I usually don’t like talking about this topic in public, but someone on Twitter asked me about it and now I feel the need to educate a little, Because there are a lot of misconceptions.
What is Race OCD?
Race OCD, also known as Ra-OCD (not to be confused with R-OCD, which is Relationship OCD), is a subset of Moral OCD that mainly revolves around fears and compulsions regarding racism and other kinds of ethnic discrimination.
It’s often characterised by unwanted racist thoughts (whether they’re directly aggressive or, very mild passive thoughts, depends between individuals), along with an extreme fear of being racist and being perceived as a racist.
This leads many people with Ra-OCD to completely isolate themselves from anyone outside their own ethnic group out of fear of perpetuating racist harm.
In my case, my Ra-OCD mostly manifests as an inability to not try to examine every interaction I have with a person through a lens of ethnicity, and then beat myself up if I feel like anything I do could even remotely be interpreted as racist in any way.
For example, if I’m having a bad day and I am very overstimulated, and choose to not talk to one of my friends, who is a very hyperactive girl who happens to be brown, while I will talk to one of my quieter white friends, I will then go on to catastrophise about how me ignoring her means I have some kind of racial bias against her and not, well, just wanting a bit of peace and quiet.
Is it racist? No, not at all, in retrospect, but my mind likes to tell me it is in the moment, and then it just makes me feel even worse.
Another example; if I draw a black character, and draw them gender-nonconforming when they’re not in canon, I will then go on to beat myself up over it as my OCD pushes me to view it as a malicious act of degendering and not me as a trans person wanting to draw my favourite characters like I am.
A lot of people with RaOCD have a tendency to pester their friends of colour asking whether they’re racist or not for reassurance. I used to do this as a tween, thankfully I have outgrown it and have found healthier ways to cope with my anxieties revolving the topic, but I do still have pitfalls once in a while.
Race OCD can develop in individuals with pre-existing Moral Obsessive-Compulsive tendencies, usually as a result of regretting a past action and then getting anxiety triggers out of a fear of repeating it.
And yes, Race OCD can absolutely develop in non-white folks. Like any other kind of OCD.
Of course, like any other kind of Moral OCD, having Race OCD does not mean you are actually racist, and in most cases in fact it’s the opposite. Thoughts and compulsions are entirely incidental, and as long as they are not carried out in a moment of lucidity, they don’t say anything about the morals of the person.
I hope this was informative. I think there’s a lot of stigma revolving the topic, so I hope this can help people become at least a little more acquainted to the topic.
