#questioning ask

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

Hey I have a question if that’s alright with you. I’m an 18 F who’s asexual and demiromantic. So I’ve only ever had one romantic crush and it was in 6th grade. So like does the fact that the only crush I’ve had was on a guy make me straight? Because I’ve always been like I’d be happy dating someone of any gender as long as I knew them well and felt a connection.

Hey!! Mod Amaranth back at it

So I admit this isn't exactly my wheelhouse. But I say that identity is whatever you think works best for you!! If you think straight is the label that works for you, then yeah, go for it. If you think a different label would be better, even if you haven't necessarily had a crush on more than one person, then go for that!! You can always change your labels and identity is fluid

Hope this helps!! <3

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

is a there such a thing as alterous-spike but like. opposite? so instead of not feeling alterous affection and then having spikes of it, its usually feeling alterous affection and having spikes of not feeling it

because i usually feel alterous affection pretty well but then every once in a while i have a little 'I DONT LOVEMY PARTNER??????' freak out? is that a thing and if so whats it called?

hi mod amaranth here

so i found out there's a thing called acejump, which is what you described for sexual attraction. i would see no reason why alterousjump wouldn't exist.

hope this helps!

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

Is it normal for other aces to have "sexual thoughts " like I wonderr how it would be like to do x or y with someone but have no actual desire to actually do so. And also, do other aces have freaky thoughts/more libido when their period is approaching? - A confused ace that feels worthless everytime this shit happens.

hi mod amaranth back at it

yeah that's totally normal. the period thing has a biological basis (something something hormones). asexuals can have and enjoy sex. asexuals can hate sex and never do it. asexuals can do whatever the fuck they want tbh as long as consent is involved.

[intersex-ask-blog]

hi!

im doing some research and trying to find out if im intersex, but i would love an intersex person's opinion!

(if this is too much of a tmi you can ignore it!/gen)

i hit puberty really early, earlier than any of my peers. during puberty, i noticed that my afab genitals were growing? and that it was larger than my partners/the average persons. i also had a deep voice for a "girl" (im transmasc now), had *some* light facial hair, extremely thick and dark hair on my arms, irregular and SUPER heavy periods (was diagnosed with "dysmenorrhea" by my primary doctor, but nothing else), severe acne all over, etc

problem now? i don't think i could ever be diagnosed with anything since ive been on t for years now, and my genitals and hormones have changed

i know some of these traits are considered intersex traits, but, i just feel so confused. according to the prader scale, i would be like a stage 1 if anything, but is that enough to qualify as intersex? i just don't feel intersex "enough" i guess? im so sorry if any of this is intersexist im still learning

any thoughts are greatly appreciated!

I've met few intersex people who think you need super specific diagnoses and experiences to be 'actually intersex' and the premise is very medicalizing in my opinion, which rubs me weird. Feels like the same group who think you need a DSD diagnosis and to call yourself a DSD female/male, yk?

Anyways, I would agree with you. These symptoms are really common and huge signifiers for a lot of people to find out they're intersex! I think you are justified in calling yourself intersex on the basis of these experiences, but ultimately only you know your own body and life. Have a good day anon!

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

Can I use puffinhoarder if I primarily hoard aplatonic-spectrum identities to indicate my unique relationship with platonic attraction? Because the definition only says acespec and arospec identities. Aplspec ones are nearly always forgotten. People think we’re crazy because we don’t want friendship, which is apparently “something that is a basic need”.

hey!! mod amaranth here

so as far as i can see, there doesn't seem to be one for the aplspec? which, yeah, feels like something we as a community do need to address. admittedly, all tertiary attractions need more attention, including the aplspec.

i don't know much about identity hoarding, however, the way i see it, you can probably use puffinhoarder and clarify your specific usage or coin a new term. if someone in the community knows more about this, please do chime in haha

hope this helps! <2

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

i cant tell if im actually aro or just have a fucked up view of romance, because im not opposed to dating people, but there are times where i want absolutely nothing to do with romance. and ive dated people before but i tend to loose interest within a few months which makes me feel really bad and aghhh idk 😭 i know im not aroflux but i think im somewhere on the aromatic spectrum i just dont know WHERE

hi!! mod amaranth here

so from what you've given in this ask, it seems like your view on romance is the thing that is changing. the terms romance ambivalent and romance oscillating may be helpful for you!! i'm not sure if there are any microlabels specific to your experience, unfortunately.

as for losing interest in people after dating them, frayromantic might be a helpful starting place. frayromantic is an orientation where you feel attraction to people you don't know all that well, and lose attraction as you get to know them.

hope this helps!! <2

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

Is it possible to be Orchidsexual and Cupiosexual at the same time? I relate to both the definitions, but they’re considered opposites of each other. I feel it in a ‘ depends on the person ‘ way, hopefully that makes sense. I typically don’t desire a sexual relationship due to my asexuality and hardly experiencing attraction, but sometimes I do. Is it okay for me to identify as both?

hi!! mod amaranth here

absolutely!! i maintain that labels are weird squiggles we gave meaning to and we can do whatever we want with them. if that's the way you want to identify, and the way you think best describes your experience, then do it!!

hope this helps! <3