Jul 11, 2023
This will probably be my last year wearing a bikini because I’m old now.
seen from T1
seen from Japan
seen from Russia
seen from Mexico
seen from T1
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Singapore
seen from Argentina
seen from Mexico
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Japan
seen from Japan
This will probably be my last year wearing a bikini because I’m old now.
Red Friday
Can this count? It's something i see all the time. Wasn't sure if it's not in good context.
Living in the wind of passing time. What little of my beauty I can offer, just wish I could understand why many think such a thing.
My restart
So here I am, starting fresh. Trying to get back to focusing on myself and my healthy eating and weight loss. I am determined to do so in a way that makes me feel good, that doesn't sacrifice living my best life, and that makes me feel strong and healthy.
I have a lot of bad habits (candy and sugar is probably top of my list), but I need to do this. I have struggled with my body image for a long time and it sucks to feel shitty about yourself. All I see are my flaws and not my positive attributes.
I started WW in November 2017 and proceeded to lose about 50 lbs in that first year. It was great.
But end of 2018 I found myself struggling with my mental health. I was crying for no reason, and a lot of things just fucked me up. And I think (whether I realized it at the time or not), that's when I started to give up. I would have a bit of a rollercoaster, but always saw my weight creep back up.
Don't believe me? Here's my WW graph:
All time:
Last 6 months:
I know that it is all within my control. I've been working on my mental health, so now it's food and exercise.
But I'm not comfortable going back to things like kickboxing or my gym yet, so time to DIY this stuff.
I don't have a real plan yet, but if someone wants to design a workout routine for me (I have some weights, but not a ton of space and body weight exercise is hardddd when you weigh a lot.)
I am lucky to be working remotely for the foreseeable future, but I need to make the time for myself. Life can't be work and tv and that's it anymore. Like I said on my last post, I'm almost 39 and I want to head into 40 feeling my best.
I get uncomfortable putting my weight out there for the world to see, but fuck it, here it goes. My current weight is 284.8. That's as of this morning, Sunday, August 23, 2020. I don't have a timeline, and I don't have any expectations.
But I'm here, I want to be held accountable, and I need to do this.
LMAO
Me: Wow! I didn’t know Felicia Day was 40.
My Friends: How old did you think she was???
Me: I dunno. Our age.
My Friends: Myssi, you’re 36; D. and J. are 38; B. is 39—she is “our age.”
Stretching out for meetings with a special person. Or just a little bit of a mess in my mind i need to clear.
You at not hear it but I feel the oceans of my body moving forward with me.
Stress free
The past hasn't left me nor has my pain.
No amount of work that you need can cure the unknown waters. Therefore the following hearts message is not intended to be a hero of sorts but reminder we must find ways to cope.
Place to be? In the mean time..
Not been the most friendly in past weeks. Trying to smile, trying to get a hold of the day.
Still my hobbies of traveling and trying new outfits always gets a little bit of me. Maybe it's too revealing?