#processed meats

[echodolls]

Is this ham processed?

Reciting the Prophecy

[iftadwascool]

daddy would you like some sausage

[malecaptions]

[cancer-researcher]

[vivian-the-barbarian]

Something I’ve been thinking about for a few years is a parody of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory where it’s a meat processing plant instead. (Partially based on stories I’ve heard from some friends, who are engineers and have gone into meat plants before)

Like I don’t want it to be a horror - I want the kids to make it through unharmed, just like the book, see them at the end scuffed up but unhurt. I want the Willy-Wonka analogue to be just as enthusiastic and have him truly believe that the factory is this whimsical, magical place where dreams come true. And maybe it even is kind of wacky and stange in a lot of ways. But it’s just all processed meats.

There’s a river of gravy. The boat is made out of hard-cured Salami. There’s one refrigerated room with a house-sized block of pâté that they take slices off of to sell. Another room has some kind of machine that randomly produces both bratwurst and knockwurst, and the Oompa-Loompas have an elaborate system to sort them out properly. Wonka shows them an experiment of his, a beef jerky that you can put in water to expand into that shape of a dinosaur, like those little sponge capsules.

Something else: in this version, instead of singing songs, the Oompa Loompas recite dirty limericks. 

[salamitod]

when its

[neurosciencenews]

Beef Jerky and Other Processed Meats Associated with Manic Episodes

People hospitalized for an episode of mania had more than three times the odds of having ever eaten nitrate-cured meats than people without a history of a serious psychiatric disorder.

The research is in Molecular Psychiatry. (full access paywall)

[salamitod]

This is how they act