"Away from Here" - Reason #33
I love you because you are something to wait for... you are worth everything, and you are someone who is worth throwing everything away for just to be with...
Before I suppose you talked me out of it... I was seriously just going to leave home in the middle of the night with nothing but a backpack filled with stuff that would keep me going for maybe just a few days at best for a 25 day trip, the clothes on my back, and a stack of papers that gave directions to Florida...
I was literally and honestly going to walk myself from Maine to Florida, knowing I would probably get lost and hurt, knowing I would be throwing away my family and my life behind, just so I could be able to see your face, share a smile with you, and hear your laugh and voice in person...
Without hope or agenda, I was going to walk through hot suns, cold weather, pouring rain, heavy fog, breezy days, and lonesome nights just to be able to hold you... even if it was just for a single day.
We seem to have come up with a more solid, less risky solution to everything... but the thought of running away to you still crosses my mind, and it probably will for a long while.
I kept convincing myself that it was the only option I really had... I truly thought you were falling away from me... so... what better way to try to win your heart other than to show up on your front door step, letting you know I traveled cross-country on foot just to look you in the eyes and sincerely tell you that I love you?
I knew the moment I would have stepped out my front door and shut it that there would be no going back... I could actually do it right now safely; my sister is asleep, my mother is directly above my head, far away from the front door, and I could just sneak out and not come back for a month...
I planned to leave a note on the front door as well as an entirely long message on my computer explaining different things to my mother and sister, but never once mentioning where I was going or whom I was going to.
I would have left behind my bed, my computer, my Xbox, my shelter, my warm meals, my best friend Ruby, my sister, my mother, my guitar, my life... I would have left it all for almost two months, I probably would have missed the day college started back up, I would have sacrificed my bed for a dirt ground, I would have sacrificed my entertainment for very far mile-long walks every single day...
...and I don't care about anything I would have sacrificed because it would have all been worth it, to get away from everything, if I knew I could just be with you.
I may or may not do it someday... I don't know... but the thought still lingers, and I have no idea what will happen before our actual plan takes place... if something happens, I may take running away into heavy consideration again... maybe someday you won't hear from me for a month, and you'll suddenly hear a bunch of knocks on your front door, and your dad will say something like, "Hailey, this guy named Craig wants to see you."
I would do anything to be with you... and I would do anything if I knew I could see you first, before anyone else... I want you to be my first everything, and I would honestly save it all for you... I only want you to have me, and it would mean worlds to me if you only wanted me to have you, too...
I don't want any other girl except you.
You are truly my envisionment of perfection.
I just want to be with you...
...so much, that I would run away and leave my life behind... just to hold your hand, and for once... maybe be able to call you mine.
