Dear Penthouse I never thought it would happen to me— No
No shit, there I was. My very first ever Pride, in Providence Rhode Island. It was overwhelm in all the best ways. Sunny, music I could feel in my belly, people people people people people
Eventually, after wandering the stalls, seeing so many things, smelling so many smells, reveling in so many of our people all in one place, I got some pricey but really delicious chicken tenders and sat with my companion by the river. We talked about all sorts of things, and I took great joy in unfettered compliments to folks who walked by. Ears, wings, dresses, tiaras, skulls, glitter, tattoos—
And then someone walked by with, roughly, this shirt
I have only ever seen this referenced on tumblr. And the person was wearing sneakers with colorful ties, and as they came level in front of me, I took a chance.
“Hey!” I called out, “I like your shoelaces!”
It took a moment before the person looked over at me from their phone, said thanks, and kept walking. My companion was chuckling, and I figured, ah well, I tried—
The person sitting on the low wall on the other side of the walkway was staring at me with the most singular expression. I pointed a finger, delighted. “YOU. YOU KNOW!”
That person was giggling now, and the person beside them turned to make a shame gesture with their fingers.
“Oh no,” I crowed, “you know too, which means you can’t shame me!”
Then we were all laughing. Like, tilted my head back, mouth wide open like the animated guy from the reach toothbrush flip top head commercial (if you understand that reference right away we are brain-buddies now) and laughed so hard my belly aches
And then the first person, the shirt and shoelaces person, was in front of me again, confessing. “I had a visceral reaction!” they said, they’d frozen. “…I stole them from the President.”
I l threw up both hands, fists triumphant. “YEEESSSSSS!!!!!”
After all - it is law.
