7. The Problem with Questions
Location: Watchtower.
Status: Ordinary meeting (which is precisely when disasters happen)
The meeting room hums softly with holograms and overlaid reports. Barry is eating something pink that is anything but natural, with pink cake underneath. Hal is half-reclined in his chair. Arthur looks tired, like a king with a heavy crown.
Bruce stands near the main console, arms crossed beneath his cape.
Clark struggles not to look at him too much.
Five days in which Bruce is physically incapable of lying.
Five days in which Clark discreetly helps him navigate conversations as if handling unstable explosives with oven mitts.
Hal: So, Batman, a quick question.
Clark closes his eyes mentally.
Hal: Did you hack my constructions last week just to prove you could?
That doesn’t really prove anything either. Bruce does things like that sometimes and doesn’t regret them. And he usually has no incentive to lie to Hal when he does, because he doesn’t care what Hal thinks of him.
It is also not unusual for Barry to burst out laughing and spit some crumbs.
Bruce: You leave the encryption exposed through the feedback loop.
Cyborg stops typing and raises a hand to stop them before they enter their own feedback loop.
He opens the code projections. Scans them.
Victor: …You did. It is exposed.
Hal: That’s not the point! The point is he admits it!
Barry: That proves nothing. He loves pointing out your mistakes to your face.
Hal: But I asked if you only did it to prove you could!
Barry shrugs, and there are a lot of looks exchanged among the League members, except Clark and Diana. Clark keeps his gaze fixed on the table. Diana looks at Bruce and catches him before speaking.
Diana: Batman, could you tell me a lie right now?
Batman’s lips whiten as he presses them together, displeased and trapped.
They are heroes, so there is no idle murmuring, just tension and Barry’s exclamation of “damn it,” setting his radioactive pink bun aside.
Arthur: That’s… concerning.
Bruce already hates this.
Diana watches him intently from the other side of the room, but she doesn’t agree with Arthur; she doesn’t seem worried. She looks… content. Quietly happy.
Clark, now looking at Bruce, intervenes before anyone else can.
All heads turn to him, and Bruce looks like a man watching his own funeral.
Bruce: It happens on Rann, when we deactivate the Thanagarian artifact. Superman is there.
Victor: The World’s Finest…
It is a murmur, but everyone hears it just before it erupts. There are reproaches about dates and hiding problems, and incredulous laughter because Batman can’t lie.
Diana: Is someone taking care of it?
Diana nods, and the general conversation is about to resume. Clark knows he could stay silent, but he also knows that, even if Bruce gets annoyed, now that the cat is out of the bag, they have to expose everything or there will be real problems.
Clark: Is someone handling it who isn’t you? Or me?
Bruce has the decency not to look at anyone.
Bruce: No, but it is enough.
Hal’s irritated sigh is the first response, but not the only one. Arthur rests his head on his hand, Hawkgirl looks tense. Victor, incredulous. Barry…
Bruce: I am working on it. And that is optimal.
Again, exasperated reactions follow, and this time even Diana and Clark join in.
Hal: And the guy believes it too—he mutters before leaning in until he makes contact with Bruce, who is still standing with arms crossed, facing them next to the data-filled screens—Then let’s take advantage, since you don’t feel like fixing it fast: do I appeal to you?
Barry falls off his chair laughing.
Arthur covers his mouth. All the tiredness has vanished from him.
Hal: I know! I didn’t expect you to actually not like me at all!
Bruce: I tolerate you more than you think.
The response is so quick that, even without seeing Bruce’s eyes, everyone imagines it is a truth that slips out, even though no one has asked a question.
Hal: I have seen how you talk to the Robins. I take it as a compliment.
Clark smiles, despite himself, and is surprised when his gaze meets Bruce’s. He sees no trace of reproach, so, like Hal, he decides to think the best and believe Bruce also has fun.
Barry: And me, Bats? Me? Do I appeal to you?
Knowing he is caught, Batman rolls his eyes.
Bruce: You all appeal to me.
Barry: Some more than others?
Clark can only shake his head. Barry will always be a brat.
Bruce: Yes. And you are dropping in rank now.
The League laughs again. Clark has known for years that Bruce is funny when he chooses to speak, but it is always, always great to see.
He is about to intervene to keep the moment going, but they get to it first:
Clark: I didn’t say anything.
He didn’t, and besides, he can lie.
Bruce: You were about to.
When they calm down, it is Diana who speaks.
Diana: This must be exhausting.
Bruce responds automatically.
There is laughter again, but now it is just sighs because everyone knows the gravity behind that reality: Bruce could get exhausted and exposed. Not just as Batman to civilians, but as Bruce to villains—and even discover parts of himself before he wants them discovered.
Victor: We can minimize unnecessary interactions until we solve it.
Hawkgirl: And we need to alert a magic expert.
Both suggestions collide.
Bruce: Zatanna first. Constantine if that does not work.
Clark would like to alert both, but he will not be the one to expose Bruce’s secret to anyone else unless everything is in danger again. Or Bruce himself is.
Slowly, Diana nods, and Victor starts typing some things on his screen. Everyone is serious because the reality of Batman possibly being cursed is never good.
Gradually, the session comes to an end, and everyone is standing, ready to leave, when Barry raises his hand.
Barry: Before we go, I want to make it clear that this is the most fascinating thing that has ever happened.
Clark smiles as he leaves the room. It is nice that the final tone is pleasant.
