Pregnancy is not something to be afraid of.
My whole body went numb as I looked down at the piece of paper on the desk. The moment is forever burned into my mind. I sat uncomfortably in the ice cream parlor pink exam room. The walls covered with colorful bird and cat posters. I realized the nurse was waiting for a response to the test results. Positive.
"Is this a good thing or a bad thing?" She asked. This would not be the last time I heard this question.
"We want kids, it just wasn’t expected so early." I replied. "I’m keeping it, if that’s what you’re asking."
After that it was a wave of information and steps that I needed to take. I left the clinic feeling overwhelmed. My husband had just left on a road trip to Utah for a wedding. I called him. It was the shortest phone call in the history of our relationship. He was freaking out as much as I was.
After some time and a lot of prayer, I felt peace about my surprise pregnancy. After all Heavenly Father wouldn’t set us up for failure when we are following His promptings. But just because I had peace, doesn’t mean things became easy. As a college student, I realized how society views pregnancy.
Any time I looked for resources to finish school and have the baby, I was presented with the ugliest question: “Is this a good thing or a bad thing?”
I was left wondering how the knowledge of good or bad would change the outcome of help.
I spent hours on the phone with the school and school insurance fighting for basic things that I would have gotten if I was still working full time. I fought so hard for these things, not for me, but for my baby.
I remember sitting in one class, hearing how our society is a “pro-natal” society, encouraging women to have babies. I had to question this. After my ten years of working in child care, I realized women felt a lot of pressure to work; women with more than two children were a constant question of sex ed and contraceptions rather than congratulations. This same class, a few weeks later had a guest lecture on sex education (yes, in an upper level college class). The lecture equated pregnancy to an STD. I was sitting in the front row, seven and a half months pregnant. I never felt so appalled.
Being pregnant and in college often resulted in a lot of people (girls mostly) talking to me about my pregnancy. Almost always they would say how they never want to get pregnant, if they have children, it would be through adoption or a surrogate.
I totally got it. After all that had happened, after how pregnancy and birth is shown on TV, girls are now terrified of having children. I understood now why so many could have abortions, after all, they were being taught that pregnancy was a parasitic STD.
I want to tell you that after having my first baby, I am excited to eventually have more. Being a mother has been the best thing in my life. (Yes, my husband is also a best thing, but without him, I wouldn’t be a mom.) don’t be afraid, pregnancy is hard, but worth it. Birth is a lot of work, but an amazing experience. Sure there are things lost in being a mom (a full nights sleep, long showers, hot meals,etc) but the wonder of parenthood more than overshadows those sacrifices.