May 28, 2022
What would be the best D&D Club name for Cats playing?
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What would be the best D&D Club name for Cats playing?
Peter Spankoffski expect he’s Blinky’s disciple.
Peeper Spankoffsee
Yes, my name is Drum. No, I will not elaborate t.
Ed Nygma has the name of an AA npc
Encounters on the Paper Route
(Am still procrastinating by writing this 40K-adventure thing.)
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ENCOUNTERS IN THE CORRIDORS
You are bound to run into something:
1: d20 crew. A single power tool between them 2: d6 armsmen. Nervous, running low on ammo 3: d6 work servitors. Led by a robed tech-adept 4: Rats. Swarming and running over each other 5: A midshipman. Inexperienced, trigger-happy 6: A grot on stilts. Wearing a midshipman’s coat
1: Hiding from 2: Surprised by 3: Clumsily tracking 4: Trying to escape 5: Wrestling down 6: Cornered by
1: A screeching klaxon. It drowns out your voice. 2: Pressure: groaning, hissing, twisting the pipes. 3: d4 security servitors. Who’s controlling them? 4: d20 grots. Whoopy, letting off wooden blastas. 5: A cameleoline shimmer. This is Irrigomantayel. 6: A genestealer. An ominous clatter in the vents.
The first time you roll doubles, you also meet Soror Vihart. She is tailed by an altar boy, who watches her -- and you -- for heresy.
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VIHART EMPEROR’S-DAUGHTER, SOROR DIALOGOUS
“I’m cataloguing warp phenomena. I’m going to be a primary source!” A servo-skull records her observations in a slate-covered codex.
Usually cloistered in a library, Vihart is excited to be on this field trip. No filter. Once she starts info-dumping it’s hard to get her to stop.
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GROTS
“Orkus diminutas, the Gretchin. A secondary component of green-skin ecology.
According to Taeltis et al they are part-fungus; once their spores get into an organic substrate they are difficult to eradicate. Starships aren’t a problem, normally -- but doesn’t this ship carry wood pulp in vast quantities?”
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Grots fight dirty. Will flee if outnumbered. Will taunt you by lifting their barkskin loincloths. No genitals underneath.
Slugs from their wooden pistols pierce flak armour, but stop working in your hands.
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SERVITORS
“Servitors often babble, and sometimes beg to die. The Liber Ryza says we should rejoice at such anguish -- ‘thusly do we know of its human soul, thusly are we certain it hosts no inhuman, abominable intelligence.’”
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Human bodies, mind-wiped and fitted with heavy augmentics. Work servitors have power claws for arms. Security servitors are armed with electro-flails.
Without a supervisor’s commands servitors get stuck performing their last command -- “Tighten valve”; “Purge corridor” -- or start whispering random words.
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CREWMEN & ARMSMEN
“Genetic variance is common in void-borne communities. See that one’s eyes? That one’s webbed hands?
Borrus of Stella Sancti considered all ‘born beyond a planetary sphere’s grace’ unnatural. He was nearly elected Ecclesiarch. What shape would the Imperium have taken, if he had?
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Armsmen usually carry lasguns. They are the only crew allowed weapons. And personal hab units.
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MIDSHIPMEN
“Naval aphorist Jacques Aubrei writes:
‘The officer is the head of the crew, even as the Emperor is the head of all humanity. As all humanity is subject unto the Emperor, so let voidsmen be to their officers in all things. To do otherwise is sin.’”
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These junior officers are outsiders -- petty nobles from core planets. They are too haughty and too green for the crew’s respect.
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RATS
“Rattus rattus astra, the common rat. Found wherever humans are.
They are seen as lucky; more rats mean fewer mutants living in the bilges. A study published in the Merchant Trader’s Almanack 871.M41 found that, on average, rat matter makes up 35.7% of all void-ship rations.”
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Void-borne rats tend to grow to cat size.
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GENESTEALERS
“Corporaptor hominis! Our most recent additions to the Prohibitorium are about these!
Genetors now believe it is a pioneer organism for the Tyranids, a xenos threat from beyond our galaxy’s borders. Imagine! We stand so close to a creature more remote to us than daemons from the Empyrean!”
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Quick, quiet, four arms, talons that rip ceramite. And with their ovipositor they turn you into brainwashed breeding stock.
The ones on the Flaxen Demoiselle have compound eyes. Their vestigial hornet’s wings buzz as they attack.
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ELDAR
“Van Kraus was sentenced to arco-flagellation for suggesting that we can learn from the xenos: ‘Consider cameleoline,’ -- he wrote -- ‘now used by the hallowed Astartes to cloak their passing. Yet cameleoline’s secret comes to us via the Eldar -- proof that even base mud sometimes reflects the Emperor’s light!’”
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IRRIGOMANTAYEL, ELDAR RANGER
He was born to verdant green -- a Maiden World now called Lethe’s Vision.
Returning home after four centuries peripatetic he found his world logged; its skies red at noon from continent-wide peat fires.
“My name is Irrigomantayel. You killed my world. Prepare to die.”
Active camouflage cloak, wraithbone rifle, unerring aim. Preternatural reflexes; kills a human being every time you encounter him.
His ultimate goal is to kill Lictus VI, so he has a vested interest in keeping the ship functional.
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(Pretty fun, though? Because bestiaries often are. Vihart’s info-dumps are a conscious riff on the style of the entries in the Old World Bestiary.) ( Image sources: https://alienseries.wordpress.com/2013/02/04/narcissus/ http://wh.reactor.cc/post/2220548 https://www.pinterest.com/pin/368591550740252345/ https://www.pinterest.com/pin/339599628132928702/ https://warhammer40k.fandom.com/wiki/Void_Born https://www.reddit.com/r/totalwar/comments/70pwmj/scared_scribeslave_is_the_best_thing_to_come_from/ https://www.mobygames.com/game/windows/space-hulk-vengeance-of-the-blood-angels/screenshots/gameShotId,9852/ https://animeonly.org/Fantasy/Fantasy-art-series/john-blanche-warhammer-66863p.html )
You said they have horses? What are their names? - 🌫
The horses are called: Neighbor and Hourse (pronounced like horse)
Yes.... Patton named them.
Punderful Conclusion ~
Pungratulations to @demimonde-quasigoddess, @fractured-infinity and @mardu-lesbian for winning this week’s contest!
Honestly, what’s there to say for commentary on this one? The cards themselves are pretty great, easy to understand and have a variety of power. Let’s just give the individual awards, then:
@demimonde-quasigoddess: Name most cleverly tied to Magic mechanics
@fractured-infinity: Card that made us laugh the most
@mardu-lesbian: Pun that I personally found the most viable for seeing on an actual card, although I also just plain like it.
Thank you all for your entries! I’ll be getting on a plane tomorrow, but hopefully I’ll have commentary written tonight for posting.
Square dances choreographed by Charles Oblong.