#pun tag

[etirabys]

me: [gets up out of my reclining chair, which entails some sproinging and clunking noises]

81k's cat Juniper, who is terrified of everything: [bolts under the sofa]

me, sitting down on 81k: do you know what your cat has in common with the rats that carried the bubonic plague?

81k, sensing a trap: no-o....

me: she has a little flee.

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

...or maybe. a BotFLY on the wall! ...get it. bc there were maggots...and.... and Launda is dead.... get it....

[queenangst]

A book fell on me today. Guess i only have my Shelf to blame

oh my god

[thebrazenandbold]

[sydney-carton-of-sour-milk]

Hey, uhhhhhhhhhhh

Watch the Late Sh0w tonight, if you can, because I don't know if it'll happen or if it'll get edited out, but if there's a point during Midnight C0nfessi0ns when Stephen pulls out a milk carton, and you hear someone in the back go "WOO, CARTON," uh, that's me

[spacekiddan]

YELLow is the loudest colour

im SCREAMING THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET I THINK IM DUMB

[etirabys]

I want to touch his paw. but it is furboten

[etirabys]

the giant: I have no idea why that last thing they gave us in the plane was labeled granola. There was no grain in it. Granola without grain is just... ola.

me: Well, love, they were welcoming you into Argentina.

the giant: [leans in and shows me all of his teeth, bared]