In response to: “How do lgbtq+ bars feel about straight/cisgender women going to them? I want to respect them but also feel safe”
If your going for an event where you are going to pay queer performers: I encourage you.
If your going with queer friends who invite you: I encourage you.
If your going because you just like the bar and the people: cool, I hope you make friends
If your going because folks their have previously rly enjoyed your company and told you they hope you come back: cool, I hope you make friends.
If youre going to learn more about queer folks : there are often better avenues for that, tho not always.
If youre going for safety from shitty dudes: there are often better avenues for that, tho not always.
If youre going to gawk at how strange we are: fuck off
If youre going to “prove” you support the queer community: fuck off
If your going on a night that’s specifically for queer people to meet other queer people: fuck off
But in general, just being aware of the fact that it isn’t your space, that you are a visitor to it, is the most important thing.
Treat it like the home of someone you care for. Be comfortable, ask for what you need, socialize, and contribute. But don’t try to take ownership over the space, and acknowledge that there are times when you shouldn’t be there
For example, Yesterday was Trans Day of Remembrance. Many people, including non-queer ppl, have reasons to go to events relevant to that. However, if you don’t feel like you have a personal reason to go, if you don’t have a solemn conection to what that day means, if you are going for fun, then queer bars are not for you on that day.
I hope this clears things up at least a bit, and I hope you find lovely community to be with.
