Y'ALL
I beg for opinions🙏🙏
Anyone who wants to read this short story I just did pls do and pls tell me what you think pretty pls :3/nf tho
(gonna put under cut, btw possible tw; death, panic, uh distortion, I hope I made it unsettling, uh idk what else but ye)
Joy. Euphoria. She was working on air—no—running on air, speeding on air. Forget the cliches, she was alive. Battered and broken and barely hanging on but alive. The dull beep, beep, beep of the monitor was enough to confirm that. She was being pulled from which there was no return, she was alive, she was alive.
The hospital checked her out with numerous warnings, the most prominent of which being to call if anything changed, if anything felt off. After all, the procedure was heavily experimental and only was implemented as a last resort. It's not every day that people have machinery put inside them to work as a pump for their heart. Even still, she was giddy with relief—who knew the human survival instinct was this strong?
The next few weeks passed in a blur. She was slowly lowered back into society; first it was just going home with heavy supervision, then it was starting to work from home, then the nurses left—as time progressed, she was left more and more to her own devices.While she was ecstatic she was alive, she couldn't help but notice a few things. She was slower, both mentally and physically, she felt heavier—though, that is to be expected when putting literal machinery into your body—she got dizzy easier, small things like that. She brushed them off, though, the doctors said those were normal side affects, so why worry?
That was, until a few weeks after the surgery. Just when she started to fully believe she was in the clear. Just when all the supervision had left.It was a normal day; she wasn't allowed to leave her house, so she was working from home. She had gotten up and was simply crossing the room when she felt it. A dull thunk that indicated something completely, utterly wrong.
Her immediate thought went to her phone that was supposed to be in her pocket—except she'd left it at her desk. She tried desperately to think of something else, and then she couldn't think anymore.
She fell, crumpled like a discarded piece of paper, to the floor. She gasped for breath, but couldn't feel anything; not the floor beneath her, not the air that was supposed to be in her lungs, nothing but the blunt weight of the pump that once kept her alive, not utterly still. She'd probably be panicking more if she could string more than who words together.
Slowly, she began to numb. Or was it quickly? Time distorted around her as if seen through a kaleidoscope. All sense of direction abandoned her; up was down and down was left, left was up and right was also left. Nothing made sense, not her surroundings, not her feelings, not even what was happening. What was happening? She couldn't seem to remember, only that she was on the floor and couldn't get up...
It was like everything was slowing, freezing. What a silly thought, they weren't anywhere cold, were they? Maybe she was, and she'd just become too numb to notice. Who knows.
Soon, her vision started to blur and blacken, but she didn't mind. She was tired, and her heart felt heavy. It seemed to sink low, lower, down deep into the ground, dragging her eyelids with it. Just a moment's rest couldn't be so bad, right? Just a moment's rest, then she would figure out what was wrong. Just a moment's rest, to fix her heavy heart...
PLS HOW IS IT AND HOW COULD I MAKE IT MORE UNSETTLING I feek like it sucks so pls constructive criticism, pretty pls🙏
