Was reminded last night of just how far our programming went.
One time our ex had triggered us so violently that we were scream sobbing, we were completely inconsolable. Then they got distressed because we were freaking out.
The minute they expressed negative emotion or distress (there were specific phrases they would say when stressed) our emotions shut off. We became completely silent and calm. We started comforting them as if nothing had happened to us.
We were. Completely numb, nothing of what had happened mattered. We don't even remember what the trigger was, I fundamentally cannot remember what abusive thing they had done to us. I just remember turning off.














