Mar 22, 2025
It’s okay to ask for help.
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It’s okay to ask for help.
Can't wait to come back to your blog after Elriel is confirmed. We'll see how "multi-shipper" your feeling then when your real ship is dead 💜
Oof... I don't want to let you down, friend. If you'll be waiting that long, I'll need to make sure you're not disappointed. I have a few different crashout plans, but I'm open for input. Come off anon and I'll tag you when it goes down!
How should I crash out when Elriel is confirmed?
Shave my head on live while doing slam poetry about how betrayed I feel by SJM
Self-immolation on the front steps of BB headquarters
Document my journey reality shifting to be with Lucien myself
Turn Elucien fanfic into my own bestselling series out of spite
Switch to my Elriel alt account and pretend this one never happened
Read & enjoy it because I don't care who's endgame (spoiler: it's this one)
This is weird behavior, friend. I hope things are okay at home 💕
rip badjhur, I never got much into the audio side of the cod fandom or nsfw media, but I read through some of the posts made by his friends and can see how dearly he'll be missed. reminder that the 988 crisis line is completely free to text and call 24/7.
Umm, why am I seeing INCEST Joel Miller fan fics... like full blooded daughter type shit. I don't even like DBF! Joel or Stepdad! Joel (but whatever floats your boat). But ACTUAL incest is some crazy work. We need to bring back shame. Like actual shame. People have gotten too comfy on the internet. Please, go seek help in the most kindest way possible 🙏🏼
When your drowning in doubts about yourself, know that there are always going to be others willing to help you breath. You just have to grab onto their hand.
Dear ADHD friends, especially my newly diagnosed ones/ those who are just starting out on medications,
I am not a doctor. But I feel that every ADHDer taking medications should know,
Your ADHD medicine may stop working over time. This is called tolerance. It is normal and even to be expected.
Try not to immediately let your doctor up your dosage... and possibly make you feel the need to abuse.
Please, CONSIDER ASKING YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT TOLERATION BREAKS FIRST.
(Toleration breaks without guidance can lead to withdrawal, please be very careful and research the medication you are taking.)
And if you must increase dosage to the max and find yourself growing tolerant,
REMEMBER THAT THERE ARE MANY OPTIONS OUT THERE. YOU DO NOT NEED TO RESORT TO ABUSE.
Drug abuse, in general, is a stigmatized topic, and toleration for prescribed stimulants is something that I believe doesn't get talked about enough.
Your health is far more important than your grades, your work, and anything else your ADHD medicine may assist you with.
Toleration is your brain's response to the effects of stimulants over time. While some people experience it faster than others and it varies from person to person, there's a good chance that everyone taking stimulants will come across it at one point.
But once it happens, it's not the end of the world.
I'm recovering from stimulant abuse, and I NEED you to know, my friend:
The capitalist mindset may make you feel like you need to prioritize your ability to keep up with a neurotypical society over all else, but trust me. Your health comes first. No matter how demanding the world can be for us, you should NEVER risk hurting your body just to satisfy the increasingly harsh expectations of those around you.
Doctors will often immediately resort to upping your dosage in response to toleration. Once you've found your ideal dosage, avoid this unless absolutely necessary. Discuss toleration breaks with your doctor first.
It's a capitalist tactic to up your dosage when it's possibly not necessary with a little bit of breaks and listening to your brain.
By going off your medicine for a certain amount of time, the lack of stimulus may help your brain reduce that tolerance.
I didn't know this because toleration breaks don't get talked about enough.
This is what led me to stimulant abuse.
I kept growing tolerant to my medicines in a couple of weeks. Every time, my psychiatrist upped my dosage.
Eventually, I was at the max dosage. But I grew tolerant yet again.
I felt that I needed to risk my health in order to stay on top of school. So, instead of trying to take a break or getting help from my parents/doctor, I began to combine my medication with heavy energy drinks. Even if it worked, I felt sick. I was nauseous. I was shaky. I vomited. I couldn't eat. I struggled to breathe.
But I continued, and eventually started double dosing.
I became violently angry to the point I lost multiple friends. My stress was at an all-time high to the point where I couldn't sleep at night. I began to lose weight because I couldn't eat due to both loss of appetite and a sudden fear of gaining weight. My physical health got worse and worse. My goal was to get my grades up, but my grades also suffered.
Not long after, my body finally had enough, and I almost had a heart attack.
My parents finally saw through my masking and realized that something was wrong. I was taken to therapy where I got the help I needed.
I was taken off the medications for some time... and yes, I struggled with school. However, with the help of therapy, my parents, and teachers, I was able to make it through.
By the time I took my medicine again at a lower dose, it worked just like it used to. As I continue to heal, toleration breaks help me in ways that I cannot express in words. I've gotten much better thanks to it.
I learned it the hard way.
Stimulant abuse is never the answer. It's not worth it.
Some time without your medicine may be difficult, but trust me. It's far more worth it than risking your health and even life only for it to make everything worse. I'm BLESSED that my situation wasn't worse.
Keep your head high. Know that you are not a working machine, and you are a strong, beautiful human being that can get through this. You may feel belittled by the neurotypical "standards" that our society unfortunately has, but you're worth way beyond that. It's up to you to put your foot forward and have a say in your treatment.
And if you are currently going through stimulant abuse, know that you've got this. It's not your fault. You're completely valid. There is plenty of hope. Seeking help can save your life. Reach out to parents, doctors, school counselors, teachers, family members... ANYONE.
If you don't have anyone you feel you can safely speak to, here are some resources:
US:
The following are valuable external resources that can be used by anyone struggling directly or indirectly with addiction or mental…
UK:
Find a list of organisations and services who can help if you are experiencing addiction or dependency, such as to drugs, alcohol, sex, smok
FIND HOTLINE FOR YOUR COUNTRY:
Do you need to speak to someone right now? HelpGuide's directory of hotlines around the world can provide you with help.
You see everything as a slight. Every minor flaw a glaring red klaxon, or looking at things in a new context to try and make them so.
You see everything as attempts to sway you, which makes you feel like they’re trying to be manipulative, likely because someone DID once (or a few times, because let’s be honest: some people just suck.)
Could it be that your relationship is just still on their mind? That your relationship meant that much to them that they picked up habits, inside jokes, new ways of speaking, new ways of thinking?
Could it be you’re angry with yourself for running away, but now you’re trying to make up a reason to see them as a problem or a threat because you’re afraid to look at why the lapse of illusionary drop made you turn and say “nah.”?
It’s ok ❤️ it’s ok to be angry, but it’s also important to remember not everyone is out to hurt you. They aren’t your past. Look into why that anger is so strong. Look into why you think they’re trying to hurt you. Don’t avoid it.