More cursed modern AU anyone? Just ... Hear me out, OK?
Thorin, who owns a piercing shop, is pierced and tatted to the nines and has chronic rbf so just looks angry and surly and mean all the time.
Bilbo, who is sick of being seen as soft and pathetic so he decides an ear piercing is just what he needs to toughen up his image (turns up at the studio in brown chinos and a sweater vest, just fyi).
Nearly bottles it when he catches sight of Thorin, but Thorin is intrigued, so he takes him into the back to get pierced and they get talking. Bilbo gets his piercing, and Thorin's number.
1 year later, they live together, Bilbo's family are still in shock, and Bilbo has a tongue piercing and a lil tattoo of a daisy chain on his hip bone, both of which Thorin did for him.
