#really talk

[avoidingavoidanceissues]

You’re doing everything you can to avoid thinking about them, aren’t you? To avoid remembering them. To avoid wanting to reach out and apologize, to try again, to set new boundaries and expectations (within reason), to explain, to hug them and say you’re sorry you ran.

Stop it.

Reach out. Talk to them. Stop running.

Heal Together ❤️‍🩹

[absurdthirst]

Sorry anon, but I’ve been on the other side of that. I’ve found out my partner was in love and pining for someone else while with me. He couldn’t have her, and she couldn’t have him, but they still talked all day every day, treated each other like lovers, gaslit me for feeling uncomfortable about it—it destroyed me. I thought we were it, y’know? And knowing that he was never into me, never interested in me, never saw me in the way I saw him, that I was just there to pass the time pretty much because he couldn’t have her—it’s soul destroying. Please don’t do that to someone.

Anon. Here is someone with first hand experience

[ive-garden]

What in the f*ing world was Niall Lynch thinking by putting his eldest son through all of this sh*t!!!??? Oh my God, this guy was awful 😢. Declan was only a teenager.

Meanwhile Ronan was at the Barns living his best life and thinking he had a hero for a father. 🤦‍♀️

This is me re-reading TRK btw

[cinearia]

"Rhys also knows that this would be the best"

"Of course he thinks that"

"He notices things too, Nesta" Feyre murmured.

"But of course he notices" she held herself back to keep from rolling her eyes, although her voice betrayed her "You two live in each other's heads that seem to barely communicate"

"What does our relationship have to do with it?"

"What do I have to do with your relationship?" Nesta voice raised along the walls, locked there and between the two, where no one will put distance from each other, and no magic shields and mind readers. Nesta doubt, considering how they look at her, that no one knows that Feyre was there "So he can decide what to do with me and you aplaude"

Feyre left the tea close to her mouth, freezing in the time that she used to blink.

"Are you afraid of him?"

Nesta swallowed, holding that ridiculous look as if discovered something.

"No" replied "Of course not"

I'm afraid what he could do to me if you don't hold him. If he came to me alone.

'Always be careful with powerful man'. Her mother once said, but was a basic rule for the life.

[12345bakobako]

I just wanna to ask why you guys follow me?

I been seeing when ever i do are requests a get a lot of followers but when i close them tho next day i lost followers do you guys follow me just for free art?

[avoidingavoidanceissues]

Are you angry they missed your presence? If you look back was your presence almost always a positive one to them?

Are you angry that they wanted you to be around? Ask yourself if they wanted you around because you were a good thing, and they put so much love and effort into making their presence the same, or at least trying to.

Or was that what scared you? Was their vulnerability, their need to be reassured that you’d stick around too much? Because they MUST be waiting to turn it on you, right? They MUST be waiting to show that other side…..

What if there wasn’t an other side? What if it was just that simple? They needed you. They needed to feel that closeness. What if, for once, they truly just loved you and wanted you around.

Now, they may need to learn to put a little less of themselves into you, and not forget to be their own person just as you need to be, but that doesn’t mean they are out to get you. It doesn’t mean they aren’t there for long run. It doesn’t mean they’ll turn on you. It doesn’t mean it’s a reason to run away.

Could it be they simply greatly appreciated and valued your presence. Could they use a little healing? Could you?

Reach out. Talk to them.

Heal together ❤️‍🩹

[avoidingavoidanceissues]

Did you get overwhelmed? That’s ok.

Did you shut down and run away instead of saying “hey, I just need a few days to myself because I’m getting overwhelmed.”? That’s not ok.

Did they try and fix it? That’s ok.

Did you get angry that they tried to fix it when you ran away without warning? That’s not ok.

You find yourself stuck in this cycle:

You start by wanting someone to love you

You feel like you found that someone

Then something about their style potentially triggers you

You start thinking of leaving.

You actually decide to leave the relationship

You feel happy that you left the relationship

You begin to feel lonely

You wonder why this always happens to you

Could you have asked what you could do at any of these steps? Of course! It’s always good to ask. To really try and see it through.

Give a little time. Reach out to them. Accept that they are human, and accept you are too. If they do love you, they’ll be willing to talk.

Give them the low down, accept the faults you also made (very rarely are these avoidant issues so one sided), and explain what was truly on your mind. You never know, they could have been willing to accept it all along, if they only knew.

Start again. In a better way. Heal, together ❤️‍🩹

Avoidant Personality Disorder

Avoidant personality disorder is marked by poor self-esteem and an intense fear of rejection. You can learn more here.