#rainingmxmnet

[moccahobi]

Cafe Amore [Jimin x Taehyung]

Summary: Taehyung and Jimin live two opposite lives only connected by their work at a coffee shop. Yet Jimin desperately wants more. Can they bond over coffee despite Taehyung disliking it?

Personal Prompt: How does Cafe Amore make such good coffee? Simple! They make regular sacrifices to coffee gods.

Paring: Jimin (BTS) x Taehyung (BTS)

Genre: Coffee Shop AU, Fluff

Warnings: Light mention of human sacrifices

Word Count: 2.5k words

A/N: This is part of @thebtswritersclub project "heating up"! I also got the prompt "coffee shop au" which I am a sucker for. And I had an old prompt I wrote that I could use! Also. Normally I use photos from BTS's facebook for my banners. Today, I used ones from the BTS World Wiki. I remembered Jimin having been a mochi maker and just knew the vibes would fit.

In a world of darkness and frustration, what is the one thing that can brighten it all?

For Jimin and his world of darkness ( the morning rush at Cafe Amore), the answer is the boxy and warm smile of Kim Taehyung (his coworker and the only person working the front with him). The morning rush had started sooner than he was scheduled though, and Jimin was flooded with coffees, drowning in an aroma he previously loved. It was a bad idea for the coffee aficionado to work here, cursed to explain over and over again what a piccolo and a (real) macchiato are.

An hour into the rush and Taehyung finally enters. Bless his heart but he knew nothing about coffee before working at the cafe. He didn't even drink it. Instead his mind was on the specialty drinks and fun flavors he could make. It was endearing and scary how much sugar Taehyung could consume when practicing his drinks. Cafe Amore has amazing beans that shouldn't be ignored, yet here Taehyung was, almost always ignoring it. It did mean that Taehyung took Mr. "Cat" when he came in asking for a "macchiato" which Jimin was forever grateful for. 

He was Jimin's best (work) friend, and Jimin always found himself thinking about how he might become real friends. The ocean between work friends and real friends felt insurmountable though. Nothing in sight and mapless.

Instead Jimin tried to find comfort in being work friends, to savor their laughter and treasure the smiles. Taehyung didn't seem like someone who'd be friends with Jimin anyways. A jazzy free spirit didn't seem to mesh well with an uptight perfectionist. Jimin spent all his freetime locked away in a dance studio while Taehyung explored the city and found niche places all around. They seemed to live in separate worlds bridged only by their work.

Jimin tapped Taehyung's calf as he rushed to get changed in the back. The rush was no where near done but now at least the rush would feel better. Taehyung was a magical salve full of small comments and smiles that fueled Jimin to keep going. 

"I went to a jazz bar this weekend. It was so fun! When we have a chance, I'll show you pictures." Taehyung said as he signed into the next register, his warm hand patting Jimin's shoulder.

Jimin nodded, swallowing the silly feelings of jealousy over being able to see these events but not be let in. He chose being a busybody, but sometimes he wished for more. Taehyung made him want more. 

"I had to work all weekend," Jimin forced a laugh, "Jazz sounds so much nicer."

With that, the two slid into a silent dance, rushing around to feed and fuel the 100+ coffee (and non-coffee) lovers who filled the rush. Not infrequently, they'd brush against each other, the barista bar space a glorified gap between the counters. Jimin felt himself relaxing when they bumped into each other, Taehyung's warmth a kind break from the fire of customers and the boil of the barista machine.

Two hours later, Taehyung was able to finally make himself a smoothie and the two could take a breather.

"One of the songs made me think of you." He started, the blender screaming over him, "I mean, I don't know how to dance well, but it seemed like one that would have great potential for dancing."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Do you dance to jazz much?"

Jimin shrugged, "Not really. I'd be down to try though."

Try for you. His traitorous mind supplied, And then maybe you can come watch me perform.

"What do you dance to then?" Taehyung asked as he filled his cup and grabbed a straw.

"Contemporary and ballet. But I've not had much time lately," Jimin sighed and looked down, "My dance studio cut the classes I'm teaching so I've been picking up more shifts here."

Taehyung nodded, "Lot's more?"

"I mean... My pay here is much worse than my pay at the studio so yeah. I get to see the place at much quieter hours now though."

"That sounds creepy! I didn't think this place ever wasn't busy."

Jimin laughed, "There's a time between 3am and 5am that is near dead!"

Taehyung shook his head, "Sounds like a brutal time to be working. They should just close the shop then."

Jimin shrugged and took a sip of his latte.

"Were you working Saturday night?"

He nodded.

"That's when I went to this jazz bar. Want to see some of it now?"

Before long another rush came.Jimin was swept up in the hectic rush of the day,  one song in the backtrack of his mind. It hung over him and he found himself stealing away to his mind to choreograph it. It totally wasn't because of the cute video of Taehyung dancing to it surrounded by old couples. The song was just good.

It would be three more days before Taehyung and Jimin were scheduled together again. Their days off just slightly overlapped and left an awkward day when one was working and the other wasn’t. *It also meant that there was a day both had off.* Jimin was asked to take his break early that day, finally getting a moment off his feet to sit and breathe. Given… early meant 4 hours in rather than 5. One of the few things he hated about the cafe was never being able to breathe while working. There was almost always work to do and if there wasn’t, a manager could find more. Sure he and Taehyung spent their fair share of time talking, but if there wasn’t the threat of more work to do soon they were working on something as they talked.

Jimin took a deep breath and looked out of the shop, imagining what he'd be doing now if bills weren't such a threat. Maybe he'd be dancing. Maybe he'd be spending more time with his cat. Maybe he'd be with friends. It was times like this that made Jimin frustrated that he had to work to live. The world was cruel and unfair and his jobs weren’t lucrative. Even with a roommate, money could get tight. The stress of living sometimes weighed on Jimin more than it seemed it weighed on others. If only he didn’t need to work. If only he could leave and not work ever again.

Jimin sighed, not liking the upset he felt at the thought of working, wanting to focus on the fun he had with Taehyung at work. He spent so many hours of his life here, stuck in the cafe with a smile. Would he be happier if he didn't work here? if he was doing other things?

"Try my new drink!" Taehyung bounded over, a neon blue beverage in his hands like a neon blue light breaking Jimin’s dark thoughts.

Jimin laughed and felt some tension leave him. He refused to think about how many spoonfuls of sugar were in the drink but at least it looked unique. 

"It's a blueberry pie milkshake. One of my neighbors back home gave me a ton of blueberries that I'd been keeping in the freezer for a good time. Inspiration struck me so here it is!"

Jimin nodded, taking a slow sip the sugary sweetness coating his tongue and only barely cut through by a small hint of acid, "Mhhh. I imagine the customers who like dessert drinks will love this."

"What about you?" Taehyung asked, a hopeful glint in his eyes.

"Yeah. I think I would prefer it to be a bit tarter, but it's good." Jimin said, trying to think of how much more of him he could stomach of the sugary drink. His latte will help cut through the sugar so maybe a few more sips.

Taehyung nodded before going back behind the counter to continue working. Tiny cups lined upon the counter made Jimin worried. Was he going to offer free samples to customers? Jimin cut his break a bit shorter to toss the half-drunk milkshake out when Taehyung was in the back after watching Taehyung offer a tiny bit to anyone who passed the counter.

The rest of their day flowed uneventfully aside from one customer who spat out Taehyung’s milkshake and called it the “worst thing ever imagined”. Taehyung thankfully just laughed it off but it did mean more cleaning and Jimin took to doing it when Mr. Cat came in and his eyes zeroed in on the final batch of samples Taehyung had. That’d make the whole “worst thing ever imagined” ordeal disappear. 

Jimin was first to sign off and he found himself struck by the urge to stay later if only to get off at the same time as Taehyung. Theoretically he could stay and talk with Taehyung, but he had hours of housework to do and he didn’t want to be at this cafe longer than needed. Curse modern media for making it seem like grabbing a drink after work was a common thing.

With staggered shifts at the cafe, it meant that often only one person left at a time. Yet often it felt like the only thing he could try to branch the ocean of distance between work and life. How else would one become friends with coworkers? Sure Jimin had Taehyung’s number from the work chat… but was that really something he could use? No. Jimin sighed when he got into his car, taking a few moments to breathe before driving away.

Taehyung was at work before Jimin the next day, his eyes wide as he sipped a black drink.

"What ya' got there?" Jimin asked as he clocked in.

"Americano."

"Sugary?"

"No. It's black."

"Thought you didn't like black coffee," Jimin said with a laugh as he walked back to grab his apron.

"I didn't think I did. But Mr. Cat had some after getting a whiff of someone’s latte. Don’t ask me how or why he smelled someone’s latte. Made me decide to try one."

Jimin nodded but didn't know what to say. All their coffee smelled good to him and as he brewed himself a cappuccino, it didn’t smell different. Nor did it taste different when he took a sip. Well the milk did, but that was because they got a different brand. He watched as Taehyung reached for a second cup of americano and eventually a third.

"You might want to slow down on your coffee." Jimin finally said, reaching out to take the cup from Taehyung.

"Why? I'm enjoying the coffee."

Jimin nodded and laughed, "Yeah. But this has a lot of caffeine, especially if you've not had much caffeine before. Maybe switch to a decaf one? Or water? Maybe some food."

Taehyung sighed, "Wow. Ok, dad. This has water in it," But he did grab something to eat from his bag and started sipping on his water.

"The coffee here is really good though. You might really like it in a latte or cappuccino. The milk mellows out the bitterness."

Taehyung nodded, his cheeks filling with his breakfast bar, "How do they make it so good? This batch smelled better than others so maybe they changed a supplier?"

Jimin shrugged, "Not that I know of."

The conversation died down as a rush came, the usual caffeine junkies and work-in-cafe people coming and going throughout the two hours. Jimin was glad that Taehyung didn’t have a chance to make another drink for himself. The dude was definitely shaking from how much he already drank. 

"Omg! what if they started sacrificing people to make their coffee better?" Taehyung said, jumping from the chair he was lounging on during his break, his eyes wide. Jimin was thankful that Taehyung wasn’t holding his latte as he started swinging his arms around. 

Jimin laughed and shook his head.

"I've read stories of people investigating similar stuff, "Taehyung continued, coming up to the counter to whisper conspiratorially, "I once heard of someone... I think his name was Namjoon and he went searching into a coffee shop because their stuff suddenly got good but people were going missing. Do we know of anyone who went missing recently?

Raising an eyebrow, Jimin tried to think of where this story might have come from "I don't think so. Besides, I've been working 50 hours lately, when would they have had time to kidnap people? How would it even make the coffee better?"

Taehyung threw his hands up, his eyes widening with dramatics, "There are gods you can sacrifice people to, duh."

Did this come from a book Taehyung read? 

Jimin nodded, sipping his tea, "Sure. So this Namjoon dude went and investigated?"

Taehyung nodded, "Yeah. Apparently in the attic, there was a whole ass cult!" Taehyung shivered, "Imagine if that was happening here!"

"We have an office above us and no basement."

"You never know! What if they just told us that? Anyways Namjoon went missing apparently."

Jimin nodded, his mind finally landing on a book that fit what Taehyung was talking about. *Dungeons and Dry Cappuccinos.*, "Maybe Namjoon ended up being sacrificed. Maybe the missing people were a lure for people with no life who spent too much time online."

That last part wasn’t part of the story but it always seemed true to Jimin. 

Taehyung hummed, deep in thought, "I saw pictures of him somewhere. He's hot. I think he actually wooed this god named Seokjin. They, like, lived happily ever after. What if he and this god married and have coffee orchards?"

Jimin laughed, thinking back on the promotional material for the book, "I don't think coffee orchards exist."

"You know what I mean."

Jimin nodded, "If that's the case and no one has gone missing around us,how do we keep the coffee here so good? Clearly it’s good for the bank."

“Well our dessert drinks are more expensive so I don’t know about that. But…” Taehyung got quiet, his eyes focusing on nothing as he thought, "If Seokjin has blessed us then I think there has to be more love here. Not enough romance happens. That has to change."

Taehyung looked serious, his eyes burning with passion. Jimin felt alive with the intimidation and curiosity. What was Taehyung playing at?

Jimin laughed and shook his head, "How?"

"Go on a date with me."

His breath caught in his throat, unable to believe that Taehyung was asking this. Searching Taehyung’s face, Jimin saw no mirth anymore. Was he serious? 

"What?"

The sureness left Taehyung’s face and he looked down, scraping at some dried coffee grounds, "To appease the coffee gods, of course."

Was Taehyung just as unsure about getting closer? Jimin smiled, trying to calm the excitement in his stomach.

"Of course. It’s vital we appease Seokjin. When?"

[limjaeseven]

Antidote

Pairing: Jaebeom X Mark / Jaebeom X Youngjae

Genre: Angst, Romance

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 1,362

Summary: Things haven't been looking up for Jaebeom for for god knows how long. Mark was the one person who was supposed to make things better, but there was a limit even to that.

Warning(s): Mental breakdowns, self neglect

[a/n]: So I haven't posted anything in ages even though I have nearly 20 fics piled up from the past two years. I'm finally taking the initiative to post them (fingers crossed). This fic was originally written for the kpop bingo collab which closed a while back but here it is anyways. I hope you enjoy!

Jaebeom didn’t know when it went from just a bad day every now and then to struggling to get out of bed every morning. Things were going fine, and the next thing he knew, they weren’t.

Coming home to his boyfriend Mark used to be his favourite part of the day, but their small quarrels had become fights that left them not sharing a word for days. Jaebeom didn’t have the energy to keep the distance but Mark drew his lines thick and deep, and Jaebeom couldn’t cross them till his boyfriend let him.

Work went from good to alright to a struggle gradually enough that Jaebeom didn’t even realise he was spending one, two, three more hours at work every night. Every day there would be too many files to go through, too many calls to make, too many meetings to attend, too much to do. The stress was making his hair fall out but he just kept going, hoping that just after this project, the next project, the project after that, things would get better.

His steps went from confident and fast paced to dragging, every movement a struggle against his body telling him to stop, to catch a break, to just give everything up.

“So you’re taking the day off for our anniversary, no?” Mark asked from across the dinner table. They had just gotten out of their last fight which consisted of doors slammed in each other’s faces, leaving late at night and coming back early in the morning without informing the other, and a week of eating meals seperately.

“I told you, I really can’t. This client is too important.” Jaebeom knew that the respite from the fight was short, that they would go back to doing what they were doing by midnight.

Mark sighed, frustrated. “I never ask you for anything, Jaebeom. I just want us to spend one day together. It’s our fifth anniversary, doesn’t that mean something to you?”

Nearly on the verge of tears, Jaebeom tried to hold himself together as he spoke. “I know hyung,” Jaebeom knew him using honorifics on the older would relay to him how serious he was, “But there’s nothing I can do. Even if I asked for a holiday my boss would reject it. I can’t lose this job, it’s everything I have. You know how much I love you but I just can’t do this for you. We can plan something for the weekend after, maybe?”

Mark looked conflicted, understanding his boyfriend on an intellectual level but the primal part of him hurt and torn apart, that his lover couldn’t spare him one day when it mattered the most.

“We both know that you’ll be busy on the weekend too, you don’t have time for me anymore. Not talking to you when you’re home is futile because you never even are. I know your job is hectic and meaningful to you, Jaebeom, but I need to see you, spend time with you, talk to you to be able to be with you. If I’m just seeing you twice a week in our home and we’re fighting for most of it, there’s no point in us going on like this.”

Jaebeom knew what those words meant but he couldn’t accept it. There was no way Mark was implying that, was there? He wouldn’t ever think of such a thing, would he? Mark had been his better half for as long as he could remember. They were practically married, they were ride or die, right?

The world came closing around Jaebeom and he couldn’t hold onto anything by the time he realised. His body shook and his throat closed. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t see, he couldn’t hear. He was trapped and he didn’t know what to do.

He didn’t know how long he sat on the floor of their kitchen, curled in foetal position, with Mark trying to get his breathing to even out. Jaebeom hadn’t had a panic attack in years and it scared both of them.

“Don’t go, don’t go, don’t go,” Jaebeom mumbled over and over again, hands clutching tightly at Mark’s sides. He could see the tears streaming down his lover’s face, and he knew what the expression on his face meant. He knew it was the end and he didn’t know what to do but cry.

Mark left a week later. Jaebeom had just returned from work and he saw the suitcases sitting in the living room. He knew this day was coming for a while, but he still hadn’t entirely processed it. They had spent every evening after that night together, a respectable distance between them as Mark spoke about the end. He wasn’t one to sugar coat, he wouldn’t talk about his day at work and pretend like they weren’t ending the relationship they built brick by brick.

He had stayed a few days longer just to make sure Jaebeom was okay, because even though they weren’t right for each other anymore, Mark still loved him. Still, saying goodbye wasn’t any easier. They hugged each other for what felt like hours, crying quietly into each other’s arms, till Mark had to pull away, his best friend at the door to help him out.

Jaebeom crumbled to the floor the moment the door closed. He slept there that night, waking up well into the afternoon. Emailing his boss an apology, who let him take the rest of the day off, he got to tidying up his house, trying not to cry every time he saw the empty spots where Mark’s things sat.

He knew he should have tried harder, but it was as if his body was working on autopilot and he was just going along on the ride. He knew Mark had every right to leave, that it had been building up for a long time, but it didn’t hurt any less. Jaebeom cried more times that day than he probably had in all of his life.

It was less that two weeks later that he collapsed at work and had to be taken to the hospital. Jaebeom hadn’t been eating, he barely had anything more than coffee to keep himself up and running. His body had finally given in and it took him nearly two days to get back to consciousness. The nurse who looked after him was a woman about his mother’s age, who chided him for being so careless, and convinced him to try therapy out.

Reluctantly, Jaebeom made a visit to the psychiatrist in the hospital where he was admitted, and he had to admit, just talking about what he was going through to someone helped. After he was discharged, he came back once a week, poured his heart out and listened carefully. They put him on some medication and slowly the dark clouds thinned out, sunlight peaking through the cracks.

After one of the sessions, Jaebeom found a man a few years younger than him sitting in the waiting room outside his psychiatrist’s office. He was undeniable pretty, Jaebeom thought, shooting him a quick smile before leaving.

As the weeks passed, he saw the boy over and over again, and they went from friendly waves to small talk between their sessions. Jaebeom found out that the man’s name was Choi Youngjae, that he was only two years younger than him and worked as a piano teacher.

“Hyung, do you want to meet up sometime?” Youngjae asked Jaebeom when the older let him know that his psychiatrist told him he had recovered enough for them to stop the sessions.

Smiling, Jaebeom pulled his phone out and handed it to Youngjae, “I would love to.” He didn’t know if it was too soon, but the way the younger man’s smile lit up his world every time they spoke, he was willing to give it a shot.

[naturalogre]

Hyung, I Have A Secret

Fandom: EXO

Pairing: Sehun x Suho

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Slowburn

Warnings: Internalized Homophobia

Word count: 30683

Chapters: 11

Status: Complete

Sehun had gotten used to this negative companion inhabiting his thoughts. He figured it had always been there. It was what had told him he was weird for not showing interest in women, what had told him to not think further of it when another male student had made his heart beat so furiously he thought it might cause a heart attack because no, you’re not that broken, not that wrong. But Sehun was.

✨ Link ✨

[moccahobi]

Hello, Goodbye

Summary: “Hello.” That was the start of the most profound relationship Jungkook has ever had. Now graduating, he finds himself reminiscing on his love: Yoongi.

Pairings: Jungkook (BTS) x Yoongi (BTS)

Rating: SFW

Warnings: Shadow loss, grief

Genre: angst

Word count: 1k

A/N: This is part of @kpopwritingbingo. The prompt is Onewe’s Eraser! It’s a beautiful song. Also big thanks to @sugarwithtea​ for betaing this for me!

"Hello. What are you doing here?" Jungkook's head shot up, his eyes struggling to see through his tears. The world around him was vignetting white as he cried in the hideout he found. He thought that no one else went to this place and that he’d finally get some alone time to soothe his breaking heart.

 “I needed some alone time.”

 The dude didn't get the message Jungkook was trying to telepathically communicate and sat down, "This is a good spot for that."

 Jungkook hummed. In the two months he's been at college, it's been his only reprieve. Communal bathrooms, shared bedrooms, & large windows left Jungkook no privacy. His descent into isolation and depression had been on display for everyone to see.

 "I needed alone time too."

 "Ah. Want to be alone together?" Jungkook asked after a beat of silence, not having energy to tell this man to leave.

 "Sure."

The two sat in silence for an hour, the world passing them by all the while. If they cried, no comments were made. The other man introduced himself as Min Yoongi the second meet up, and by the fifth, Jungkook knew Yoongi was a 2nd year psychology student with a shitty roomate & now only one friend. Jungkook had lost all he thought were friends.They’d found each other when both had barely anything and together, they’d build everything. 

By the time he graduates, Jungkook will understand that the people he tried to befriend hadn't meant to hurt him. They hadn’t meant to leave him begging for their help. Like Jungkook, they were just trying to make friends & hadn't quite clicked. They were fresh adults, trying to make sense of the world, and Jungkook just hadn’t fit into the salve of comfort they needed in that confusing time.

 Besides, losing them gained him Yoongi. Losing them gave Jungkook the one person he loves more than anything. By Jungkook's 2nd year the two started dating. The first date was a shy one where they ate lamb skewers in a park, sharing gentle touches & soft gazes. Yoong even gave Jungkook his last lamb skewer, claiming that he was full. Later he admitted that that was a lie.

 Jungkook, the sentimental man he is, saved a clean napkin from that date. It's now framed in a collage, hanging beside his desk, soon to be packed away.  The collage also has an instruction paper from a shoe rack they got and made for their on-campus apartment. Yoongi, mister skilled, made it all on his own with Jungkook supplying moral support through kisses. Six dates into their relationship and they had to plan for housing and although Jungkook was scared of having a roommate, Yoongi had amounted enough academic credits to get them high in the apartment draw. Without Yoongi, Jungkook would’ve been one of the last in the general housing draw, stuck getting a random roomate.

Yoongi didn’t go back to his hometown that summer and Jungkook lived close enough that the two had more dates together. Picnics in the city that rested between college and home. Yoongi would “happen” to have some of Jungkook’s favorite food with him during those picnics or “happen” to have been given tickets to an event that was happening. Jungkook treasured every moment from that summer. Slowly, Jungkook found his thoughts of home shifting. No longer was it where he grew up or his neighborhood. It became a person.

 That was Jungkook's 3rd year. Yoongi was swamped & spent most of his free time applying to grad schools, attending interviews, and crying when they turned him down. Jungkook saw how academia tore Yoongi apart, critiqued everything he did and believed in, and yet academia seemed to be Yoongi’s home. He desperately wanted to get into a PhD program. It was a busy time for Jungkook as well. Pressure to declare his major mounted and he found himself stuck in classes that assigned too much reading and expected too much from him. 

Despite their stress and busy lifestyles they still found moments together. Attempting new recipes, working together, and snuggling in the moments between snoozed alarms became their norm. Their romance flourished in the small cracks, like a dandelion on a sidewalk. Jungkook even managed to create a small cookbook filled with their recipes, their thoughts, and even photos of them cooking together. He had a copy and gifted one to Yoongi

 It was his graduation gift.

 The two walked to their special spot, where they'd first met, and cried together. Once again the world passed them by as they sat there. Yoongi had his program. Yoongi was leaving. Sitting here now, at Jungkook's graduation, feels all wrong. Youngi isn't here. He's across the country working his ass off in a clinical program. When is the last time that they’d talked? Yoongi is still the last contact he called but that’s because Jungkook only ever called him. 

Yoongi isn’t here physically. 

Yet Jungkook feels him all around.

Jungkook takes a deep breath of the air around him, flower petals and pollen drifting in the wind. Yoongi isn’t here physically. 

And Jungkook needs to find a new home now.

 If only Jungkook knew back then then how this would all end. All the caring moments, tainated by the present. Would Jungkook be able to handle it all? Would he be able to handle their first words if he knew what their last would be?

"Goodbye."

[moccahobi]

Let You Fly [Namjoon x Jimin]

Summery: Namjoon and Jimin have been together for only 7 months and it’s been near perfect. The two fit together wonderfully. All changes when Namjoon’s dream job offer slides itself into his inbox. He’d been eyeing the position in Japan for years… It wouldn’t be fair to Jimin to pack up his bags and join Namjoon, but it wouldn’t be fair to Namjoon to try to force him to stay. Instead, Jimin must let him fly.

Pairings: Namjoon (BTS) x Jimin (BTS)

Rating: E for everyone

Warnings: None

Word Count:  3.5k words

Genre: Angst, A touch of fluff

A/N: A big thank you to @bluewhale52 for betaing! Your feedback was soooo helpful!!!!!!!

A/N2: This fic is part of @bangtanwritingbingo​’s summer bingo! The prompt for this is “Jimin x Namjoon”!

Song inspiration: Let You Fly by Sunshine State

The sweet fragrance of the flower shop filled Jimin's nostrils as he worked away on a bouquet order. Jimin hummed along to the soft music that played in the background, his mind zeroed in on putting the flowers together in just the right way. Behind him, Namjoon sat at a small table, typing away on his computer. He was supposed to be on a small break, but like the work loving man he was, he was actually clearing out his inbox. Every once in a while, he'd sigh deeply and run his hands through his hair tiredly when he found an email that he actually had to respond to with thought. 

Jimin looked over at him, his heart melting as he watched Namjoon type away, hunched over the computer tiredly. This wasn't a traditional date but it was the perfect sort of date for them. Jimin had a few last minute orders to make and deliver and Namjoon always had work he could do so it worked out perfectly. Namjoon came right from work (well he had stopped by a cafe and gotten a few snacks and some coffee for them), set up the fold up table, put on some music, and got right away to work… after a kiss or ten. 

Just an hour more of work and then they'd be on the road. Jimin took a deep breath and continued working on his bouquet. Evenings like these were highlights of his week. Small moments like these meant the world to him. He quickly put the finishing touches on this bouquet and started to move around a tad. Quietly, he cleaned up his station before grabbing a glass of water.

"Don't forget to drink some water, sunshine." Jimin said as he set down the water next to Namjoon's computer and softly rubbing his back. 

"Thank you," Namjoon sighed and leaned back in his chair, looking at Jimin with a tired smile on his face, his dimples barely peeking out as he smiled, "How are the bouquets going?"

"I am nearing the end! I think we'll be able to deliver them in an hour or so."

"What a perfect stopping point for me!"

"Oh? Nearing the end of your emails?"

Namjoon snorted, "No but I'll give up then."

"After a valiant effort, I'm sure." Jimin said with a laugh, winking quickly as he joked. 

"Absolutely. Is my music ok? I would've done our collaborative playlist but I really needed calmer music today." 

"It's wonderful. I've been really enjoying it!"

"I'm glad."

Jimin nodded, leaning down and pecking Namjoon before going back to his work table, a warm buzz filling him as he continued to work. Being with Namjoon constantly left Jimin feeling a soft buzz throughout his body, it seeped into him like how warm drinks heat you up from the hands and stomach. Sometimes it was like a mulled wine that made him feel hot and heady, other times it was like coffee that made him energized and ready for the day ahead, and on nights like tonight, it was like a calming jasmine tea that relaxed and calmed him. In the time that they'd been together, Namjoon had never ceased to amaze Jimin.  

After finishing his final bouquet and cleaning his work space, Jimin leaned on the table and looked over at Namjoon. Flowers surrounded Namjoon like a halo of sunlight, hugging tightly to him. He seemed at home with the many floral arrangements as they egged on his challenging work. It made Jimin's heart flutter. They may have only started dating a few months ago, but Namjoon seemed to fit into Jimin's life so perfectly. He should make a bouquet for Seokjin who set them up and maybe a thank you letter to the head of his department who hasn't fielded Namjoon any job offers from out of SNU's Seoul campus.

had to kiss a lot of frogs before you came along

... Would it be too soon to say he loved Namjoon? 

Excitement buzzed through Jimin from where he sat nestled into Namjoon's side, looking out from his spot in the booth to watch his friends talk. Jimin was sipping on a beer laughing as Jungkook started a long story. His eyes were wide and he threw his arms around wildly as he spoke about how serious Hoseok was with shopping. 

"It was honestly scary!" Jungkook concluded. 

Hoseok laughed and shook his head, "Clothes are a serious topic."

"I would disagree."

"Well Jungkook-ah, you only dress in black so I don't know if you have much ground in this conversation." Jimin said with a laugh. 

"Woah! Where did that voice come from?" Jungkook asked, raising his head to intentionally look over Jimin with a mischievous grin.

Namjoon laughed, earning a small slap and eye roll from Jimin, "You're supposed to be on my side, hyung!"

"I'm always on your side, my little Kuroshimae."

Jimin giggled, hiding his face in Namjoon's side as their friends groaned. 

"I don't even know what that is, Namjoon-ah." Seokjin said with a sigh.

"Sea sheep!"

"I regret introducing you two."

Yoongi gently pushed against Seokjin, "That's a lie and we both know it."

Namjoon's phone lit up an urgent message notification showing, "Is it ok if I quickly check this message?"

"Sure! I'll get rounds for everyone while you do!" Hoseok said, jumping out of the booth.

"Let me join you!" Taehyung said, quickly scurrying behind Hoseok toward the bar. 

Whining as Namjoon grabbed his phone from the table, Jimin looked around the restaurant to give Namjoon space to read the email. 

A sharp intake from Namjoon made Jimin look back, "I got a job offer to work for the Oceanography Society of Japan."

It felt like a cold bucket of water washed over Jimin as he looked at Namjoon process the information. Did Namjoon even realize that he said that out loud? 

Jimin was frozen as he watched Namjoon finish reading the email. The rest of the restaurant faded away and all he could see was Namjoon and all he could think about was Namjoon got the job he'd been wanting. 

Namjoon would leave Jimin, fly to another country, and live there. He'd talked about the possible position when they'd started dating, Jimin knew it was an option, but after two months, they'd both figured that it wasn't going to happen. 

Six months later and they decide to accept him? 

"Are you ok, Jimin-ah?" Namjoon asked, his eyes wide as he gently touched Jimin's shoulder. 

Their friends were looking at them. They couldn't talk about this now, maybe tonight or tomorrow they will but not now. 

Taking a deep breath in, Jimin smiled, "I am. Congrats on the job offer, sunflower. I'm so proud of you."

Those words stung Jimin like thorns on roses and once again he was faced with the fact that Namjoon would be leaving him. 

pack your bags leave it all for a country far away the job that you'd been dreaming of was calling

Namjoon had tears in his eyes when he spoke, "Thank you. Let's talk about it later?"

Somehow the night progressed painfully slow. Neither Jimin or Namjoon spoke much and soon enough the two were saying good night in the parking lot. Their kisses were slow and sad, tears mixing together. 

"Let's talk about my job offer later this week? It's pretty late." 

"That sounds like a plan." Jimin said quietly, hugging Namjoon tightly. He took a deep breath and gathered up his courage, "And Namjoon hyung?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Jimin."

It wasn't the end, but it felt like they were nearing a goodbye. 

He was trying to ignore the upcoming conversation with Namjoon by taking extra care of his plants. It was time for most of them to be watered anyways so extra care and a little propitiating was a good thing to throw himself into. 

If tears weren't so salty then maybe he would've used his tears to water them instead of tap water. 

Taking care to measure out the amount of fertilizer to add to the water, he tried not to focus on Namjoon.

Namjoon. 

had to kiss a lot of frogs 'till you finally came along but now we don't have a lot of time to work with

He was such a wonderful boyfriend. In many ways, it felt like Namjoon had slotted into Jimin's perfectly. Jimin treasured their relationship so much and now? 

Would they be able to make it?

Fuck… he'd poured too much fertilizer into the water. 

As Jimin added more water to the pot, he felt his throat close up as more tears threatened to spill at the same speed as the tap water rushed out of the faucet. 

Plants. 

Jimin was trying to focus on plants. Taking a shaky breath, he lifted the pot and started to slowly walk around and check the plants. It was becoming easier until he came to Rex, his Begonia Rex, who was sitting proudly in a beautiful ceramic pot that looked like a stack of books. Rex was thriving, new growth sprouting all over and leaves a beautiful deep red. 

Namjoon had gifted Jimin Rex. 

Namjoon often helped Jimin take care of his plants. 

How many plant dates would the two have? 

The last one they had was a month ago when Jimin finally decided to repot some of his plants. It was full of laughs and gentle touches. 

It was when Namjoon gave him Rex. 

Was that going to be their last plant date? 

Why did Jimin have to get so attached to Namjoon? 

They both knew this was a possibility… but… damn it. Jimin caught feelings. He was in deep. 

it hadn't been very long at least according to my closest friends. "Watch your heart. Take it slow. Have some fun." Is all they say but I'm still spending all the time I can with you

Jimin sighed, looking at Rex. 

Would this be all he'll have of Namjoon soon? 

Could he handle a long distance relationship? Could Namjoon? 

A choked sob left Jimin and was absorbed in his plant filled living room. It was all so so much. 

This was so so much. 

The picnic blanket was full of some of Jimin’s favorite food: kimbap, mandoo, and gaeran mari. All made with care by Namjoon who, through their couples classes, had been getting so much better with cooking. Jimin didn’t know if he could stomach any of them. Just looking at the beautiful display, made Jimin’s heart hurt with how much care Namjoon had clearly put into the piece. It seemed Namjoon was feeling similar. He'd eaten one Kimbap piece slowly but hadn't touched anything since, the display still looking pretty and organized despite them having laid out the food almost twenty minutes ago. 

They were looking out at the other people in the park. It was a bright and sunny day, and it seemed that many people had flocked to the park for some sun and warmth. Someone was playing frisbee with their dog, the two excitedly running around. At one point, the two were rolling around in the grass, the person’s laugh loud and happy. A gaggle of children were playing tag, giggling and shouting plans to each other.  People were biking around. 

Just last month they’d planned to do a bike trip together… 

Today would have been a perfect day for that. 

Everything seemed to be happy around Jimin and Namjoon and it made Jimin feel worse, like they were a stain of sorrow on a bright and happy place. They were like a metaphorical blackcloud in the park.

wish the sun could make you stay

Namjoon sighed, "I think I'm going to take the job offer, Jimin-ah."

Jimin's mouth felt dry at Namjoon's statement. It was exactly what Jimin was expecting but it still felt like an icy cold hand was gripping his heart, wringing it of all its warmth. His eyes stung with budding tears as he looked around, willing himself not to cry as he watched the dog run after the frisbee, running excitedly. 

"I want you to. At least, if I was the only reason for you to stay here… I wouldn’t want that. If you had… if you had other reasons to stay then that's a different story." Words caught in Jimin's throat like thick mucus and his slow mind wasn't helping with trying to speak. He reached out and grabbed Namjoon's hand, rubbing it gently and trying to memorize it (who knew how many times he’d see Namjoon’s hands again). 

He didn't have the energy or heart to look at Namjoon's face, though.

"I want… Do you want to try long distance? I… I care for you so much, I don't want this to be the end of our relationship. Of us." Namjoon’s voice cracked as he spoke.

"I want to." Jimin felt tears pooling in his eyes as he started to speak, "I'm worried about us though. I don't want this to be a goodbye."

Namjoon gently squeezed Jimin's hand, "I don't either… It does feel like a goodbye though," He sighed, "I also don’t want us to have a bitter goodbye down the line… I want to make us work."

it's so hard to say goodbye and when I do, I want to cry

Jimin looked up, his eyes momentarily focusing on the bright sun and lazily moving clouds behind Namjoon before they focused on him. Namjoon's eyes were red, his cheeks glistening with tears. Shakily, Jimin let go of Namjoon's hand and cupped his face, wiping away some of the tears with his hand. 

Jimin cooed and pecked each Namjoon's salty cheeks, "We'll make this work, hyung. I promise." He captured Namjoon's lips in a gentle kiss. 

It warmed Jimin gently, his body alight in a calm hug of heat. Namjoon pulled Jimin closer, humming quietly into the kiss. 

"I love you, my Kuroshimae." Namjoon said when they pulled apart, their faces still a short distance apart. Jimin giggled and scrunched up his nose as Namjoon's breath, laced with egg and spam, fanned across his face. 

"I love you too, but your breath is stinky."

Namjoon leaned back at that, laughing loudly, "I'm sorry. Now, how do we want to make this work? I'd feel better if we had a bit of a plan before I left."

Jimin hummed, nuzzling into Namjoon as he started to speak, "When will you be leaving."

"They want me there to start asap, so in two or so weeks." Namjoon said, his voice cracking as he spoke. 

Jimin nodded and sighed, looking out at the park and all the happy park goers as more tears budded in his eyes. This would be a long and hard conversation. 

His favorite show, W, was playing in the background as Jimin meticulously punched holes in the envelopes, a nice stack of twenty already growing on his desk. All around him was mess from a three day frenzied project to make a gift for Namjoon's apartment in Japan. Well it wasn't really a gift for his apartment as much as it was a gift for Namjoon. 

A large floral binder that'll hold 210 envelopes with letters and affirmations. He'd seen gifts like these for parents and friends and had taken to doing it for Namjoon as. Hopefully it'll help comfort Namjoon when he is missing Jimin. 

Jimin was rushing to finish putting the gift together. He'd spent so much time on the actual letters that organizing them and putting them nearly into all the envelopes had fallen to the wayside, and now he only had two days to slip it into one of Namjoon's suitcases before the flight. Hopefully he'll be able to put it in an already packed one so that Namjoon won't notice that there was a giant lump in his suitcase that he hadn't packed.

Namjoon was leaving painfully soon and it hurt. They'd been spending much time together as if that'd make up for the months they'll be apart for. In Jimin's heart, he knew that no matter how much time they spent together, the distance wouldn't be easy. A shiver ran down his spine at the thought. Namjoon was a source of warmth and comfort in every way. His hugs were like a second home, his dimpled smile a candy that he constantly craved, his voice a soothing song that calmed all of Jimin's nerves. 

Would Jimin break because of the distance? 

Would they survive? 

Jimin felt cold at the idea of them not lasting the distance. He wanted them to last. 

He sighed, looking at the envelopes he still had to hole punch and put letters in. The stack was big… if only Namjoon didn't take the job. 

If only Jimin begged for him to stay… maybe they wouldn't be in this situation. Maybe they'd be cuddling up together, thinking about renting an apartment together once their current leases were up. 

But Jimin couldn't do that. He wouldn't. This was a dream job for Namjoon and trying to keep him here would only breed resentment between them. 

it's so hard to say goodbye and when I do I want to cry but I've got to let you fly

The car was quiet, neither Namjoon or Jimin having energy to make conversation or the will to put on music. It was a stark contrast to the goodbye party their friends hosted just before this and despite the silence being somewhat painful, Jimin was thankful. The excitement and noise from the party was a lot and he needed a reprieve before saying bye to Namjoon. 

If Namjoon had found the binder of letters Jimin made, he didn't make any comment. Similarly, Jimin found a large wrapped gift hidden under his bed that Namjoon had most definitely snuck in and he chose not to comment. 

He'd open it when he got home from their airport. It would be a kind comfort, a ghost of a hug that Jimin already knew he'd want. 

"Oh-- My Kuroshimae, I think you missed the turn," Namjoon looked at the map on his phone, "Yep."

"I-- We're having an adventure. One more adventure for the time being."

Namjoon laughed and nodded, "Alright then, the directions are saying that the next turn will be two blocks away then."

"If you didn't have to be three hours early, I'd suggest we take a few more wrong terms." Jimin said with a giggle. 

Namjoon shook his head with a smile, "I'd totally egg you on. Next time though!"

Butterflies erupted in Jimin's stomach at the thought. They've had many a long drive because one of them took the wrong term and they chose to go with it, turning up their road trip playlist and singing excitedly as they drove along. 

Oh, how much fit into the six months they've been together. 

we walk and we laugh like we'll always be together as we take one step closer to the edge but we still pretend

Despite the wrong turn, the two made it to the airport in good time, quickly parking and unloading Namjoon's things into a cart. The airport towered over them powerfully as they walked towards the entrance. The two anxiously got in line for plane tickets and baggage drop off, their hands tightly clasped together despite the sweat and condensation that was amounting. 

All too soon, Namjoon got his bags checked and his tickets. Jimin's gut twisted as a wave of nausea washed over him. 

"I hope you have a safe flight."

"I will. I'll threaten the pilot just to be sure. I'll tell them that my Kuroshimae wants me to have a safe flight." Namjoon said with a small laugh.

"I'm sure that'll work." Jimin sighed and kissed Namjoon softly, hoping to keep the memory of Namjoon's kiss in his mind for as long as possible, "You'll rock this job. I just know it."

"Thank you. I love you, Jimin-ah."

"I love you too, Namjoon hyung." 

Jimin watched as Namjoon disappeared in the airport, tears quietly flowing and his heart aching. It was cold when he made it back to his car and left the airport. Even his apartment felt cold, no matter how many sweaters or blankets he was wrapped in. 

Jimin's apartment was empty when he entered, tired after a long day of deliveries. In his hands was a fat stack of mail that he was excitedly flipping through, mindlessly taking his shoes off and putting on slippers as he walked further into his apartment. 

Spam. Bills. Coupons. 

It was all mundane letters and most of which he could do without. 

He sighed when he didn't find a letter from Namjoon, the bit of excitement he had stored away vanished with the lack of a letter. It must've been delayed in the shipping for one reason or another. 

Hopefully it'll come tomorrow. 

Dejectedly, he put the letters down on his kitchen table and went to his bedroom, falling face up on his bed and spreading out like a starfish. He reached over for the only stuffed animal he had in his bedroom and hugged it tightly. 

It was a jumbo Costasiella kuroshimae holding a sunflower.

"I miss you." Jimin said into the stuffed animal.

it's so hard to say goodbye and when I do I want to cry but I've got to let you fly

[moccahobi]

Dancing in the Rain [Pt. 3]

Summary:  Namjoon lived in a small town. He loved it. It had just enough going on to give him fun when needed and not enough going on that he felt overwhelmed. On top of that, it was only a three hour train ride to Seoul where he met with his publisher and many of his friends lived. It was the best of both worlds. His life gets a bit more interesting when a mysterious bleach blonde with a heart shaped smile enters his life.

genre: Slice of Life, Strangers to Lovers, Fluff

members: Namjoon (BTS) x Hoseok (BTS)

wc: 4.4k

warnings: lying about one’s name

Previous Chapter < > Masterlist

A/N: Thank you to the fabulous @chimknj​ for betaing this fic for me! Her help was so wonderful in making me feel confident in the consistency of the final chapter so long after my first two parts. Please go check out her works, she’s truly such a talented author!

Sweat dripped down Namjoon’s back, the sun bearing down on Hoseok and him as they hiked higher and higher. Namjoon hadn’t realized that there were many hiking opportunities nearby until Hoseok mentioned it. Since Hoseok had Namjoon wrapped around his finger, he agreed immediately to the hiking invite (despite his more sedentary lifestyle. 

It was a beautiful early fall hike. The leaves were starting to lose their green pigment and turn vibrant oranges, reds, and yellows. If Namjoon had the energy, he’d be playing around with descriptions as they walked. 

But Namjoon had no energy to think past putting one foot in front of the other. 

The trail was rough and despite it being early in the day, the sun was already an unrelenting beast. Namjoon’s shirt was soaked all the way through and his pants were joining, both bunching and riding up uncomfortably. 

Despite the physical exercise and angry sun, Hoseok seemed to be floating up the trail ahead of Namjoon. Small beads of sweat were growing on his neck and darkening the collar of his t-shirt, but compared to Namjoon, Hoseok seemed to be as dry as a desert. Not even the spots under Hoseok’s backpack that occasionally were revealed as he swung his shoulders with each step forwards seemed sweaty. Namjoon didn’t complain though. Hoseok made up for all the physical discomfort Namjoon felt (and not just because Namjoon had a painfully large crush on the man). 

Hoseok finished up his first tour since the two became friends. There had been some song releases and promotional stuff that he’d done before but this was the first time their friendship was tested by distance for months on end. The two called often (Namjoon’s irregular sleep schedule coming in handy for once) and tried to make it work but it was hard. Namjoon knew it’d be hard. 

They had managed it though. 

In some ways, it was easier than Namjoon expected. Despite the great distance, there were times where it felt like their schedules weren’t meeting up (like the occasional times where Hoseok would return to town after being gone for a month right when Namjoon had to go on a book signing tour) and technology helped so much to sooth Namjoon’s yearning. Sure they couldn’t snuggle while watching a movie but they could find a show with short episodes and watch that together occasionally. There were things they could still do together. 

In other ways, it was harder. Namjoon found himself replaying all their interactions together, trying to figure out if certain actions meant something in the times they’d most often met up (like the many times that Hoseok would hold his hand and gaze softly into his eyes). The further into Hoseok’s tour, the more Namjoon found himself spiraling. He was romanticizing each action with every replay. The memories likely got warped and distorted by Namjoon’s crush more and more each time. 

It had to be that. Their hugs and laughs and soft touches and sweet words were playful friend things. Namjoon needed to get over this crush of his. 

“Whaaaaa!! Namjoon-ah! Look at the view!” Hoseok shouted, pulling Namjoon from his thoughts.

He was 4 yards ahead and must have gotten to the first viewpoint on the trail (and the only one they’ll get to today). The view was supposed to be breathtaking but 3 yards away from the view (and still climbing uphill) Namjoon was struck by another view. 

Hoseok.

The sun surrounded him in a halo and yet his bright and excited heart shaped smile shone brighter than it. How dare a man look so good. He even was rocking his latest hair style (a soft looking caramel brown hair cut with gentle waves in it). The man would look stunning bald. It was unfair.

It was a struggle to look away from Hoseok when Namjoon was able to look at the view but he did it nonetheless. The town was on the outskirts of a larger city with enough stuff nearby to live a calm life. Most of the farms were stuff Namjoon had only seen through trains and buses. He’d started seeing more on his new bike but the view of the fields from a bike was so different from the view from this viewpoint. 

Rice fields seemed to stretch out forever. A lawn of green. Occasionally there’d be a flash of sunlight reflected in the water from the fields. 

It was almost as breathtaking as Hoseok. 

When Namjoon turned away from the view, he was met with Hoseok crouching down and spreading out a gingham red blanket from his large backpack. It was a classic picnic blanket that Namjoon had seen in many old timey American movies before. 

So that is why Hoseok told Namjoon to bring some sweets for them to nibble on. 

He was planning a picnic.

Did that mean that Hoseok had most of the main dishes in his backpack?

That would explain the size of it. 

Namjoon must have been staring at Hoseok awkwardly because he laughed and pated the blanket, “Come sit down, Joon-ah!”

As gingerly as possible, Namjoon did. Hoseok seemed to look at Namjoon fondly all the while, his eyes soft and a small smile on his face. His look made Namjoon’s stomach feel like tons of tiny caterpillars were hatching, squirming around uncomfortably. He shouldn’t be crushing on his friend. 

Averting his eyes, Namjoon took his time pulling out the sweets he got. In comparison to the stuff Hoseok was taking out of his backpack, Namjoon’s sweets felt minimal. How could twizzlers and partially melted cookies compare to the three course meal Hoseok was unpacking? 

“I missed you a lot, Joon-ah,” Hoseok started, carefully laying out the spread, his own eyes downcast, “I am glad we got to meet back up so soon after I returned.”

“Me too, Hoseok-ah. Being in person is much nicer than calls and facetime. Although at least on calls, I didn’t have to go on long hikes.” 

“I hope that despite its length, you still are enjoying it.” Hoseok said with a soft laugh and Namjoon got a sense that he was asking for some sort of validation with that comment.

Why?

He didn’t know.

But Hoseok deserved all the validation in the world.

“I did. You make everything fun.” 

Hoseok smiled softly and nodded at Namjoon’s comment. Suddenly a voice in his mind was yelling at him to confess. This was a great place to do it.

But Hoseok didn’t like Namjoon. Why would he? 

Namjoon was just Namjoon… Hoseok was so amazing and caring and hard working. 

A gentle silence blanketed them as Hoseok finished laying out the food. 

“I really missed this place,” Hoseok started after taking a few bites of food.

Namjoon looked up and nodded, his cheeks full. 

“Performing is amazing. I love it-- Crave it. I am so glad that I got to go on tour again, but it’s so nice to just breathe. Being here, I am able to take stuff slow in ways that I don’t think I have in so long. I've not had this slow pace since I entered the school system. I started as a trainee in high school but before then I was dancing and rarely gave myself breaks.”

“I’m glad you got a place here then.”

“Me too. I almost didn’t. My manager was the one who was pushing me to take on a slower schedule and spend time outside of Seoul between promotions. I’m glad I did. The breaks are nice. Being with you is nice too.”

Namjoon looked down at his plate, his cheeks burning, “I enjoy being with you too.”

“You’re so cute, Namjoon-ah.”

His head shot up, eyes wide as he looked at Hoseok. 

“Thank you.”

Hoseok nibbled his lower lip, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Would you… uh… would you want to go on a date with me?”

Namjoon inhaled at that, food getting lodged in his windpipe. He started coughing violently, face bright red. Leaning over, Hoseok started rubbing his back, apologizing profusely. Once Namjoon calmed down, Hoseok handed him some water.

“I am sorry for asking… we can let it go… I-”

“I would love to.” 

Namjoon’s voice was weak and raspy from coughing but it shut Hoseok up nonetheless. A soft smile grew on his face as he nodded.

Namjoon was rushing around his backyard, making small adjustments to make sure everything looked good for their first date. He readjusted his plants to make sure their best sides were being shown and fiddled with the layout of cut veggies he grabbed. 

He hadn’t done this before and it was stressful. What was one supposed to do to prepare for a small in house date? Did he need to prepare a gift? Would the food he got be enough? Would Hoseok enjoy it? 

It didn’t help that Namjoon’s experience with dates was next to null. He also hadn’t had a date like this before. 

Hoseok had to go back to Seoul unexpectedly after their hike so Namjoon was organizing the first date. Namjoon wanted to… but fuck it was hard. The time crunch had thrown him for a loop. He wanted to push the date back by a day or so to give him more time to prepare. Plus they didn't know when Hoseok would be done with work today. Hoseok was insistent on coming as soon as he could leave from work and neither of them knew when their next opportunity would be. It was why Namjoon was rushing.

Totally not him procrastinating on setting up.

Or stressing over something he’s never done before. 

The ring of his doorbell drew him from his thoughts.

He rushed to the door, opening it to see a tired looking Hoseok. He still had his bags in his hands (which were set down as soon as he came inside).

“I am so sorry for you needing to plan this,” Hoseok said as they started moving to the back yard, “I had a big thing planned but…”

He sighed.

Namjoon nodded.

“I don’t mind Hoseok-ah. We can do your thing for our second date.” 

Hoseok laughed and nodded.

“I guess. Wahhhh! Namjoon-ah! Your backyard always amazes me! It is so beautiful.”

Namjoon blushed and scratched the back of his neck, making his way to the variety of drinks he’d grabbed and prepared for the date. Despite knowing Hoseok for a while now, in his nerves for the date, he forgot all the things that Hoseok liked.

“I uh… I got us some soju. Do you want some now? Or do you want something else to drink? I have water, iced tea… sprite, I could make some--”

“I’ll have water.” 

Hoseok laughed, a soft look making its way on his face as he watched Namjoon pour some water. Namjoon was futzing around even after he gave Hoseok some water. 

“Sit down with me, Namjoon-ah.”

Namjoon coughed and did that, looking around anxiously as he did so.

“Is this your first date?” 

“W-W-wha-No? I… I’ve been on dates before! Many!” 

Namjoon was a beetroot with how red he was, squaring his shoulders and taking a large sip of his own drink.

Hoseok laughed and nodded, “Ok. Well, this is the first date I’ve been on in, like, 5 years.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh,” Hoseok laughed, “I missed you.”  

“Oh. I missed you too. What was the emergency at work?”

“They had a system outage. Lost some recordings I had made so they needed me to come in and record some more stuff. I don’t know why they didn’t have it backed up better… but everything was lost.” 

“Awwe. Was there much to rerecord?”

“Sadly. I am not promoting any music for a while but they had some video challenges prerecorded. We also lost a lot of vlog footage from dancing and stuff, but I managed to convince them to let me film it here.”

A comfortable flow of conversation settled over them as the night continued. Namjoon still had his nervous moments (and also almost set the grill on fire) but generally, the date was a comfortable and fun time. It was super fun, actually. Namjoon’s worries and stress quelled, he found himself melting into the flow of the night, a comfortable giddiness growing. Like fermenting wine, the night developed a sweet atmosphere and grew richer and richer with each minute. Hoseok was all giggles and sunshine every time their hands brushed and despite the night ending without even a peck on the lips, Namjoon found himself struggling to fall asleep that night as the date replayed on repeat. 

He felt tipsy on the events of the night, floating in a soft fuzzy buzz that relaxed him to no end.

Was it possible for Namjoon to fall hard for someone after the first date?

Namjoon looked out the train window, the town growing smaller as it chugged along. It was a fall crisp morning and the world around the train was slowly turning various shades of yellow. He had an impromptu meeting with his publisher but unlike a few years ago (before he started dating Hoseok), he felt excited. 

Hoseok’s manager was helping Namjoon surprise his boyfriend. 

He gets to see Jin hyung again.

When his stop came, Namjoon giddily got up, fumbling to grab his bag and rushing to check into his hotel. 

Hoseok was going to be on break in an hour. 

His manager was going to pick Namjoon up in thirty minutes. 

By the time the manager, Seojun, came by, Namjoon had worked up a sweat from rushing to and from a nearby grocery store. The car was sleek and fancy.

Namjoon stood frozen in front of the car in shock. 

Sure, he knew Hoseok and his company had money, but he hadn’t expected this much. The window rolled down. 

"You coming?" 

Namjoon jumped, rushing into the car and mumbling a small apology. He'd met Seojun a few times but that didn't stop the awkward air that settled over them. Throughout the ride, they made light conversation, long stretches of silence rested in the gaps. During those breaks, Namjoon’s nerves skyrocketed. 

Seojun cleared his throat near the end of the ride, “Now, Namjoon-ssi, I suspect Hoseok won’t actually be resting when you visit… which is why I am so appreciative of you coming. Hoseok works so hard but forgets to take breaks sometimes.”

Namjoon nodded, not quite knowing what to say in response. 

“I am glad you brought food as well. It’ll be good for him. I am sorry that I can’t get you both more time together though. The schedule can be somewhat flexible but sadly we do have an important session after this break so I can’t give you all too much time. I am hopeful that this will be a good break for Hoseok.”

“I am glad I can help.” Namjoon said, trying to hide his growing nerves.

This was a surprise visit and Hoseok loved Namjoon… but what if he didn’t want to see Namjoon today? 

What if Hoseok made plans that his manager didn’t know about? 

What if Hoseok didn’t want to take a break?

Sure Hoseok was preparing for a comeback next week and Namjoon would only likely get to actually interact with Hoseok for thirty or so minutes but… what if?

There wasn’t much time to dwell though as soon they arrived at Hybe’s building. It stood tall and cold in front of Namjoon. Every time he’s seen the building, it stole his breath. Unlike previous times when Namjoon had space to stand in front of the building and absorb the feelings, Seojun ushered him along.

All Namjoon could do as they made their way deeper into the building was focus on Seojun. He knew the area well and was weaving through the building expertly. Before long, they stood in front of a studio door.

Namjoon was familiar with it. In the few times he’s visited and the many video calls he’s had with Hoseok, his studio was the main place they happened. 

Seojun knocked on the door softly.

“Is it important? I am refining a song.”

Hoseok’s voice sounded rough from the constant use and Namjoon could hear the exhaustion that was dripping from it. 

“I thought I told you to take a break, Hoseok-ssi?”

“I’ll rest later.”

“You won’t have time to rest later.” 

Seojun looked over at Namjoon as if saying “I told you he’d be like this”.

Namjoon opened the door, “Hobi, get off your computer. It’s time to rest.” 

At neck breaking speed, Hoseok turned around, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open in surprise. He sat still, watching closely as Namjoon closed the studio door and set the food down.

“I hope you don’t mind the food I got. I arrived like an hour ago… didn’t have much time to get good quality food.”

As soon as the food was set down, Hoseok jumped up, engulfing Namjoon in a tight hug. 

“I missed you, Joonie-ah.”

“I missed you too.” 

They stood there in silence, tightly hugging each other. The studio was so quiet that the soft humming of Hoseok’s lamp could be heard. It was the tune to their hug. A constant soft hum.

“Oh shit. I need to save my project.” 

Namjoon laughed and watched as Hoseok quickly typed away on his computer. 

“You’re taking a break, Mister. As soon as you're done saving, let's sit on the couch and eat. I don’t know about you, but I am hungry.” 

After five minutes of Hoseok tapping away, Namjoon walked up to him, “Yeah! Save your work and come over.”

With a deep sigh, Hoseok stepped away.

“I hate you, Namjoon-ah.” 

Namjoon snorted.

“I love you too. You need a break.” 

Hoseok shook his head, a small smile on his face. The two of them settled on the couch, Hoseok curling up on Namjoon’s lap. They sat in silence, slowly munching on the food Namjoon got and relaxing.

Both of them knew that there wasn’t tons of time to relax together, Hoseok’s schedule was packed full, but neither of them brought it up. 

Less than two hours later, there was a soft knocking at the door. 

It was Seojun.

“Come in.”

Namjoon spoke quietly, looking down at Hoseok napping peacefully and gently shaking the man. 

As Seojun entered, Hoseok started to wake, blinking sleep away.

“It’s time for your vocal coach session.” 

Hoseok hummed, smacking his lips and hugging Namjoon tighter. Namjoon gently kissed his head.

“I’m meeting my hyung nearby so I won’t need a ride.” 

Seojun nodded.

Hoseok whined as Namjoon started to wiggle around. Leaving was the last thing he wanted to do but Hoseok had responsibilities that couldn’t be missed… and Namjoon was meeting Seokjin soon but that was something that he would cancel in a heartbeat if it meant more time with Hoseok. At that thought, Namjoon heard an imaginary Seokjin yelling and whining. As he got up with the speed of a sloth, it felt like part of his heart was staying behind with Hoseok, cheering him on and wrapping him in an eternal hug. 

If only Namjoon could do that.

With a chaste goodbye kiss and a long hug, Namjoon finally left Hoseok to continue with his schedule.

Leaving Hoseok’s company felt like a long trudge, an internal fight to turn around and stay with Hoseok raging as he walked. With the help of some people in the company, Namjoon somehow managed to make it out of the company and into the busy streets of Seoul to find Seokjin. 

When Namjoon finally made it to Seokjin, waving at the man tiredly, he laughed and said, “You look like someone stole your popsicle. Why do you look so sad, Namjoon-ah?” 

“Nothing. I just… I wish I had more time with my boyfriend.” Namjoon said, guiding Seokjin into the small restaurant.

The conversation seemed to die down as the two got seated and placed their order. A comfortable silence wraped around them like a blanket as they rested. Seokjin took a while to figure out what he wanted and as he did, Namjoon looked around, observing the three other customers that were here. They were all at another table across the room, chatting quietly as they ate their many dishes. 

Despite their quiet voices, Namjoon could almost make out what they were talking about with how small the restaurant was. In fact, if Seokjin and him held hands and stretched, they could touch both sides of the restaurant. Although they might need to move a table or two to do so. It was a cozy place that seemed to be steeped in a warm hue from the lights and candles scattered about. 

Since Namjoon and Hoseok started dating, Namjoon found himself pushing less and less for useless meetings to be zoom meetings or emails. The small meetings were an excuse to travel to Seoul when Hoseok was here. Hoseok and Seokjin combined convinces Namjoon that a few boring meetings that he could zone out during was worth the trip. He hadn’t regretted it. 

Especially since Seokjin and him had found such a good restaurant. Not only was it a small family owned place, but not a lot of people knew about it and their food was amazing. For cheap, they could get tons of good side dishes and some amazing homemade ramen. Plus, it was close enough to Hoseok’s company that Namjoon could pop in sometimes or deliver some food. 

“Can you stop thinking about your boyfriend for a second and fill me in on your life?” Seokjin said with a laugh, interrupting Namjoon’s thoughts.

Namjoon laughed and shook his head, “I am sorry, hyung. It seems he’s always on my mind these days.”

“If that’s the case, why don’t you propose?” He asked, playing with the empty soju glass on their table as he watched the waiter walk around the store. 

Namjoon nodded, the thought making him anxious and excited, his thoughts rushing off like runoff into a gutter as Seokjin started talking about some other topic. Namjoon’s mind flited in and out of their conversation that night, thoughts of proposing to his boyfriend of three years sticking to him like glue. 

It wouldn’t be something that’d happen soon since Hoseok will be having a world tour after his music release… and maybe Hoseok’s company has an engagement ban despite them being somewhat open to Hoseok dating… Would Namjoon still be a private part of Hoseok’s life if they got engaged or would he become publicly linked to Hoseok…

“Yeah! Namjoon-ah! Are you listening to me?” Seokjin asked, setting his soju glass down loudly as he waved in front of Namjoon’s face. 

“Oh? Sorry, hyung. I got distracted. What were you talking about?” 

Seokjin laughed and shook his head before launching into a conversation about his latest pokemon adventures. Namjoon tried to pay attention, his mind struggling more and more as the night progressed. There was a tangled web of thoughts in his head and it seemed to be growing more and more. 

Somehow, Namjoon did manage to stay somewhat engaged and had a decent time with his hyung. They ended their night walking the streets and watching buskers, the two tipsily dancing along to the music. The night seemed to end with a pastel pink heu as Namjoon left Seokjin laughing excitedly and found himself falling asleep as soon as he made it home. 

Even though Namjoon was here for three more days, the time flew by quickly. He spent it writing in cafes, hanging with Seokjin again, and video calling Hoseok every night. Ideally, Namjoon would’ve been staying with Hoseok but with his comeback so close, Hoseok had reporters and fans practically living outside his apartment. It wouldn't been too risky. This way, Namjoon was also able to walk around a lot. Something he wouldn't have been able to do if he stayed with Hoseok.

Namjoon did get a laugh out of an article that showed off Hoseok’s and his “close friendship”. It had been released after they took a walk during one of Hoseok’s miniscule breaks. It really was just to the closest cafe to get coffee and back but the time with Hoseok was wonderful. 

*Their friendship would be talked about as even closer if Namjoon proposed to Hoseok.*

Namjoon chuckled at that thought and shook his head at the thought, trying to focus on the beautiful view he could see from the train. The thought of proposing hadn’t quite left his head ever and somehow it stuck with him as Hoseok had his comeback and left for tour. 

Their distance was almost more painful as the thoughts of a proposal grew in Namjoon’s head but they managed. Their old reliable video calling at odd hours and slow texting made do.

It also gave Namjoon even time to indulge in his thoughts of proposal as he went out and bought a small ring for Hoseok without worry of sneaking around. Given with Hoseok and his schedules Namjoon wouldn't have had to sneak around anyways. With the ring tucked away safely in his apartment, Namjoon’s excitement festered and grew all throughout Hoseok’s tour. 

This was real. 

He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Hoseok. 

Hoseok didn’t return home right after his tour, having to go to a few meetings first and Namjoon waited for Hoseok. His writing distracted him from the excitement of seeing Hoseok again. When Hoseok came, the two spent every possible second together. The ring sat patiently in one of Namjoon’s drawers.

They had a month together before Hoseok was whisked away again by his job. The ring sat patiently as Namjoon cheered Hoseok on and occasionally visited. 

Two years passed and Hoseok had moved in with Namjoon. The ring sat quietly tucked away from Hoseok. 

One fateful rainy summer day, Hoseok and Namjoon walked out to dance around in their quiet haven. The ring sat patiently in Namjoon’s pants pocket, soon to be sitting happily on Hoseok’s ring finger. 

⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆

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[limjaeseven]

Flying to You

Pairing: Kun X Ten

Genre: Angst, Romance, WW2!au

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 4,191

Summary: Kun has dreamt of flying high among the clouds all his life. Things take a turn though, when the war breaks out and he's forced to leave his own plane for a fighter jet.

Warning(s): Major character death, implied smut, mention of war related casualties, mention of corporal punishment

[a/n]: Written as part of the Ghibli Collab hosted by the one and only @toikiii. Thanks for proof reading this, dae! This fic was inspired by the movie 'The Wind Rises'.

Travelling to London was not something Kun had ever thought he’d get the opportunity to do. The trip was slow but it gave the man enough time to ponder over his plight.

Kun had grown up in a small village, where his main form of entertainment was a book about planes that his uncle had brought for him from the city. He spent his waking hours memorising every word in the book, engraving the drawings in his brain, and spent those he slept dreaming of flying those beautiful machines high in the air.

He was never alone on these fantastic adventures, there’d always be a lady by his side, some twenty years of age, one he’d never seen before. “Concentrate, Kun, your focus is drifting. One mistake and it’s a one way ticket to hell, you know that,” she’d remind him when he’d let himself get lost in the scenery around him.

Kun knew he was dreaming, but those dreams felt so real, sometimes he wondered if he was wrong about the difference between reality and his imagination. There was always a feeling of disappointment when he’d wake up, waiting for the moment he could go back and enjoy the open fields and vast oceans from the sky.

Kun’s father wasn’t the nicest man he knew but he did fund his education without qualms, which he could never be grateful enough for. Getting an engineering degree wasn’t easy, but he managed to get through it. His dream of flying only became greater as he studied, having gotten the opportunity to actually see some in real life and study them.

His actual opportunity didn’t come until two years after he’d graduated, when one of his co-workers shared that he knew the owner of a private airfield who gave lessons. The fees were exorbitant, and despite saving every penny Kun could, it wasn’t enough. He felt bad asking his mom, but she only smiled, spoke to his dad and returned with the money he needed.

“Hands go there and there,” The instructor showed him on the third day of training. He’d run him down on all the basics on the days prior, and was actually showing Kun how to put that knowledge to practice. The cockpit was small, barely enough for the two of them, but without even having left the ground, Kun felt at home.

Once they’d completed a tour of the plane, the instructor told him to hop in, promising him his first ride. Kun could feel himself buzzing as he sat down behind the man, fastening himself into the seat and bracing himself for what was to come.

The taxiing process was nerve-wracking, as Kun felt every hair on his body stand on end. The instructor threw him a thumbs up to signal that they were taking off before the plane began picking up speed. The feeling of his body being forced into his seat was grounding to Kun as the plane left the tarmac, pushing them full speed forward into the vast skies.

Kun has his eyes glued to the window that showed the world outside shrink rapidly. The clouds felt tangible for the first time in his life, not mere swathes of white painted on the endless horizon. He could barely process the words his instructor spoke, his mind trying to make sure this wasn’t another dream.

When it was time to land, Kun wished he could stay up in the air forever. He swore in that moment to spend every spare moment of his life doing this, regardless of what came in his way. Work would fly by as he thought of himself in that cockpit again, this time with his hands on the controls, floating through the air. His instructor could see the passion in his eyes and kept it burning as he guided Kun through his training, and before he knew it, Kun had a licence.

Flying became an escape for Kun after that, when work was hard or he was missing his mother, he would rush to the airbase to pull a helmet on his head and set off into the infinite skies above him. Things were fine for a while, the dreams of flying had ceased because Kun was able to fulfil them in his waking hours, but then all hell broke loose.

Everyone knew the war was impending but it still surprised people when it finally broke out. The military was conscripting able-bodied men and Kun knew his father would never forgive him if he didn’t serve, so he was amongst the first to enrol in the wartime efforts. Basic training was short and brutal, a cruelly abridged regimen to get the men into shape and out onto the battlefield.

Training had sucked the life out of Kun, but he knew that this was where he was supposed to be. His father may not have been the nicest man he knew, but he was deeply patriotic, and had instilled a sense of responsibility in Kun, one that made him strive for the betterment of those around him.

By the end of the month, he was going through one evaluation after the next, before he was redirected to the air squadron as a consequence of his licence. The deployment was quick to come, the war was evolving rapidly and men were needed in London, where the British had developed jets that could help the Allies in the war.

The trip to London from Hong Kong was long and nerve wracking, men packed like sardines in the back of a large plane. There was no communication with the outside world in those hours they spent between stops, and the atmosphere was too sombre to say much during. They would only be able to tune into the radio while the plane refuelled, a few quiet hours of listening to the worsening conditions and climbing body counts.

Kun didn’t get to see much of London before he was whisked away to the Royal Air force's base. He was with a team of nine other men, the best Hong Kong had to offer. They were shown planes of iron and steel, war machines meant to annihilate populations with a few well placed bombs. They were to fly it into Germany, an act of retaliation against the increasing violence on their part.

Kun sat down on the bunk assigned to him at night, hours after the briefing of their mission, wondering what he was doing. All he had wanted was to fly to escape from the world below him, not to hurt people. He wished he could go back to the air field back home and enjoy the peace of the green fields and infinite skies again.

That night, he dreamt again, just like he did when he was younger. He was sitting in the cockpit of his plane with the same lady behind him, now a little older, her sharp eyes making sure he was flying properly. Out of nowhere, he found himself speaking something he’d surprisingly never wondered. “What’s your name?” He asked.

“You’ll find out soon enough,” she said with a hearty chuckle. Kun didn’t have the time to ruminate on that comment, he had to keep his eyes in front of him.

It was after they’d landed that he spoke to him again. They were sitting on the ground in the grass, their helmets next to them. “I know you’re worried about what you’re doing, but you have to take a call, Kun,” she said, “In war, you either have conviction, or you run away.”

When he awoke, warm sunlight was streaking out of the window, his bunkmate still asleep above him. He left the room to find the mess and have something to eat. Their training with the new jets would begin soon, the final mission just over a month away. His English was good enough to be able to communicate with the British officers, and they led him down to the dining room.

That’s when he saw her, his eyes blowing wide at the sight of familiar short hair and sharp eyes. “Ms Lee, this is Kun Qian, one of your trainees,” the officer introduced before turning to Kun, “Mr Qian, Ms Hazel Ying Lee will be guiding you through your upcoming mission.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Hazel spoke, extending her hand to Kun. He returned the gesture, trying his best not to look too flustered. It was weird standing in front of the woman who had guided him for so many years and have her not know who he was. She asked him to join her for breakfast, which he did, and enjoyed an amicable conversation with her.

“Kun, things are going to get tough from here, not only physically, but emotionally as well. You’re clearly not a military man, so war isn’t something you were trained for. I suggest spending your free time in the city, enjoying what is left while it lasts.” Hazel was just like she was in his dreams, just as fierce and just as wise. Training under her was harsh, but the end result was far better than what Kun could have anticipated. Flying with Hazel was always a challenge, her sharp eyes ready to point out the smallest mistake he made.

He did take her advice though, and started to spend his free time exploring the city. He visited cafes and spent afternoons reading by the river, the atmosphere calm till he was brought back to reality by loud air raid sirens which made him run for cover.

It was in the evening, one week after he first arrived in London, that he saw him. He was standing by the fountain in a big park where Kun was taking a walk. His dark hair sat prettily over his forehead, plain white shirt tucked neatly into a pair of trousers, leather belt accentuating his tiny waist. He was playing around with a small child, helping her toss coins into the water and make wishes.

Kun didn’t realise that he had stopped in the middle of the walking trail to admire the man till someone politely asked him if he could move so that they could walk ahead. Finding the nearest bench, Kun pulled his book out of his jacket and tried to distract himself but his eyes kept wandering to the man in white. His eyes were so kind, face lighting up as he spoke to the child.

Just as Kun was about to force himself to leave, the man glanced up, catching Kun staring at him. Kun froze in his place as the man smiled at him, turning back to the child and sending her off with a wave before making his way to the bench.

“Do you spend your evenings ogling young men at the park?” The man asked, his tone light.

Kun knew he was joking but still felt the strong urge to apologise. “I’m so sorry. You just caught my eye,” he tried, even though he knew it was a terrible explanation.

“You’re nice, so I’ll let it be,” the man said, smile widening. “I’m Ten, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Kun, and pleasure’s all mine.” Ten sat down next to Kun after their introductions, and the two men quickly fell into a comfortable conversation. Ten explained that he was an elementary school teacher, explaining his skill around kids. He had tried to join the war efforts but a frail body had denied him the opportunity.

“Is it scary, being that high up in the sky?” It was late in the evening, the two men having spent hours talking about anything and everything. They had relocated to a restaurant for dinner, not wanting to let go of each other just yet.

“It’s liberating. I’ve never felt scared, just free.”

“Can I fly to Hong Kong with you when the war is over? I’m too scared to go on my own, but I really want to go there.” Ten had already told him about being born in England to Thai Chinese parents and how he had never left the country before.

“Of course, I’d love to show you around. The food is incredible there.” Kun couldn’t help but picture the two of them wandering through night markets and munching on street food, shoulders brushing as they walked through the bustling crowds.

He went home that night, unable to get Ten’s face off his mind. It was as if the man had engraved himself on the back of his eyelids, being the only thing Kun could see when he closed his eyes. He knew the way he thought about the man could get him in trouble if anyone found out, but he just couldn’t deny the feelings that raged in his heart.

Of course Hazel could tell that something had changed, and she pestered him about it whenever they were together in private. “Tell me, Kun. Is it a girl? Wait, of course it is, you wouldn’t look so lovesick otherwise. Is she pretty?” She kept throwing questions his way and he kept trying to avoid them, till one day the dam broke.

“It’s not a girl, Hazel,” he mumbled, unsure of how she would react.

“Oh, a boy, then?” Kun couldn’t help but stare in wonder at the cheeky smile on his trainer-turned-best-friend’s face. Of course she would be supportive of him.

“Yeah, and he’s really handsome. I met him at the park a few days ago,” Kun admitted.

“I know I don’t need to tell you to be careful, but I do want you to enjoy yourself while you can, Kun. If he does know, make the best of the time you two have left, if he doesn’t, at least make a friend who’ll make your days better.” Kun felt tears well up in his eyes as he pulled Hazel in for a hug. He didn’t have the words to express the gratitude he felt towards her, but he hoped she could feel it through his gestures. “Go get your man, boy.”

***

In the month leading up to the mission, Kun lived two lives everyday. One, on the training field, and one in Ten’s company. Mornings spent doing push ups and getting used to flying jets, evenings spent getting coffee or dinner at small restaurants tucked into quiet corners of the city. For someone who’d always loved daylight, Kun couldn’t wait for the sun to set, just to be able to see Ten again.

“Do you have to go back now?” Ten asked him one evening, less than two weeks before Kun had to leave. Kun couldn’t actually tell Ten his d-day for his team’s safety but he’d alluded that he’d have to leave ‘soon’. The moment he heard that, Ten had become adamant to spend as much time as they could together. Kun had a curfew to get back on the base but he’d gotten Hazel’s help to extend them by a few hours to follow Ten wherever he took him.

“I have till midnight, there’s only so much they’d loosen up,” Kun sighed, not wanting the night to end. It was just after ten thirty, meaning they only had a little more time for the day.

“Come with me, I want to show you something.” Ten grabbed Kun’s hand and dragged him up from the bench they were sitting at, leading them to the nearest tram station and hopping onto the right one. Kun followed quietly, enjoying the man’s company as he spoke enthusiastically about the new student in his class. They stayed till the last stop before the tram would turn back to return the way it came before they got off. The area was secluded, bordering the bustling city. It was definitely a change of landscape for Kun, only having seen the tarmac of the air field and the busy streets of the city in the preceding weeks.

They followed a narrow trail that led them up a hill, the night sky blanketing them in hues of blue and black. They didn’t have a light on hand but the shine of the moon and the neighbourhood nearby provided them with just enough visibility to make it to the peak. A lone apple tree sat there, old and dry, leaves frail, as if waiting for just the right moment to fall off. Ten sat down with his back against its bark, patting on the ground next to him as a silent request to Kun.

“I used to come here a lot as a kid. There was something very calming about being here alone, under the stars. This tree was mine, I had carved my name into its bark to make sure it would remember that this was my spot,” Ten said, his voice barely above a whisper, “I came here two days ago, for the first time in years. It was after you’d gone home, and I had felt this sinking feeling when I saw you leave. I thought coming here would make me feel better like it always did. It didn’t, and I couldn’t figure out for the longest time why I felt alone in a place that had always kept me company.”

Ten paused, turning to face Kun. Their knees brushed from how close they were sitting. Kun could feel his heart race, seeing the man’s face up close.

“It dawned upon me long after I’d left, upset at the lack of answers.” Kun held his breath, anticipating the words that would follow. “I had found something, someone else, to keep me company.”

Ten had barely gotten the words out when Kun leaned closer, his hand cautiously reaching up to cup the other man’s face. If he was wrong about this, it would absolutely doom Kun, but in that moment, it was worth the risk. He couldn’t tell who initiated it, his senses full of the feeling of Ten’s lips against his own. Kun couldn’t help the surprised sound that left him when Ten reciprocated the kiss, hesitant at first but quickly melting into something comfortable.

“I’ve wanted to do that since the first time I laid my eyes on you,” Ten admitted when they pulled away for air, his forehead resting against Kun’s. Their time was running out, with only a few short minutes left before they would have to return to the tram station and head home, but they savoured every moment they could spare, lips never parting for longer than the few seconds it took them to catch their breath. If their smiles were just a bit brighter on their way home, they’d blame it on the lovely weather.

***

“It’s D-5, boys. Five more days to prepare yourself for war. The mission is going to last for as long as you and our resources do, so better strap in for the long ride,” Hazel briefed them. She was already dressed in her flight suit, ready to run the squadron through offence and defence manoeuvres. While Kun wanted to concentrate, his head was still reeling from the happenings of the night prior.

They had finished dinner early as-per Ten’s request, heading to the river side to admire the late evening for a bit before Ten dragged him to his apartment. It was a small, dingy room with a little kitchenette and bath in a not so great part of town, but it was the best he could afford. Letting Kun step inside first, Ten was quick to lock the door before pushing Kun against it, his lips claiming the smooth expanse of his neck. Kun bit his bottom lip to stop himself from moaning as Ten ravaged his body, sending waves of pleasure crashing over his body.

They had spent all of that night making love, basking in the short lived intimacy. They both knew they were fighting against the clock but they were not going to give up. It was twenty minutes to midnight when they finally calmed down, Ten’s head nuzzled in Kun’s bare chest, hands clasped tightly together.

“I always imagine you turning into a mouse when the clock strikes midnight,” Ten muses, his tone teasing yet melancholic.

“Wouldn’t you love to see that? You’d become the most popular teacher. The kids would call you Prince Charming.” Kun stared at the clock that hung on Ten’s wall, trying to will it to slow down. It didn’t, and when there were five minutes remaining, Kun dragged himself off the bed and put his clothes back on, easing the wrinkles out with his hands. Ten didn’t move from where he sat on the bed, though his eyes followed every motion Kun made. Pressing a kiss to the man’s forehead, he bid him a quiet goodbye before finding his way out.

“Kun?” Hazel’s voice pulled Kun out of his thoughts. He looked up at her apologetically, and she just shook her head before pulling him away. “Is everything alright?”

“I’m in love, Hazel,” Kun said before he could really process the words that came out of his mouth. Noticing the worried look that crossed her face, Kun was quick to clarify, “We’re on the same page.”

“Oh Kun, I’m so sorry.” It felt odd having someone feel bad for him for having his love be reciprocated but he knew all too well what he meant. He had five days left, three of which he could spare Ten, before he’d leave. There was no certainty that he’d return, that he’d see Ten ever again.

The hours he spent with Ten shortened drastically in those last few days, their usual five hours turning to three, to two, to one. The minutes would fly by them as they tried to grasp them between themselves. It was hopeless and they both knew it.

The last time he saw Ten before his mission, they had spent their time under the apple tree, Ten carrying a knife with him to carve Kun’s name right under his own. “It’ll keep me company while I wait for you.” Kun had to muffle his tears into his pillow that night to make sure his bunkmate didn’t wake up.

***

“It was a pleasure to work with you,” Hazel said during her last briefing, the morning of their D-day. She gave Kun a tight hug, tears in her eyes, “See you on the other side.”

Once he was in the jet, his body worked on autopilot, hands moving from one side to the other, fiddling with the controls in front of him. He knew his job like the back of his hand, and he carried it out without second thought. Hours of flying blurred into mere minutes, and before he knew it, they were landing in their designated hiding spot. They would spend the night there and restock before they set off again.

Days turned to weeks and Kun spent his spare moments trying to figure out how long it would take them to run out of resources, forcing them to return. He knew it would be a stretch for him to survive till then, his fellow pilots going down one by one as the days went on. He was still hopeful as he watched their stocks deplete with every trip, the end coming closer and closer.

By the time of their last restock, their squadron of ten was down to three pilots and three jets that were barely holding together. All Kun could think of was dropping the last of the payload and returning home. He could picture Ten waiting for him by the river, his eyes flickering between the horizon and the sidewalk, counting the seconds down till Kun would show up next to him.

He flew with vigour that day, his mind on reaching the right spots at the right time, wasting not a millilitre of fuel. The moment he hit the button for the last drop, he signalled to his team that they were done, and they raced back to their home airbase, impatient to have their feet on the ground.

Hazel was waiting for them on the tarmac when they landed, having been alerted of their arrival. Kun had expected a big smile and a tight hug, but the expression on her face as he took his helmet off scared him.

“There was a bombing the day after you left,” She said, her voice apologetic, “One fell on Ten’s school. He couldn’t make it out in time.”

Kun could barely hear her words as he fell to his knees, tears pouring down his face. As much as he wanted to mourn losing Ten, a part of him knew he’d just administered the same fate to hundreds of other people. An eye for an eye, fate had asked of him. He might be on the right side of history, but it didn’t mean he could fight without getting blood on his hands.

Kun’s father wasn’t the nicest man he knew, he had beaten Kun black and blue when he was a kid for daydreaming too much, but when he funded Ten’s funeral without a single question, he hoped he’d be able to learn something from him, for himself and for Ten.

[moccahobi]

Hands, Hands, and More Hands

Summary: Taehyung runs an ASMR channel that he wants to keep secret. He plans on telling his boyfriend and friends soon... Someday. He’s most definetly going to share. He’s nervous about it though. After a few bad experiences in the past he's found it harder to share his love for ASMR. When a flier about his channel is posted on the community board of his building (a big place of gossip) though, he's forced to share... Or keep quiet.

Prompt: This is part of @bangtanwritingbingo​ for my prompt “hair brushing”!

Word Count: 4.8k

Pairing: Taehyung (BTS) x Hoseok (BTS)

Genre: fluff, angst

Warnings: allusions to anxiety attacks and anxiety, insecurity

Ratings: teen up

Authors Note: thank you to the lovely @btsmosphere for betaing this! I greatly appreciated all of her help!!!! 💜💜💜

Warmth enveloped Taehyung, his blanket and Hoseok's warm body resting against his own and wrapping him in a blanket of content that he longed to stay in forever. The room was cold and urged Taehyung quietly to never leave bed where he was wrapped in warmth with nothing but the soft sounds of the apartment building and Hoseok filling his mind. It was the perfect combination. 

Hoseok was resting against Taehyung’s chest, listening to his heart beat slowly and steadily. Taehyung ran his fingers through Hoseok's hair and scratched his scalp gently, savoring the melody of content hums Hoseok was making. Hoseok’s many sounds was Taehyung’s favorite music and he wished he could listen to it on repeat. Hoseok’s hair was soft and smelled slightly of mint from when he showered the night before.

It was a soothing Sunday morning, the two of them tangled together in bed after a cozy breakfast date (in Hoseok's kitchen), their bellies full from the wonderful food they are and hearts full from smiles and laughter the two shared. 

Sunday morning dates had become a tradition shortly after they started dating, the two spending the four hours before Hoseok’s shift together in the quiet comfort of Hoseok’s apartment. Originally they had the morning dates in Hoseok’s apartment because Taehyung’s ex-roommate, Sungmin, would spend the morning playing video games loudly and often refused to clean up their main living space no matter how much Taehyung asked. Lucky for the couple,  Hoseok’s roommate, Yoongi, worked mornings on the weekends and was a neat freak. Sungmin has since moved out though so in theory they could have the dates at Taehyung’s apartment, but neither suggested the change, Hoseok’s kitchen and bed a welcome tradition for the two. 

Taehyung might even say that Sunday morning dates were his favorite tradition. They were at the very least, a consistent highlight of his week that encouraged him to continue his long and tiresome work days.

"I wish I didn't have to go to work. I could lay here forever." Hoseok said, snuggling against Taehyung and sighing deeply. 

"I know… It'd be nice to stay here all day… in theory." Hoseok groaned and Taehyung laughed loudly before continuing, "But we just ate. Soon we'll have to pee. Plus--"

"While the bed is nice our backs will hurt after another hour, I know. I know. A guy can wish though. Besides, you have stuff to do later today, right?"

Taehyung nodded and nibbled his lip, Hoseok’s reminder of his plans to film later today left Taehyung feeling uncomfortably hot, his gut twisting with nerves. Maybe he could tell Hoseok today… It wasn't like ASMR was something he was ashamed of. Taehyung enjoyed making it and Hoseok would enjoy it in part because of how much Taehyung enjoyed it. Hoseok was pure sunshine, of course he would be ok with Taehyung filming ASMR. Even if some people may have left Taehyung with a bitter taste in Taehyung’s mouth about sharing, if anyone would be understanding, it would be Hoseok.  

"I do…"

"Hey, Taehyung-ah. I know you're deep in thought about whatever you're working on, but don't stop rubbing my head!"

Taehyung laughed and nodded, ignoring his anxiety and returning to rubbing Hoseok’s head… they were still a new couple… six months… That wasn't a lot of time. He only told his ex-roommate after a year of living together… though that ended poorly. 

Besides, Hoseok was planning on moving in together once Hoseok's and Yoongi’s lease was up in a few months (Yoongi was already looking for another place to move into). Taehyung had time and Hoseok seemed to be ok with waiting until Taehyung was comfortable. He had time. 

He had all the time in the world. 

Taehyung didn't have time. 

He had next to no time in the world.

He went to check the apartment’s community board out of habit on his way back from getting groceries. The apartment building was a big community full of small events people hosted (Taehyung’s favorite was the book club with Miyeon ajussi and the weekly dinners that Seokjin hyung threw). Taehyung also saw a lot of small news clippings sometimes. Every time Taehyung checked the board there were at least five proud parents posting about their kids doing well in school or getting married or getting promotions. People liked to put up the achievements of themselves and their families and Taehyung loved to see it. 

This time though, when he checked the community board, he was met with the community board staring down at him mockingly as if it won something. Pinned between the various fliers for parent breakfasts and local events was a poorly made flier that laughed at Taehyung.

“A famous YouTuber lives on this floor: BearASMR”

One of his thumbnails displaying his hands resting on a wooden cutting board was on the flier as well. 

Taehyung felt like he stopped breathing as his stomach was clawed at his throat with anxiety. No one in the apartment building knew about this and he didn’t put this up.

Taehyung’s mouth felt dry as his heart beat rushed in his ears.  

This couldn't be real. 

This had to be some game. 

Who the hell would even make this sort of flier?

This couldn’t be real. 

He looked around slowly to see if anyone was watching him or going near the board. The hall was empty. No one was around.

This was real and the flier mocked Taehyung with just how real it was. . 

How was this even possible?

Who did? 

Taehyung hadn't told anyone who was on this floor anymore… he rarely showed his interests in general unless his friends brought them up first… No one knew. 

Not his friends. Not Hoseok. 

He sighed, a headache was forming and in the matter of seconds, his whole body felt like complete and utter shit.  He readjusted his grip on his groceries before returning to his apartment. This wasn't what he wanted for his Tuesday. 

All he wanted was a simple Tuesday afternoon after working an exhausting morning shift full of students poorly playing trumpets and saxophones. 

Now he had to try to calm down before even trying to do anything. Today was going to be a long day.

Besides, he wasn't even that famous… he has a good 25k followers… but he was nowhere near famous. He didn't make tons of money and he barely got any sponsorships. It was more so a passion project. 

What was worse was that he didn't know why he was so shy about ASMR either. He had so many interests and enjoyed sharing some with his friends, but ASMR and some of the stuff he explored on his channel made him shy and self conscious. The want to hide his channel only grew after Sungmin kept insulting ASMR shortly before he moved. All of his insecurities around sharing were magnified tenfold after that. 

He sighed.

The aftermath of this wasn’t something he wasn’t looking forward to.

If he was lucky no one would talk about it… but knowing his apartment building, that wouldn’t be the case. Information people posted on that board spread like wildfire through the apartment building and if it was interesting enough information, Taehyung knew that it would be the main talk when people got together. 

Last year, when Choi Jihyo graduated top of his class at SNU and landed a nice job at a law firm, everyone was talking about the many ways that Jihyo managed to and each time Taehyung heard the story, it got more and more elaborate and unlikely. 

Taehyung shuddered at the thought of something similar happening to him and his channel. Would he get 200 million subscribers at some point? Would they warp what ASMR is? 

He didn’t know and that made him more scared.

Maybe he should lay back on attending stuff the apartment did together. Miyeon ajuma's book club would undoubtedly talk about it (even if Taehyung doubted that they knew what ASMR was or even what YouTube was)... The weekly dinners with Seokjin hyung and would also likely be full of talk about the channel… How long would it be before they knew it was Taehyung? 

He hid his face some in his ASMR but his friends knew what he looked like… what clothes he wore… what his voice sounded like. His friends knew him.

They'd likely find out. 

Would they tell everyone else in the apartment?

He sighed and shook his head. 

Not going may be even more suspicious. 

Ok, maybe that was a lie. 

Taehyung sighed, quickly drinking the rest of his tea and wincing as it burnt his mouth. He probably shouldn’t have done that but his nerves were running rampant as he watched his friends discuss the channel while cooking. Their faces alight with excitement and curiosity as they talked and talked, each word making the tension in his stomach grow tenfold. If it wasn’t that Seokjin seemed so bummed at the idea of Taehyung being unable to attend, he wouldn’t have come but Taehyung didn’t want to see Seokjin sad. Taehyung couldn’t say no to one of his favorite hyungs which was why he was stuck watching Jungkook, Hoseok, Yoongi, and Jimin cook Chuncheon dakgalbi.

He was so uncomfortable, unable to sit comfortably in Seokjin’s luxury bar stools. It felt like small bugs were crawling under his skin, his whole body itchy and achy from this whole situation (and work), and he didn't doubt that some of them had realized that. 

According to Hoseok (who always seemed to know what he was thinking), Taehyung was an open book (i.e. shit at hiding his emotions). 

It would be strange if they’ve watched multiple videos, right?

Surely, they’ve likely only watched one or two videos.

"I looked it up! It's a cool ASMR! And the person’s hands are so good looking! Like I could stare at them for hours! And I kind of have." Jungkook was talking and laughing excitedly as he chopped up sweet potatoes for a side he convinced Seokjin would be perfect for Chuncheon dakgalbi.

"You'll have to send me the link! I’ve not seen any of the videos but if you liked it, I am sure I will!" Namjoon said from where he was delegated to sit. 

Like Taehyung, he wasn’t allowed into the kitchen. Taehyung was banned after a few too many mishaps with over-cooking and burning food that led to them needing takeout (which was arguably better sometimes when one didn’t have to spend an hour trying to remove charred food from pans after).  Namjoon on the other hand was banned after his first time in the kitchen. The man has a knack for breaking things and that didn’t go away in the kitchen. Seokjin let the knife incident go because it was Namjoon’s first time using one. How it had taken Namjoon 26 years to finally use a knife, Taehyung didn’t know. That being said, after Namjoon managed to break a drwar, he was banned.

Taehyung longed to be in the kitchen right now or at the very least have something to do while others cooked away, then maybe he wouldn't look as suspicious. Instead, he was forced to sit and watch. Breathing was hard and with nothing to fiddle with or distract him, he was struggling to breath as he squirmed away.

"I'm really curious who it is though. They look young so it's definitely not Jihoon ahjussi." Jungkook laughed, "Maybe I could see Jisoo noona or Nayeon noona! They both seem like they'd be into it. Although the hands look pretty large… I don’t know what Jisoo noona and Nayeon noona’s hands look like."

“You keep bringing up this person’s hands.” Seokjin said with a large smile, his laughter high pitched and squeaky.

“BearASMR has REALLY good looking hands! Like I am mesmerized by them! Saw some of their videos where they played with wigs and their hands were as big as the head of one of the mannequins! Like imagine how soothing it’d be to have your hair played with by such large hands!” 

“Something tells me Jungkook likes hands a lot.” Yoongi laughed.

“Can you blame me? Hands are nice!”

Taehyung shrugged and started picking at his nail beds. Those were his hands that Jungkook was talking about. Would he recognize Taehyung’s hands tonight? 

God. He hoped not. 

It wasn’t like Jungkook would look at people’s hands much… right? 

His mouth felt dry like the one time he tried to make bread and managed to make a brick instead. He felt like a brick of bread. 

Taehyung didn't want to have this conversation. Maybe Seokjin’s upset would’ve been worth not coming today. Surely he could make up a lie about being sick or tired and get in Seokjin’s good grace… maybe even get some soup as well.

Hoseok waddled over, offering a bit of chopped, vibrant green onion to Taehyung.

"You tired, love?"

Taehyung hummed, savoring the sweet green onion as it burst in his mouth as he thought up a lie. The savory and sour flavor of onion did well to hide the bitter taste of bile that rose in his mouth as he lied, "Yeah. Work was tiring today."

Hoseok nodded, "I can imagine. With the new academic year you tend to get more students, right?"

Taehyung nodded. Hoseok knew his work schedule so well. If they didn’t spend most of their time together, it might have been a shock to Taehyung. Taehyung knew Hoseok’s schedule at this point as well, though. He didn’t work today but this week in general is sales heavy for the store he’s working at. Today was likely spent staring at a wall and dreading having to redo a back to school tutors pamphlet for the 100th time. 

Both of them worked in school adjacent jobs so it made sense that they had similar busy seasons. Just as parents were wanting to sign up their kids for tutors and extra curriculars, parents were coming to Taehyung to try to get their kids to learn brass instruments. It’d get busier when recitals and auditions started to come up and then he’d be more tired. Honestly, today was just hard socially with meeting new students, it wasn’t a rough enough day for him to be drained.

Luckily Hoseok didn't push the situation more, instead turning back to helping with cooking. Taehyung was left somewhat alone again, the kitchen bustling with people and as the conversation of the ASMR YouTuber sadly continued. Maybe Taehyung should ask for another drink so he wasn’t sitting awkwardly, waiting for the conversation to drag on and end.

As they started to work on putting the Chuncheon dakgalbi together for cooking though, the gossip died down and was replaced with people (mostly Seokjin and Jungkook) bickering about who does what and Jungkook’s new found obsession with hands. Watching from his chair, he felt comforted in the fact that the gossip seemed to die down quickly. 

Now that Taehyung thought about it more, apartment gossip tends to die down quickly. People would likely talk about it for a few days and then let it go when new gossip came out. Taehyung just had to lie low for a little and then it'll go away. 

Riding the waves was something he loved doing when he visited the beach, he could do it here… metaphorically. 

He sighed, his shoulders feeling lighter with relief as Namjoon started to strike up a conversation about the latest plant trends he’s been seeing.

As BearASMR faded from the conversation, Taehyung felt like a large shadow had just passed and he could see the group dinner clearly once again.

BearASMR will soon fade and no one will remember. Not even those who watched a video or two (or Jungkook who might have seen 10 just to look at Taehyung’s hands).

It’ll go away soon.

It didn't go away. 

Jungkook subscribed. 

Namjoon subscribed. 

The notifications laughed at Taehyung just as much as the damn flier (which was still up on the community board). It left like the subscription notifications and the flier were in cahoots, planning Taehyung’s downfall.

Thankfully, neither of them asked Taehyung if he was BearASMR. In fact, aside from Jungkook’s initial tangents about who might run it, it didn’t even seem like they cared about finding out who ran BearASMR, which was a deep relief. 

Anxiety pooled in his stomach, thrashing around like a growing whirlpool as he watched the two compare their favorite videos during another group dinner. Each excited laugh punctured Taehyung’s mind and made him feel more and more overwhelmed. His clothes became tighter and tighter as they laughed and kept talking, his ears too sensitive, his mind too loud, it was all becoming a lot. 

He tried to focus on the conversation Hoseok, Jimin, Seokjin, and Yoongi were having about work. It seemed to be about the latest drama at Seokjin’s office job, the people there seemed to have a propensity for drama and Taehyung occasionally enjoyed hearing about them. Seokjin’s coworkers were chaos embodied and Taehyung was surprised the place was still standing with all that went down at their office. 

Taehyung sighed, not feeling the conversation in the slightest. He was sick with stress and worry. Maybe if he had the confidence to tell them that BearASMR was his channel, he would have asked Namjoon and Jungkook about their favorite sounds or talked about the strange situations he’s seen and heard about in the ASMR world.

But no. 

He was too stressed. 

Did they know that Taehyung ran the account? Had they pieced it together from the flashes of Taehyung’s face that weren’t cut out of his videos? How many videos did it take for them to realize that it was Taehyung? Were they not saying anything out of courtesy? His nerves were haywire and he felt like his world was slowly closing in on itself the longer he was left to his own thoughts. 

"Oh! Taehyung-ah! You'll never guess who I saw moving into Hyunjin's apartment!" Jimin shouted, causing Taehyung to jump nervously, his stomach turning and twisting uncomfortably.

"Who?"

"Sungmin."

It was like everything came together as red started to wash over Taehyung’s mind. His heartbeat picked up, his stomach a raging whirlpool of nerves and now anger as the pieces started to be pieces together slowly. 

Of course. 

Sungmin knew about his ASMR channel. Sungmin even watched a few videos with an unreadable face when Taehyung nervously shared. Taehyung had thought it’d bring the two closer together but for some reason, Sungmin became closed off and rude after, rarely giving Taehyung quiet time to record and even making many snide and downright rude comments about his hobby. Hell! Sungmin even broke the contract early because of their fall out. Taehyung’s friends didn’t like Sungmin from the beginning (they had many choice words about Sungmin), but Taehyung hadn’t realized how rude Sungmin was until the last few months of living together … 

The flier was posted recently. 

Anger started to overpower Taehyung’s anxiety. 

"What the fuck?"

His lungs felt tiny as he tried to grasp for air. It was as if anger had filled some of the avoli that would otherwise hold air. "Damn hyung! Didn't expect you to cuss about it!" Jungkook laughed. 

This wasn’t funny to Taehyng in the slightest and his anger grew as he looked at Jungkook awkwardly laugh more. 

"I can't believe it!" Taehyung huffed, "I bet he's the one who posted that flier."

“He is an asshole but that might be a bit rude. Even if he moved in last week, him being an asshole doesn’t mean that he’d post something like that flier. Why would he do that?" Namjoon asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.

They didn’t get it. It all fit together so perfectly that it had to be Sungmin. No one else would do this to Taehyung. He was shaking with anger at this point, his mind clouded in red anger and nerves. 

"No, hyung. He did it. It's my channel. You all know how much of a fucking asshole he was to me… He knows how self conscious I am about my channel. He’s the only person who I told who lives here. It has to be him. Has to."

"It's your channel?" Jungkook asked, eyes wide, “It makes sense… but I didn’t realize.” 

Taehyung froze… he hadn’t meant to share that, especially not in anger. His body went cold as if someone splashed him with a bucket of ice water, his head suddenly ice clear as he looked at all his friends.

They were all looking at him with wide eyes and Taehyung didn’t know how to read any of their expressions. It almost felt like he was back in his apartment, watching anxiously as Sungmin watched his youtube videos. 

The air conditioner was too loud, screaming as it pushed chilly air onto Taehyung. 

This was too similar to what happened with Sungmin. 

Taehyung’s own heartbeat was too loud. 

They all were going to hate him because of this.

Just like Sungmin.

His clothes were too tight to his body. 

“I… I have to go. I think I left my… my microwave on.” Taehyung stuttered, pushing through vertigo as he got up anxiously and left quickly. 

If they called out for him, he couldn’t hear over the sound of his own thoughts and heartbeat. Besides, he didn’t want to hear what they might have to say to him. Rushing to his apartment with shaky hands, he entered his pin code.  The door sang loudly as it unlocked. 

Taehyung quickly rushed inside. 

Damn Taehyung. He should’ve kept quiet for now. This wasn’t how he had wanted to tell them about his ASMR channel. He had hoped to tell Hoseok first and then maybe one or two more and slowly tell everyone… not all at once. Not like this where they could now easily talk shit about him behind his back. 

How would Hoseok feel? 

It was so stupid for Taehyung to keep this from him… Surely Hoseok was upset. He was likely heartbroken and planning how to break up with Taehyung right now. Taehyung wouldn’t be surprised if he got a text soon from Hoseok that expressed just that. It was understandable that Hoseok would be upset. 

This was so stupid to keep from Hoseok. So stupid. 

Taehyung would have to talk with them eventually-- if they didn’t cut him off that is.  Maybe Taehyung could try to message them in their group chat, just rip the bandaid off.

Fuck.

Taehyung felt sick.

He didn’t want to think about this right now.He couldn’t right now. His phone was too scary, the weight of it too much for Taehyung to hold. 

Sighing deeply, he wandered over to his kitchen and grabbed a glass of water before returning to his living room and turning on the TV to a random channel. He needed to shut down. After an hour of staring out his window, a random drama playing on the TV to drown out his own thoughts, he gathered up energy to make some tea. 

Sitting around wouldn’t solve anything. If it did, he’d sit around all day and no nothing, but it would be as effective in this situation as an empty hamster wheel is for generating power. 

Tea and a piece of paper might help though. Maybe he could figure out a game plan and start on it tomorrow (or next week). Another hour passed with his mind empty save for the drama that went in one ear and out the other as Taehyung sipped tea, content with procrastinating on thinking up an action plan. 

He was calming down though which was important. His heartbeat was much slower and senses much less stimulated. It was like a breath of fresh air or the calm right after a storm and Taehyung was thankful. Finally he was breathing easily and the churning in his stomach had lessened. 

Ding Dong

The doorbell sung, tearing Taehyung from his thoughts. 

Who would be at his door? 

Anxiety started brewing in Taehyung’s stomach once again as he slowly walked to the door. This couldn’t be good. He hadn’t ordered any packaged and the only people who ever rung his doorbell was his friends… who were likely upset at him.

With baited breath, Taehyung looked out the peephole, Hoseok was standing on the other side, his teeth worrying his lower lip as he looked around, actively avoiding looking at the peephole. Hoseok knew Taehyung checked that before ever opening the door. . He was holding Taehyung’s favorite blanket and stuffed animal, his brows furrowed with worry. 

Taehyung sighed. 

Of course Hoseok was here. He was such a kind person and good boyfriend. Taehyung didn’t deserve such an amazing boyfriend. 

He was even considerate enough to not look at the peephole for Taehyung. 

Hoseok was too good for him.

“Hyung, hi.” Taehyung mumbled as he slowly opened the door for Hoseok, the two quietly making their way to Taehyung’s living room as tears budded in Taehyung’s eyes and his ears started to ache. He didn’t deserve Hoseok in the slightest. 

He wasn’t ready for this situation in the slightest. Hoseok was going to yell at him and break up with him and berate him, and Taehyung deserved all of it. 

“How are you feeling, my bear?” 

“I am sorry for lying.” Taehyung said, his voice quiet and shaky. 

Hoseok cooed, pulling Taehyung into a big hug and tightly wrapping the blanket around Taehyung. Slowly, Hoseok started to gently rock Taehyung back and forth as he hummed quietly. 

“Please don’t apologize. I am sure you had your reasons.” 

Taehyung nodded, “I-I-I do… They aren’t g-go-good though. I t-t-to-totally understand if you want to break up with me.”

“Enough of that. I am not breaking up with you, I promise. You were nervous to share your ASMR channel with people and that’s valid. Besides, I am sure you would’ve told me eventually.”

“Yeah. I-I was planning to but I k-kept on chickening out. I did- did intend to before we moved in together though.”

Hoseok guided the two to the couch, slowly sitting down on it, guiding Taehyung into his warm lap, and  pulling him in closer.

“I am sure you did. I totally understand your anxiety and so does everyone else. No one is upset that you didn’t share your channel with us. I promise.” 

It was like a weight was lifted off of Taehyung’s shoulders, even though he was skeptical of Hoseok’s statement. It was a shock and Taehyung didn’t know how to take it.

Taehyung looked up at Hoseok, his eyes wide, “Really? No one is mad? I would understand if they were.”

“No one. I would have loved to have found this out from you another way, as I am sure others would have loved to share this in a different way, but no one is mad that you didn’t share.” 

“Thank you.” Taehyung nuzzled into Hoseok.

He was tired and his brain felt like a foggy mess. This whole situation stressed him out so much and finally having people know was like a breath of fresh air. Even before the flier was posted, Taehyung felt tired constantly from hiding this, his channel hung over him and even if he wanted to talk about it with people, he couldn’t. 

Distantly, he felt Hoseok rubbing Taehyung’s back, a soothing comfort washing over Taehyung as he drifted into sleep. 

Everything was going to be alright. 

Taehyung took a deep breath, relaxing slowly as he readjusted his array of ASMR tools. 

Everything was going to go alright.

This was going to go perfectly.

“You sure you’re up for this, hyung?” He asked, looking over at Hoseok who was resting on a comfortable stool, his bareback facing Taehyung. Hoseok’s posture was the best Taehyung had ever seen it be and his muscles looked nicely defined as he ever so slightly flexed. It wouldn’t last the whole recording but Taehyung was heartened by the effort Hoseok put in to trying to look proper for the video.

“Of course I am! I am excited to be in a video with you.”

“I am glad. Are you nervous for your ASMR debut?” 

Hoseok laughed, shaking his head vehemently, “Are you kidding me? All I have to do is sit here and let you play with my hair and rub my back for an hour? I'm so hype!”

Taehyung laughed, elated at Hoseok’s excitement, “Alright then. Be as quiet as possible,” He adjusted the microphones and looked over the camera one more time, “We will start soon.” 

“I am so ready!”

With a sure nod, Taehyung turned on the camera, waited a few seconds and waved at the camera, making sure his fingers rubbed against each other softly for a few minutes. Then he grabbed a matchbox, shaking it gently for a little before lighting it, taking time to let it hiss near a mic before lighting the candle. Gently, Taehyung set it down next to a few brushes and back scratchers.

Now the real fun began.