qualms
for @wolfstarmicrofic
"Remus, Moony - how many times have I bloody told you -" Sirius' footsteps come creaking down the old wood steps of the cottage, following the path Remus had just tread.
"He's gotten... it's just been...different. Harder. Over the years. Is all I'm saying." The first time he's admitted it, out loud, and it has to be to Sirius. Who else, really? Remus looks away, his eyes catching the last rays of the weak wintertime sun. He's tired, his limbs positively aching for the moon to break and reform them into something stronger than the sad sack of bones he currently inhabits. He looks at Sirius, standing earnestly at the base of the stairs, still too pale, still too thin, but at least his shorn hair is gaining back its ebony luster. Running out of time to argue, the resolve that was so strong a week ago crumbling against the weight of the moon, Remus heaves a quiet sigh.
"I don't want to hurt you."
"Remus, I know you. Padfoot knows you. It's the first moon since I've -" Sirius pauses, takes the final step down into the room. "Let me help. Please. I just, I just want to help you." It's the closest to begging Remus has seen him in a long time, ever, perhaps, and it upsets his already queasy stomach.
"Ok, ok." Remus watches Sirius move closer at his surrender. Despite their difference in size, Sirius has always managed to make Remus feel small, permeate his space in way where he is just everywhere, and Remus thinks Sirius knows exactly what he's doing now, crowding him up against the door.
"But you have to promise me -" Remus starts, but gets distracted at Sirius' hand, just now rested on his shoulder, and Sirius' face, a hint of a smile, cocksure and seventeen again playing at his lips.
"I prom -" His eyebrows raised, eyes wide in that way of his. Sirius' entire visage sends Remus back to memories of their youth, whispering war-time promises and reassurances like prayers.
"No, promise me, Sirius, that if it gets bad, if Padfoot can't control me, that you'll go. Please. It's not as easy without -" Remus stops himself. "Just promise me."
"To you Moony, I promise. Cross m' heart and all that." Sirius' other hand weaves it's way into Remus', warm and heavy and familiar. Remus tries not to smile, bites back the clear sign that will give Sirius the satisfaction of winning, and pushes the backdoor open.
"Let's see if Pads can still keep up then, yeah? Remus taunts, leading them out into the dimming garden, hands still intertwined, grasps just a bit tighter.
"Oh don't you start - " Sirius' protests are cut off, definitely accidentally, as Remus pulls him closer, and disapparates, sending them off into the light the of the rising moon with a pop.
cross-posted on A03
