emo and obsessive sebaslex <3
3.3k words, smut, mentions of self harm and blood
versión en español
In the dim glow of Sebas’s room, the world outside blurred away. No streams, no chats, no prying eyes. Just Sebas and Alex, the two of them locked away in their own little bubble.
Two boys tangled up on the edge of the bed, mouths crashing together in a sloppy, hungry kiss that had been building for hours. Their lips slid wet and messy, tongues pushing deep and uncoordinated. Black eyeliner already smudged faintly at the corners of their eyes from the heat of it all, making them look even more wrecked than usual.
It had started earlier that evening when Sebas had convinced Alex to try it out. He’d held Alex’s face gently between his palms, thumbs brushing the line of his jaw as he tilted his head. The room had gone quiet, nothing but the soft scratch of the pencil against his skin and the sound of their breathing.
Too close.
Dangerously close.
Alex’s throat bobbed with a hard swallow, nerves twisting in his stomach while his gaze dropped helplessly to Sebas’s mouth, making his own lips part on instinct.
Sebas noticed. He paused, locking eyes with him for one charged second.
“You okay?”
His voice came out husky, thick with tension. No teasing, just raw want wrapped in gentleness.
Alex managed a tiny nod, breath shaky.
“Yeah.”
Sebas had gone back to the task without another word, concentrated and silent again, but the air between them had never quite settled.
Now their hands couldn’t stay still. Alex’s fingers dug into the front of Sebas’s shirt, bunching the fabric as he pulled him closer, while Sebas’s palms roamed hot and needy over Alex’s chest, sliding under the hem of his shirt to trace the skin of his stomach.
They marked each other softly, nails scraping lightly down their ribs, thumbs pressing into their sides, mouths breaking apart just long enough to gasp before crashing back together.
Every touch felt electric, breathless, like they were starving and couldn’t get enough.
Even with the hesitation still flickering in Alex’s chest, that familiar guilty twist about how good this felt, how much he wanted it despite the quiet voice in the back of his head telling him it’s wrong, he couldn’t stop himself from arching into Sebas’s hands.
His back curved, pressing his body flush against Sebas, a soft, involuntary sound slipping out when his fingers dipped lower, teasing the waistband of Alex’s pants.
Sebas broke the kiss just enough to trail his lips along Alex’s jaw, voice low and rough against the shell of his ear. “Fuck, look at you… so pretty like this. You have no idea how good you look right now.”
Alex’s breath hitched, cheeks burning under his gaze. “Sebas… I- I don’t know if-”
“You do know,” Sebas murmured, gentle but insistent, one hand sliding up to cup the back of Alex’s neck while the other pressed flat against his chest, feeling the frantic thud of his heart. He kissed the corner of Alex’s mouth, slow and coaxing, then pulled back just enough to meet his eyes.
“Tell me. I can feel how much you want this. Say it for me, baby. What do you want?”
Alex whimpered against Sebas’s lips, the sound shaky and needy as another slow roll of Sebas’s hips ground them together. His hands trembled where they gripped Sebas’s shoulders, but he arched again anyway, chasing the friction, the heat, the way Sebas’s thigh fit perfectly between his legs.
“C’mon,” Sebas whispered, voice filled with that same careful tension, thumb stroking soothing circles just below Alex’s ear.
“I know you feel it too. Tell me how good it is. Admit it… you want my hands on you like this. Want me to keep going?”
Alex’s lashes fluttered, smudged liner making his eyes look even darker, and another soft whimper escaped him as he pressed closer, lips brushing Sebas’s with every ragged breath.
“I… I want it,” Alex finally admitted, voice cracking on the words, still hesitant, that guilty heat twisting low in his gut even as his body betrayed him.
“Fuck, Sebas, I want your hands on me. Don’t stop.”
Sebas’s mouth curved into a slow, hungry smile against his, one hand sliding up to thread through Alex’s dark hair while the other kept stroking teasing circles over his hip.
“That’s it, baby. Good boy. I knew you’d say it.”
He kissed him deeper, tongue sliding slow and filthy, tasting the faint salt of their shared desperation as their bodies rocked together in that same needy rhythm, hips grinding in lazy, deliberate circles that made Alex’s breath stutter.
They kept going like that for long, heated minutes, hands roaming hotter, mouths wetter, teeth nipping at swollen lips and jawlines, until Sebas reached blindly toward his nightstand without breaking the kiss. His fingers closed around the small blade he kept there, pulling it out slow and deliberate, the sound echoing softly in the quiet room.
Alex stayed glued to him, chest pressed tight, unable to pull away even as his eyes flicked down to the blade.
“Sebas… what are you doing?” he asked quietly, heart hammering against Sebas’s palm.
Sebas’s eyes never left his, dark and intense behind the faint smudges of his own eyeliner.
“Gonna show you exactly how much I want you,” he murmured, voice low and steady.
“Watch me.”
He brought the knife to his own wrist first, pressing the sharp edge. Alex watched, transfixed and breathless, as Sebas carved slow, careful letters. His name, A-L-E-X, into his skin. Thin lines of bright red bloomed instantly down the curve of his wrist.
“This is fucked up,” Alex breathed, voice strained.
But he didn’t move, didn’t pull back, couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight of Sebas’s blood and the way his chest rose and fell with each deliberate stroke.
Sebas set the knife aside for a second, cupping Alex’s flushed cheek with his free hand and pulling him into a slow, intimate kiss. Their lips met soft and deep.
“Shh, it’s okay,” Sebas whispered against his mouth between kisses, gentle and coaxing.
“You’re safe with me. I’d never hurt you more than you can take. You trust me, right?”
Alex hesitated, face burning hot, lips parted. His breath shook. Then he nodded, small and shaky.
“Yeah… I do.”
Sebas’s smile softened, eyes locked on his. He picked the knife back up and finished the last letter on his own wrist, then brought it to his lips and licked the fresh blood clean in one slow drag of his tongue, holding eye contact the whole time. The sight made something dark and twisted twist low in Alex’s stomach.
Then Sebas turned the blade toward Alex’s wrist, fingers gentle against his soft skin.
“Your turn, pretty boy.”
Alex hissed softly the second the edge bit in. Sebas carving his own name in careful, shallow strokes.
S-E-B-A-S
“Does it hurt?” Sebas asked, thumb stroking soothingly along Alex’s forearm.
“Just a little,” Alex admitted, breath catching, but he didn’t flinch away.
“You can handle it,” Sebas reassured softly, finishing the last letter before setting the knife down.
“You’re doing so good for me.”
He leaned in and licked the blood from Alex’s fresh cuts in one long, deliberate stroke, tongue hot and wet against the stinging skin, never breaking eye contact.
Then he kissed the wounds, soft, reverent presses of his lips right over the bleeding letters, soothing the burn with gentle touches that pulled another shaky whimper from Alex’s throat.
Alex looked back at him, he couldn’t pull away when Sebas looked at him like that, hungry and raw with open desire, like he’d burn the whole world down just to keep him.
“You’re crazy,” Alex whispered, eyes half lidded, lips parted and trembling.
Sebas pulled him back in without hesitation, crashing their mouths together again in a deeper, messier kiss. Alex tasted his own blood this time, metallic and warm, mixing with Sebas’s on their tongues as they licked into each other’s mouths.
“Crazy for you,” Sebas murmured hotly against his lips between filthy, open mouthed kisses, hands roaming possessive over Alex’s waist.
“You have no idea how obsessed I’ve been. Since before we even met, watching every stream, every clip, jerking off to your voice in my headphones like a fucking loser. I’ve been waiting so long to have you like this. All mine. Just mine.”
Alex faltered for a second, body tensing against him. That familiar hesitation and reluctance flickering through the haze of want.
The confession hung heavy, almost stalkerish. Too much, too dark, but he didn’t say a word about it. Because some fucked up part of his mind found it romantic, twisted and sweet all at once, and the hint of satisfaction that bloomed in his chest at being wanted that badly made his cock twitch harder against Sebas’s thigh.
He couldn’t help it. He was just as obsessed.
And eventually he melted back into Sebas without a word, whimpering and moaning against his lips.
Their hands escalated immediately, roaming all over each other with desperate urgency, like they physically couldn’t stop touching. Fingers digging into fabric, palms sliding hot and greedy over every inch of skin they could reach. The fresh cuts on their wrists stung sharp with every movement, blood smearing in faint, sticky streaks.
It was fucked up, the way the pain only made everything hotter, feeding straight into that twisted romantic haze in both of their brains.
Proof that they were marked,
claimed,
bleeding for each other.
Sebas gripped Alex’s hips and pulled him forward. “C’mere,” he murmured, voice rough and low, guiding him smoothly onto his lap so Alex was straddling him, knees sinking into the mattress on either side. His fingers pressed gently but firmly into the soft flesh of Alex’s waist, thumbs stroking slow circles over the waistband of his pants.
Alex couldn’t help it, he arched into the touch instantly, spine curving as a shaky breath punched out of him.
“Sebas… fuck…”
“That’s it,” Sebas praised softly, one hand sliding up to thread through Alex’s long hair and tug gently, tilting his head back to expose the line of his throat.
“Arch for me just like that. So fucking pretty when you give in.”
He leaned in and dragged his mouth along the newly exposed skin, lips and tongue hot against Alex’s pulse point.
Alex groaned softly at the pull on his hair, the sensation shooting straight down his spine and making his cock twitch hard in his pants.
“Sebas- ngh- shit, that feels…” voice cracking, hips already rolling forward on instinct.
“Yeah?” Sebas murmured, lips brushing the shell of his ear before he sucked another mark just below it.
“You like when I pull your hair?”
Alex’s hands kept roaming urgently in response. Yanking at fabric until both shirts were shoved off and tossed somewhere on the floor, leaving them bare chested and pressed skin to skin.
Alex’s palms immediately found Sebas’s chest, groping the firm swell of his breasts, squeezing, thumbs brushing over the dark nipples that hardened under his touch.
Sebas groaned against his collarbone.
“You like your hands on me, don’t you?”
He kissed down Alex’s own chest in return, slow and deliberate, lips closing around one of his nipples to tease it with his tongue before sucking softly, making Alex’s back arch again as he cursed under his breath.
“Yeah… fuck, yeah.”
They were both grinding against each other now, dry humping in slow, filthy rolls of their hips. Sebas guiding Alex’s waist with both hands, fingers pressing in possessively to set the rhythm.
Their cocks were already fully hard, straining against their pants, rubbing together through the fabric in urgent, needy strokes that made the room fill with quiet, desperate sounds.
“Ah- fuck,” Alex panted, the word breaking into a soft whimper.
“Ngh… yeah, just like that,” Sebas answered, breath hot against Alex’s neck, his own hips snapping up to meet every grind.
“Hear how good you sound for me?”
Inside, Alex was still a bit hesitant, the weight of Sebas’s earlier confession sitting heavy in his chest.
But he couldn’t stop.
Not when it felt this good.
Not when Sebas was looking at him like he was the only thing that existed.
He just kept moving, chasing the friction, letting the heat drown everything else.
Sebas’s hand wandered lower, slipping underneath the waistband of Alex’s pants and boxers in one smooth motion.
“Let me take care of you,” he murmured, voice thick with tension as his fingers wrapped around Alex’s cock, pulling it free into the cool air. He stroked him gently, slow, deliberate pulls from base to tip, thumb swiping over the leaking head.
“God, you’re so wet already,” Sebas murmured, lips brushing Alex’s ear.
“You feel so fucking good in my hand. You like that? Me touching you like this?”
Alex whimpered, hips stuttering into the stroke.
“Y-yeah- fuck, don’t stop-”
His own hands fumbled more urgently, shoving Sebas’s pants down just enough to free his cock too, wrapping his fingers around his thick, hot length and stroking with shaky, desperate pulls.
“Easy, baby,” Sebas laughed softly, breathless, catching Alex’s wrist to slow him down.
“I wanna make it last.”
But he didn’t stop Alex either. Instead he guided their cocks together, hot skin sliding against hot skin, slick with precum, rubbing them slow and deliberate in his fist.
The wet slide was obscene, filthy, perfect. Every drag pulling matching gasps from them.
“Ah- Sebas-”
“Ngh- fuck, Alex-”
They rocked into each other like that, foreheads pressed together, eyeliner still smudged, breaths mingling in short, desperate pants.
“More,” Alex finally whispered, voice small and flustered, cheeks burning even as his hips jerked forward again.
“Please- Sebas, I need more-”
Sebas kissed him slow and deep, swallowing the plea.
“I know, pretty boy. I’ve got you.”
His thumb brushed over the head of Alex’s cock again, teasing the slit, spreading more precum.
“I’m gonna take my time with you. You can wait for me, can’t you? Just a little longer.”
Alex nodded desperately, the motion jerky and eager as his half lidded eyes stayed locked on Sebas’s.
The silent plea in that nod made Sebas’s mouth curve into a gentle smile, his thumb still stroking slow circles along Alex’s leaking cock where he held them both together in his fist.
“Good boy,” Sebas murmured, voice low and warm.
“Such a good fucking boy for me.”
He pulled Alex into another kiss before the words could fully settle, their mouths sliding together wet and deep, tongues tangling in a slow, filthy rhythm that made them both groan quietly. They kept rubbing their cocks like that, hot, slick lengths sliding against each other in Sebas’s loose grip, precum mixing in messy, obscene streaks that coated both of them and dripped down to their stomachs.
Sebas’s free hand stayed planted on Alex’s waist, fingers pressing in firm and possessive, pulling him closer with every slow grind so their bodies stayed flush, skin on skin, sweat already starting to shine between them.
Sebas took his time, never quite fast enough to push either of them over the edge, just enough to keep them trembling, leaking, aching. Dragging it out in that torturous rhythm while he murmured praises between kisses.
“Look at you… so hard for me, leaking all over my hand like you can’t help it. You feel so good, baby, warm and wet and perfect.”
He broke the kiss just enough to tug gently at Alex’s hair again, tilting his head back for better access, then pressed sloppy, open mouthed kisses down the line of his jaw and along the side of his neck, sucking soft marks into his skin that would stand out in the morning.
Alex arched hard into every touch, spine curving, a needy whimper slipping out as those lips branded him. Hips rolling down instinctively, chasing the slow drag of their cocks together.
Sebas groaned against his throat, teeth grazing lightly before he sucked another mark right below Alex’s ear.
“Arch for me again. Let me feel how bad you need it.”
Alex moaned softly and obeyed, pushing his flushed skin right against Sebas like he was offering himself completely.
The buildup stretched long and intense, every grind and stroke deliberate, their breaths growing shorter and hotter against each other’s mouths. Alex’s hands roamed restlessly over Sebas’s bare chest, nails scraping lightly over his nipples, while Sebas kept one hand fisted in his hair and the other working them both in that same unhurried rhythm.
The cuts on their wrists had dried to faint, sticky lines, but every shift still pulled a faint sting that only fed the heat, turning the pain into something dark and beautiful in their twisted little bubble.
“Sebas- ngh- please, I’m so close-” Alex panted, voice wrecked and breathless, hips stuttering.
“I know, baby, I know,” Sebas whispered back, kissing him again, deeper this time, tongue sliding slow against Alex’s as he tightened his grip just enough to make them both gasp.
Their sounds mixed together, Sebas grunting low and rough, Alex panting needy little “ah- ah- fuck-” noises that grew higher and more desperate with every drag. They stayed pressed mouth to mouth, sharing every breath, every whimper, eyes fluttering half shut as the pleasure coiled tighter and tighter.
Sebas’s hips jerked up hard, a deep grunt tearing from his throat.
“Alex- fuck-” as the first thick rope of cum spilled hot and messy over his own fist and across Alex’s cock. Alex followed right after, overwhelmed and overstimulated, a broken “ngh- Sebas- ah-” spilling from his lips as he came in pulsing streaks, painting both their stomachs and chests in sticky white.
Both of them were shaking, teary eyed from the intensity, the black liner on their eyes smudging further.
Alex squeezed his eyes shut on instinct, overwhelmed, and buried his face against Sebas’s neck, hiding in the warm, sweaty curve of his skin.
Sebas’s hand left his hair to cup the back of his head gently. “Hey… look at me,” he breathed, voice still strained but soft.
“I wanna see you when you finish, baby. Let me see those pretty eyes.”
Alex obeyed after a second, pulling back just enough to meet his gaze, lashes clumped and liner wrecked. They spilled the last weak pulses against each other, making an even bigger mess, more cum dripping down their skin.
They came down slowly, breathing hard and heavy, chests heaving as they leaned into one another from pure exhaustion. Sebas caught Alex’s wrist first, the one with his name carved in, and brought it to his lips.
He kissed the cuts one last time, soft, lingering presses of his mouth right over the dried letters, holding eye contact the whole time. The contact stung just a little, the pain dulled now but still there, a faint throb that made Alex’s breath hitch.
Alex met his gaze with half lidded eyes, mouth softly open, face flushed and glistening with sweat. He couldn’t break away as Sebas’s eyes slowly traced every inch of his face, quiet hunger wrapped in devotion, like Alex already belonged to him completely.
Sebas pulled him closer then, both hands coming up to hold Alex’s face gently, thumbs brushing along his cheekbones. Their noses brushed, foreheads resting together.
“You look so beautiful like this,” he whispered, thumb wiping gently at the smudged eyeliner under Alex’s eye, spreading the black a little more.
“All wrecked and mine.
All fucking mine.”
Alex melted into his touch completely, eyes slipping shut as he leaned in further, breathing warm and slow against the side of Sebas’s neck. He rested there, exhausted, body heavy, every muscle loose and trembling.
Sebas held him just as tight, one arm wrapped around his waist, the other stroking slow, soothing lines up and down his bare back. He was exhausted too, breath still ragged, but he leaned into Alex just the same, chin resting on top of his head, hair clinging damp to both their foreheads.
He pressed one last kiss to Alex’s forehead, slow, lingering, sweaty hair sticking to his lips, before they stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, the room quiet except for the sound of their breathing and the faint, shared heartbeat between them.
<3
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sorry this took forever to finish LOL
