Reclaiming movement, activity, motion for the sake of happiness
I've been a bicycle rider most of my life. In fact, I don't know how to drive a car because I prefer to ride my bike....well tricycle
Well.....you gotta imagine the range of comments i get. A plus size black girl out riding her tricycle in a predominately white suburb. Its bound to raise some eyebrows.
Amongst the compliments for having such a cool bike, i occasionally hear "it must be great exercise for you".
In theory, yes, riding a tricycle everywhere is great exercise. Considering i have a lock box on the back that serves as my trunk, i can go grocery shopping, go to the library, or even make it to the mall on a really good day. If i fill that box up to the brim, it probably weighs 50lbs on top of a bike frame that weights about a 100lbs. Its not a lightweight piece of machinery.
But weight loss is not the reason why i like or even continue to riding my tricycle. It wasn't even the driving motivation for getting the tricycle at the beginning of high school.
I genuinely like being out in the open air. I like rolling down hills, walking up them pushing my trike, flying past people at high speeds. I like seeing the world in motion as i ride on past, not being able to hear most of it because i have headphones in. I like putting the world to a soundtrack and watching it roll on by. I like the independence of not having to ask for a ride somewhere, and the environmental freedom of not having to depend on gas to get around.
From a health perspective, i like that my body stays the proportions that I want it to. I don't want to be thinner. I want to be stronger in some places, and softer in some places.
I like that my legs get a work out. Considering my knee caps used to pop out of place really easily, i needed a way to strengthen the muscles around them. I didn't even think about that at the time i bought the bike. I just didn't want to take the bus to high school or walk. But considering my knees used to pop out multiple times a month, I've gone for years without popping them out, and its a great feeling.
Essentially, I really hate the perception that I must be riding my tricycle just to loose weight. It removes my ability as a person capable of enjoying things, to just enjoy taking a bike ride.
I think it places me in this box, where all my movements must be dedicated to weight loss or "getting healthier", and can't possibly be for any other reason.
In this box i become stripped of a person who can perform activities or movement for enjoyment, and am reduced to the person who is doing it to meet an end goal society wants me to reach, not one i want to reach.
I am then having another person's expectations transposed over my own, and when i voice those expectations it sounds horribly ridiculous to that person. I must have my intentions wrong, because somebody my size can't samba because they enjoy the samba, but because its a belly buster.
So in that step i loose my body, my right to enjoyment, and even my own sense of vocal agency....all because a person can't get past the fact that I'm not out to get into itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini by summer.
If anything, i think this fallacy makes movement a turn off, no matter what size you are.
For example: Nobody wants to hear about learning how to dance like Shakira because doing so will help you loose weight.
People want to learn how to dance like Shakira because HOLY SHIT SHE CAN DO THAT WITH HER BODY AND ITS SO FUCKING MIND BLOWING AND HOT DAMN I WANNA BE ABLE TO DO THAT TOO!!
As somebody who likes to dance, likes to walk, likes to ride bikes, living in a society where enjoyment of movement has a specific size attached to it is very sad. Thinking about how if i were a thin dancer my motivations wouldn't get questioned, clearly i have a passion for dance. But with the body i have now I must have seen some late night infomercial about how dancing like a stripper: the DVD will help me shed pounds.
If I could say one thing to people out there in the world, is to do things that make you happy. Reclaim movement for personal happiness, not for corporate gain or governmental satisfaction. Reclaim your inner happiness, your inner sense of calm, your pleasure places and mental spaces where the world is entirely yours for the taking. Reclaim your state of mind and state of self from the nauseating propaganda that has a means to an end.
If moving makes you happy, then move. And movement doesn't have to be grand sweeping gestures of activity. Everyone is working with different levels of physical ability when it comes to movement. We shouldn't be held to the standard that jogging 5 miles is the only true way to move or be active. People should be given the space to find their niche, the encouragement to keep exploring it and working with it, not on it.
