can't breathe. He's afraid to let the feeling in. But he's betrayed, as always, by his own goddammed mouth. "You've never even like...kissed me. Or. Anything. Do you even like me?"

And. Oh. No. Now Steve looks actually hurt. He wants to backpeddle.

"I thought you just wanted to take things slow. I hug you all the time."

"You hug everyone!"

"I do not—Well. Okay. Um. Yeah. Maybe I do. But like! Not like I hug you. Plus, I compliment you lots!"

"You say shit like 'nice shirt' and 'hey. Curly hair'."

"Yeah! Exactly!"

Steve sounds desperate now and he's moving in, leaning close in the dim light, apparently eyeing Eddie for a head injury or something.

"Am I dead? Did I...I died, right? What is happening right now—What are you doing!"

"Oh. I'm gonna kiss you."

"Not here! Oh my god!"

"Why not!" Steve throws his hands up and steps in again. Exasperated but way too close for it.

"I'm like...ah. You've got me all...I'm...I ate pickles!"

"I like pickles. Eddie—"

"Jesus. My. Christ, Harrington. I only found out we were dating like five seconds ago. Give a guy a moment."

And Steve's face finally breaks open. Eddie waits for the punchline to slap him in ghe face. Waits for the 'gotcha' and the lecture about toying with people's emotions. But instead, Steve steps the last step forward and winds Eddie's hair around his hand, pulls gently.

"Nah," he whispers, leaning in. "You can have a moment after you start believing me. After I kiss you. Cuz, yeah. I like you, you idiot. Now tell the nice bartender you're my boyfriend so we can find a dark booth to make out in."

He kisses Eddie, sure and quick. It's not much of a first kiss, but he's honestly grateful. He's already running out of the oxygen necessary for the continued use of his lungs.

"I'm the boyfriend," he squeaks at the bar, grabbing both bottles with one hand, and Steve's arm with the other, before marching away.

"Tab," his apparent boyfriend shouts back.

Fucking Harrington.

[frightfullytreeish]

next time buck gets badly injured he can't take strong painkillers anymore so he's just grimly pushing through the pain, so eddie starts investigating alternative pain management (and maybe he gets really annoyed about all the woo woo wellness healing crap and bitches to karen about it, because I long to bring back her little gay devil on the shoulder energy a la the face she made before asking eddie if he'd told buck about the el paso job offer, so perhaps she's the one who casually mentions this study she happened to read....) and discovers orgasms can help. aah :) he thinks, what a nice way to help my best friend. (buck hurt his hands/arms, I guess. or actually no it's funnier if he didn't and eddie just goes to him anyway and proposes-) let me jerk you off for your health and wellbeing :)

and buck thinks to himself: if I say no to this platonic suggestion, eddie might think I have feelings for him.

gotta say yes to prove I'm not in love with eddie

[crypticruneorb]

Will looking at Mack:

You’re my sun, my moon, my stars, my joy… 🤩

Mack looking at Will:

Nom nom nom nom nom 🤤

[buckmybeloved]

my favourite idiots (affectionate).

[bpillustrated]

steve’s big fat embarrassing crush on eddie pt 1/4

[hawkinsbnbg]

Steve woke up remembering absolutely nothing besides Robin and the kids and that oddly intense, handsome man whom he was pretty sure was his boyfriend.

Though everyone else (except Eddie) kept telling him otherwise, he wasn't convinced. Steve might be a bit slow on the uptake, but he knew love when he saw it. And every fiber of him had melted when he saw Eddie Munson’s face upon opening his eyes.

There was no other reason for his heart to threaten to punch through his ribcage whenever Eddie looked at him. So yeah, boyfriend.

Dustin: He's not your boyfriend, Steven!

Steve: Are you like, homophibying me?

Dustin: Wha– I'm not homophobic! Eddie! Tell him you're not his boyfriend!

Eddie: Sorry, sweetheart. I'm not your boyfriend.

Steve: Oh.

Dustin: See? I told–

Eddie: I'm actually your husband.

Dustin: Dude.

Eddie: We've been married for ten years and these are our children.

Dustin: Dude!

Steve: Who's the mother?

Eddie: You, obviously.

Steve: Yeah, that tracks.

In the end, when Steve finally regained his memory and had another bathroom heart-to-heart with Robin, he silenced Eddie's profuse apologizing with a kiss. French style.

Steve: Will you be the father of my children?

Eddie: Hell yeah, baby.