I'm going to tell you what I think. In a dream I had a long time ago I was a bank robber. Looked a lot like I do today except I was taller and stronger. I suspect that I had repented in a Lutheran Church and after leaving while walking down a sidewalk I passed a man sitting on a bench. Turned out he was a bounty hunter who shot me three times in the back and I died. I remember before I was born, a story I've told many times. In a place where there were many of us and between us all was such a powerful love you just cannot put in words. I did not want to come back here, this is why I say I'm not a Star Seed. Star Seeds volunteered to come here, not me, I did not want to come here, but I figure I had to, to make up for what I did, I wasn't given a choice. This time I was made not so big and strong like I was back then. - this is what I strongly believe.
I swear I made a video where I tell the whole story about before I was born, but I can't find it. Above is an article I wrote some time ago, but it doesn't tell the whole story. I'm not going to make another video, I hate making videos, I'm an introvert, not real comfortable with that stuff, so I'll write it all down and post it all here sometime in the future and reblog this.
Event: Angstpril 2025 by @chaos-company
Prompt: Day 2—Chronic Pain
Fandom: Boku No Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Ship: Bakugou Katsuki x Todoroki Shouto | TodoBaku
Rating: T
Tags: Reincarnation AU, dreams of previous life, chronic pain, domesticity
Beta: @sysiumblue
The nightmare that Katsuki had was familiar, but so much worse than usual. Dark views of someone that looked surprisingly like him in a tight shirt and cargo pants and fighting someone a lot bigger than himself. And then, he felt the heat prickle through his veins, before the big boom that he could feel in his wrists. The bones felt like shattering, but they were kept together by a sheer force of will from his body.
Those dreams are how he tries to explain away his wrist problems in day-to-day life, because no doctor could ever find an answer. Nobody knew why he’d be feeling the pain that he was.
He felt a shift in the sheets next to him a few seconds before Shouto’s head popped out from under the mountains of blankets he swears he needs. His eyes immediately fell to where Katsuki was massaging his right wrist. The dreams always made the pain more pronounced.
Without saying anything, Shouto gave him a kiss on his temple before climbing out of bed. Katsuki knew that it was to get all the creams, tapes and guards he always adorned Katsuki with to survive throughout the day.
They didn’t need words for this ritual anymore, Katsuki just hoped he could probably show his appreciation for Shouto the way the love of his life deserved it. But, that brought up the pod of guilt Katsuki always felt after the dreams. He couldn’t tell Shouto. That they always fought. Almost to the point of death. How Katsuki had died at some point.
That even less than lovers, they were sworn to be enemies by trade.
Shouto padded back into the room in his too-big pajamas, and sat cross-legged next to Bakugou. It took him back to when they were just in High School with Shouto in front of his books in the very same position. Tongue sticking out in concentration.
And Katsuki’s chest squeezed knowing that Shouto put the same effort into his care as he did into his studies, his work, everything that had ever been important to him.
Shouto gingerly took Katsuki’s right wrist into his hands and started methodically massaging the inside with deep heat cream before putting on a compression band, securing the wrist guard and fastening it to where he knew Katsuki found it comfortable. With his left wrist, Shouto used sports tape to tape out a makeshift guard. After each turn, Shouto placed little kisses on Katsuki’s wrists; the warmth felt like it would burst out of his chest. He couldn’t care about the position they were in, or the fact that Shouto felt insecure about morning breath most days. Katsuki took Shouto’s face into his hands, letting his thumbs trace out his husband’s face under his own calloused fingers and finally pulled Shouto close enough to kiss him.
Shouto gasped in surprise, before pushing back into Katsuki, and when they pulled back, Shouto had a light flush spreading over his cheeks.
“Good morning, icy.” Katsuki’s voice was still gravelly with sleep and Shouto only sighed and leaned his forehead on Katsuki’s shoulder, drawing closer and relaxed in Katsuki’s embrace.
Yeah, Katsuki didn’t care what happened in the dreams, because they didn’t include this. And this, right here, was everything he wanted from the life he was living.
The Pheasant Firefighter- One of the tales of the Buddha’s previous lives
It’s the story of the pheasant fire extinguisher, one of the oldest jātaka tales in India, are a vast body of literature from India that collects anecdotes about the Buddha's previous lives, mainly in human and animal form. Jataka stories, were depicted on the railings and torans of the stupas.
Once upon a time, a wild fire burnt down a forest. At that time, a pheasant (the previous life of Buddha), who lived in the forest, saw the fire and tried to extinguish it with his own power. The pheasant flew into the water, dipped its feathers in the water and tried to put out the huge fire with drops of water.
However, the fire was too big and the water was too little. The pheasant became tired and feeble from the frequent trips back and forth, but it did not bother him in the slightest. At that moment, the heavenly deity Śakra (Indra: Ref) came and asked the pheasant, “What are you doing?” The pheasant replied, “I am trying to save this forest because I pity sentient beings. This forest is well shaded and suitable for nurturing living beings. Many of my kind and relatives and many more sentient beings all live here as their refuge. I have physical strength. Seeing this fire, how can I be lazy and slothful and not help the forest?”
The Śakra said, “How long do you intend to stay to extinguish the fire?” The pheasant replied, “I intend to stay until I die”. The Śakra said, “Even if thy mind is so, who knows it?” Thereupon the pheasant swore an oath and said, “My heart is supreme sincere. If this belief is not vain, the fire would surely be extinguished."
At this time, the heavenly beings of the Pure Land (the colour world of purity where all desires are renounced), the great aspiration of the pheasant (Bodhisattva = the Buddha), immediately extinguished the fire. From time immemorial to the present, only this forest has always been dense and unburnt by fire.
Anyone want to talk rn? Anyone who's bored and just wants to talk. We can talk about anything. I just don't wanna be alone. Not again. I'll do better. I'll be better. Just give me a chance.
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As a domestic dog therian who's theriotype was abandoned I took the abandonment issues with me. I'm always scared someones gonna leave me. I keep to myself to stop myself from getting hurt. When I do I can't help but still feel attached. Why am I like this? Why do dogs love the people they hurt? Somehow I sympathize the people who hurt me when I was a dog. I'm still suffering from past Stockholm syndrome.
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Is there anyone out there who understands? Anyone? How do I get through this?
