When the character with anger issues is actually written with a wide range of feelings, has nuanced relationships with the other characters, and is shown struggling/learning to work with their emotional dysregulation instead of just being watered down to the "violent" person in the group
the Bamboozle AU turtles and their character designs
each character has a certain sweet food that inspires their looks and outfits with Raph being a candy apple, Donnie being devil's food cake, Leo being a rainbow swirl lollipop, and Mikey being pop rocks
I think my top favorite headcanon is that Raph has Splinter’s eyes
Idk something about it gives me so much serotonin
And listen, hear me out, a hurt/comfort comic idea
What if Raph became really disgusted to look at his eyes after the invasion? Cause they only remind him of the mind controlling he went through, so he can’t bear look at his eyes whenever he’s in front of a mirror
Then Splinter asks Raph to look at his eyes, Raph does and Splinter asks him what he thinks of them, Raph says he thinks they’re beautiful, only for Splinter to go “well you have my eyes so yours are just as beautiful aren’t they?”
And Raph just takes a hot minute to register that then he just hugs his dad cause he’s actually right
It took a bit of time, but eventually he could bear to look at his own eyes, and as more times goes on with Splinter reminding him at each opportunity that they have the same eyes, he believes his dad’s words wholeheartedly
Cause screw the stupid invasion, he’s got the most beautiful eyes in the family, he’s proud of how his eyes look and he would keep observing their beauty 😔❤️🌷✨
Listen Raph and Splinter content is everything I need, plz I need more of them they’re the best
summary: raph is struggling with his insecurities and the pressure he feels as the eldest sibling, more so after the kraang invasion they barely managed to win. reader finds him alone and comforts him.
author's note: i love all of them, but raph ... i love him so frickin much. mans just needs a hug and i'm here to give it to him (through this fic). also, i'm sorry if there's any errors! i rushed to finish this but i'll be jumping back into editing this when writing is fresh on my mind.
it's the fact that i relate to him as an older sibling for me-
raphael sighs to himself as he looks out upon the city he has sworn to protect; whether it's humans or yokai disguised by magic, he watches them from the shadows and intervenes in dangerous situations to protect them as their warrior. a burden he couldn't imagine facing alone and is thankful he shares them with his family.
his family.
his eyes fall down to the fatigued picture in hand, the crinkled image showing his family on the same rooftop he's standing upon, wide grins across their excited faces. he can hear the laughter in that memory ringing in his ears, missing it the moment it drowns in the city noise around him. the memory calms his aching heart, but it soon turns bittersweet as his eyes gaze back out at the city. bittersweet because of the differences he could spot between the city in the image and the one before him. it was his duty to take care of this city with his brothers, who he almost lost because he wasn't strong enough.
if he had brought them here, would they be different too? scarred by the battle that had almost costed them everything? he could envision the smiles they'd put on their faces, but the thought that their minds would never escape that battle unscathed ...
tears blurred the mutant's vision, choked sobs hidden behind his trembling lip. tears spilled down his cheek and stained the image with his anguish. not only did he fail at protecting this city, but he failed his job as the eldest brother. nothing could change the past, but if he wasn't strong enough to protect his brothers then, how could he now? after it all, he could still feel the kraang crawling in his flesh, that monster's hunger for destruction still etched into his subconscious. what if they didn't lock the kraang away forever? if it came back with a powerful vengeance and destroyed his city, his family, and the life they worked so hard to rebuild? he holds the picture close, tucking his knees to his plastron and sobbing quietly.
overwhelmed by his grief, raph didn't hear someone ascending the ladder to the rooftop, landing with a soft thud. (name) is relieved to have found him, though pauses when she hears shaky sighs and quiet cries. her heart breaks at the realization that it's coming from her beloved turtle, and she approaches slowly before kneeling behind him. she's hesitant to reach out to him, so she just keeps herself an arm's length away to give him some space.
"raph?"
even though her voice barely raises above a whisper, raph still flinches in surprise; he's quick to rub the tears off of his face, sniffling in attempt to compose himself. his guts twist into knots when he feels her soft eyes on him, the thought of seeing her features drawn into worry making his lip tremble. he bites down on it to calm himself, tilting his head just enough to sneak a glance in her direction; though he doesn't meet her eye, choosing to look at the ground behind her as he forces a smile on his face. "angel, what're you doin' here? I thought you were asleep." his voice squeaks during his greeting, failing to keep steady due to how sore his throat was.
"mhm, i woke up after the movie and your brothers' said you went to your room, but i couldn't find you ... so i thought you might be up here." she answers, and his attention is already focused to the city in front of him. she slowly scoots closer, soon at his side as they both take in the view of the city. when she tilts her head after a long silence, she feels another ache shock her body; his skin was raw and tear-stained, his eyes agitated from rubbing and glossy from the inner turmoil brewing in his heart. her eyes wander to his hand, where she spots a familiar image held tightly in his grasp, as if he was terrified to lose that memory. she smiles, reaching over to place a reassuring touch on his arm as she motions to the picture. "i thought we lost that," his attention is drawn to her hand, looking down at the picture. he shakes his head, a small yet genuine smile creeping on his face. "nope, i've kept it this entire time."
"wasn't that april's birthday, when she wanted to watch the sunset?"
"yeah, it was..."
"didn't you get stomped in that game of mario kart too?"
that catches the turtle's attention, his eyes raising to look at that playful grin on her face. he smirks, shaking his head as he's quick to rebuttal; "no, i let you all win only because it was april's birthday," he answers with a raised brow that makes her giggle, and it's the sweetest sound he's ever heard. though she sticks her tongue out in reply. "sure you did, raph."
"okay, be that way; but i don't wanna hear you cryin' when you lose next time!" his challenge makes the both of them laugh, and he shakes his head after the laughter dies down before looking back at the image. the playful jabbing eased some of his nerves, but that fear still made his chest ache. raph knows (name) sees it, though she says nothing as she rubs her hand affectionately against his arm, the touch reassuring on its own and not requiring words to be shared between them. he appreciates the space she gives, not pressuring him to talk but just being there to support him. he was concerned about sharing his burdens to her, though she does nothing but welcome it as she senses his hesitance.
"what's on your mind, teddy bear?"
raph breaks, venting every possible emotion he was possibly living in; his anxiety about the return of the kraang, his grief of failing to protect this city, and how he failed as the eldest of his brothers. how he couldn't protect them or prepare them for this world, and how his weakness almost became their downfall. tears fall somewhere between his rants, yet she never interrupts his rant as he spills out to her in soft cries. they've turned to face each other, her hands holding onto his hand and squeezing gently to comfort him. when he's finished, she leans closer to him with a smile.
"raphael, my love ... you are one of the strongest people i know. your bravery knows no bounds, and you'd sacrifice yourself a million times again before you'd let your brothers go. i've seen that determination in them as i've seen it in you; and that shows just how much you've taught them. it's not your fault that the burden of protecting the world has been handed to you, yet you've fought like hell to carry it so the world didn't have to; and you still continue to do so, despite the struggles you've faced,"
each word melts the turtle, and he looks at her with wide, glossy eyes as she cups his face between her hands and makes him face her.
"there isn't a measurement for how proud your family and i are to have you as a brother, son, and hero. we love you and will support you to the moon and beyond. as for whatever evils we face, we will fight them together as a team. we've always been stronger that way." her conclusion was reached as she leans closer, pressing a gentle kiss against his beak. his eyes are wide open, feeling his heart thump heavily in his chest. tears had stilled themselves during her monologue, but soon resumed as his chest ached at her words.
he pulls her tight against his plastron, winding his arms around her back and embracing her. raph minds his strength and tries not to hurt her, but she wraps her arms around his neck and holds him tighter anyways. he shakes and sniffles, relieved by her heartfelt words as they sit together in silence. when he calms down, he kisses the side of her temple and smiles against her skin.
"(name), you have no idea what that means to me ... thank you."
she grins, pulling away to look up into his eyes and wipe his cheeks with her thumbs.
"of course, raph. i'll be here forever, as long as you want me to be."
which makes him all flustered and gets her laughing. he grins, the love behind his eyes almost sickening as he still holds you close.
"always, angel. always."
even if he's just trying to tease her, the sincerity laced within his loving tone was enough to make her heart skip a million beats.
"good ... so why don't we go back to the lair so i can beat you at mario kart AGAIN?"
"game. on. you are so gonna eat those words, (name)!"
This is for @trubblegumm and their 3K DTIYS. I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've drawn Raph's shell from the back and quite honestly I had a blast with it.
Everyone should go check out their Bloodbath AU because it is stupendous!!!
