Imposter Syndrome
Is it too early to feel like this?
Medical School begins in the Fall. That’s literally four months away! FOUR! And I am already feeling less than adequate. When I heard the news back in November that I got accepted to my #1 choice, I couldn’t have been more over the moon and proud of this great accomplishment. I knew my hard work had finally paid off...granted...with a bit of luck.
As time passes, the more I feel luck had a big hand on it. In the short 5 months that followed my admission notice, I have mastered the art of procrastination at a grander level than I’ve had before. In a timely manner, I’ve managed to let time run down to four months and I’ve done zero prep work. The immunizations I had until April to do... umm...hello? It’s April! And I’ve yet to print out the forms or make an appointment.
Not only have I uberly failed at getting things ready for Fall, but I feel like I am letting my personal goals slip away. I’ve stopped logging water intake, or intaking water at all! Being totally inactive on Tumblr, and in general (granted I sprained my ankle and it’s still not well...which makes things much worse). I’ve just stopped...period.
How can this hot mess make it through medical school? How did this hot mess make it TO medical school?
I am currently mentoring two premed students and they wow and rejoice at my feedback. Meanwhile I feel like the biggest hypocrite. I find myself saying things like “Don’t do what I did...the MCAT IS a big deal” or “Get your shit together. You don’t want to be in my shoes later on”. But the funny thing is, that if they do what I did, they may get into their #1 choice! Right? Is that how that works? o.O
I’m just a big case of SMH. Ignore my ramblings.
le sigh.
