#radioactive dog

[crypt-void]

Might just say fuck it and wear my tails all summer. Might wear my ears out in public more. Might buy and make more gear and start doing 'type inspired makeup again. I already do this stuff but I just wanna do it more.

[fuzzyghost]

[crypt-void]

Phantom tail shift at work 😔

This shit ain't even waggin. It's just hanging there limp out the back of my chair. Ridiculous >:

[crypt-void]

Me when I've been stuck in pathetic dog mode all day but not puppy mode so I don't know how to address it to my people. Sorry I keep staring at you from across the room and slightly shaking. I remembered that one time someone stomped on my paw and now I don't know what to do.

I need my collar, someone to pat my head, and the sfw tag tattooed across my forehead so people don't get weird.

[crypt-void]

"Why are you like that?"

I read the survivor dogs series before I read warrior cats.

[crypt-void]

Sometimes, I think about how, for a lot of my life, I was someone else's dog. It wasn't always a bad thing. Sometimes, I was a protector, guarding someone from harm, or a comforter, letting someone sit next to me so they could feel more at ease.

Sometimes, though, it was horrible. Sometimes, I felt like I had a muzzle strapped over my snout or that my paws had been bound together. Sometimes, I was someone's pet that they could keep restrained with a leash. Other times, I was the rescue dog someone regretted taking in, and eventually abandoned.

Then, for a short while, I had no handler, and I had never before felt such complete freedom and isolation. I could do whatever I wanted: speak or remain silent, bite, growl, sleep, sing.

I couldn't function fully, though. I ran through hallways, trying to stay away from people, and bit if someone got too close to me. It feels like, after everything, I lost the part of myself that knew how to behave normally without someone there to show me how. I feel guilty about that sometimes, that I can't just do it anymore or that others hate me for it. I try not to be incompetent.

I have a pack now, something I lacked for a long time. Sometimes, they feel like good handlers, ones that understand I need occasional guidance. They know when to back off, too, to let me guide myself for a bit. Sometimes, they need me to guide them as well, which makes it better. A pack feels more equal, with all of us learning to rely on and care for one another.

[crypt-void]

Some renfaire pics from my birthday trip (I'm going for the world record for oldest dog ever)

Feat. My brother and my partner (I made the tortie mask hanging off her hip >:3)

[crypt-void]

Mask updateeeee!!! 🐕☢️

I touched up the paint a bit and gave myself some more fluff >:]