#queer rant

[eldritchlani]

Having parents that are good parents but aren't accepting of lgbtq stuff is weird because like, why am I grieving you while you're still alive. I'm going out doing stuff with you guys as a family that I would usually want to avoid because 'welp, when they find out, this is never gonna happen again.'

Like I just went fishing with my dad today. I have never wanted to go fishing before, until earlier when I realized that when they inevitably find out about the gay stuff, I'm never gonna have the chance to do it.

Every time I'm having a good time with them, I'm happy. I can pretend for a minute that everything is gonna be fine and dandy forever. But there's always this pit in my stomach knowing that it's not really gonna last.

And I know it goes without saying, but it really fucking hurts.

All I want is to stay close with you, to go out to dinner, to joke around, to help with the yard work, to show you my art, to visit on the holidays, and spend birthdays with you, but it's not gonna happen.

[beeari]

I hate it when I see ship content related to lotf that has nothing to do with sexual content or anything yet someone comments "they are 12 year olds".

because it pushes the harmful stereotype that being gay is inherently sexual, that same sex relationships are not based on love and mutual care but purely on lust.

Also you don't hit a certain age and suddenly you turn queer, it is something you discover overtime and it's different for every person.

Another thing is that queer people have existed for as long as humanity has existed. Just because it was the 50s and homophobia was rampant does not mean homosexual people didn't exist, it just means they had to hide. But having to keep their sexual preferences from public eyes doesn't make an individual less queer.

What pisses me off the most is that if one of them was a girl no one would bat an eye.

[surfspooky]

Nonsensical rant incoming, I've just seen a couple posts like this and it has been mildly pissing me off. I may have been successfully rage-baited.

We need to stop assuming peoples labels. I'm a heavy no label guy so I'm bias, but I always had people breathing down my neck assuming I'm gay just because I'm a feminine man. I am not gay, for the record, I don't use labels - but no REAL PERSON is required to tell you that.

Just because a man is not traditionally masculine does not mean that he is gay, or bisexual, or any fun label you want to place on him. Just because he is comfortable in his skin does not mean he is queer. He COULD be, but that is not up for you to decide - you don't get to dictate what a celebrities label or status is just by outwardly observing. That is up for the person to decide, and if they don't want to then they do not have to.

Leave people alone!! Is all I'm saying lol.. this is specifically about David Dastmalchian I've seen several people make comments assuming he's gay or bi just because of how he acts, or because he kisses his friends. This guy is a real person, he's not fictional, he's not a character for you to headcanon - he has a brain, a life, and a world completely outside of anything fans see. You don't know anything about anyone more than they know about themself.

If he uses labels and wants to comment on it, that's up to him, but he does not owe anybody that. He can just be himself, and that is perfectly fine. He does not need to be any specific thing to resonate heavily with people who see themselves in his work, or to connect with queer folks.. y'know?

Perhaps this is coming from a place of projection, as a non-conforming queer man who is not any label but that and had SO many placed on me just because of how I look or act.. it is very annoying, disheartening, and makes you feel disconnected from the community when everyone is so obsessed with shoving you into a box.

Be respectful to people please I beg - think about how it would make you feel for people to constantly speculate what your romantic preferences are when that has nothing to do with your work.

[perfectlydreamysunflower]

So there’s this trans woman i know, who keeps saying she wants to “turn every man into a woman” and “chop off their balls,” and like… girl, GIRL! What are you doing? Are you rehearsing for a slasher film audition in front of me? is this your villain origin monologue??

I get where it comes from, if you’ve lived your whole life being told your gender is wrong, your body is wrong, your existence is wrong; sometimes you cope by flipping the script. you take all that powerlessness and you invert it. Suddenly it’s “haha what if i had control over other people’s gender.” It’s edgy, it’s dark humour, it’s trauma cosplay. Psychologically, projection 101. Sociologically, it’s a way of imagining power when the world has denied you any.

But not everything that helps you survive internally should be unleashed on random people externally because when you start broadcasting “snip snip ball-chopping fantasy hour,” you’re not just doing catharsis, you’re reinforcing every nasty stereotype cis people already cling to, the “trans ppl want to convert us” narrative, the “they’re dangerous” narrative. You’re not flipping the script anymore, you’re handing the haters their script back, gift-wrapped.

Like, i respect your identity, i really do, but respecting your identity doesn’t mean i’m required to sit politely while you threaten my hypothetical balls. I can empathise with your pain and say “keep that bit off-stage", both can be true.

Maybe let’s not turn trauma into a performance at other people’s expense. Reclaim your power, absolutely, but don’t drag the rest of us into your improv show.

[hyzensflowershop]

I don’t talk about my gender or sexual identity much because that’s legitimately nobody’s business, but I kinda wanted to touch on something that idk if it’s talked about a lot.

I’m a demigirl. I’ve been identifying this way for about 6 years now and it’s what I’m comfortable being perceived as. To explain it in the way that suits me, I am a girl but I’m not. I use feminine terms. I enjoy being fem. But I’m not a girl and don’t view myself as one. I do experience dysphoria on occasion, too fem, not fem enough. I don’t enjoy when people solely put me into one box. What box I should be in, I don’t know, I may never know. That doesn’t matter. What matters is that people understand that I am not “just a girl” (even if I may say that sometimes lol) or “just non-binary”. I am both at once.

I remember talking to a friend about my identity once, since both our pronouns online were set to she/they. She said “she/they just looks better than she/her” and at the time, I just felt kind of invalidated that my identity was just boiled down to an aesthetic.

I remember a point in time where I was bullied for my pronouns being she/they because it was considered attention seeking behavior. “If you’re fine with going by she/her and you’re afab then you’re just a girl.” Which is stupid. I am okay with it but that doesn’t imply that that is solely my identity.

I remember a friend thinking my identity would fluctuate and my entire friend group asking me whether I felt more feminine or more non-binary every day to gauge what pronouns I wanted when in truth I just wanted to be seen as a middle ground.

Any time people refer to me, they use she, which is fine, I really couldn’t care less. My close people use they and I appreciate that. I wish I could communicate that I am both without making people lean towards one or the other.

My pronouns being she/they and my identity as a demigirl is important to me. In the words of Janet from The Good Place, “I’m not a girl.” Janet, a fem presenting, she/her using, entity, is not a girl, so why can’t I be as well? I’m a demigirl and I’m very real.

Idk if other demigender people ever feel this way, but I wanted to touch on it bc it’s bothered me a lot recently and I start to wonder about how people perceive me from time to time.

Sorry for the big text post, I’ll get back to bullshit silly posts soon!!

[vampzzstarzz]

I hate how some straight people react to queer media, oh feminine person, so they must be a submissive bottom masc person, so they must be a dominant top like that's not how that works and don't get me started on omegaverse like I love it but sometimes it pisses me off like how does the soft feminine character become the omega why can't they be the alpha

and then some cis people have a nerve to hate on anything trans like what do you mean oh I didn't like it because the character was nonbinary or trans

and don't even get me started on the lack of sapphic and enbian media

[yonderghostshistories]

probs one of the worst things about living with queerphobic/transphobic family is the amount of gaslighting and emotional manipulation you have to deal with.

Stuff like “oh think of the community”, “oh think of your older brother, he said he’ll leave the family if you don’t change”, “oh your dad will kick me out if you’re like this”, “oh are you not grateful?”, “I always listen to you and do you what YOU want, why don’t you listen to what *I* say and do what *I* want?”, blah blah blah, it’s just…tiresome in all honesty

stuff like this is just contributing to my trust issues lowkey, and whilst I do know it’s absolutely bullshit, it honestly makes me feel like I’m too much of a burden to the family, which isn’t a good thing if you want your own kid to be able to actually rely on you and be able to trust and be honest with you, ya’know?